Comments on: Being Childfree Is Good For Your Mental Health http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/ The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:06:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Dogess http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5994 Dogess Mon, 02 Jul 2007 13:12:44 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5994 My parents always tell me that kids are a worry and that at the tender age of 23, they still worry way too much about their precious daughter whenever I go out and indulge in something where I'm not clad in bubblewrap. =P Judging by how stressed out they get when I have a happy outing as a grown-up and how stressed out people with little babies are, I can believe that your mental health can suffer as a parent. My mother has been honest with me about parenting though and says that it is very hard, can be stressful but it does have its positives. Having said that, they never force the joy of kids down my throat and as much as they'd have liked another grandchild, they respect and support my decision to be childfree. My parents always tell me that kids are a worry and that at the tender age of 23, they still worry way too much about their precious daughter whenever I go out and indulge in something where I’m not clad in bubblewrap. =P

Judging by how stressed out they get when I have a happy outing as a grown-up and how stressed out people with little babies are, I can believe that your mental health can suffer as a parent. My mother has been honest with me about parenting though and says that it is very hard, can be stressful but it does have its positives. Having said that, they never force the joy of kids down my throat and as much as they’d have liked another grandchild, they respect and support my decision to be childfree.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5842 Britgirl Fri, 29 Jun 2007 02:14:36 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5842 Anne-Marie... perhaps you've hit on the key to preventing premature ageing - being child-free ;) Mel and Mercurior - makes me recall a conversation I used to have with a friend of mine who has two small kids... sleeping in was getting up at 7 am every other Saturday - instead of 6 AM when she was usually woken by the kids demanding to play. Every other Saturday her husband was on kid duty so she could get an hour's extra kip. And she worked full time... Anne-Marie… perhaps you’ve hit on the key to preventing premature ageing - being child-free ;)

Mel and Mercurior - makes me recall a conversation I used to have with a friend of mine who has two small kids… sleeping in was getting up at 7 am every other Saturday - instead of 6 AM when she was usually woken by the kids demanding to play. Every other Saturday her husband was on kid duty so she could get an hour’s extra kip. And she worked full time…

]]> By: Mel http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5823 Mel Thu, 28 Jun 2007 12:23:57 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5823 Yeah, Mercurior, I kind of like them to, but without kids, I don't have to worry about it practically consisting of my entire diet. And I second a place miles from anyone. I've already asked my husband if we can become hermits, and he isn't opposed to the idea ;). Yeah, Mercurior, I kind of like them to, but without kids, I don’t have to worry about it practically consisting of my entire diet. And I second a place miles from anyone. I’ve already asked my husband if we can become hermits, and he isn’t opposed to the idea ;).

]]> By: mercurior http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5816 mercurior Thu, 28 Jun 2007 08:51:37 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5816 i know i would be a basket case if i had to deal with children all the time. and i wouldnt be very nice either.. unfortunatly i only sleep like 3 to 4 hours a night, in my insomnia period, and i am a bit.. short tempered, but when i am not in my insomnia mode, i like to sleep, and i get really annoyed if someone or something wakes me then. and mel i like chicken nuggets ;-).. to me its the freedom, i dislike most of humanity, i cant stand most of them, i just want a place miles from anyone, where i get food delivered, or grow my own, and never bother anyone or be a bother i know i would be a basket case if i had to deal with children all the time.

and i wouldnt be very nice either.. unfortunatly i only sleep like 3 to 4 hours a night, in my insomnia period, and i am a bit.. short tempered, but when i am not in my insomnia mode, i like to sleep, and i get really annoyed if someone or something wakes me then.

and mel i like chicken nuggets ;-).. to me its the freedom, i dislike most of humanity, i cant stand most of them, i just want a place miles from anyone, where i get food delivered, or grow my own, and never bother anyone or be a bother

]]> By: Anne-Marie http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5796 Anne-Marie Wed, 27 Jun 2007 23:20:36 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5796 Ha ha Mel, it is totally true. My students, or should I say former students as of four hours ago, cannot believe I am 44. "But that's my mother's age and you look way younger than my mom!" is the standard comment. I just smile and say, "Well, sweetheart, it's because I don't have you to worry about, which would prematurely grey my hair and give me worry lines." While I do think a bit of it is genetic good luck (my parents always looked younger than their peers), my sister, brother, and I (who are all without kids) are remarkably well preserved for our ages. Ha ha Mel, it is totally true. My students, or should I say former students as of four hours ago, cannot believe I am 44. “But that’s my mother’s age and you look way younger than my mom!” is the standard comment. I just smile and say, “Well, sweetheart, it’s because I don’t have you to worry about, which would prematurely grey my hair and give me worry lines.” While I do think a bit of it is genetic good luck (my parents always looked younger than their peers), my sister, brother, and I (who are all without kids) are remarkably well preserved for our ages.

]]> By: Mel http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5778 Mel Wed, 27 Jun 2007 15:02:01 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5778 Not only is being childfree good for your mental health, it is also good for looking much younger than those with children. Just think, fewer worry lines, lower stress levels, getting consistent 8 hour nights of sleep, more disposable income to spend on relaxing vacations, eating a healthy diet that does not consist of chicken nuggets and Jello cups... The list goes on and on... Not only is being childfree good for your mental health, it is also good for looking much younger than those with children. Just think, fewer worry lines, lower stress levels, getting consistent 8 hour nights of sleep, more disposable income to spend on relaxing vacations, eating a healthy diet that does not consist of chicken nuggets and Jello cups… The list goes on and on…

]]> By: RMS http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5777 RMS Wed, 27 Jun 2007 14:28:07 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5777 Thanks for referring your comment back to me. I was starting to wonder if I was who I thought I was! ;) Thanks for referring your comment back to me. I was starting to wonder if I was who I thought I was! ;)

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5736 Britgirl Wed, 27 Jun 2007 00:23:39 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5736 Anne_Marie - I must have been thinking about you :). RMS, it is of course you I was referring to - and I am changing Anne-Marie's name right now..lol. Anne-Marie - you lucky, lucky thing. Enjoy! Anne_Marie - I must have been thinking about you :). RMS, it is of course you I was referring to - and I am changing Anne-Marie’s name right now..lol.
Anne-Marie - you lucky, lucky thing. Enjoy!

]]> By: Anne-Marie http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5720 Anne-Marie Tue, 26 Jun 2007 21:06:45 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5720 Hi Britgirl, I didn't actually respond to this post (was it RMS you meant?) although I did say a few posts ago that the pressure to have children is the same as the pressure to have a mate. I think people tend to want to push "the norm" on everyone, and need to just realise some people want to do their own things, and happily so. I am one working school day away from being childfree for nine weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xx AM Hi Britgirl,
I didn’t actually respond to this post (was it RMS you meant?) although I did say a few posts ago that the pressure to have children is the same as the pressure to have a mate. I think people tend to want to push “the norm” on everyone, and need to just realise some people want to do their own things, and happily so.

I am one working school day away from being childfree for nine weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

xx
AM

]]> By: Tanya http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5692 Tanya Tue, 26 Jun 2007 11:01:59 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5692 Sure we envy the childed. Uh-huh. Yup. We do. Lemme think..... Tax breaks? Uhmmm..... I'll get back to you. Sure we envy the childed. Uh-huh. Yup. We do. Lemme think…..

Tax breaks?

Uhmmm…..

I’ll get back to you.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5666 Britgirl Tue, 26 Jun 2007 03:10:20 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5666 Tanya - That's a really good link, thank you. I can say that being childfree is totally absolutely good for your sex life. In fact I'd say that children and a sex-life are almost mutually exclusive. Except to have more children ;) CFC - :). I saw the whiny comment and I thought you set her straight. I had a lot of fun posting my comment :) Oh, and I hear that many childed folk envy the childfree... I don't know any childfree folk that envy them back - do you? Liz - Thanks! When it comes to having babies it's like society throws any semblance of common sense out of the proverbial window. When I think of women who have undergone depression being encouraged to "have kids to feel whole.." and when I think that some of these women may actually believe it - it's scary. It's a disservice to women. Thanks for sharing. RMS... well said. People are told that it's not okay to be single, you must have a mate. No matter if the mate is actually bad for you... just get a mate. Same with kids. Kids could be the end of you. But all other people care about is that you have them. Many people have said to me they had kids because it's what everyone does. And they don't want to feel left out. Well I'd rather be left out than be a lemming. There are a lot of sleepwalkers out there ;). People just have to get a backbone and think instead of being sheep-like. If CF people can, they can too. Cheers, Brightfeather. And that's just what they are... myths.When you think of it you have to wonder how women have been buying these stories for so long. I suppose it takes a few brave cf folk to prove that they have no basis in truth. Here's to exposing more of them :) Tanya - That’s a really good link, thank you. I can say that being childfree is totally absolutely good for your sex life. In fact I’d say that children and a sex-life are almost mutually exclusive. Except to have more children ;)

CFC - :). I saw the whiny comment and I thought you set her straight. I had a lot of fun posting my comment :) Oh, and I hear that many childed folk envy the childfree… I don’t know any childfree folk that envy them back - do you?

Liz - Thanks! When it comes to having babies it’s like society throws any semblance of common sense out of the proverbial window. When I think of women who have undergone depression being encouraged to “have kids to feel whole..” and when I think that some of these women may actually believe it - it’s scary. It’s a disservice to women. Thanks for sharing.

RMS… well said. People are told that it’s not okay to be single, you must have a mate. No matter if the mate is actually bad for you… just get a mate. Same with kids. Kids could be the end of you. But all other people care about is that you have them. Many people have said to me they had kids because it’s what everyone does. And they don’t want to feel left out. Well I’d rather be left out than be a lemming. There are a lot of sleepwalkers out there ;).

People just have to get a backbone and think instead of being sheep-like. If CF people can, they can too.

Cheers, Brightfeather. And that’s just what they are… myths.When you think of it you have to wonder how women have been buying these stories for so long. I suppose it takes a few brave cf folk to prove that they have no basis in truth. Here’s to exposing more of them :)

]]> By: brightfeather http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5657 brightfeather Tue, 26 Jun 2007 01:56:33 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5657 One by one the myths are dispelled. Thank you for another well written article. One by one the myths are dispelled. Thank you for another well written article.

]]> By: RMS http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5629 RMS Mon, 25 Jun 2007 16:24:14 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5629 I couldn't help thinking you could easily replace "childfree" with "single" in your post and come up with the exact same responses from people. It appears any time you choose a slightly different path from the "norm" most people make judgments about your life. I think it's because most people live basically unconscious lives, following along with the dictates of society without thinking about it. When confronted with someone living their life a little differently, they are forced to consider other ideas and this can make them uncomfortable. Most people don't like to be uncomfortable so they try to change you to be like them or criticize you. A select few do think about society's dictates and decide this is the path they want. For them I say, hurrah, they've made a conscious decision! They also tend to be the people who have no issue with anyone else's choice and they tend to actually be happier. Just maybe not as happy as us childfree! Ha! :) I couldn’t help thinking you could easily replace “childfree” with “single” in your post and come up with the exact same responses from people.

It appears any time you choose a slightly different path from the “norm” most people make judgments about your life. I think it’s because most people live basically unconscious lives, following along with the dictates of society without thinking about it. When confronted with someone living their life a little differently, they are forced to consider other ideas and this can make them uncomfortable. Most people don’t like to be uncomfortable so they try to change you to be like them or criticize you.

A select few do think about society’s dictates and decide this is the path they want. For them I say, hurrah, they’ve made a conscious decision! They also tend to be the people who have no issue with anyone else’s choice and they tend to actually be happier.

Just maybe not as happy as us childfree! Ha! :)

]]> By: Liz http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5624 Liz Mon, 25 Jun 2007 15:15:14 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5624 Right on as usual, britgirl. Childfree Chick, I read that post too. You set her straight, though! I have a long history of depression, and it's only recently I feel I turned a corner. Something women are generally not told is that studies have shown that women who suffer/have suffered from depression are a high-risk group for postpartum depression. It's just one of the many reasons I'm CF - my mental health is more important than bowing to societal pressure, thanks. Right on as usual, britgirl.

Childfree Chick, I read that post too. You set her straight, though!

I have a long history of depression, and it’s only recently I feel I turned a corner. Something women are generally not told is that studies have shown that women who suffer/have suffered from depression are a high-risk group for postpartum depression.
It’s just one of the many reasons I’m CF - my mental health is more important than bowing to societal pressure, thanks.

]]> By: Childfree Chick http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5604 Childfree Chick Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:20:16 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5604 It feels so good to read stuff like this. Some crazed mom just left a whiny comment on my blog and this is just what I needed to spring back. I already have issues with depression because it's prevalent in my family, but I can't imagine what a headcase I would be if I had some little pissant to help drive me off the deep end. Ick...horrifying thought. It feels so good to read stuff like this. Some crazed mom just left a whiny comment on my blog and this is just what I needed to spring back.

I already have issues with depression because it’s prevalent in my family, but I can’t imagine what a headcase I would be if I had some little pissant to help drive me off the deep end.

Ick…horrifying thought.

]]> By: Tanya http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5599 Tanya Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:33:15 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/06/25/being-childfree-is-good-for-your-mental-health/#comment-5599 Being childfree is also good for your sexual health. http://www.stuff.co.nz/4074753a19716.html Being childfree is also good for your sexual health.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/4074753a19716.html

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