Comments on: Childfree…Regrets And Second Guessing? http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/ The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Thu, 09 Feb 2012 22:30:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: marmaduke http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-18925 marmaduke Mon, 28 Mar 2011 01:45:33 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-18925 I think it is funny people telling me that not having children is selfish when infact people have children for selfish reasons, like looking after then when they are older or having a family. I think having children is a thankless job, hard work and I understand that it may teach you unconditional love, but perhaps we can just practise that in our every day lives anyway. For me I am not fussed, I think that havingchildren is giving some one the gift of life, involves a lot of sacrafice and there are no gaurantees. What would be worse is having a child because you may regret it later only for them to pass away or commit suicide. I don't think we can plan life and it is so tiresom that we have to justify all our decisions and analyse them, we are all living on a different paths, so lets embrace our choices and enjoy the variety of decsions we can make today if we decide to be child free, not to mention all the extra money you will save which you can enjoy on hooldiays and clothes. Why have children when you can have a career and adult friends? I think it is funny people telling me that not having children is selfish when infact people have children for selfish reasons, like looking after then when they are older or having a family.

I think having children is a thankless job, hard work and I understand that it may teach you unconditional love, but perhaps we can just practise that in our every day lives anyway.

For me I am not fussed, I think that havingchildren is giving some one the gift of life, involves a lot of sacrafice and there are no gaurantees. What would be worse is having a child because you may regret it later only for them to pass away or commit suicide.

I don’t think we can plan life and it is so tiresom that we have to justify all our decisions and analyse them, we are all living on a different paths, so lets embrace our choices and enjoy the variety of decsions we can make today if we decide to be child free, not to mention all the extra money you will save which you can enjoy on hooldiays and clothes. Why have children when you can have a career and adult friends?

]]> By: Rhea http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-696 Rhea Wed, 03 Jan 2007 18:44:23 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-696 A very insightful and well written post. I have to agree with RMS. I stumbled upon a Super Nanny programme and I watched with a mixture of shock over the behaviour of the kids and the actions of the parents; admiration for the incredible patience of the nanny (who was screamed at, bitten and hit) and relief that I will never be in that situation :) A very insightful and well written post.

I have to agree with RMS. I stumbled upon a Super Nanny programme and I watched with a mixture of shock over the behaviour of the kids and the actions of the parents; admiration for the incredible patience of the nanny (who was screamed at, bitten and hit) and relief that I will never be in that situation :)

]]> By: RMS http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-695 RMS Wed, 03 Jan 2007 17:09:19 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-695 Fortunately I've never regretted my decision to be childfree, although I've definitely heard the line about "you'll be sorry." Now I make the joke to childed people about them being sorry! Ha! As someone else pointed out, our choices are all ours and no one else's to worry about. Another antidote for potential wondering: watch Nanny 911! I feel real gratitude for my peace every time! Fortunately I’ve never regretted my decision to be childfree, although I’ve definitely heard the line about “you’ll be sorry.” Now I make the joke to childed people about them being sorry! Ha! As someone else pointed out, our choices are all ours and no one else’s to worry about.

Another antidote for potential wondering: watch Nanny 911! I feel real gratitude for my peace every time!

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-694 Britgirl Wed, 03 Jan 2007 16:55:27 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-694 @mercurior - well, at least you are thinking of who you might give your stuff to :) @Hillari - exactly right, which is why it is so strange that those trying to convince childfree people to have babies conveniently forget this important truth. @Joy - there are some people who really should never have had kids at all. If only they had given even a little more thought to it, perhaps we'd have less children who are badly treated by their parents. Sadly, you will often find that these same bad parents are some of the fiercest critics of childfree people. @mercurior – well, at least you are thinking of who you might give your stuff to :)
@Hillari – exactly right, which is why it is so strange that those trying to convince childfree people to have babies conveniently forget this important truth.
@Joy – there are some people who really should never have had kids at all. If only they had given even a little more thought to it, perhaps we’d have less children who are badly treated by their parents. Sadly, you will often find that these same bad parents are some of the fiercest critics of childfree people.

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-692 mercurior Wed, 03 Jan 2007 09:56:24 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-692 whether to have kids is a very personal choice, i have my reasons, which arent even the same as my fiancee, my life happened and it led me to this decision, if i had known i wasnt alone i would have become officially childfree, i thought i was a freak, but my fiancee told me she didnt want kids, i read and i saw and i realised i was one of them.. if i hadnt of realised, then chances would be i would have a kid, and that kid would be resented by me and it wouldnt have a nice life at all. until someone lives your life 100%, they cant make you change your mind or decision. and they shouldnt. i know more about me, than anyone else, to say i will change my mind, its saying you are better at knowing me than me.. but its all a choice we have to make, and we have to have the information to choose, i know people who hate their kids and have abused them, they were pressured into having kids.. should these people have been told it was ok to not have kids it would have saved so much pain and problems.. whether to have kids is a very personal choice, i have my reasons, which arent even the same as my fiancee, my life happened and it led me to this decision, if i had known i wasnt alone i would have become officially childfree, i thought i was a freak, but my fiancee told me she didnt want kids, i read and i saw and i realised i was one of them.. if i hadnt of realised, then chances would be i would have a kid, and that kid would be resented by me and it wouldnt have a nice life at all. until someone lives your life 100%, they cant make you change your mind or decision. and they shouldnt.

i know more about me, than anyone else, to say i will change my mind, its saying you are better at knowing me than me.. but its all a choice we have to make, and we have to have the information to choose, i know people who hate their kids and have abused them, they were pressured into having kids.. should these people have been told it was ok to not have kids it would have saved so much pain and problems..

]]> By: Joy http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-690 Joy Wed, 03 Jan 2007 08:05:31 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-690 I'm glad my parents had me, but I see a lot of my friends suffering from treatment from their own parents... I'm glad they're alive, too, because I care about them, but sometimes I wonder why some people have children... :( I’m glad my parents had me, but I see a lot of my friends suffering from treatment from their own parents… I’m glad they’re alive, too, because I care about them, but sometimes I wonder why some people have children… :(

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-689 mercurior Tue, 02 Jan 2007 22:48:23 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-689 shouldnt we be accepting of their choices, the childfree, i havent lived your life and you havent lived mine, my choices are just that my choices. to deny someone the idea that childfreedom is a choice they can make, should be against the rights and responsibilities of the individual. there are many reasons to be cf, a lot of them are personal choices, does that mean we should all have kids even though those kids would be in danger, medically from our being "forced" to have unwanted kids. and why does it scare you that people are choosing not to have kids, are you jealous of them, they have the freedoms you lack, give everyone a choice of the life that suits them, or deny everyone the choice to choose. which do you want. i dont want kids, if someone doesnt want kids then thats fine for them.. i have no reason to change what they want to do, i am not one to deny them their life. it has no connection to how "I" live my life. why should it be different for parents.. do they have greater intelligence because they have had a kid, or are they morally superior. no.. they are just like us and those chose their life, and they should by their decision. shouldnt we be accepting of their choices, the childfree, i havent lived your life and you havent lived mine, my choices are just that my choices.

to deny someone the idea that childfreedom is a choice they can make, should be against the rights and responsibilities of the individual.

there are many reasons to be cf, a lot of them are personal choices, does that mean we should all have kids even though those kids would be in danger, medically from our being “forced” to have unwanted kids.

and why does it scare you that people are choosing not to have kids, are you jealous of them, they have the freedoms you lack, give everyone a choice of the life that suits them, or deny everyone the choice to choose.

which do you want.

i dont want kids, if someone doesnt want kids then thats fine for them.. i have no reason to change what they want to do, i am not one to deny them their life. it has no connection to how “I” live my life. why should it be different for parents.. do they have greater intelligence because they have had a kid, or are they morally superior. no.. they are just like us and those chose their life, and they should by their decision.

]]> By: Hillari http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-688 Hillari Tue, 02 Jan 2007 22:16:57 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-688 The people who are constantly encouraging CF'ers seem to live in a dream world. What child is trouble-free? Parents aren't guaranteed that they always receive unconditional love from their kids. They can't assume the kids will look after them when they are old. Nor can they assume the kids will outlive them. My parents buried three of theirs. The people who are constantly encouraging CF’ers seem to live in a dream world. What child is trouble-free? Parents aren’t guaranteed that they always receive unconditional love from their kids. They can’t assume the kids will look after them when they are old. Nor can they assume the kids will outlive them. My parents buried three of theirs.

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/comment-page-1/#comment-687 mercurior Tue, 02 Jan 2007 20:11:58 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/01/02/childfreeregrets-and-second-guessing/#comment-687 the only regret i have, and this is a minor one, is who will we leave our stuff too, hopefully we will find a young cf couple, and leave it to them.. my brother is cf, he is long term ill, and he hasnt got many people but me and my love. he is 13 years older than me, then theres mum.. my love has no other family or they are older. thats the only thing, but its not going to make me want kids, i am too lazy, i like my down times, i like my freedom to come in after a night drinking, to not have screaming brats over and over.. mine is tiny, and there is no way i want to inflict another me on this world, its got enough trouble with one of me.. :-).. but i am happy with my choice, and eventually i will get the snip, after my love has had hers(her decision, her choice, she wants it first and has told me repeatedly she wants to be "fixed" first. she wants control over her reproduction, and has said what i want to do with my body is my decision, and no one elses.. and i agree with her 100%) the only regret i have, and this is a minor one, is who will we leave our stuff too, hopefully we will find a young cf couple, and leave it to them..

my brother is cf, he is long term ill, and he hasnt got many people but me and my love. he is 13 years older than me, then theres mum..

my love has no other family or they are older. thats the only thing, but its not going to make me want kids, i am too lazy, i like my down times, i like my freedom to come in after a night drinking, to not have screaming brats over and over..

mine is tiny, and there is no way i want to inflict another me on this world, its got enough trouble with one of me.. :-) .. but i am happy with my choice, and eventually i will get the snip, after my love has had hers(her decision, her choice, she wants it first and has told me repeatedly she wants to be “fixed” first. she wants control over her reproduction, and has said what i want to do with my body is my decision, and no one elses.. and i agree with her 100%)

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