It’s often difficult to find well-balanced articles about Childfree people and Childfree living. So when you get to read a really great article, it’s very uplifting. So, a plug is in order here. Well balanced articles in the mainstream media, ones that don’t make you come away thinking “they are only out to paint childfree people as selfish and coldhearted – again” are like gold dust.
Kids R Not Us – Embracing the decision not to procreate appeared in the March 4 San Francisco Chronicle and was forwarded to me by Teri (and hey, I remember the poker group!).
One of the best things about this article – and I do hope you’ll read it – is the variety of different people Katherine Seligman talks with for her article. Even if I hadn’t already known that childfree men and women are as diverse as they come, and completely as normal as they come, this would have gone a long way to creating that view.
I don’t know that I’d agree with Coontz, (a parent), that “the vast majority of people think it’s acceptable not to have kids or marry,” because that hasn’t been my experience and still find many are still uncomfortable with it, however certainly more people accept it now than previously. Not sure also I’d agree that “We owe parents who raise kids a debt, because…the kids will be paying our pensions” but for the most part the article focuses more on childfree people and their lives in an engaging informative way, evoking some very familiar experiences. Oh, yes, I can identify.
I totally agree with AlphaGirl’s response to “Work-family benefits”. And, as Teri says, childfree people are getting harder to ignore. That, in my opinion is a good thing. I liked the fact that it was noted that men do face many of the stereotypical reactions from childed others – it’s presumed that they’re selfish or there’s something wrong as Rick, interviewed in the article, says. Most of all I liked the fact that no-one was apologetic.
As Chris Fisher says,
“Why is it people feel they can ask if you have kids? Would they come up and ask if you were gay?”
Why indeed? But enough from me. Read the article here.
Hat tip to Teri (who informs me she went hiking in short sleeves yesterday by the way while we, meanwhile, shiver in temperatures of -23C) for forwarding this very interesting childfree article.
Original article: San Francisco Chronicle, by Katherine Seligman
Technorati Tags: Childfree
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Britgirl – I spoke to AlphaGirl, one of our more militant CF voices and she really feels unfairly singled out and misquoted. I was really surprised, as I was quite pleased with Ms. Seligman’s treatment.
AlphaGirl may be setting herself up by using strong language, in her characteristic, unapologetic manner and then withholding her last name. She was burned a little that this was part of the story, but I think she created this situation with her rant-like blog posts. All the same, I think she is a part of our diverse community and often someone needs to have a really loud, yes, sometimes angry, voice to wake others up…and I love her for it!
Dropped AlphaGirl some love over on her blog!
Had the most amazing chat with one of my clients that has a 9 month old. He also raised his college-aged child singlehandedly.
He said being a parent is a bitch of a job. Backbreaking. Grueling. Not for the weak or faint of heart. It is the HARDEST job you will ever have to do. He said sugar coating it does no one any good and more parents should be vocal and upfront on how hard it is to be a parent AND how not everyone SHOULD be a parent.
He is extremely supportive of my childfree status and said it would be a better world if more people stand for what they know to be right for them. And if ya don’t want kids, then by God don’t have ‘em and good for you!
The most refreshing response I’ve ever gotten after telling someone I was child-free by choice.
Teri – I’m very surprised that AlphaGirl felt like that too. I thought the writer did a good job. Have to say I like AG’s in your face style. I know not everyone is comfortable with rants-like posts, but I say more power to her. Points to the diversity as you say. I wonder if everyone made a bee-line to her blog…I wasn thinking it would be great publicity for her, but perhaps she’ll think otherwise…I hope she doesn’t let this put her off writing.
Kath – thanks very much for sharing this! Very interesting! Wouldn’t it be great if we heard more responses like this instead of everyone pretending it’s all wonderful and rosy.
it is nice to read an article as good as this one….and I love the quote by Chris Fisher.
Very interesting article.
I guess I’ve been lucky that it has not been difficult finding other childfree people and couples. Most of my friends are childfree and this just seemed to happen that way — we all just got older and many of us didn’t want children. Of course, a few did but they’re not childcentric — we talk about (and do) all kinds of things. I couldn’t be close friends with a very childcentric sort but I’ve never had to fend them off because someone like this probably would not want to be my best pal either. I do enjoy my friends’ children a great deal (I worked with kids for many years) but I enjoy seeing my friends without their children more often.