Strollers! Ban Them! Ban Them All!
4 08 2006Picture this.
You are dining out at your favourite restaurant. Some time later, as one does, you feel you need to use the facilities. As you head towards them suddenly you find that you have to try and navigate around a large obstacle blocking the already narrow path between the cosily arranged tables and patrons.
You see that the obstacle is a stroller. Strollers come in many shapes, but only one size. Large. This one is pretty large. Too large for the space it somehow managed to get into. Too large for the whole restaurant in fact. You glance at the owner (no, not the occupant who coos up at you), the grown up. You are, since by now she has seen you coming, expecting her to remove said stroller from your path. So that you can go and do your business and get back to your seat. She smiles at her child and then at you with that “isn’t he/she cute” look. You think “maybe, but do I care? Lady, the universe does not revolve around you. Or your child. And I have to go”.
Politely, though with some exasperation you say “excuse me please, would you mind moving the stroller, I need to get by”. Even though this is patently obvious, you think, and why the hell should you have to ask anyway? Stroller owner rather grudgingly “attempts” to move the offending stroller. Of course, since there was barely room for it in the first place, there is really nowhere to actually move it to. You wait, while she makes what you feel are ineffective shifts of stroller and see it is going no-where.
In danger now of hopping from foot to foot so as to maintain your dignity (and reach the loo before it is too late) you realise there is nothing for it, you are going to have to squeeze past the offending obstacle to access said facilities. Time is of the essence. So to speak. Part of you wants to grab the bloody stroller and forcefully move it somewhere else, preferably out of the establishment. But even if you indulged this particular fantasy, the fact that stroller is on this occasion full of small but solid gurgling occupant would only mean you’d probably be accused of kidnap and God knows what else.
Muttering under your breath “bloody strollers” you manage to contort yourself enough to get where you need to in a hurry. Good thing you’re slim you think. You glare at the mother,who is seemingly oblivious to the fact that she’s causing an obstruction and inconvenience. When confronted with a stroller in your path, you just cannot win.
So here are my rules for large immovable objects on wheels a.k.a strollers:
Rule One: Restaurants: Ban strollers.
Rule Two: Place permanent and large sign on restaurant door as gentle reminder: “No strollers allowed!” Translate into as many languages as possible. And don’t let ‘em past the threshold.
Dear stroller owners who persist in pushing your stroller into places you know they won’t fit but hope that they will, we are aware you think your child is cute and wonderful and that the universe revolves around you, sorry it really doesn’t. Those of us without kids could care less about yours, particularly when you are thoughtlessly inconveniencing us with your enormous stroller.
And those of us with kids already know ours are more wonderful and far more highly evolved than yours.
IMO the trend towards having to put up with children and their behaviours everywhere became “trendy” when having babies on the hinge of menopause also became the in thing to do. These last gasp parents are often so overwhelmed by their new role that they fail to act in sensible ways and often take overtired children to places they shouldn’t be in the first instance.
My beloved and I do not frequently go out to eat and when we do it’s an occasion that we intend to thoroughly enjoy in an adult environment, so we make reservations. Having had to cope with strollers, crying infants and worst of all toddlers who are allowed to run around squealing, grabbing at my knees and clothing in the past, I developed a new habit two years ago after a particularly distressing dining experience where my white silk skirt was ruined by a tomato handed toddler after his presumed bedtime at 8:30 PM. In fact we had to return home so I could change prior to going to the party we had planned to attend. (Note that I insisted the parents divy up for the dry cleaning the tomato sauce out of the skirt right on the spot.)
When making a reservation now I ask the party doing the booking if baby strollers, toddlers, and young children are allowed in the restaurant at the supper hour. If so then I make my booking at another restaurant and I take the time to tell them why I am not making a reservation with their establishment.
GOB save us all from spending a bundle to have yet another dinner ruined by delayed breeders and their poorly parented cling-on offspring.
You are just so spot on here. It completely spoils what should be a wonderful time when you dine out, only to have a baby or toddler (often after 9pm!) screaming their head off. And what’s even worse is the parents attitude, they seem to ignore the disturbance until people turn round and pointedly show their annoyance. As my beloved says, if you can’t pay for a sitter, stay home. That’s the price you pay for having kids and you should be willing to pay it instead of inconveniencing others who just want to enjoy thier evening.
And great idea about asking in advance about the strollers, toddlers and young children at that hour.
BTW - did the parents offer to pay for the damage to your blouse? Or did you have to initiate??
It was a white silk skirt and no they did not offer. I took the little dear by the msessy hand back to the parents. Then I said to them quite loudly with the witress looking nervaous and the 2 couples ate the next table listening intently : “Oh dear me, now this won’t do will it? Mommy and daddy will be giving the lady $10 for drycleaning,” and stuck out my hand. Papa reached into his wallet under strong eye contact from myself and my partner and paid me. What a way to spoil a romantic interlude a little kid grabbing your brand new skirt with spagetti hands can be.
May I just say, as a stroller owner times three, and if I can be permitted to speak for all of us, as you have spoken for your entire race of non-stroller owners, we hate them, too. We hate how big and bulky they are, and the degree it takes to figure out how every brand of them folds or collapses or bends to be more inobtrusive, though there really is no way they can be.
Personally, I don’t get out much. Literally. But I have to say that when I do, it is truly inconvenient just how many places do not accommodate strollers–or parents. I stumbled on this blog, but I’m interested to find out you live in Toronto. So do I. Next time you’re on the subway or a streetcar or especially a bus, ask yourself: If I did, through some miscalculation of birth control or some other act of God, happen to be saddled with an infant, just where, oh where, would I put a stroller?
I was recently at the library while pregnant, before my last little one arrived four weeks ago, with my other two children. The librarian said something nice about how people must show me deference because of my condition. Frankly, the opposite is true. It seems that people of your stripe genuinely hate those of mine. Is it that they do not think we are contributing enough to the general control of population? I’m not sure. With my first child, people were somewhat considerate to me in public places. Now, they’ve lost all their charm. (And my kids, if I may speak on their behalf, are pretty well behaved as preschoolers go.)
Excuse me for having some children, already!
@Anonymous - First thanks for your comment. You will need to point out to me where I said strollers should not be allowed on streetcars or subways or any other kind of transit. If you read my post I was talking about restaurants, where I do not want to be inconvenienced by them. Keeping to the point in question would help.. Strollers abound on the transit and quite frankly there too they usually block seats and the entrances. That was not the issue.
For the record if someone with a stroller is struggling to get on or off the transit with one and I am near I help them, that’s because it’s common courtesy to help someone who is having difficulty struggling with a stroller or heavy shopping. Other people do so as well, probably for the same reason. But that is beside the point.
You are suggesting that I (or, as you put it “people of my stripe”) should show you deference - why? because you’ve two children and another on the way? Because you were pregnant?
To suppose that those of us who are non-parents hate parents, or their children is simply another widely held and very convenient misconception held by parents. That way they don’t even have to examine their preconceptions. We don’t hate parents. Being childfree isn’t about hating children either.
We are, however no longer willing to swallow any more the pro-natalist agenda (supoorted by many parents) that dictates, among other things that pro-creation is the ultimate aspiration for us all, and that those of us who choose not to be parents are somehow odd or less worthy than those who do. We’re not prepared to bow at the supposed altar of parenthood any longer, and we do reserve the right to speak out about the many misconceptions and assumptions that parents have about people who choose not to parent. And the inconveniences we frequently have to put up with.
If that makes you feel as if we hate you, the problem, like the stroller, is yours not ours.
@ Britgirl
Thanks for your clear response. I have never “hated” anyone who chooses to be a breeder in an over-populated world. I have always respected their right to choice. I have always helped women and men pushing srollers and buggies into revolving doors, elevators, buses, subways, etc. However, when I am going out for an evening meal in a restaurant (and as you pointed out this was the topic) I do not expect to encounter strollers or toddlers running to and fro. I do not expect my romantic interlude to be rudely interupted by a child screeching for attention or wiping grubby hands on my skirt. I do not expect to have to negotiate an obstacle like a stroller on the way to the washroom (which is not to mention the possibilities of a fire).
Like britgirl I do not worship at the altar of baby manufacturing. I came from a large family and raised my younger brothers and sister for my exhausted and continuously pregnant mother who had no effective means of birth control.
Breeding is not special any rabbit can do it. Thus I do not feel I owe any degree of tolerance to folks who bring their strollers into restauranst at night. I wish to eat in peace and quiet in stroller free restaurants during the evening hours. Therefore I expect parents to respect the fact that I am paying for this and to hire a babysitter if they wish to eat in a restaurant too.