Men, Vasectomies And The Childfree Choice
30 04 2007Much of the information on sterilization has been overwhelmingly centred on women.And even that information isn’t an awful lot. Not much is heard of, or written about, men who either hope to be sterilized or who have been. I am always keen to hear more about men and their choice to be childfree.
I came across this very informative and well written article. Called Is It Hip To Snip? it’s a bit of a long read, however very well worth reading to the end. I thought I’d highlight here some of the article’s key points that stood out to me.
More and more men are making the decision to be childfree and when they do, many want to get a vasectomy as soon as they can.
They also get told by doctors that they are too young, or that they will change their minds. We know that women face this roadblock all the time.
According to the article, typically 600,000 men get vasectomies each year. According to several urologists who spoke with Salon for the article the typical candidate is in his 30’s or 40’s, married and has a couple of kids.
The number of younger men (men in their 20’s and 30’s) deciding not to have children and getting vasectomies is on the rise. Thinking about this, it could be that many younger men want vasectomies but could be faced with many of the same personal prejudices from doctors (they are too young, they will change their mind, or that they will regret it) and get turned down for the procedure.
In fact, some urologists will only schedule vasectomies for men who are over 30, married and have one or more kids. A situation with which women seeking a tubal ligation can well identify. Because one man or five men want a reversal does not mean that every man wanting a vasectomy is going to want to reverse it.And many women face the same opposition to getting sterilized, even though they may have been quite sure from an early age that they did not want children. Why should their choices be limited to what others think, want or do?
Contrary to the image of feckless male immaturity, many of these younger men who want vasectomies are keen to have control over their destiny rather than leave it to random choice or to someone else. Read the views of some of them in the article, they are illuminating.
And –
“ For the first time ever, the government’s National Centre for Health Statistics (NCHS) has asked men — nearly 5,000 of them — about their family planning and reproductive choices. Among the data expected to be released on Father’s Day: how many men plan on remaining childless for good — and how many of those men have gotten vasectomies to set that decision in stone.”
Interestingly, as the article states, it has taken 30 years to ask men about their reproductive choices. Data on women has been collected since the 1970s.
Similar to childfree women, childless or childfree sterilized men face criticism for being selfish, immature and shortsighted. Some have even been told that they’re “robbing their future wife of the opportunity to be a mother..”
And men who have got vasectomies are asking:
“Why is it acceptable to make the permanent choice to have kids at a young age and not OK to make the permanent choice to not have kids? “The truth is, I put more thought and energy into not having kids than many people do into having them,” says Ciaccio. “What’s the worse scenario — a man regretting his vasectomy or a man regretting accidental parenthood?”
One thing is clear. Many men want to have an active part in the decision of whether or not they want to parent.
They don’t want to be “oopsed” into parenthood. They are prepared to kiss relationships goodbye if the woman fails to get the point that in fact “I don’t want kids” means “I don’t want kids” not “you can change my mind by threatening to leave or by tricking me into being a father when I don’t wish to be.” They also
Men want reproductive choices and now with the strides that are being made in technology to find a male contraceptive, it looks like they are getting it. It also looks as if it’s also being realised (albeit slowly) that men have a right to exercise their childfree status as much as those who exercise their childed. One can only hope that this same realisation by the medical profession and society at large is applied to women.
Since it takes two to make a baby it stands to reason that both partners should be willing participants, not just one
About time too.
Original article and quotes from Salon.com written by Dana Hudepohl
Technorati Tags: sterilization, childfree
this is one of my little pet peeves, women have about 17 different choices of birth control (different ways, different chemicals etc different versions), men have 3. ok fine..
but being a childfree man, and with a childfree woman, i get told i should be the only one to get the snip, that rowan shouldnt get a tubal, its a mans duty/responsibility to have the snip and leave the woman alone.
rowan has been told that she shouldnt have the tubal, because a man can have it easier, and simpler, maybe so, but thats my decision, just like having a tubal is her decision.
its a sort of giving the responsibility to the man, rather than some women taking charge of their own long term reproduction.
now rowan wants it done, i havent forced her, but she has said, if i want a vasectomy afterwards then thats my choice as its my body.
part of the reason why so many young men, have vasectomies, is, quite simple they have seen bad women, women who have oopsed men, used discarded condoms to get pregnant, and its getting into the mens minds its better to be safe than sorry, it does tar a lot of women with the same brush, but thats how its seen.
which would you rather have, 18-21 years of pain and suffering, or 3 days.. they are choosing 3 days.
i want rowan to have her tubal done first, why, because it will help her most of all, her fear of being pregnant, is high, so it will give her peace of mind, which at any price is worth having, so i am in a half selfish way to make my life easier, i am going to pay for half.. but mostly because she WANTS it with a passion.
It’s especially important for childfree men here to get the snip. Here in California, one oops can ruin a man’s life. Too many times men have been required to pay child support for kids that aren’t theirs, and even when a bill was introduced to make it perjury for a woman to lie about a child’s parentage, that bill was vetoed by our lousy former governor Davis. Essentially, a woman could have a kid and slap the name of any man she wants on the birth certificate, and that kid would be the financial responsibility of the poor guy for 18 years. It’s not his? Too bad. He never slept with her? Too bad. He never even met her? Too bad.
Hmm…I wonder if the snip would even change anything…
legally it wouldnt, fatherhood, doesnt in todays world mean a genetic component,
this is exactly what you were saying
http://www.reason.com/news/show/29035.html
What Pierce didn’t realize, and what nearly 10 million American men have discovered to their chagrin since the welfare reform legislation of 1996, is that when the government accuses you of fathering a child, no matter how flimsy the evidence, you are one month away from having your life wrecked. Federal law gives a man just 30 days to file a written challenge; if he doesn’t, he is presumed guilty. And once that steamroller of justice starts rolling, dozens of statutory lubricants help make it extremely difficult, and prohibitively expensive, to stop — even, in most cases, if there’s conclusive DNA proof that the man is not the child’s father
**
i will probably have one, but only after rowan is sorted, her choice. i am a minor part in mens rights, and i have said men get the snip, if you have any doubts about the woman, dont do it. no sex without an overcoat, prevent it, and the snip is one of the best preventions.
My hubby got his vasectomy when we’d only been married less than 2 years. I was 25 and he was 30. It took him a while to even find a doctor who would do it and then we had to have a consultation first and sign a bunch of waivers. I don’t understand why the reproductive choices of couples are anyone else’s business. When someone wants a medical procedure done, and they can pay for it, they should be able to have it done. It’s their choice.
@Debi - “I don’t understand why the reproductive choices of couples are anyone else’s business.”
The birthrate among the world’s industrialized nations has been falling steadily for quite some time; even in the United States, though immigration makes up for it in some respects. I know it’s a bit of a leap, but the notion of giving families and married couples tax advantages and preference in the US always makes me think the US tracks birthrates pretty closely. From a sociological point of view, it’s no mistake the bias against people who choose to be childless exists.
That and the American gov’t usually has some boogyman lined up to scare it’s people, be it the Axis in WW2, Communists and a nuclear threat in the Cold War, environmental collapse following the Cold War, and now the “war on terror”. Not to sound conspiratorial (and none of this really is), but it’s not that much a stretch the gov’t has its fingers in promoting procreation as well.
I think it’s more about the feds either a) pandering to the famblee lobby or b) having the realization that too many people have kids they can’t pay for.
i personally think pandering to these breeders, is a way of ensuring voters, who will remember who helped mommy when she was pregnant.
who are the people most likely to vote, men are disenfranchised, older men are disillusioned because they have seen it all, the young men(18 plus here), do have ideals, but that usually gets destroyed.
but young women and women with children are predominantly the voters. so the governmental parties, give them more stuff, as a bribe.
look at the pressure groups, feminism who pushed to bring in domestic violence against WOMEN act, (never mentioning men suffering), title IX for sport, and so on, now the environmental brigade, they are pushing and being bribed by the current parties, by having carbon offsets etc..
of course i am a cynical person, but always follow the money. who really benefits, it doesnt hurt to have these children indoctrinated in the “modern” fambly ideals, that good old uncle sam will foot the bill (same with the UK as well), so long as they get a vote your vote..
look at the uber religious nuts, refusing birth control, in pharmacies, they are a powerful group, and they fund governments, they have a bigger say because the leader of the government at the moment is a uber religious freak himself.
If a man wants a vasectomy at 22, 23, or any age he should be able to get one. Just as a woman should be able to do. Most of the reasons why doctors refuse them comes down to their own preconceived - and often baseless - ideas.
As Debi says, it’s the couple’s choice.
And I don’t think it’s simply giving the responsibility to the man rather than the woman… I think the point is that men can share the responsibility for preventing unwanted pregnancies, where hitherto it had rested mainly on the woman whether this is by sterilization or the contraceptive pill. That’s the central point of the article that stood out for me. I think that younger men, if they want to be childfree, taking the decision and getting the procedure to make it permanent is a positive step.
Sean - giving perks to married people with children is definitely one of the ways to encourage women to have children to try and encourage them to keep breeding. France has done it quite successfully. Germany has had some success as well. In spite of this the birthrate is still falling.
well, i have seen it like that, partly because as a man i see it from my point of view, which isnt necessarily right, or wrong, just a view i see, you may see it differently, but thats great.
if i men see it one way is it any less valid, its the preception of the thing and men and women dont see the world in the same way.
i would love to see a permanent sterilisation procedure for men, like the pill, where it stops it, until you are ready if ever to had kids. thats the type of b/c i would love to see, should stop so many more accidental pregnancies, and the ruination of mens and womens lives.
and it would reduce the need for abortions, (thats what gets me hopping mad, these uber freaks are anti abortion, and yet they want to deny prevention due to religious beleifs. they cant have it both ways). if you wanted a child you would have to think about it, have a procedure, and your sorted..
but thats my view as a cf male.
I’ve been reading your blog for some time but have found myself v. busy this year so only now have I been able to read this, and I’m wondering if it would be okay for me to share it w/a CF group I belong to on MySpace? I would certainly give you credit and a link.
We have several members dealing w/the medical system right now and I think your words would be v. helpful.
Thanks for your consideration.
Steph
mercurior - men will probably soon have something similar to the pill. I know they are testing a male contraceptive. Which will be good, as you say, they won’t have to go down the “final” route.
Stepher - I’s be honoured! Feel free to share with your CF group.. I hope something of the article will be helpful to them. And thanks for reading!
Thank you so much for giving me permission to post your words. I posted the link to our group above [just click my name].
This is always an interesting topic for our group; I know your words will be appreciated!
Cheers!
Stepher - You’re welcome!