Comments on: Who’s Your Daddy: The Search For Sperm Donors http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/ The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:24:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-6628 mercurior Sat, 14 Jul 2007 19:15:52 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-6628 but donors, a so called privacy thing, they donor like your SO they could claim child support.. but they love trauma of severe birth defects. they live off the grief but donors, a so called privacy thing, they donor like your SO they could claim child support.. but they love trauma of severe birth defects. they live off the grief

]]> By: melissa http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-6616 melissa Sat, 14 Jul 2007 12:06:43 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-6616 My husband and I have jokingly talked about him donating his sperm for money, but I always say that I wouldn't want him to do it because he could have all these kids out there that he knows nothing about. He says that they wouldn't be his kids - they would be someone else's. I say that biologically they would be his offspring and that it would be sad and strange to have children you didn't ever see or know. It would really bother me. Also, I have had the thought - what if a boy and girl who unknowingly came from the same sperm donor got married? Are there any ethical safeguards in place to prevent a nightmare like that from happening? If not, then the potential is there for horrible birth defects and major emotional trauma! My husband and I have jokingly talked about him donating his sperm for money, but I always say that I wouldn’t want him to do it because he could have all these kids out there that he knows nothing about. He says that they wouldn’t be his kids - they would be someone else’s. I say that biologically they would be his offspring and that it would be sad and strange to have children you didn’t ever see or know. It would really bother me. Also, I have had the thought - what if a boy and girl who unknowingly came from the same sperm donor got married? Are there any ethical safeguards in place to prevent a nightmare like that from happening? If not, then the potential is there for horrible birth defects and major emotional trauma!

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3489 mercurior Thu, 24 May 2007 20:41:39 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3489 no worries, i am a living search engine ;-)... so many people want their own dna replicant, they forget the other unwanted children, its as if they want to be the parents of the next einstein, but they could be the next jeffrey dahmer. this pressure to change what nature has decided is very arrogant, if nature tells you by giving you miscarriages, then nature is saying its not for you.. donating, is bypassing certain natural restrictions. so not only is it messing with potential genetic flaws, there is also the financial aspect, the social aspect, hell even the possibility that in the future 2 children from the same sperm donor could meet. it sounds cruel to the ones who are trying for a baby, but, if you cant do it, then it wasnt meant to be. no worries, i am a living search engine ;-)…

so many people want their own dna replicant, they forget the other unwanted children, its as if they want to be the parents of the next einstein, but they could be the next jeffrey dahmer.

this pressure to change what nature has decided is very arrogant, if nature tells you by giving you miscarriages, then nature is saying its not for you..

donating, is bypassing certain natural restrictions. so not only is it messing with potential genetic flaws, there is also the financial aspect, the social aspect, hell even the possibility that in the future 2 children from the same sperm donor could meet.

it sounds cruel to the ones who are trying for a baby, but, if you cant do it, then it wasnt meant to be.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3441 Britgirl Thu, 24 May 2007 00:39:32 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3441 Merc - thanks for these very interesting links. Definitely a major minefield. Mel - Good question. It's funny I was thinking the very same questions myself. And I'm going to see what I find. Mercurior's article links are a good strating point. My question would be if sperm donors will no longer have the right to anonymity, then why should the egg donor? And would the egg donor be liable for child support, should a created from that egg seek it's genetic parents? Would they have a contract? Can women donate eggs and change their minds? Can the children have a claim to donor "parents"? I bet nobody knows because there hasn't been a precedent. Yet. Given that a test case has happened with the lesbian couple, I wonder if we can expect the same with men asking for child support of an egg donor? Would be logical. It looks like the law is all over the place on this one though. At least in the states it looks like you pick your State according to their rules And then of course there is the surrogacy issue. I think the law around these issues is really going to evolve... and that it isn't going to be pretty. Merc - thanks for these very interesting links. Definitely a major minefield.
Mel - Good question. It’s funny I was thinking the very same questions myself. And I’m going to see what I find. Mercurior’s article links are a good strating point. My question would be if sperm donors will no longer have the right to anonymity, then why should the egg donor? And would the egg donor be liable for child support, should a created from that egg seek it’s genetic parents? Would they have a contract? Can women donate eggs and change their minds? Can the children have a claim to donor “parents”?

I bet nobody knows because there hasn’t been a precedent. Yet.

Given that a test case has happened with the lesbian couple, I wonder if we can expect the same with men asking for child support of an egg donor? Would be logical. It looks like the law is all over the place on this one though. At least in the states it looks like you pick your State according to their rules And then of course there is the surrogacy issue. I think the law around these issues is really going to evolve… and that it isn’t going to be pretty.

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3428 mercurior Wed, 23 May 2007 19:20:28 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3428 well i think i read somewhere, the similar sort of rules apply, its an ever grayer area, its generally in regards to surrogacy, http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/egg-donors-parental-rightsobligations.html http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04189/342889.stm http://www.eggdonor.com/?section=resources&page=legalarticles well i think i read somewhere, the similar sort of rules apply,

its an ever grayer area, its generally in regards to surrogacy,

http://www.legalmatch.com/law-library/article/egg-donors-parental-rightsobligations.html

http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04189/342889.stm

http://www.eggdonor.com/?section=resources&page=legalarticles

]]> By: Mel http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3421 Mel Wed, 23 May 2007 18:11:39 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3421 This will be very interesting to see how the whole thing pans out. As everyone has stated before, there are a lot of gray areas. This brings up another question, what about women that donate their eggs? I haven't had a chance to look into this yet, but do they have anonymity(sp?) too? Are their rights similar to those who are sperm donors? This is something I'm curious about and will check into. If anyone has the answers, feel free to enlighten me. :) This will be very interesting to see how the whole thing pans out. As everyone has stated before, there are a lot of gray areas.

This brings up another question, what about women that donate their eggs? I haven’t had a chance to look into this yet, but do they have anonymity(sp?) too? Are their rights similar to those who are sperm donors? This is something I’m curious about and will check into. If anyone has the answers, feel free to enlighten me. :)

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3397 mercurior Wed, 23 May 2007 08:31:10 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3397 yes, the the potential problems can outweigh the benefits. there was a story about 2 lesbians, who asked a male friend to donate to them to give them a child.. now he is expected to pay, this is one of the stories, its opening up a major minefield.. what if their new partner doesnt know they donated, what if they want support (read lots of money), thats why genealogists never do living people, there is so much potential that bad things will happen, theres been murders and assaults when its " discovered" that their is other children.. by other women thats just the non insemination route. * Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: A sperm donor who helped a lesbian couple conceive two children is liable for child support under a state appellate court ruling that a legal expert believes might be the first of its kind in the US. A Superior Court panel last week ordered a Dauphin County judge to establish how much Carl L. Frampton Junior would have to pay to the birth mother of the 8-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl. "I'm unaware of any other state appellate court that has found that a child has, simultaneously, three adults who are financially obligated to the child's support and are also entitled to visitation," said New York Law School professor Arthur S. Leonard, an expert on sexuality and the law ** http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/05/11/10124356.html http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/Boston_Globe_Partner_child_support_lesbians_sperm_donor_01MAR04.htm yes, the the potential problems can outweigh the benefits.

there was a story about 2 lesbians, who asked a male friend to donate to them to give them a child.. now he is expected to pay, this is one of the stories, its opening up a major minefield.. what if their new partner doesnt know they donated, what if they want support (read lots of money), thats why genealogists never do living people, there is so much potential that bad things will happen, theres been murders and assaults when its ” discovered” that their is other children.. by other women thats just the non insemination route.

*
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania: A sperm donor who helped a lesbian couple conceive two children is liable for child support under a state appellate court ruling that a legal expert believes might be the first of its kind in the US.

A Superior Court panel last week ordered a Dauphin County judge to establish how much Carl L. Frampton Junior would have to pay to the birth mother of the 8-year-old boy and 7-year-old girl.

“I’m unaware of any other state appellate court that has found that a child has, simultaneously, three adults who are financially obligated to the child’s support and are also entitled to visitation,” said New York Law School professor Arthur S. Leonard, an expert on sexuality and the law
**
http://archive.gulfnews.com/articles/07/05/11/10124356.html

http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/Boston_Globe_Partner_child_support_lesbians_sperm_donor_01MAR04.htm

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3383 Britgirl Wed, 23 May 2007 01:15:07 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3383 BF - When I first began blogging on the topic of sperm donors I found I was thinking more of the protection of the sperm donor's anonymity. Thinking about it having blogged it and read more about the sperm donor children, I find I have more sympathy for the donor children. If you think about it, we shouldn't be at all suprised that sperm donor children want to find out where they are really from, this was bound to happen. The question will be "who has the greater right?" Right now, I find myself answering "the kids do have a right to know." It might follow they have other rights too. I think we will see the floodgates burst with grown up sperm donor kids and sperm banks will be forced to remove sperm donor anonymity and allow them to find their daddies and siblings. Scary. In the past sperm donation filled a need (there's that word again) the need and desire of someone to have a child and it looks like it's backfired somewhat, because now the products of that decision have their own minds. Single women who wanted (and want) to have kids but who either didn't see or didn't want a husband on the horizon, headed for the sperm banks. Men, thinking they were helping, merrily provided their sperm - and DNA. What puzzles me is "Did NO-ONE think that these children might actually want to know their origins at some point? Looks like either donors will have to accept that any of their numerous potential progeny might not only find them, but have the right to their support and assistance, et al, or stop giving their sperm away full stop. It's more difficult and harder support the claim that when you bring a kid into the world (by whatever means) you have no responsibility for them at all. I'm not sure legal contracts will be enough, to be honest. But it's a matter of time before we see the first test case. A field day for lawyers... Mercurior - yes the kids might want support. They might even need support - or they may not. Even if it isn't money, the thought ofone or more 18+ year olds turning up (or emailing) and saying hi Dad, I'm your son/daughter, you created me" should be cause to pause, so to speak. Anyway, don't the sperm donors care that their genes are let loose out there? :). I agree donating sperm could be up there as a hazard... and I personally think any laws on removal of anonymity should be "grandfathered" in terms of support and assistance, so that those who had the expectation of anonymity when they donated are not liable. But, it could still be traumatic for both parties and their families. So, to your point, the best way is not to donate sperm at all. Or if they do, fess up to wife, partners and existing children that they have in advance.. and be prepared, with plenty of cash for a smart lawyer. Of course there is always the chance they might actually want to meet their (potentially) many offspring... some men might feel quite chuffed. I suspect though, that many will simply not donate sperm, given the potential for claims. BF - When I first began blogging on the topic of sperm donors I found I was thinking more of the protection of the sperm donor’s anonymity. Thinking about it having blogged it and read more about the sperm donor children, I find I have more sympathy for the donor children. If you think about it, we shouldn’t be at all suprised that sperm donor children want to find out where they are really from, this was bound to happen. The question will be “who has the greater right?” Right now, I find myself answering “the kids do have a right to know.” It might follow they have other rights too. I think we will see the floodgates burst with grown up sperm donor kids and sperm banks will be forced to remove sperm donor anonymity and allow them to find their daddies and siblings.
Scary.
In the past sperm donation filled a need (there’s that word again) the need and desire of someone to have a child and it looks like it’s backfired somewhat, because now the products of that decision have their own minds. Single women who wanted (and want) to have kids but who either didn’t see or didn’t want a husband on the horizon, headed for the sperm banks. Men, thinking they were helping, merrily provided their sperm - and DNA. What puzzles me is “Did NO-ONE think that these children might actually want to know their origins at some point?

Looks like either donors will have to accept that any of their numerous potential progeny might not only find them, but have the right to their support and assistance, et al, or stop giving their sperm away full stop. It’s more difficult and harder support the claim that when you bring a kid into the world (by whatever means) you have no responsibility for them at all. I’m not sure legal contracts will be enough, to be honest. But it’s a matter of time before we see the first test case. A field day for lawyers…

Mercurior - yes the kids might want support. They might even need support - or they may not. Even if it isn’t money, the thought ofone or more 18+ year olds turning up (or emailing) and saying hi Dad, I’m your son/daughter, you created me” should be cause to pause, so to speak. Anyway, don’t the sperm donors care that their genes are let loose out there? :). I agree donating sperm could be up there as a hazard… and I personally think any laws on removal of anonymity should be “grandfathered” in terms of support and assistance, so that those who had the expectation of anonymity when they donated are not liable. But, it could still be traumatic for both parties and their families. So, to your point, the best way is not to donate sperm at all. Or if they do, fess up to wife, partners and existing children that they have in advance.. and be prepared, with plenty of cash for a smart lawyer.

Of course there is always the chance they might actually want to meet their (potentially) many offspring… some men might feel quite chuffed. I suspect though, that many will simply not donate sperm, given the potential for claims.

]]> By: brightfeather http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3379 brightfeather Tue, 22 May 2007 23:41:33 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3379 I'm thinking that removing the anonymity factor will mean that the sperm banks in the US will be in distress soon. And I'm wondering where will it all end? Will sperm donors resort to having their product bought and paid for under legal contracts to the effect of "no financial responsibility for any live offspring produced" and, if so, would the courts up hold such a contract? I’m thinking that removing the anonymity factor will mean that the sperm banks in the US will be in distress soon. And I’m wondering where will it all end? Will sperm donors resort to having their product bought and paid for under legal contracts to the effect of “no financial responsibility for any live offspring produced” and, if so, would the courts up hold such a contract?

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3343 mercurior Tue, 22 May 2007 07:59:55 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/05/22/whos-your-daddy-the-search-for-sperm-donors/#comment-3343 but you can see how a lot of these baby at any cost, may want to get financial support from other people.. donating will ruin a mans life as soon as ONE person decides to sue for child support backdated. but what if the male donor didnt tell his wife, what if 25 of them turn up , that could destroy his marriage. theres a hell of a lot of pitfalls, and no benefit i can see to the man. but you can see how a lot of these baby at any cost, may want to get financial support from other people..

donating will ruin a mans life as soon as ONE person decides to sue for child support backdated.

but what if the male donor didnt tell his wife, what if 25 of them turn up , that could destroy his marriage. theres a hell of a lot of pitfalls, and no benefit i can see to the man.

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