Comments on: Why Do Anti-Childfree People Visit Childfree blogs?

By: Alex

Alex — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 19:13:12 +0000

The ‘you were a child too’ arguments are absurd. Children grow up. Yes, I don’t like kids. So what? By opting not to have them in your life, you are taking responsibility to not inflict not only misery on yourself, but an extremely unbalanced person who will grow up deserving better. The sad thing is; many parents end up having them anyway. Save your comments for those people.

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 18:17:58 +0000

there is no child bashing on this site. There is, however the certainty that you are on the wrong site.

By: Lauren

Lauren — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 20:33:55 +0000

I think part of it, is that many people never think of having children as a choice. Because of this, they go into something that is drastic and life-altering without considering that thee are other options. When they find out, it’s too late and they’re curious about their life could’ve been like. They want to justify their decision about having children. You should never have to justify a life-altering decision.

Also, to the person who said something about how child free people get annoyed by overpopulation. Yes, some of us do (I do) because it affects us when land I want to buy is torn down and housing developments are put, species become extinct n=because of habitat loss, climate change, an increase in air and water pollution and a shortage of food and water. I’m not giving up my hopes, dreams and health for your kids so excuse me if I get a bit cranky when I see people having a ton of kids when there are a ton no one will adopt (I’m adopted it’s personal to me). Taking care of the people that already exist is so important. If I ever in an alternate universe decided raising kids was for me (it’s not in this universe) I’d most certainly adopt.

So in a nutshell, I don’t go on mommy-blogs I don’t want mommy-blog people in my sanctuary. Your life choice is accepted by society, mine is not. You don’t get harassed, we do, so we need a space to be free of that.

By: Sophie

Sophie — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:30:12 +0000

I think some of the posters have forgotten that they were all children once – and children are just little human beings! I don’t understand all the child bashing on this site!

By: Liz @ MaybeBabyMaybeNot

Liz @ MaybeBabyMaybeNot — Tue, 24 Jan 2012 23:41:43 +0000

I think I know why these enflamed parents are stalking the childfree sites – it’s because they’re FASCINATED with our kid-free lives. They know we’re the ones spending our double-income-no-kids salaries on lovely vacations, following our dreams of achieving personal milestones, and yes, even spending time with kids we love like our nieces and nephews (as long as we get to hand them back to the parents when they start crying). They miss it, that threatens them, so they feel the need to put down the Childfree to justify their own life choices. Anyone who is truly satisfied with their life as a parent would never come to a Childfree site – they’d be too busy loving their kids and spending time with them. It’s a a little “the lady doth protest too much”, if ya know what I mean.

By: Josefina

Josefina — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 00:00:13 +0000

Interesting post! I came here by googling ‘anti-childfree’ because right now I’m all frustrated about how anti-children society has become, or more ‘age-segregated’ is probably the more appropriate word. I was at my cousin’s wedding two days ago and it struck me how strange it was that children were not allowed, and this couple already have two of their own. When I was a kid I don’t remember ever staying home with babysitters, so obviously a change has taken place. I’ve just moved back home to Sweden after 11 years in the US, and I thought only in the States do parents think you can’t have a good time while the kids are around. I remember my mom and neighbors having parties all the time, with all the kids around, even when they were drinking. And it was such fun!
Anyhow, I agree with what you say somewhere, along the lines of, ‘why first bitch aout how hard it is to parent and then say I should become a parent?’. It totally makes no sense. I could imagine that parents come to such forums (I had no idea they existed till now!!) because they deep inside resent being parents. Parenting in a society that does not value children and family (like the way they do in other cultures, ie Spain and Portugal) is indeed very difficult. Humans weren’t meant to parent in solitude without the daily support of friends and extended family. It drives both the kids and parents nutty. Then they grow up hating one another! I do love being a mom (I’ve stayed home of my own choice, breastfed extensively, coslept, used gentle discipline, homeschooled–till now in Sweden where it’s illegal etc etc), and knowing just how difficult and excruciatingly painful (emotionally) it can be, I honor people who have made the decision to not become parents themselves. I constantly ask myself why people choose to have kids when they have such little interest in their offspring, ie seeing them for an hour a day, yet can’t wait to have ‘time away’ from them! lol. It’s really sad.

When you say that our society is pro-natalist, I conjure the image of parents as factory farmed beings, simply giving birth, but then handing off the kids to institutions to be raised according to State ideology. No wonder we’re do messed up.

By: Heather

Heather — Thu, 06 May 2010 17:35:44 +0000

Oh, Ada. I really hope you can see the irony of your post.

By: Just a girl

Just a girl — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 20:37:10 +0000

I think ‘they’ are angry because they feel discriminated. CF is not accepted as parenting is.

However, I don’t think it’s personal. You see, everyone here says they have nieces, or friends with kids that they admire, and we could start talking about those children and those parents… but then this blog would not be about childfree, but about parenting and kids.

We talk about the bad parents more because we do think those bad parents should be chilfree as well. And we are frustrated that they, themselves, if given the chance to think a bit, would choose to be childfree.

If you consider yourself a good parent, don’t take it personal, because it means we are not talking about you.

By: Ada

Ada — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 19:17:56 +0000

Probably for the same reason that childfree people visit parenting blogs and forums. To lecture us about how “selfish” we are for adding to an already over-populated planet, for using up resources (as if they don’t use up any resources themselves), and for taking our kids out in public places. They also enjoy making vile comments about pregnant women and moms, in particular.

If childfree is such a happy, carefree lifestyle, then why are they so angry? Something is clearly not working for them.

By: New baby « Note to self: Humanize

New baby « Note to self: Humanize — Mon, 19 Apr 2010 19:50:35 +0000

[...] Childfree Blog [...]

By: mercurior

mercurior — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 08:56:16 +0000

some sites are more vocal than others, some are hardcore, some like this we have reasoned discussions most of the time. which is great. its good to have places where we can vent and other where we can really get to the heart of matters.

By: str8six

str8six — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 03:25:22 +0000

As a late 30′s professional, married, CFBC woman and an aunt to 7 nieces and nephews, I can say I went through HELL until 3 years ago when I finally found an awesome OB/GYN who would grant my wish of many many years and performed the ESSURE procedure on me. I finally, for the first time in my life, could enjoy a sexual relationship with my husband of 10+ years without worrying about pills and pregnancy. I knew since I was a child that I didn’t want kids – I didn’t like kids as a kid! I wanted to be around adults, they were more relaxed and easier to communicate with. For YEARS I had to endure constant ridicule and all the prodding everyone here knows about, how I will change my mind later on. They’ve finally SHUT UP!
I find CF forums an awesome place to vent the realities of how todays unruly, rude and spoiled children ruin my dinner plans and shopping trips. Moms with their SUV-type strollers bumping me and running into my heels, and expecting me to hold the door open for them and tolerate the unbearable behaviors of their children. There are some wonderful parents out there and I give credit where credit is due. Sadly, they are few and far between. I thank those with the time and balls to host these sites where we can freely speak our minds on the subject of a childfree lifestyle – thank you!

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 02:10:44 +0000

soma -”However, opinions are just that and to be bothered to such an extent that one feels obliged to say nasty things just isn’t right.”

I am pleased you’ll keep reading. I somehow don’t think you were ever “one of the child-free” if you were waiting to have a child at any point. And on that point, if you read enough on this blog and others, you’ll gain an understanding of exactly what being child-free means. I’m not sure what you’re referring to in your comment on ” saying nasty things” so I won’t bother to address it.

As for you seeing why people come here to bash our views… sorry, but there is no excuse for them, particularly not defensiveness. I do not visit childed blogs to bash their views. They often simply cannot tolerate the thought that some people don’t want children, don’t really care what they’ve gone through – since they freely chose to have said children – … and don’t like the kids they seem unable to control and expect everyone to put up with.

By: soma

soma — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 00:14:23 +0000

Hello,
So, I’m a parent visiting a child-free blog for the first time mostly because I’m just curious. I have no qualms with people who don’t have children. There’s absolutely no reason to have any problem. What I want to say is that I respect your venting and that there are those parents out there who sit on these ridiculously high pedestels and deem who is worthy and who is not. Breeders area breeders and parents are parents, it’s as simple as that. People will have their opinions and I can see why some parents come to your sites to bash your beliefs. When you vent about how unruly children can be parents, naturally, become defensive and think things like, “My child doesn’t act that way!” or “These people have absolutely no clue what they are talking about because they don’t have children and cannot possibly understand what we can go through.” However, opinions are just that and to be bothered to such an extent that one feels obliged to say nasty things just isn’t right. I will continue to read your blog because I do find it very interesting to get the other perspective. I waited to have a child well into my 30′s and it was never really something I strived to do in my life. There was a time when I was one of the child-free, but I’m very happy where I am now. That’s probably why I’m not offended by anything that is said here. Blog away!

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:39:18 +0000

Kim – also wanted to thank you for linking to this post on your forum. I found the responses on your forum very interesting indeed. I found the comment about gay people having children and pressuring others to have them particularly interesting. I encourage readers to go over and have a read of the responses
http://forums.bellaonline.com/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=330847

One thing is very clear to me. And it is worth an article in itself. It’s that childfree blogs and forums are very important and very much needed and the hate-filled envious flamers are going to have their work cut out.

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 23:51:09 +0000

Explosive – Ah yes, the work vs stay at home moms debate. I think that debate is only a little less vitriolic than the bashing that childfree women get. It’s almost funny that they both can agree that bashing the childfree is something they can both agree on and join forces to do so… except that it’s sad really. Here again we have women who have made a choice for their lives wanting turning on others who have made an alternative choice! Sound familiar?

What a waste of energy. What is it about some women (in particular) that they cannot seem to tolerate any other choice other than the one THEY made?

Kim – hello – I have always thought your articles were very well balanced. Pretty sad that some see fit to send nasty email and be destructive. I’m still puzzled how whether my parents wanted kids or not has anything to do with my own choice to not have them!

By: Kim

Kim — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 14:23:03 +0000

We have parents from time to time that visit my site’s forum. More often, I personally get email about how horrible I am, what would I do if my mother didn’t want kids, the list goes on and on.

Usually, with BellaOnline, people just don’t always realize they are at the Married No Kids site, because it falls under the heading “Relationships.” But there are those who set out to be demeaning and destructive, and those people are asked to leave.

I try to maintain a rather “tame” forum, because I don’t want to be another anti-child, family hating site. Married No Kids is more about finding peace with and support for your desire not to have children. Nothing more, nothing less.

Kim
MNK Editor

By: Explosive Bombchelle

Explosive Bombchelle — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 02:54:19 +0000

I have so many thoughts and theories on why “breeders” visit childfree sites and feel the need to pontificate their opinions. The best I can offer is “misery loves company.” Parents who might not be 100% happy with how things turned out for them feel a need to justify their lives, their choices and their existence by telling the world how happy they are and how miserable we must be for not making the choice to have children. The Childfree are also very threatening to parents… who do not understand why we would make that choice. And honestly, there is a great internet debate between the working and stay at home moms… but there is one group they can both agree to bash; the childfree. At least we give them something to band together on…

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 23:26:02 +0000

mercurior.. now, now don’t bait them LOL.
Dave – yes… and it could easily have been so different… for them.

By: Dave

Dave — Tue, 24 Jul 2007 13:16:09 +0000

“you’re resentful that I’m not going through what you are” Think you might have hit the naol on the head there old girl.