The Positives Of Being Childfree
11 01 2007It’s always worth remembering many of the good things I have in my life or the things I aspire to do, or that my husband and I as a couple can aspire to do are because we are childfree. It’s easy to take things for granted, but here’s a suggestion for those who suddenly find themselves confronted by the ghost of second-guessing:
1. Make a list of all the positive things you have going for you in your life right now.
2. Look long and hard at your list and think about which of the items you’ve listed would not be possible if you had a child.
Here are a few of mine…what are yours?
- Personal freedom to come and go as I wish
- More energy to devote to my husband and a closer and more intimate relationship
- More time and energy for my career
- Spontaneity
- More time and energy to devote to any other endeavour I choose to (the potential is amazing)
- More money with which to live more comfortably
- Greater choice as to where we live and work
- More money and time to spend on travelling
- More time and energy to devote to self-improvement or education
- More money to plan for the future
- More time and energy to volunteer
Remembering these and more are great ammunition for when people attempt to imply that it’s impossible to lead a meaningful and successful life unless you become a parent.
And while we’re at it, that particular myth really needs to be consigned to the rubbish tip.
My positives are:
1) Not having to deal with kid and teen drama — crying, whining, arguements about wanting to be treated as an adult, disrespecting my authority as an adult and a parent, etc.
2) Not having to fret over junior high, high school and college graduation preparations
3) Never having to fill the refrigerator and cupboards with sugary snacks and other junk food that I shouldn’t be eating just because the kids want it
4) Never having to monitor what’s on TV, on the radio, on the CD player because of kids
5) Knowing that I can buy nice things and keep them without fear of Junior and Sally breaking them
6) Not ever having to be the neighborhood mom
7) Never having to sit through something the kid is in (recitals, fashion shows, school plays, etc.) and having to pretend I really like it when in fact, I’m bored to tears
Here’s more!
1- No pregnancy and all the medical and physical changes that come with it.
2-Sleeping in late on the weekends…actually, sleeping in late whenever you feel like it.
3-No late night feedings interrupting your sleep
4-No ruined clothes from baby puke
5-No educational expenses from kindergarten to college
6-No worries about teenaged pregnancies
7-Minivan? What for?
8-Unlimited peace and quiet
9-Peace and contentment knowing you made the right decision not to procreate.
i have to say the positives for me are, i dont have to watch myself every second, i am clumsy, bull in a china shop.. if there was a brat i would have to be on constant guard against breaking the little things head..
i suffer from insomnia, and when i dont have enough sleep i get rather annoyed at the slightest thing.. not a good thing around kids.. so i can get my 3 hours a night.
not putting someone through the pain of childbirth.
I’d like to add:
Never, ever, having to make “playdates” and being forced to socialize with mothers/fathers you have nothing in common with only because of your child is friends with theirs. Ugh.
Oh, and not having to deal with annoying soccer/baseball/ballet moms & dads who live out their own childhood dreams vicariously through their children.
Ah, yes, my future is bright.
And here are some more benefits:
Being able to avoid the never ending stress of worrying about the kids - where they are, what they want, what they’re doing, what they are not doing, who they’re with, where they’re going, etc, etc. I don’t know how people live with all that.
Freedom from guilt about how much time I’m spending - or not spending - with them, or how good or bad a mother I am/might be.
Not having to associate with the “Muffia” (the mummy mafia) at all. in fact being able to live far away from them.
Sometimes I wanna drive away and never come back. I can only tell this to random people on the internet because I feel like such a failure. I am depressed and have no one to talk to about it. No one that wouldnt judge me at least or run off and tell other family members. My husband shows no emotion about anything and doesnt care to talk about feelings unless there is screaming and yelling involved.Sometimes I think what was I thinking? My husband isn’t even a kid person. He wasn’t interested in having kids. It was all me and therefore I don’t want to complain about it to anyone now that I already have three kids.They would probably think “Isn’t it a little too late?” I have close to no adult contact, my husband is always working and I sleep alone and cry at night, and don’t even get me started on our money situation. The credit cards are about maxed out and I worry 24/7. I just keep thinking, “What the hell did I do?”
Wow….that’s sad….