No Kid - 20 Reasons Not To Have Children
6 09 2007Or, as we’d say – 20 reasons to be childfree. Here’s the follow up from the article on Corinne Maier’s book “No Kid.” This is what people should be hearing more often from parents, instead of the shocked “ No kids? How could you not want children?”
How could I not? Well, very easily. Nice to have this list. Thanks (again), Corinne Maier for writing this book!
YOU CAN WAVE GOODBYE TO ALL THIS:
— Childbirth is torture
— You will become a mobile feeding bottle
— You will struggle to continue having fun yourself
— You will lose touch with your friends
— You will have to learn a language of idiots to communicate with your children
— Your children will kill your desire
— Children sound the death knell of the couple
— Having children is conformist
— Children are expensive
— You will be duped into thinking that there is such a thing as a perfect child
— You will inevitably be disappointed by your own child
— You will be expected to be a mother before you are a professional and a woman
— Families are a nightmare
— Children will put the seal on your childhood dreams
— You can’t stop yourself wanting complete happiness for your progeny
— Staying at home to look after children is breathtakingly dull
— You have to choose between motherhood and professional success
— When a child appears, the father disappears
— There are already too many children on the planet
– Children are dangerous. They will take you to court without a second thought
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@Jan - yes, isn’t it?
I like them all. But especially this one… “Having children is conformist.”
Great list! I would add that not only do you have to “learn the language of idiots to communicate with your children,” but later in their teen years, they treat you as if you’re the idiot!
People whine about the “terrible twos” but never a mention of the “terrifying teens” which can last upwards of 10 years, really.
I’d say the best reason to not have children is because one simply doesn’t want them. No one would encourage me to get a pet I didn’t want, and raising a human involves much more responsibility.
Her list is so right on.
Yes! I like the conformist one.
But I don’t really understand the last one. It seems pretty rare that a child takes a parent to court. Sure it happens, but it doesn’t seem like often enough to make the list. Maybe I’m missing the point.
They could be viewed as dangerous for other reasons though…like death in childbirth, suicide due to post partum depression, if you have a gun there’s a higher likelihood they would accidentally shoot you than if you didn’t have a kid in the house…I can think of any number of reasons really, though none seems to be that big of a concern considering they’re not THAT common. Seems like parents are more of a danger to their children then the other way around.
My wife likes to say, “Who needs a kid, when you have a husband?”
I think its also important to stop saying things with the number 18 - as in, “It’s 18 years of hell” or conversely, “It’s only 18 years, then they’re on their own.” In what alternate universe do the bratty 18-year-olds we all see roaming the streets go live “on their own?” Usually, this is when the big bucks get sucked out of parents - laptops, college, designer jeans, cars, trips with their friends. In some states, child support is until age 23. And most these days stay with their parents well into their 20’s, whining for money and pursuing some imbecile liberal arts masters degree to get out of going to work. Then they need help setting up their own apartment, and then the parents are expected to finance a “princess” wedding. So really, “30″ is the appropriate number to throw around. Another thing is the quote by the Statistics Bureau that “it costs $200K to raise a child to age 18.” Well, double that since the 18 has become 30. Then add more and more since the $200K only covers food, clothing (Kmart) and shelter. Cell phones, birthday parties, summer camp, college, and assorted plastic crap that makes maddening noise not included. So really, it takes about a million dollars to raise a kid, and 30 years. In return you get a weekly phone call, if you’re fortunate. What a waste!
They now move back home and live there until they are 30. Or sometimes they never leave. So the parents are never free. Instead of booting them out to fend for themselves they let them stay on… and on. Of course they kids know a good deal when they see one. Especially when mama does all the washing, cooking cleaning etc for them…
Watch the Chris Elliott show from the 90s, “Get A Life”. It’s about a thirty year old who lives in his parent’s basement and has never gotten it together. That will convince anyone not to have kids.
Children are expensive, totally true…A couples who married in the same year like us, now are expecting their second child. You know, they still living in a rented flat and no car. Oftenly sigh to us about how much they have to spent for the milk, additional food, medical cost for their first child. This fact keeping me grateful to our childfree.
I think she has pretty much covered it. In my case, i know that i would resent having a bond that ties me for the rest of my life. I am 44 and yet there are still so many things i want to get out of my system, so many places to see, things to do with my partner, intellectual pursuits, languages to learn, books to read, interesting people to meet, marathons to run etc. I don’t want to give it all up to add one more child to an overcrowded planet where existing children starve, the environment is damaged by demographic pressure and consumerism, and soon there will be more bloody wars to secure vital resources for countries hellbent on “growth”.
It is so good to know there are other people who feel like I do, as I have never wanted children, and completely agree with the things on the list, and the comments posted here. I am 38, and have seen way too many cases of single parenting, abandoned/abused and unloved children, ungrateful and horrible teenagers, and completely selfish parents. It is the ultimate in conformity, creating more and more sheep to follow the herd, so there are more and more consumers. I am repulsed by pregnancy and childbirth, the material waste involved over an individual’s time here, and the blind ignorance people adopt when they mindlessly reproduce. I prefer to continue to nurture my relationship with my husband, build my business and enjoy my friendships & interests, and to live an almost completely stress-free life. I feel good that I will not be leaving my “legacy”, and that I will not be contributing further to the mess this world is in. I also agree with foreign body about feeling resentful at having such a bond, and wanting to travel, learn new things etc. Great list!
The things on this list are very true. I am 17 and love not having kids. My own mother had me at sixteen. I was even homeless with my mom. I saw how hard it was to raise a kid. That’s why I work so hard to become an appreciating son. I am in the top 10% of my class, I know Chinese, Japanese, and Arabic. I have played the saxophone for 10 years. I want to become a traveling physician. I will pay my respects to my mother for all she had to do to raise me. On the flipside, she encourages me to live my life the way it is. Childfree. Even with some of my credentials, having kids is just not worth the struggle. If I were my mom, I would put all of that time and energy into my spirituality and helping mankind. No matter how freaking selfish mankind truely is. Stay true to your life and your freedom. God wants us to be happy and not just being a parent.