Childfree? What Will You Do At Christmas?
12 12 2006Christmas is just around the corner, and it’s no secret that I just love it. The sounds, the smells, the decorations, the Christmas tree, the fun of buying presents, sending greetings and curbing my curiosity as I eye the deliciously wrapped presents under my tree – which I’m under strict orders not to investigate until Christmas Day. People rushing home doing last minute Christmas shopping, and yes, even the Christmas music (although have to admit that does get boring pretty quickly).
Christmas is a fun, yet relaxing time in our household. Because we are childfree, we can, and do, choose how we want to spend it. With my family living in England, as much as it would be nice to visit them at Christmas, the travel expense at this time of year and the thought of the travel insanity at the airports is enough to make us unenthusiastic about that particular endeavour. We don’t have kids, so we are able to travel in the “off” seasons – when it’s a lot calmer (if calm is a word you can use to describe any part of an airport) and a lot cheaper. We visit my husband’s family just before Christmas and have friends round or go out in between Christmas and New Year.
Meaning that we’re completely at liberty to have some great (and much needed) Rest and Relaxation and really enjoy the season.
More often than not, when speaking with childed people ( particularly those who don’t know us that well) about Christmas, or the Holidays I find they tend to do two key things:
1. Describe Christmas almost entirely with reference to their kids:
“the kids will do this at Christmas, we’re doing this with the kids, we’re doing this with the other kids we’re getting this for the kids… the kids, the kids, the kids ending with “Well Christmas is about children isn’t it? Have you got kids?”
2. Ask the question “So what are you doing for Christmas” and by their looks and tone manage imply that somehow I am missing out on “What Christmas Is All About” because I don’t have a couple of kids in tow. When I say that we’re planning on having a really good time, I can see they find that hard to believe.
Not that I really care, it’s just irksome that yet again, my lifestyle choice is judged as being “not as good/real as.” Simply because I don’t have kids. And by their reasoning I’m probably having a miserable, sad, lonely Christmas.
Of course, that’s total baloney. Couldn’t be further from the truth.
Personally, I am quite glad that I do not have to tolerate bored and/or screaming kids over the Christmas period. Not a one. I don’t mind older children, but even they get bored, and have to be kept entertained. I’m happy that I don’t have to worry about getting the latest (and usually the most expensive) toy, game or whatever the latest kid fad is on the market, because if I don’t my child might end up dysfunctional and scarred for life. Even though they’ll probably be bored with whatever presents they get with, let’s say 15 minutes of opening them. O.K. Maybe 20.
I’m over the moon I am neither obliged to attend nor host children’s Christmas parties with even more screaming brats… or wait in line while other kids (who of course I’m thinking could not possibly as as deserving as mine) because I just have to take the kids to Santa’s grotto. I’m looking forward to spending some down-time without responsibilities for the short holiday period. When some of my colleagues tell me of their impending Christmas “chores” that some people describe (granted, not all to do with kids, but mostly) and I find myself wondering why they don’t simply opt to stay at work during the holidays – seems like it would be a far more restful option.
Now, I am sure people with kids simply love doing all the wonderful things they do. And maybe for them Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without the kids as reference points. Childfree people acknowledge that. But, it isn’t necessarily the same for everyone, and it’s time the childed started to remember that, instead of blithely assuming that because I don’t have kids that somehow my Christmas is any less happy than theirs. It’s an ill-informed assumption at best even if it is based on the societal mantra that everything has to revolve around kids to be normal. And as usual it’s rooted in ignorance.
So, when I, as a childfree person am asked how I’m spending Christmas this year, my answer will be the same as always.
Quietly, contentedly and peacefully. Exactly the way we want it to be.
Merry Christmas, Seasons’ Greetings and Happy Holidays!
Flying to So CA to see my family. Funny, the only thing I am the least excited about is seeing my nieces, aged 3 and 5. Very sweet girls and actually well behaved…except the family gathering Christmas Eve will consist of 45 people (yep, ALL FAMILY) in a very small house with lots of presents and excitement. The girls usually melt-down about 8 pm. It’s to be expected so I just grin seeing as I don’t get to see my family but once every couple of years.
Other than that, just coming and going on my own schedule, visiting family and friends while I am there.
OH, and going to In-N-Out Burger every chance I get.
ps- had to add this note.
Went out on a date the other night with a guy I had known very casually for awhile. As we were taking our seats (we were at a basketball game) he asked me ‘do you like kids’ meaning did I want him to sit next to the family with 3 kids or did I want to?
I replied…sure I like kids…they’re great with BBQ sauce..and the look on his face was priceless. He sat down (next to the kids) then leaned over to whisper “I agree…I can’t stand them either’.
@Kath - Wow - 45 people! That’s a lot of family. Have a good one! And I wish I could have seen the look on his face… lol. Thanks for sharing, very funny
Absolutely!
I love Christmas. From about the 20th December (and sometimes sooner) my mental age reverts to around 6 years! I don’t need to be around children to make my Christmas complete.
I love buying and wrapping presents, decorating the tree whilst eating mince pies, writing little notes in our Christmas cards whilst eating mince pies, watching all the cheesy and not so cheesy Christmas programs on TV whilst eating mince pies! ;o) But the best thing - pottering around the kitchen on Christmas morning with a glass of bucks fizz, preparing Christmas lunch. Then afterwards chilling out with my hubby in peace. Bliss.
I will be spending the day warm and toasty in a pleasant light alcoholic fog, watching Christmas movies, playing with new toys — and spending the day with my darling wife.
Christmas - comes about way too quickly each year. You spend a fortune and its over in seconds… suppose that applies to alot in life..ha ha ha.
I`ll be at my Mums, good old mum, and then doing the rounds getting slowly drunk as friends and their parents force alcohol on me, well not force exactly.
Merry Christmas to all, and for those who dont celebrate it - enjoy a break from work if poss?
Lee
@Rhea - I hear ya!
@Lee - Merry Christmas
@HTH - Enjoy!
My hubby and I do not have any plans for the holidaze (yet?).
My hubby could care less about celebrating any holiday but I still get a nostalgic to something.
We’ve travelled, visited friends/family around that time of year. But I want to do something. Either a tradition or an activity - just something other than watching movies or sports allday. Any ideas?
Just read this one now!
Being childfree at Christmas and with family on the other side of the world is a blast for me because there’s more options! I CAN have the big family Christmas but I don’t HAVE to.
Here’s what I’ve done so far: Visited family friends. Spent Christmas day in a luxurious restaurant with friends eating a lovely Christmas meal. Christmas in Vegas, checking out the decor, going to a buffet at Stardust etc. Christmas in Salzburg with hubby. Special dinner. Enjoying the decorations when we were out and about. Going up the funicular to see the “fortress” of Salzburg on Christmas day. Also Christmas for one at home. Hubby in Egypt with HIS family (last Christmas) and I could have gone but didn’t fancy it. Plus I work with people, wanted some alone time. So had Christmas with yummy food I’d bought from the supermarket, sleeping in and lots of TV, surfing the net and just little old me. LOVELY! Also sometimes it’s been Christmas for two with a home cooked turkey and then going away later - e.g. for New Years. For example, I went to Belgium one New Year’s and Lapland the next with reindeer, huskies but very few kids and also checking out the architecture of funky Helsinki! Some future possible Christmas ideas I’d like to try include: A more traditional Christmas in Germany, Christmas in Dubai, Christmas in Egypt, maybe a cruise down to Nile! I have two friends who like to work through Christmas and enjoy the extra money they are paid for overtime! “Childfree? What Will You Do At Christmas?” Answer: Whatever the hell I want!!