Like It Is

Italy 3 Ukraine 0. I favoured Italy to win this encounter. I still thought Ukraine had a chance when Italy scored their first goal, but on the second, I thought it was pretty much over – Italy had won.. Italy played very well and deserved their win, with some great defensive football and some beautiful goals.

Ukraine had a couple of chances to score, but on two occasions hit the woodwork.Any chance of saving the day disappeared, when, at about halfway through the second half, they again missed a great opportunity to score at least a goal. They weren’t helped by the  strong Italian defence, theirs was less disciplined. Still, though they lost, lot’s of things for them to reflect on for their next attempt in four years.

Italy will face their big test when they meet Germany in the semi-finals.

Germany 1 Argentina 1. (Germany wins 4–2 on penalties).

Wow! What a close match this was! Terrific game. Germany beats Argentina 4–2 on a penalty shoot out. Argentina was leading after Roberto Ayala’s goal at 49 minutes. But then, with 10 minutes left Germany equalised with Miroslav Klose’s goal, his fifth of the tournament.

The quarter-final was 1–1 after extra time. These were two really good teams and you just knew that one of them was going to go home in tears. When it went to penalties I was holding my breath. Germany scored from their first four kicks, but Argentina missed two – sending the hosts all the way through to the semi-final. Well done Germany. Great match.

I felt sorry for Argentina at first – who looked and probably were – in total shock.Their players were in tears, particularly the ones who missed the penalties. They really believed they were going through. I was only sorry for them until I saw what was happening on the pitch after the game, though. That reminded me what poor losers they are. Winning is important, but nobody likes a poor loser.

Brazil 3 Ghana 0.  I had favoured Brazil to win this match so wasn’t really surprised. When at half time I saw the score was 2–0 I thought that’s it for Ghana. Brazil then go on to get another goal. Ghana had plenty of energy, plenty of spirit and kept going at it. They even controlled play for a lot of the game and created some chances. But their lack of delivery let them down every time, which was a pity. They should have scored at least one goal. I think they have a lot of great players (many of whom play outside Ghana), however their coach needs to work on creating the talent that comes from a great team, rather than just great players. Something for the next World Cup?  All said and done though, well done to Ghana for coming this far.

France  3  Spain 1.  Late goals in the last 10 minutes sealed France’s place in the quarter final and an assured meet with Brazil, while a defeated Spain heads out of the World Cup. I’m surprised either team got this far, frankly. France v Brazil.  Today’s victory over Spain will be like a walk in the park compared to what they’ll get when they meet Brazil, because they aren’t as good a team as Brazil. Should be interesting.

Switzerland 0–0 Ukraine (0–3 on penalties). I didn’t catch this match live, but I think this would have been worth watching simply because of the dreaded penalties to elimination. Ukraine beat Switzerland on penalties and now go through to the quarter finals to meet Italy. The Swiss are going home. But not without a couple of records… they are the first team to go out of the World Cup without having conceded a goal. Pretty remarkable. They are also the first side that did not score a single penalty in a shoot-out. Ouch!

Italy 1 Australia 0. Did Australia want to win this one? I mean really, really? Nice tidy football, but where was the fire to win? Where was the ambition? Did they think they were playing…um… France?

Even though Australia dominated possession, (58% to 42%) they seemed unable to produce anything from it. Even with a 10 man Italian team. Not that Italy made the most of it either; not until stoppage time did Francesco Totti score a penalty during injury time that gave Italy all they needed to go through to the quarter finals. I hear that the Aussie coach thought the penalty award was suspect (No, really?)… perhaps it was, but it hardly matters now. Fact is, Australia hadn’t produced anything up until then anyway, so little point complaining? They paid the price, and it’s back to Oz for the Aussies.

A question deserves a response, right? Yes. Sometimes. That depends on the question.

When I first started writing my responses to “Reactions to the Childfree Choice Part I” I wrote mostly from the point of view of someone who was presented, or more often confronted with, these assumptions, to which I would generally give short, sarky and very much to the point responses. Designed to stop the line of questioning in its tracks, for I had neither the time nor the patience.

Then I thought, this was an ideal blogging opportunity to inform people who:

1. Think that it’s o.k. to have these assumptions and that they do no harm

2. Have never stopped to question their own assumptions about Childfree men and women

3. Think that they can change the Childfree woman’s or man’s mind

4. Have never even considered how offensive their inferences and questions could be

5. Have simply never questioned that the fact that there is an alternative lifestyle to having children,

6. Don’t believe there is any other life other than one that involves having children

7. Are just interested in knowing more

For Childfree people, both men and women, it’s sometimes hard to answer the person who poses these questions and makes these comments in the many and varied ways in which they come. Sometimes, this is because, so insulting are the comments that it’s just not worth the effort replying. Or the setting may not be appropriate. Sometimes the childfree response is likely to be curt and direct (well, why should we always have to explain ourselves to someone else? Others - namely the with-children- never think they need to explain themselves to us or anyone else) while we try to correct misconceptions and ignorance. It gets tiring, particularly when it is made clear that the Childfree woman’s choice is unimportant at best and just plain “wrong” at worst.

I hope the series of articles (which I’ll be posting at regular intervals) give other childfree people some angles on which to build their own responses should they be confronted with these and other assumptions and intrusive questions. Most of us have heard them, some so many times that we tune them out. I think many of the assumptions made about Childfree people – certainly the ones in my previous post – are not only untrue, but can be quite hurtful and damaging.

My own responses to people really depends on what mood I happen to be in when I’m confronted by an offending comment, and the setting. You can’t always let rip at someone who is clearly ignorant about you even though you would like to. Usually there is no time to prepare, you don’t have a script. You are caught unawares in many cases. And the majority of my responses would be directed at strangers – since people who know me, and my friends whether they have children or not don’t assume and have never made any of these comments to me.

In the interests of my readers I’ve grouped the points (1–22) that are similar. I have also split the article into separate posts, to avoid reader fatigue! I found that some of the points needed a bit of commentary, however they are by no means exhaustive as I am sure you’ve had your own experiences and how you’ve responded. Feel free to add them.

Prepare to be informed, learn something new, see a new angle on something you already knew, get some ideas for your own responses, get validation, support.

Childfree? Read on. Have children? Then read on.

My polite answer to this one? Usually – Nope. Aren’t you? My not so polite answer? Well, let’s just say it’s very colourful

Someone who hardly knows you has the gall to trot out this one! Sadly, that Childfree people are selfish one of the most common accusations Childfree men and women are faced with – women probably more frequently than men. I think it is said without proper thought. Either that, or people have a different idea of what constitutes being selfish.

Presumably, we are selfish because we choose not to procreate and hand our lives over to raising a child and/or children, instead choosing to focus on our own development, our relationships, friends, mate, (if we have one) exploration, education, travel, learning, and the many other activities, interests, and things that matter to us and that make up a full life.

Since the “selfish” tag seems mainly to be directed at women who have consciously decided to be Childfree it can be easy for women to feel on the defensive and compelled to explain all the ways you are not selfish. To speak or not to speak depends on the situation.

Personally, I consider it is far more selfish for people to have multiple children, using more of the world’s resources and impacting even more of the ecosystem for the simple reason that they just want children. People with children inferring non-parents are selfish seem to be oblivious of this. From disposable nappies (diapers), to 4×4’s SUVs that guzzle gas and create pollution when ferrying children to school and back and everything in between, there is no question that families with children consume several times more than those without. It’s very useful to be able to present this counter. And just re-cycling doesn’t cut it either.

Sometimes, I may ask my questioner to define “ being selfish”. If having more time to myself, having time to nurture my marriage, having time to volunteer for activities and causes, and the freedom to do what I want to do when I want to do it makes me selfish then so be it. I suspect most people would relish the freedom to do what they want.

With children, if you get any time to yourself at all it’s a luxury, most times you get no time for yourself until they’re grown up and gone. My time is my own because of the choices I made, not by accident and not by going along with the crowd. It’s as if some people with children deeply resent that, feeling instead that I should be sharing their reality. It makes them feel good to call me selfish, because, by default, they are selfless, denying themselves for “a greater good”. Or so they would have us believe. Perhaps they recognise that my reality is a reminder of what they willingly gave up. Whatever, we all make choices. I don’t see why I should be criticised for mine particularly when I’m happy for it.

Portugal 1 Netherlands 0. What to call this match? I have never seen anything like it. What a shambles of a match – bad tempered, unsportsmanlike, bad blood, play acting, head butting – the list goes on, all negative. The motto seemed to be cheat and dive and foul, no matter what. An ugly game. England must be rubbing their hands in glee looking forward to meeting a Portugal who will be fielding a team with lots of missing men. They shouldn’t be too happy as, in my opinion, there was still more quality in Portugal’s game than in England’s. It just got rather lost in the yellow and red cards.

England haven’t even played well yet and they are going to stumble into the quarter finals. The one good thing about the Portugal-Netherlands game was Maniche’s goal, but even then, he committed a bookable offence, leaving the field completely after scoring the goal. But Portugal are through to the quarter finals and will play England next week.

I could barely look away and when I did it was to return to yet another yellow or red card or a sending off. At times the game degenerated into farcical proportions, with the number of yellow cards and red cards flying around. The referee had huge problems controlling this match and the players were bent on taking full advantage of this. It looked like the players on both teams completely lost their heads for most of the game. Every single Portuguese player has a red or yellow card. The Netherlands not being far behind. In this match – 16 yellow cards and 4 red. The total of red cards for this World Cup Tournament: 23… an all time high. Number of goals: 1.

Looking for an example of how to play football professionally? Forget the entire 2nd half of this game. Just pretend you never even saw it.

England 1 Ecuador 0. The good news: England is through to the quarter final. They’ve done the job.

The bad news, the worrying news is that their game was still unconvincing, their performance lacklustre. In fact of the two teams, Ecuador put on the best performance with a defence that kept England at bay for all the first half. I find myself wondering “what if they hadn’t had that free-kick?” David Beckham’s goal from that free-kick saved England’s bacon and took them through to the quarter final.

By far one of the worst matches of this World Cup, but England is through and will meet the Dutch later in the week. England will have to ratchet up their performance if they want to stay in the contest.

Edit: I appear to be getting a little ahead of myself as far as who England is playing next. Let's see how good my early predictions turn out to be!

Edit: I was getting ahead of myself! It will be England v Portugal. 

My World Cup blogging has actually taken on a life of its own and surprised even me. I have always followed the World Cup because I’m interested in it, however blogging about the World Cup action is new for me. I started blogging about it to report on Team England’s progress. With the other great teams performances that simply had to be mentioned, it became an update on on other World Cup teams, their matches, the implications of the outcomes and their progress in general. I only blog about the matches I manage to catch, either live or via the Internet, or the matches that I consider key. Fitting these around my full work day has been an interesting feat.

World Cup matches have been played daily for the last 10 days, with more than one match a day so I like to add my updates and views on the day of the matches. This has meant I’ve added a World Cup post almost every day. It’s going to be interesting in two weeks, as I will be away in England. However, after the Round of 16 there will be gaps between matches played, so this may work to my advantage – as well as the 5 hour time difference!

Look out for my update on England v Ecuador – playing right now!

Germany 2 Sweden 0. Once Germany scored two goals in the first 12 minutes of the game it was pretty much over for Sweden. Germany gained confidence to add to determination and Sweden were outplayed. Germany will now face Argentina in the quarter finals next Friday. Should be something to watch.

Argentina 2 Mexico 1.  Argentina swaggered into this match as the champions elect, thinking it was going to be a stroll in the park. Someone forgot to tell Mexico that however and it was anything but. Mexico showed they were there for business and there were scary moments for some when they threatened what would have been the World Cup’s first big upset. At full time, Argentina was still only drawn at 1 goal with Mexico, and it was 8 minutes into extra time when Argentina scored the needed goal to go through. It’s bye bye to Mexico, but what a great show! They tested the Argentina team - this was no walk in the park. Two good teams playing very well.