The economic meltdown of the past couple of years has turned so called conventional wisdom on it’s head. From being independent children who had supposedly “left the nest” are returning to their parents home or, in some cases never leaving. With housing getting steadily out of the reach of most ordinary folk the trend looks set to continue. “Retirement” assuming you were thinking of it, has become a distant dream for many. (I’ve no intention of retiring)

For the childfree the question “so who will look after you when you get old?” is never far away. It’s usually on the end of a “bingo” from childed people. Reason being that having children is still seen as a kind of insurance policy… and what with long term care costing stratospheric amounts of cash many who have children either expect or secretly hope their kids will take care of them when they can’t take care of themselves. Even if they don’t admit it, the hope is there. If it wasn’t I doubt it would be a bingo.

Of course we know that this can often be a misplaced expectation. Stories abound of parents, left to a lonely existence in homes or even in their own homes with never a visit from their kids or the grandkids. They don’t even get a phone call, let alone a visit from their children. I think it must be tough to have given so much of your life to rearing kids only to be abandoned in your old age. Or the children may live thousands of miles away… or have other problems. In some cultures this is less of a “problem” as children are traditionally expected to look after the parents – the parents often move in with them. I have a colleague who’s built a special house with a “granny flat” attached to it.

The childfree are likely to face an interesting situation…. having to  potentially care for own parents while having to sort out who’s going to be looking after us. Or how to put enough funds aside to ensure one remains independent.

For the latter I believe a lot needs to change. For example the childfree should have more incentives to save for their later years instead of seeing the bulk of their taxes going to support child related services. More tax breaks fro the childfree would be a good start. Either way it will be up to the childfree to have a plan of action. What should that plan look like?

What do you answer when people ask the “what will you do when…?” question. What issues can you see looming? Or are there no issues at all? What else needs to change and what support do the childfree need?  What else can you add to this article?

Share your thoughts.

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{ 14 comments }

The issue of friendship has been on my mind for some time, triggered by a few events. I’ve written quite a few posts about Chidlfree friendships on this blog ranging from how to find new friends – to the way our friendships change if one of the friends starts having children. If you are new to this blog you are probably yet to read them… so do a search on friendship and they’ll come up. They’re all in the archive and here are 3 of them below:

Childfree – What happened to our Friendship?

Childfree – What Happens to Your Friendships

Childfree – Friendships Change

Rather than repeat exactly what’s in the posts – you can read each of them – I’ll write about some of my recent observations.

The first one hasn’t changed. If you’re childfree and single, start planning from the get-go to make new friends. Because once the people you went to Uni with start having kids the chances of your being left out on a limb are high. I hear many childfree people say (disturbingly I might add) that they hope their friendships won’t change. Here’s the thing. They WILL change, and, as far as you are concerned, not for your benefit. If you’re lucky you will spot this way in advance of the arrival of the kids. And even if you yourself like children, it probably won’t be enough. The farther removed you are the better… but in these days of Facebook distance is becoming irrelevant. Recently a friend of ours had a baby. We’re all friends not just on FB but in actual fact. But I knew the inevitable photos of the baby were going to be a staple… in fact FB friends had a ringside seat (regardless right up and during the birth). Well, some might say, you can just de-friend or block or otherwise hide all the updates (Thankfully they are less now). No, in some cases you can’t. It isn’t that simple. [click to continue…]

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{ 28 comments }

So, Does The “Childfree Movement” Have a PR Problem?

June 15, 2010

Yes, Virginia There Are nice childfree people
This post caught my eye today so I thought I’d blog it while I’m in a writing mood. Probably if my last post hadn’t been about asking how the childfree come across I might have missed it, but as it happened I was curious to see what someone else [...]

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Do Childfree People Come Across as Strident and Bitter… or Happy and Contented?

June 7, 2010

Short… and potentially controversial.
We’re childfree and we’re happy about it. We wouldn’t change our lives for anything. So why is it that more an more I am seeing these kinds of comments…
“I can’t visit any of the childfree forums… everyone there seems so angry…”
“Why are childfree people always angry… and so nasty to parents and [...]

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I’m OK About Not Having Kids Now. But What About Later? A Reader’s Dilemma

May 28, 2010

I thought this was such an interesting comment I decided it would be a brilliant childfree article in its own right. Heather actually commented on So You Don’t Have Kids? Be Grateful which in itself garnered over 50 comments. Older posts tend to get rather buried, though so it’s a good refresher for that childfree [...]

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Just Why Are the Childfree Regarded with Suspicion?

May 17, 2010

We live in the 21st century. We’re more connected that ever before (or so some would have us believe). We have Earth Day, Women’s Day, this Day, that Day… in fact a day to celebrate or remember anything that comes to mind. Mother’s Day has come and gone and Fathers Day is just a few [...]

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Childfree – On the Outside Looking In?

May 1, 2010

My  childfree blogging mojo has gone AWOL of late. So I will be on my as and when blogging schedule… where I blog when I’ve something to say.
Reading all the comments has been great though.  A couple of them gave me the idea for this article. In particular the ones that mentioned sometimes feeling envious of parents. I found [...]

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Happiness Need Not include Kids

April 12, 2010

The other day I was reading one of my favourite personal development newsletters. A couple of weeks ago they asked this question of their readers: “What makes you happy?”
I expected a range of answers. There are lots of things that make me happy and perhaps because I am childfree they are different from most people. [...]

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Away For A Bit – Transforming Social Lives!

March 24, 2010

Not your usual article, this one. My normal posting schedule’s going to be interrupted for a bit as I launch a very big project over the next few days! I call it my passion project because I’ve wanted to do it for years – ever since I came to Toronto – and this year is [...]

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New Layout

March 9, 2010

As if you didn’t notice. I’m sorry to say bye to my last theme, but it’s time to convert all my blogs to Thesis   I think this makes it much easier to read. I will be tinkering with it over the next little while.

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