Call the Fashion Police!
There is something about summer that makes some throw any vestige of fashion sense to the (usually) non-existent wind. At no other time of the year is there so much that can be so wrong with clothes. Years past, I’ve shaken my head in wonder at the year’s line-up, firmly determining never to be caught dead in some of the offerings that abound. Lover of clothes? Yes.. Lover of all fashion on offer? Pass.. there are some things that are simply not me, I don’t care what the designers are saying. I’m choosy.
This summer’s contributions include cropped tops, hipsters, kaftans and (wait for it) ra-ra skirts! Ra-ra skits??! But often it’s not the clothes that are the problem, sometimes it’s the lack of them and what their absence reveals. Jiggly breasts, naked stomachs that may or may not be in their third trimester, yards of cellulite – and this is just the men. Welcome Summer! With a vengeance. I must have been somewhat out of the loop though, because I learnt a new term for a fashion faux-pas. Muffin top. I knew the faux-pas, just not that there’s an expression out there for it. Those of you who, unlike me, have been plugged in, will of course know that Muffin top is the spillage between crop top and hipsters that looks like… yep, a muffin. Then we have bingo wings (bat-like wings at the top of some arms, usually accompanied by underarm cleavage). Underarm cleavage, which, unlike breast cleavage is Not A Good Thing. We have cankles (swollen ankles made worse because they’re crammed into sandals that tie round the feet and legs). No doubt cutting off the blood supply. And let’s not forget the camel toe (clue: usually caused by overly snug trousers/pants). I’m sure that much information really wasn’t meant to be shared with the world at large…
There is some great stuff around. But you do have to pick your moments – and the clothes that bring out your best. It may look good on Kate Moss but will it deliver the goods for you? A bikini top and sarong are not a light summer suit, and belong, along with plastic flip-flops, on the beach. Not in the office. How people are able wear flip-flops on concrete pavements (sidewalks) puzzles me. Don’t they kill their feet? They don’t look comfortable. They turn feet manky and dirty in no time. But flip-flops are “in”. Everybody’s wearing them.
Loose linen trousers must surely be more cool than squeezing into the latest microscopic skirt or tightest hot pants.Cotton tops and Kaftans are great for keeping cool. – and more flattering than hot shiny sweaty tubes. Muffin top is not a good look (easily rectified by investing in some longer tee-shirts). Plastic bra straps – are obvious. And guys, white socks and dark shoes (whether or not you are wearing shorts) any type of sock with sandals, cut-off jeans with no underwear, bare chests in town, golf clothing not on the golf course… fashion statement maybe – but probably not the one you want to be making.
Ah Summer!
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where i live, it’s summer all year round, but we’re still pretty covered up because the air-cond can be really cold in classes or offices. the biggest fashion faux pas here, in my opinion, is the lack of care people take to ensure they do not display their butt cracks or underwear. and not branded ones at that. not that i want to look at branded underwear, but the non-branded kinds are more sore to the eyes than the branded ones, if you get what i mean. or those who take such care not to show their underwear but inadvertently display their butt cracks – eeep! vpl is something i cannot stand as well – if you hate g-strings, there’s always boy-leg underwear.
You know what I miss is not being able to wear midriff bearing tops anymore. When I was 125 pounds, that was part of my uniform during the summer months. I didn’t wear them in a sleazy, bear-it-all way like Britney Spears, but I looked good in them. Ah, if only I had a flat stomach again. . .
Yes, we have a heatwave in Montreal too. I hope it ends soon, my Frenchie is having a hard time with the heat.
Other than that, air con is on most of the time. It has been raining but not enough to relieve the pressure.
@ sulz – Ah, yes the butt crack shows – gross, underwear showing in same region – even more gross. Ugh And as for vpl.. in my opinion there no excuse for it.There are so many options that it’s unbelievable we still see vpl. Jockey ™ even makes very nice underwear in both boy shorts AND with invisible panty line, if people don’t like thongs. Wonder – do people never do that last check in the mirror before they leave their homes?
@H – Imagine the determined fashion follower, looking at a cute midriff baring top, thinking the same thoughts you did… and deciding “yeah this is just right – think I’ll wear it t”..;-)
I laughed and laughed at the muffin top (I’d never heard this perfect decription beore) and the bingo wings (we call them bat wings on the coast). Also I agree with sulz – all butt cracks need coverings. The worst offenders of this unwritten rule I’ve ever seen have been American tourist (both men and women) tourists in bars – yucko!
I’m a clothes horse type who loves to wear dresses and skirts all summer long. I love the feel of bare legs and swishing fabric. The weather here has been extraordinarily hot up until the last week and during the worst part of the heat wave I wore a lot of loose fitting and flowing natural fiber dresses and skirts. When I wasn’t wearing dresses and skirts which promoted air circulation in a way that shorts and pants simply can’t do I wore sarongs and sleeveless t-shirts (I don’t have bat wings).
Comfort is an important aspect for me. But being appropriate is number one and some of the outfits I have seen this summer being worn by folks working in offices made me catch my breath and cough. Perhaps the heat addles the brain tissue in some folks and what they really need to wear is hats.
Hats keep the head cool, the eyes shaded and the skin from turning to leather. They come in all kinds of fetching styles and colours. But what did I see? The majority of tourists on the beaches and on the golf course were bareheaded and many were bald pated men with sunburns.
@TT Yes… Muffin top. I couldn’t stop laughing myself. It’s such a perfect description. Priceless.
In England we call butt cracks showing over top of jeans or similar attire “builder’s bum”. As in builders on a construction site whose jeans ..er display their butt cracks.They don’t seem to be able to pull them up either. One of the worst fashion no-nos IMO is the unsightly bra strap display (also Not A Good Thing)… hello? strapless anyone?
yes! i abhor seeing straps on strapless or off-the-shoulders tops. it just spoils the whole look. and the worst part is that some think bra-strap displaying is so fashionable that they buy those ghastly patterned bra straps, or in a sad attempt to try not to show their straps by buying transparent bra straps.
!!!
I wonder if they realise just how tarty the “show bra strap” look is. And as for transparent bra straps – they are so much more obvious, they almot shout at you “notice me!”
Um! I believe that you all are being extremely
critical of other peoples’ choices to present themselves the way they want. Fashion is meant
to be individual as well as practical. EAse up a bit.
Thanks
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