Comments on: Childfree? But Women Are Programmed To Want Children… http://thebritgirl.com/2006/07/16/childfree-but-women-are-programmed-to-want-children/ The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:19:44 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2006/07/16/childfree-but-women-are-programmed-to-want-children/#comment-133 britgirl Sun, 15 Oct 2006 19:10:06 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=76#comment-133 @WW - thanks for your comments. "It’s nice to know that there are women out there that secretly or overtly loathe the idea". There are women that loathe the idea of having kids, certainly. But there are also those who, while they don't loathe the idea, simply choose not to have kids for a variety of reasons. "Like you, I don’t see many happy married women. I see a lot of frantic, exhausted, dissatisfied women". I didn't say I don't see many happily married women, certainly not in this post...I know several happily married women. However, with respect to working and bringing up children, and the examples I see around my focus is on women who struggle to frantically juggle work, career, relationships and raising kids, with or without external help, which leads to them always being in a state of total exhaustion. My point is that rather than jumping on the "I must have kids because women are programmed to" bandwagon, women should look do a bit more thinking about it.Most don't seem to at all. "We don’t insist that this element of humanity is beautiful as well..I mean come on! Childbirth, even when it is broadcast on TLC for everyone to see–even in the best of circumstances is pretty freaking gross". Yes. But society has somehow romanticised it. Now we are told that it is the most beautiful, wonderful and fulfilling experience we as women can ever have (and what's more, our husbands have to be there to share it,even though they'd probably be elsewhere, and that if we haven't had that experience, we're not real women.... And it seems that most people have readily bought into that clever campaign... "It really defies all my reasoning to want this for myself, but I fear that because I feel this way, even though I’m attractive, successful, smart, men won’t want anything to do with me b/c I don’t want to raise their future offspring". There are many men who don't want kids and want to meet like-minded women. They complain many women they meet/would like to date are in one of the stages of "baby fever" or looking for a father for young kids. The answer is simple - you just need to find one of those likeminded men and stop wasting time and thought on the ones that are only interesting producing heirs @WW - thanks for your comments.
“It’s nice to know that there are women out there that secretly or overtly loathe the idea”.
There are women that loathe the idea of having kids, certainly. But there are also those who, while they don’t loathe the idea, simply choose not to have kids for a variety of reasons.

“Like you, I don’t see many happy married women. I see a lot of frantic, exhausted, dissatisfied women”.

I didn’t say I don’t see many happily married women, certainly not in this post…I know several happily married women. However, with respect to working and bringing up children, and the examples I see around my focus is on women who struggle to frantically juggle work, career, relationships and raising kids, with or without external help, which leads to them always being in a state of total exhaustion. My point is that rather than jumping on the “I must have kids because women are programmed to” bandwagon, women should look do a bit more thinking about it.Most don’t seem to at all.

“We don’t insist that this element of humanity is beautiful as well..I mean come on! Childbirth, even when it is broadcast on TLC for everyone to see–even in the best of circumstances is pretty freaking gross”.
Yes. But society has somehow romanticised it. Now we are told that it is the most beautiful, wonderful and fulfilling experience we as women can ever have (and what’s more, our husbands have to be there to share it,even though they’d probably be elsewhere, and that if we haven’t had that experience, we’re not real women…. And it seems that most people have readily bought into that clever campaign…

“It really defies all my reasoning to want this for myself, but I fear that because I feel this way, even though I’m attractive, successful, smart, men won’t want anything to do with me b/c I don’t want to raise their future offspring”.

There are many men who don’t want kids and want to meet like-minded women. They complain many women they meet/would like to date are in one of the stages of “baby fever” or looking for a father for young kids.

The answer is simple - you just need to find one of those likeminded men and stop wasting time and thought on the ones that are only interesting producing heirs

]]> By: wowiewow http://thebritgirl.com/2006/07/16/childfree-but-women-are-programmed-to-want-children/#comment-134 wowiewow Sun, 15 Oct 2006 04:10:51 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=76#comment-134 I am thrilled at your article..As I get older, and being brought up "crazy catholic", people around me (close friends/family) operate around this assumption that I am not really serious about not wanting to get married or have children. It's nice to know that there are women out there that secretly or overtly loathe the idea. Like you, I don't see many happy married women. I see a lot of frantic, exhausted, dissatisfied women. I think what's more tragic is this category of 'ambivalent' women that you mention. Personally, I'm pretty grossed out by children and childbearing. I know it's natural, but you know, so are other less appreciated bodily functions, such as passing gas, puking, urinating, etc. We don't insist that this element of humanity is beautiful as well..I mean come on! Childbirth, even when it is broadcast on TLC for everyone to see--even in the best of circumstances is pretty freaking gross. And I think what bothers me the most about this notion that since I am a young viable woman that it is part of my internal psyche to want children and to rear them..I have no desire whatsoever. It really defies all my reasoning to want this for myself, but I fear that because I feel this way, even though I'm attractive, successful, smart, men won't want anything to do with me b/c I don't want to raise their future offspring. I feel that if a man wants to spread his seed so much, he should raise the kids himself. Even if my partner agreed to do this, and I agreed to work outside the home primarily, I would be dubbed selfish and a bad mother. Ah, so many conflicts arise with this lifestyle choice. I am thrilled at your article..As I get older, and being brought up “crazy catholic”, people around me (close friends/family) operate around this assumption that I am not really serious about not wanting to get married or have children. It’s nice to know that there are women out there that secretly or overtly loathe the idea. Like you, I don’t see many happy married women. I see a lot of frantic, exhausted, dissatisfied women. I think what’s more tragic is this category of ‘ambivalent’ women that you mention. Personally, I’m pretty grossed out by children and childbearing. I know it’s natural, but you know, so are other less appreciated bodily functions, such as passing gas, puking, urinating, etc. We don’t insist that this element of humanity is beautiful as well..I mean come on! Childbirth, even when it is broadcast on TLC for everyone to see–even in the best of circumstances is pretty freaking gross. And I think what bothers me the most about this notion that since I am a young viable woman that it is part of my internal psyche to want children and to rear them..I have no desire whatsoever. It really defies all my reasoning to want this for myself, but I fear that because I feel this way, even though I’m attractive, successful, smart, men won’t want anything to do with me b/c I don’t want to raise their future offspring. I feel that if a man wants to spread his seed so much, he should raise the kids himself. Even if my partner agreed to do this, and I agreed to work outside the home primarily, I would be dubbed selfish and a bad mother. Ah, so many conflicts arise with this lifestyle choice.

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