Comments on: Business Meeting? The Childfree Could Do With Less Chat About The kids http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/ The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:37:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Christine http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-8013 Christine Thu, 16 Aug 2007 04:10:12 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-8013 It is indeed illegal to ask about children in a job interview. Same as marital status, religion and a lot of other things. I agree that I think it's also a more female thing to ask about kids. Guys don't as much. It is indeed illegal to ask about children in a job interview. Same as marital status, religion and a lot of other things. I agree that I think it’s also a more female thing to ask about kids. Guys don’t as much.

]]> By: Jan http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7971 Jan Wed, 15 Aug 2007 06:20:36 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7971 I guess I'm lucky, or I send out a "don't talk kids to me" vibe. :) People at school and work some how know not to ramble on about their kids to me. And if I ask, they know not to make it a big deal and tell me every detail. Could be that I'm always the youngest in the group and people think young adults don't like talking about kids. Which makes me worry- when I hit mid 20s and up, is that reason for everyone I meet to blab about their children to me? I hope not. I fear getting older...not for the wrinkles and laugh lines, but the endless childrearing conversations soon to befall. :( Better get a "Hello, I don't want to talk about your kids!" name tag or something. I guess I’m lucky, or I send out a “don’t talk kids to me” vibe. :) People at school and work some how know not to ramble on about their kids to me. And if I ask, they know not to make it a big deal and tell me every detail. Could be that I’m always the youngest in the group and people think young adults don’t like talking about kids. Which makes me worry- when I hit mid 20s and up, is that reason for everyone I meet to blab about their children to me? I hope not. I fear getting older…not for the wrinkles and laugh lines, but the endless childrearing conversations soon to befall. :(

Better get a “Hello, I don’t want to talk about your kids!” name tag or something.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7962 Britgirl Wed, 15 Aug 2007 03:19:06 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7962 "The men who ask me about kids tend to be the ones who have illegitimate babies all over town, and are looking for their next baby’s mama." LOL.. Hillari this just cracked me up... I am still laughing. I can guess what your response to those men is...and interesting that the married men don't talk much about their kids. Mel - Sheesh - I thought you interviewers aren't allowed to ask those kind of questions anymore. If I was asked I'd have to ask what having kids had to do with my job. But then again, maybe they were wondering if you'd have to be rushing off to tend to sick kids... RMS - yes. The best conversations are really those where kids don't come up at all.. or if they do very briefly. “The men who ask me about kids tend to be the ones who have illegitimate babies all over town, and are looking for their next baby’s mama.”

LOL.. Hillari this just cracked me up… I am still laughing. I can guess what your response to those men is…and interesting that the married men don’t talk much about their kids.

Mel - Sheesh - I thought you interviewers aren’t allowed to ask those kind of questions anymore. If I was asked I’d have to ask what having kids had to do with my job. But then again, maybe they were wondering if you’d have to be rushing off to tend to sick kids…

RMS - yes. The best conversations are really those where kids don’t come up at all.. or if they do very briefly.

]]> By: Mel http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7934 Mel Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:45:39 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7934 I actually was asked in a job interview once whether or not I had kids/wanted to have kids and they were stunned (and not in a good way) when I told them no. Personally, I think that should be completely irrelevant about whether or not I'm qualified for a position. Grrr... And yes, it was a woman asking... I actually was asked in a job interview once whether or not I had kids/wanted to have kids and they were stunned (and not in a good way) when I told them no. Personally, I think that should be completely irrelevant about whether or not I’m qualified for a position. Grrr…

And yes, it was a woman asking…

]]> By: Hillari http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7933 Hillari Tue, 14 Aug 2007 15:44:42 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7933 I find that women are more quick to assume that other women they meet, whether in a business situation or otherwise, have children. If you're a woman over 40, other women will question less about if you will have any children, because the assumption is, you're closer to menopause and the having kids option doesn't exist anymore. You would think the women over 40 with kids wouldn't have many "cute" stories about their offspring. However, many of them these days are just now having kids, so they're going on about their babies and toddlers. The rest are going on about their high school and/or college aged kids. The men who ask me about kids tend to be the ones who have illegitimate babies all over town, and are looking for their next baby's mama. The married men don't talk about their kids much unless I ask them. I find that women are more quick to assume that other women they meet, whether in a business situation or otherwise, have children. If you’re a woman over 40, other women will question less about if you will have any children, because the assumption is, you’re closer to menopause and the having kids option doesn’t exist anymore.

You would think the women over 40 with kids wouldn’t have many “cute” stories about their offspring. However, many of them these days are just now having kids, so they’re going on about their babies and toddlers. The rest are going on about their high school and/or college aged kids.

The men who ask me about kids tend to be the ones who have illegitimate babies all over town, and are looking for their next baby’s mama. The married men don’t talk about their kids much unless I ask them.

]]> By: RMS http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7930 RMS Tue, 14 Aug 2007 14:13:17 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7930 "My reproductive state, or lack thereof, is nothing to do with doing business or why I am talking to someone as a colleague or potential business associate." Hear, hear! I so wish people would take this to heart, not just about me but about themselves as well. I agree with the idea of unless I ask, I don't really want to know. And as a woman, I do see that it comes up more from other women than from men. “My reproductive state, or lack thereof, is nothing to do with doing business or why I am talking to someone as a colleague or potential business associate.”

Hear, hear! I so wish people would take this to heart, not just about me but about themselves as well. I agree with the idea of unless I ask, I don’t really want to know. And as a woman, I do see that it comes up more from other women than from men.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7922 Britgirl Tue, 14 Aug 2007 11:05:46 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7922 Dave - interesting point. I thought about that. I think it must be a female trait, because the times I've been asked children questions by men is so rare I can't remember any. Not that children don't come up in the conversation at times, but it is almost incidental. Karen put it very well - including the part about the parental status. Hence it does not occur to them that there might be any other state a woman might be happy with. Dave - interesting point. I thought about that. I think it must be a female trait, because the times I’ve been asked children questions by men is so rare I can’t remember any. Not that children don’t come up in the conversation at times, but it is almost incidental.

Karen put it very well - including the part about the parental status. Hence it does not occur to them that there might be any other state a woman might be happy with.

]]> By: Karen http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7896 Karen Mon, 13 Aug 2007 19:21:19 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7896 Yeah Dave, I do get more kid-comments and kid-questions from females than males. I believe that women see their parental status as more of a central part of their identity than men do. For men it's something they do; for women, it's who they are. Yeah Dave, I do get more kid-comments and kid-questions from females than males. I believe that women see their parental status as more of a central part of their identity than men do. For men it’s something they do; for women, it’s who they are.

]]> By: Dave http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7890 Dave Mon, 13 Aug 2007 12:15:11 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/2007/08/13/business-meeting-the-childfree-could-do-with-less-chat-about-the-kids/#comment-7890 I wonder if asking about kids is a female trait, in business or otherwise. I cant remember ever being asked about my children at any time during my working life, not even by women. After asking some of my male collegues nore can they. Assumptions again I suppose. I wonder if asking about kids is a female trait, in business or otherwise. I cant remember ever being asked about my children at any time during my working life, not even by women. After asking some of my male collegues nore can they. Assumptions again I suppose.

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