This is going to be a short one (yes, I know, I’ve said that before) But this time I’m serious. Over the past week there are have been some pretty powerful posts and comments. I haven’t yet read the “mother of all rebuttals” from NFPworks as was promised, but I’m sure it will make interesting reading… or not.
I think there is a lot more to say on both the posts Childfree and Invisible and Childfree – Do We Count and I hope you’ll continue to add your voices to them. Denise from Blogher visited and left a comment. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable when I say it’s almost the same response given before but recycled. You can read it for yourself and my comment. Personally, I wasn’t particularly impressed. Feel free to add your response.
There are two things I want to attempt to do this week rather than a completely brand new topic. One is to get around to reading the posts from other bloggers on the topic of Childfree folk and their visibility last week. The other is to include some of the links on Like It Is. I think many of the blogs should be profiled and that’s what I hope to do, so that others can “discover” them.
I want to end, however on a note from a comment made by Childfreee, on Childfree… And Invisible which I think, sadly, is only too true.
Here it is:
“Most of society simply cannot wrap it’s mind around the concept of a woman choosing NOT to have children. Why should BlogHer be any different? In our culture (as in most cultures) womanhood is squarely equated with motherhood and far beyond any other endeavors in life, motherhood defines a woman. Even the most educated people (who should know better) are rendered speechless in the face of a woman who proudly announces she is childfree. Just the word “childfree” throws them for a loop. Children are something a person could want to be FREE OF? Huh?
It’s going to take a long time for the childfree lifestyle to be accepted and embraced but hopefully with more women and men like us out there blogging and spreading the word, our lifestyle will not inspire speechlessness, but rather interest and acceptance.”
To my mind, BlogHer really is no different and it probably shouldn’t be a surprise to us that they are no different. When you think of it, WE should not be asking them for “representation” on a site that is said to be for “women bloggers” (and mind you, that term is beginning to irritate me more every day). They should be coming to US. They should be striving to be different, but as we know, they do not.
Several of you have made that same point.
I leave it to you to comment on both Denise from Blogher’s comment on my post below and Childfree’s.
Until the next post.
Technorati Tags: Childfree
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Hmmm. Well, they just launched a new ‘Women’s Act’ sub-site, so it can’t be all that difficult to add a site?
While I was perusing Blogher (my first time) I did find this article which left me a little…how should I say…smug?? And really really thrilled I don’t have to deal with raising kids.
http://www.blogher.com/broke-and-childful-middle-class-money-malaise
Every day in every way I am so thrilled I stuck to my wishes to be child-free.
Y’know, my wife can identify with this article all too well. She especially loved the recent incident of one of her co-workers saying, “Whaddya mean you don’t like children? You gotta love children; you’re a woman!”
The runner-up to that comment was from the same person: “You’re not doing God’s will…”
Needless to say, my hon doesn’t work around that obnoxious “lady” anymore. Heh!
Kath – Read it. I so agree!! What gets me is that, despite this… they are still more likely than ever to say to a childfree person ‘Why don’t you have kids?!”
Chris W… LOL!
I think it is painfully hard for people, not even just family, to accept. It’s NOT the norm and usually, those who do not want kids are really sorry that they can not have them, rather than rejoicing in their CHOICE to not have them.
I teach and as such, most days, I like kids. My students ask me if I have kids and I usually say that no, I don’t like kids. They look confused for a bit and then ask if I like them. I do like my students, but not all the time and I can leave them at 320.
My sister in her late 40s knew when she was 14 that she would never want kids. She has learned to put up with other office workers that think she is from some other planet when she says she has no babies by choice. Now, when others are talking about 2 year old timmy and how he burped twice last night with his finger in his ear, my sister will mention how she loves her two children. She will then say they are the two most beautiful dogs in the world and they are way more intelligent than most 4 year olds. haha….. I love it!
I had been reading a book called The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye. Pastor had read this Christian sex manual before he got hitched last month. I told him I was offended by the authors’ notion that people who refuse to have children are selfish and warped.
Pastor responded with the usual Bible quotes. When he got to “children are a blessing”, I gave him a look. “Oh yes, they are, Hillari,” he said in response. He continued with, “You feel like that because you are single. I’ve known plenty of women who like you, weren’t fond of kids. As soon as they were pregnant, their hormones kicked in, and they loved their child.” “What about women who have no maternal instincts?” I asked him. “There’s no such thing. Women are made to have maternal instincts by design,” he answered.
He could tell I wasn’t convinced. “I’ll just wait to marry after menopause,” I cracked. “That didn’t work for Sarah (Abraham’s wife who had a child at age 90),” Pastor laughed. I just shook my head.
Hi Hillari!
So Tim LaHaye and your pastor feel that Jesus Christ and St. Paul were selfish and warped? Interesting…
I took the liberty of looking up your book reference on Amazon.com — some of the customer reviews are a hoot!
@Hillari: The Pastor sounds pretty arrogant to me. I wonder how they presume to know how every woman thinks, and feels. And the way they totally ignore any view that’s contradictory to their own. Not exactly guiding the flock…
@ChrisOH: Somehow they manage to side-step that question.