Childfree? You Just Don’t Like Parents (Part II)
5 11 2006It’s not that the childfree don’t like the childed. We’re just so underwhelmed by the stuff they seem to think it’s OK for their kids to do. And that we end up having to put up with because many times it seems that parents make no effort to encourage their kids to behave otherwise. I especially have to shake my head in wonder because when I was growing up I can safely say half the crap I see children doing today (with what looks like the full blessing of their parents) I could never have done. Kids make noise, get bored easily, run around. We know that. But is it so hard for childed people to realize that not everyone is happy to have their peace and quiet shattered just because others decided to have kids? Seems to be.
So here is my list of things of top irritants about the childed and what I find are the more annoying aspects of their offspring they inflict on me as I go about my daily life. I’m sure others will have some of their own to add to the list.
Bringing their kids to late night or non-child movies and making no effort to control them when they run around the theatre. Or make no effort to stop them kicking the back of my seat. I am trying to enjoy a film. I have paid my money for the experience. Chances are the children are too young for the film anyway, so why are they there? If you want to enjoy a night at the movies, get a baby sitter. Otherwise that’s the price you pay for having kids – no more late nights at the movies.
Bringing their young children to restaurants after 8.00 when I’m out for a quiet meal and sitting there while their off-spring either run around the restaurant or scream their lungs out. Patrons are trying to enjoy a quiet meal. That idea is scuttled with a screaming or bored kid in the vicinity. It’s very simple. As above, pay for a baby sitter or stay home and let others enjoy their evening as they had planned.
Bringing their massive strollers into places where it’s plain they don’t fit. Particularly into restaurants, but anywhere I have to clamber over or around them. I’ve blogged about this one before. It’s called strollers.
Allowing their offspring to run around screaming and yelling in places where they shouldn’t be doing this. Shopping centers and malls are not the place to let little Joey let loose and work off his energy. I don’t blame the kids as much as the parents, who seemingly make no effort to encourage them to be quiet.
In every single conversation, bringing it around to their kids. And keeping it there. Endlessly.
Bringing their kids to work (other than for properly organized activities, such as Take Our Kids To Work day) and allow their kids to disrupt the workplace
Parents who let their kids disrespect them, particularly in public. This one is something else, but it still can only happen with parents permission. Mine never gave me theirs. Here’s a story to illustrate where I saw this in action. I’ve never forgotten it:
I was doing my weekly shop at the supermarket, several years ago, and standing in the queue at the checkout. Just behind me was a mother and her daughter. The daughter was around eight years old and was whining persistently for her mother to buy her something. Mum, who already looked fed up with all this, kept saying no. Whiny child kept persisting. Mum said (or tried to say) something conciliatory to her daughter and the daughter, obviously annoyed she hadn’t got what she had wanted replied loudly “ Oh, just SHUT UP Mum!”
My mouth dropped open. I waited for mother to tick her daughter off for such rudeness or at least say something. For me, talking that way to your parents was unheard of. Instead the mother just smiled rather apologetically at me. WTF?! I wasn’t sure whether it was the child’s rudeness or because the mother simply let the rudeness go - and smiled at me. Before I could stop myself I said to the daughter “Don’t talk to your mother like that!”
I half expected the child to turn round and tell me to shut it, (oops, maybe should have said nothing, but it was too late) but instead she looked rather shamefaced and said nothing more. The mother on the other hand immediately turned to her daughter and said to her sternly “Yes, don’t talk to me like that!”
Yeah, right. Totally convincing. I gave her a look that spoke volumes. Her daughter was just doing what she’s used to doing. Some would say it’s different now and that I should have said nothing because children can say anything they like to anyone to anyone they please (shudder), but it wasn’t really that long ago. Still, I think if that happened today I’d be less inclined to say anything, and just leave them to it.
Discipline seems to be a dirty word.
I know exactly what you mean for item 1. Why oh why do parents take children to movies they are not old enough to appreciate? And why don’t parental units recognize the signs? When children starting talking through movies it because they are bored. When their attention starts to wander it’s because they are bored. And for goodness sake don’t boost their energy levels by overdosing them on candy and soda!
Most UK movie theatres now have a ‘gallery’ section at the back where you can have more comfortable seats for a premium. Why can’t we also have a parent and child zone at the front with an aisle worth of gap to separate the two sections. We have parent and child parking at supermarkets for their convenience, so in other public places how about also taking into consideration the needs of non-parents?
When I was at school, my friends and I were not allowed to stay out after 9pm. I see kids wandering the streets in my town as late as midnight. And even if they are just walking home home from a friends house, why are they walking late at night? Parents can be so naive about what children get up to, I guess because most parents look at their offspring and see nothing but little angels.
I like children, I do, really. I don’t think it’s much to ask of parents to control their kids in public.
I like your new home. Been following your blog for a bit now, and I liked it enough to add it to my own blogroll. Keep up the good work!
–Chris W.
@Chris W - thanks very much!
Correction: I apologize… I thought I had added you before. You are added to the blogroll for sure now. You’re very much welcome! My wife and I are of the childfree crowd, and your writing is a breath of fresh air to us, while also demonstrating a good balancing of both views.
So many times, I have to shake my head at the irresponsibility of some parents, especially in a retail environment where I work. I usually have some good stories to tell the wife when she gets home!
Thanks for the sig, too!
I, too, hate seeing kids at movies they don’t belong, and I partially blame the movie theaters for the discounted movie tickets for kids. If they want to offer discounted movie tickets for kids, offer them ONLY for G movies. If parents want to take their 4 year old to a violent, R rated movie, they should have to pay a full price ticket for the 4yo.
I went to a PG-13 movie and the couple in front of us had twin 2-year-olds. They made sure the kids were free before asking for their tickets, because they were too cheap to pay for seats for their kids. If they charged for kids to get into movies, I think you’d see less kids in the theater. Parents would pout, but then wait for the DVD to come out. (For the record, the twins were quiet through the whole movie, amazingly).
I saw a stroller recently in a grocery store — the woman pushed her stroller and the grocery cart both. And she struggled with it and was blocking all the aisles. UG! Hello, you can put your child in the grocery cart — that’s what the child seat is for!! I hate strollers with a passion. I wish they were banned from any indoor public place. I’m not too keen on them outdoors, but I’ll tolerate them.
I think its more a fact of the childless not UNDERSTANDING those with children. I do agree with the restaurant/cinema thing totally. The ‘running around screaming’ thing however, well, have you ever tried to control the uncontrollable? Children have boundless energy, they cannot be made to sit still or behave on some occasions, and no amount of shouting/bribery will help (and I refuse to hit babies, thank you very much). Also, the stroller thing - I for one have no choice but to take it everywhere with me, including the supermarket, as I have no alternative transport.
Not sure why I am attempting to make sense of this, as if you have no children it is impossible to understand. I can remember a time when I was childless, and I also found the above annoying! Now I have every sympathy for many of these people…
@Caroline - Thanks for commenting. From what I know, I think that childfree people understand far more about parents than parents tend to do about the childfree. But maybe those are just the childfree people that I know.
I understand children having boundless energy, however children having boundless energy is very different from children being wild, unruly and undisciplined, running around screaming and making a nuisance of themselves where they shouldn’t. They want to do it in their homes? Fine. But in public places, or places where everyone else is entitled not to have to endure their chaos? You’re right, I have zero sympathy there. If parents are unable to control their kids, they have a big problem. But it is THEIR problem. I personally (and childfree people generally) don’t see why we should be inflicted with their uncontrollable kids - seeing that we have chosen not to have any ourselves. I have never been childless. But I’ve always been childfree.