I love this! Don’t I just love this! The actual article is called:
10 Good Reasons You May Not Want To Have Kids but aren’t these some really good reasons to remain childfree? I know that I have reasons apart from these, but so far my favourite ones are, errm – well all of them really.
If I was to choose my top 3 though they would be:
2 : Social Responsibility or simply responsibility for children. I don’t want it. Period. I would guess that most people, once they find out just how engulfing this responsibility is, don’t want it either. Even though they may wear it like a hair shirt. But, too late, they are stuck with it. The bad thing is that some parents find they hate it so much they decide to hurt , neglect or kill the child. They’ve been stupid in their choice to have kids, but it seems to be OK to take it out on a defenceless child.
And as I write this I am thinking of the latest child that’s been murdered by their parent. The stories are becoming depressingly familiar. When will it be said – Some people should NOT be parents. Under any circumstances.
10 – They are ungrateful – The number of parents that expect their children to somehow give back to them – parents that is – is funny. It could be via grandkids, the expectation that they’ll look after them, or whatever. Whatever it may be, chances are parents are wasting their time expecting pay-back (except of course those who are already telling their kids “just wait until you have kids…” and expect that they will. They may not.) Children take. And take. They are born to take and they continue taking. It’s what they do.
The universe revolves around them as far as they are concerned and parents had better revolve around them too. And make no mistake YOU owe THEM, not the other way around.
If you feel that something is distinctly wrong with above picture, or it makes you feel queasy, then you probably should not have kids.
3 – They are an economic drain – No matter how much parents struggle to make ends meet they still never admit this. Like it’s admitting failure to even think it. Trouble is, unless you are a multimillionaire or prepared to scrape by and go without, (or are Duggar-like in pocket) kids are not only off the affordability scale, they are actually an economic drain. Think about it.
Oh, and I know some will say “it’s all worth it.” I know, because people (the less than honest ones) are always telling me that it’s worth the hardship, the struggle, the loss of identity, the tears. For them, it is worth it. It is less effective as an argument for me to join them and have my own brood – something I have no intention of doing… ever. And by the way, yesterday someone told me they highly recommend having babies…. sigh.
Over to you… which would be your top 3? Do you have any others? Share your reasons for – or against.
Props to RMS for finding and sharing this one, and to Dirty Writer – for the thought provoking list.
Technorati Tags: childfree
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
the tv shows, i spent one hellish month with my fiancee, whos father has houseguests.. 3 brats and if i hear dore the explorer once more i am going to go berserk, every bloody morning from 7 am to 1pm, the same damn episodes..
i disagree with 8, a lot of strangers in todays world think its cute, mostly parents, its the childfree or the ones most sympathetic (e.g. older people) who get annoyed.
the sexualisation of preteens, thats my big bugbear, 8 year olds wearing thongs, and slut wear, things that even hookers wont wear. whether its done due to the tv teaching them that, or if their parents accept it.
the way children today want, want, want, and want some more, they need this doll these trainers (worth 10 times more than my shoes), and they only last 2 mins, then they go begging for another pair and so on, the grasping mentality
Thanks for sharing that! The whole list is good, but I’d have to agree most with 1, 6, and 10. I can’t stand all the noise kids make! Even if I raised my kids right, I’d have to put up with their ill-behaved bratty friends, and that terrible ungrateful streak kids have would drive me insane.
Definitely agreed about number three… but strongly disagree about number ten. I think the “they’re ungrateful” is more relevant to children raised in nuclear families, where they have no sense of their place in the world and in history. I am only speaking from personal experience, but growing up in an extended family with lots of contact with my older relatives, I have a strong sense of what they did to make sure that I had a better life than they did. I am so grateful for that. IMO children that only grow up with one sibling to fight with and one or two parents that are overbearing, helicopter, “be exactly like me, but perfect” parents turn out to be ungrateful, me-centered monsters. If I ever have children (I’m not sure if it’s right for me), I will make sure that they grow up with their aunts, uncles, cousins, great-aunts, great-uncles, and especially grandparents. That is, if I ever have children.
I’ve never really thought in terms of reasons myself per se. I just never wanted to have kids when I was younger and as I got older I never experienced the ticking of the clock — not at all, ever. I’m perhaps an anomaly here (perhaps not) but I worked with kids for many years and I like being around them (albeit not for extended periods). But yes, I can relate to some of the reasons such as the engulfing responsibility (I liked it when they went to their homes after I was finished work) of being a parent and of course to the financial implications. I could not maintain the lifestyle I have now (travel, home, etc) … and I do like my life the way it is a lot.
I love being childfree and I also love being around kids (less so as I get older, however). Sometimes people who don’t know me well are very surprised to hear I don’t want children because I am so good with theirs….the point being they’re ‘theirs’ and not ‘mine’ so I can just have fun with them….
Thanks for these comments… noir – interesting point. I’m not sure it’s just children who only have one sibling that form the ungrateful pool, but I’ve never seen a study on it so who knows? At least you were one of the grateful ones! I do know that (and sadly have seen several of them) that many kids in general are ungrateful…might be because nowadays they have more of a sense of entitlement and many parents can’t or don’t do much to tell them otherwise. But also, given the need for people to be more far flung than they were before in terms of where they live it isn’t always that easy to ensure that the kids grow up with their extended families… assuming they even have one. I have also heard of parents forever telling their kids how grateful they should be to them… with the result that the kids simply got fed up of hearing it and the parents got upset.
Christine – “the point being they’re ‘theirs’ and not ‘mine’ so I can just have fun with them…” Precisely
Phoena – yep, comes with the territory…
Merc – I think the want want want mentality is encouraged by the parents. For whatever reason. I know I could not have every single thing I wanted when I was a child… I also know that Gen-Yrs have a very big sense of entitlement – and we’re being told we have to be careful how we deal with them…
My main reason for not having children:
Once you have them, they’re yours forever. You can’t ever give them back, and you will never escape.
I’m glad everyone enjoyed the list! I knew as soon as I read it you would come up with a terrific post about it, Britgirl. My favorite reason: 9) Once they are Born you are Pretty much Stuck with them – yep, no return policy at all. I especially like the line about “if they’re ugly or stupid…” It’s such a crap shoot, you never know what you’ll get. Sure your kid might be one of the great ones, but I’m sure all the parents of the lousy ones thought the same thing.