I don’t know that I would go so far as calling it a sin, - and certainly the fundies would disagree with you - but you raise some very interesting points. I believe many (if not most) people have children for at least one selfish reason, often more. It is usually all about “them” and what “they” want. They have expectations of children even though these may not be verbalized and even though they may never admit it. And society encourages it so that it has enough children to keep working and supporting everyone else.

http://winnipegsun.com/News/Columnists/Boryskavich_Krista/2007/03/07/3709735.html

I doubt that Lovric could give even one good reason to have kids. Not a chance. And bottom line, the reason I don’t have kids is, like you, - I don’t want to. Lovric most decidedly subscribes to the erroneous assumption that every woman wants kids, should want kids, must want kids and will move hell and high water to have them. A fallacy indeed, but one that is perpetuated regardless.

You’ve highlighted a key point… instead of childfree people justifying their choice not to breed, it should be the other way around… the childed should be explaining why they find it necessary to have kids - and why they find it necessary to try to convince us to do the same. And instead of responding to the intrusive bingoes we should be responding with our own question - “why do you feel the need to have kids, then?

I will accept this as a reasonable comment if this bint can give ME *ONE* good reason which seems to be enough to convince me to HAVE children that I do not want.

This comment CLEARLY derives from an unexamined (and IMO completely fallacious, falsely emotive and illogical) bias - one that ASSumes that having children is a requirement, a default, which people must have a good reason to avoid.

To say that anyone can judge the reasons NOT to have children and decide that they are ‘not enough’ ASSumes that one must justify this choice.

Personally, I think, rather, the choice to concieve and bear children must be justified - after all this is the choice that creates a new person.

I think if Ms. Lovric thinks that the “reasons (asthma, diabetes) do not seem to be enough to not have children” she would not even be able to wrap her brain around MY reason for not having a child.
I don’t want to.
That is it.
No fancy excuses of genetic disorders, or pollution, or the environment, or my financnes, or my lifestyle or even time , money and personal fulfiment.
I simply have no desire to do it.
Everything else is secondary.
I am CERTAINLY not going to produce a child that I do not desire because someone ELSE thinks that it is a reqiuirement or default, and more than I would get a large dog I didn’t want or train as a lion tamer because someone else thought I should.

Even your reasons (asthma, diabetes) do not seem to be enough to not have children. I’m sure if I asked people with asthma or diabetes if they would rather not live at all, very few would say that they’d choose not to have been born in the first place.

What?! Give me one person in their right mind who would choose not to live! And for passing on their asthma or diabetes, I can totally understand that, as my brother has terrible asthma and passed it on to my nephew, who can’t run a few steps without having to take medication. He is not even two years old and is constantly threatened by catching pneumonia due to his week lungs. So I can definitely understand someone wanting to prevent the suffering of another human being by making the decision to not pass on their ailment through childbearing.

She goes on to say: (I can understand some more serious diseases - and I’m not saying that having asthma or diabetes is a walk in the park - but there are degrees). Degrees?

And then she starts talking about those who choose to be “childless”, as she puts it, go on to regret it in their older ages. I doubt they regret it to the extent she is trying to demonstrate. And then this:

Why do you think so many older couples spend thousands and thousands on fertility treatments and/or adoption?

I don’t necessarily agree with the fertility treatments at such older ages, but as for adoption….what is so wrong with adoption. If a couple changes their mind and decides to adopt then that is a glorious thing. They will be taking a child out of harmful environments and providing them with a safe/loving home.

And as for that American survey of hers, I’d like a link or at least a proper source of her information. Journalist-I don’t think so.

Ok, I have nothing against giving girls dolls, but please do not tell me that constantly telling girls (via TV commercias, Toy’s R Us’s gender blatant gender divided aisles) they should do nothing but play with kitchen items and princess dolls isn’t sexist. This article is full of her usual style of refusing to back up “research shows” statements and sweeping generalizations “What little girl, at some point in her life, doesn’t dream of getting a doll?” (um, thanks, but I prefered my stuffed animals and star wars figures to Barbie).

Here are some more examples:

“Despite what some people believe, this gender divide does not appear to be manufactured. Research supports the notion that after a certain age, children are inherently drawn to certain toys.”

“Even monkeys select toys based on gender. According to studies out of Texas A&M University, male monkeys seem to naturally prefer cars or balls while female monkeys opt to play with dolls or pots.”

What studies? What are the stats?

Sorry for the rant.

Jessica - lol, but of course. Perfectly scientific.. judging by the rest of her article!

Carisa - Absolutely full of bingoes. I have to say, when I read the butterfly kisses thing I thought WTF?! THAT is her reason for having kids??! Butterflies do NOT kiss! Ugh! When you think of it though her whole article is amusing really…because there are so many bingoes in it, it’s a joke.

RMS - I thought she might be bent out of shape because had Bratley and was busy getting the butterfly kiss fix… but yes I thought she was very insulting - to Christine considering Christine’s letter was so polite and well balanced. In spite of her supposed “well, it’s a personal decision” line, there was zero respect for Christine’s views - and she didn’t even bother to hide it.

TT - hey thanks for that article link. Actually, Lydia Lovric didn’t appear to read anything at all. Certainly nothing of any substance and she doesn’t seem to know anything about what she writes even though she tries to pass it off as fact. Just one point though, she didn’t post her article here, not in the troll sense anyway ;). Christopher emailed it and Lovric’s response to Christine’s (his wife) letter to me - and I asked if Christine wouldn’t mind me publishing it here. But to your point- as soon as I read her article I thought it was so unbelievably flimsy it couldn’t have been based on any research.

The Vancouver Province.must be scraping the bottom of the barrel. She actually shows how stupid she is by the pronouncements she makes with no foundation AND the fact that she actually shows how selfish she is! I had a laugh at that I must say.

LoudFem - I was going to shoot her off my own reply too and I read on some childfree boards that others were going to as well and decided not to, because they didn’t want to feed her ego. But then I saw her response to Christine and, in the words of Chris - if she didn’t “get it” then she never would so I decided no letter from me, but I was going to say what I thought. ;).

Besides, I thought it would be far more fun and informative sharing it with you all here even if she is is loving the attention… but I’m enjoying showing her up for the arrogant, patronizing, uninformed rambling idiot she shows herself to be.

Christine - Yes, yes and yes…lol. When I first read her line about “asking people with asthma and diabetes if they’d rather not live, I had to scratch my head.” It was yet another WTF?! moment.

“…I’m sure if I asked people with asthma or diabetes if they would rather not live at all, very few would say that they’d choose not to have been born in the first place.

“Rather not live at all”?

Huh? That’s not at issue here and no one (who is mentally sound) on earth would choose not to be born…?? This is bizarre nonsense talk and has nothing to do with the decision not to have children.

Picking her apart is just too easy as we all have aptly done. I agree with LoudFem, she’s interested in publicity and writing about her here probably is making her day…but I can live with that.

I decided to peruse her website and it looks to me that she is just trying to rile people up to get attention. She probably doesn’t actually *care* about the topic, but is loving the publicity. I figured that a letter from Texas would just feed the flames of her ego. So, I didn’t write anything.

LoudFem

To be clear I believe Lydia Lovric falls into the category of “troll” and IMO yourself and the others commenting have hit the nail on the head.

This person did not supply her references and it’s unlikely that she did any research at all. Moreover, she has the audacity to speculate on what older couples might feel as they grow older. Well, I’m among these older people and I do not regret my decision nor does my husband. In fact, we know 5 other couples of the same age who also feel absolutely no regret about their decision to remain childfree either. Moreover, some were actually interviewed for the book referred to above.

The real question is the one rms poses: So why is she so bent out of shape about people who choose not to have children? Hmm, now that’s the real question. Maybe she’s the one feeling regret!

On the other hand, I don’t think trolls feel regret. If they did then they wouldn’t demonstrate a need to seek out blogs like your own and abuse childfree bloggers.

Right. It’s so deeply personal that if we aren’t making the same decision as Lydia made, she’s going to call us selfish and judge whatever reasons we have as not being good enough reasons.

What a ridiculous and insulting woman! She’s one of the people that give the childed a bad name. To totally discount someone’s health reasons as not good enough (oh, but there are degrees) is offensive. I wonder how she would feel if we judged her so harshly?

Ultimately, it really is a personal decision, and that means it’s no one else’s business but our own! So why is she so bent out of shape about people who choose not to have children? Hmm, now that’s the real question. Maybe she’s the one feeling regret!

Also, her statement “It’s one thing to be in your 30s or 40s and say that you are childfree and loving it. But I think those figures change greatly as someone gets older and realizes there is more to life.” is quite laughable. She’s assuming, once again, that all people over the age of 60 want nothing more out of life than to have grandkids dumped on their lap. But then again, that’s nothing more than another “you’ll change your mind” bingo. Ugh.