Like It Is

At last!

A Canadian book about childfree people, long overdue. A big thanks to Timethief for highlighting this prize-winning book – Nobody’s Mother: Life Without Kids. Given the discussion here over the past few days, this book is timely in more ways than one. I for one am planning to add it to my library.

I am looking forward to more and more books like this one being published. Hopefully that will go some way to removing the stigma that childfree women and their partners continue to undergo from society and sometimes family, in addition to validating our choice in the face of criticism, questions and the inevitable bingoes.

I can hardly wait to find out what the “Yummy Mummy” is.

I think the book write up is worthy of more highlighting, so, as well as the link, I have added a couple of screen captures.

Edited by Lynne Van Luven, finalist in the 2007 BC Book Prizes. Foreword by Shelagh Rogers.

Technorati Tags: childfree, stigma, childfree women, choice

So says Lydia Lovric, journalist and broadcaster writing for the Vancouver Province.

I’m not entirely sure which part of Lydia Lovric’s “let’s play at journalism” article disgusted me the most.

Was it that Ms Lovric was calling childfree people selfish and materialistic? Well, she isn’t the first uninformed person to do so and she certainly will not be the last. If you’re childfree, being called all manner of interesting names and being bingo-ed becomes par for the course. And we can give as good as we get; being childfree is not for the spineless or the faint-hearted. However I don’t think it was that – although her piece was chock-full of bingoes.

Was it the way Ms Lovric managed to take a serious statistical fact – namely the findings of the 2006 Census in Canada -and turn it into the whiny stereotypical bleating of an obsessed m…person? Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Lydia Lovric, childfree

I promised I’d print Lydia Lovric’s response to Christine’s letter. So, with Christine’s kind permission, here it is. I have to say it’s been a while since I’ve read something quite so patronizing and just plain uninformed. There are obviously no reasons that are good enough for not breeding having kids as far as she’s concerned. While tossing a sap at childfree people by acknowledging that “there are some people who truly shouldn’t have kids,” she then goes on to underline that:

“a lot of couples today are purely selfish in their desire not to have kids.”

Let’s see now, how many childfree couples did Ms Lovric interview? Which childfree literature/childfree sources did she consult? How many older couples “spending thousands and thousands on fertility treatments” did she actually talk to? Yet she knows that these older women are people who are/were childfree? And as for the survey she quotes that shows more than 70% of childfree (or childless as she calls them) women regretted their decision – that would be an interesting read. Even if it were true, this smacks of the “you’ll regret it one day…” bingo.

According to Ms Lovric (who sprogged up became a mother last October) we selfish childfree folk know nothing. And we are going to discover that (gasp!!) there’s more to life - and it’s kids! But read on. Her letter to Christine saved me bothering to send her a letter of my own… Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Lydia Lovric, childfree, childless, childfree

Census confirms many Canadians see kids as burden, not a blessing

This article from the Province came to me courtesy of ChrisW. Thank you Chris and Christine.

It’s great when readers send things they think you’ll be interested in. Particularly when it’s something like this. By “something like this”, I don’t mean Ms Lovric’s piece, which clearly shows that Lydia Lovric does not get it, however isn’t about to let that get in the way of a story.

Take this excerpt for example:

“So why are so many Canadians shunning parenthood?

For many, it boils down to materialism and selfishness. Today’s twenty- and-thirtysomethings seem to think that travelling the world, driving fancy cars and living in luxury condos will give them more joy in life than raising children.”

Whew! Talk about preaching. And assuming she knows more Read the rest of this entry »

Good Evening, Lydia,

I read your article and I did find it interesting. However, people in general, can and often times do, choose not to have kids for many viable and non-selfish reasons. And sometimes those non-selfish reasons can at surface level seem selfish, but when in fact are not. Here are some examples that readily come to mind.

(1a.) asthma and diabetes run strong in my husband and myself’s families…I grew up with it since I was 1 years old. Why would I put another soul through the kind of sickness and suffering that I went through all of my life? That would be very selfish of me. b) Diabetes can worsen the quality of life, why would I be selfish to put another soul through that?
Diabetes can lead to poor circulation and gout.

2.) If you know from the very beginning, that you could not handle some brats incessant screaming and acting up, and you know that you would have zero patience, ..why abuse the child or worse than that to a child, because you have not enough patience or tolerance? that would be selfish.

3.) Is it selfish to say no to having kids, because you have a lot of debt or do not make enough?

4.) Is it selfish to like peace and quiet in our daily lives?,

5.) Is it selfish to want to have the freedom to choose when and where we like to travel or eat dinner at ? I do not think it is wrong for anyone to choose a life that works for them. We have wonderful friends, family members and hobbies/interests that keep life enriching and enjoyable and meaningful for us.

I would like others who think peoples life’s ambitions are to get married and have kids….to understand that many others choose a happy, valid childfree way of life and to not try to force their views onto already happy, well-adjusted childfrees or for the people sitting on the fence and are undecided.

Thanks for listening. I hope this explains things better.

christine, chris and da birdies.

Technorati Tags: childfree

Sigh, why oh why do they insist on interviewing celebrities? Why do they insist on getting their views on “love, life and relationships” and “how much I want a baybeey baby,” or “how my wonderful baybeey baby has changed my life and made me a better person…?”

Halle Berry is without doubt one of the most beautiful people in the world. She’s been named one of the “50 Most Beautiful People” in People Magazine in 2004 and she has appeared on this list no less than eight times, tying with Julia Roberts for the most appearances. Halle Berry is definitely a babe.

Rather unfortunately Halle has had awfully lousy taste in men.

Somehow she always seemed to be drawn to/get involved with/love/marry/ the wrong type of man. With big personalities, as egotistical as they come and equally big fists which they apparently didn’t seem too bothered about using. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: celebrities, Halle Berry

Naomi Campbell isn’t a threat right now, but if she gets in a temper, then watch out for those stiletto boots.

In Naomi Is Out Of Control! she was in the dock. Again. Now it’s time to do the community service stint.

The nutty tempestuous nutty supermodel arrived today to do her week of community service in Manhattan as punishment for assaulting her maid with a Blackberry mobile phone.

She certainly arrived dressed to kill in six-inch stiletto and stylish cinch waisted coat and sassy shades and for all anybody knew she could have been on a fashion shoot. Officials are “concerned about her comfort” – doing an eight hour day of menial tasks can be hard on the feet, they say. I say, too right. I’m sure she had some stylish flats she could have chosen instead. Stilettos are a bit senseless for community server, but we won’t let a bit of common sense get in the way of a supermodel.

Perhaps she will change into the workboots she was carrying… and perhaps she has some comfy track pants and sporty combos that will work a treat for her community service. Even better perhaps someone will give her a boot to the head before they have her pop into her orange jump suit – like the one Boy George wore. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Naomi Campbell, supermodel

The future, as far as this season’s fashion trends are concerned is bold and bright. And frilly, and flouncy, and metallic.

There are skinny jeans and minis, swingy dresses and lots of leg. Looks like we can actually pick what suits and mix, match and create our very own looks.

So here are some tips garnered from some of my favourite fashion pages. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: fashion trends, skinny jeans

That’s if you’re seeking sterilization as a means of contraception.

It appears that if an otherwise healthy woman requests sterilization, and it isn’t deemed to be medically necessary there are a range of complex and ethical decisions the consultant feels they need to make.

But when a woman has always known she does not want children, this also presumably means that she also does not want to become pregnant either. She has probably arrived at the decision to request sterilization after many years of thought and consideration – it isn’t the kind of decision you wake up one day and think of just “doing.”

If these women get as far as seeing a consultant, it’s usually after a couple of refusals, so they are probably doubly determined. So why are their requests dismissed by consultants as a temporary whim, while, once again, the woman has to justify why she wants to be sterilized?

The view of many consultants is often that: Read the rest of this entry »

An increasing number of women who are childfree by choice are demonstrating their personal commitment to a childfree lifestyle by opting for sterilization. But even though they, as childfree women may have put much thought into their decisions, and/or had painful or less than satisfactory experiences with other forms of contraception, when they approach their GP (in England a GP is short for General Practitioner, which would be Doctor in Canada) for a referral for the procedure they are often met with refusal from the medical profession. Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: childfree, sterilization, women, contraception