Happy New Year! If you’ve had it wished you several times already then good. You can never really say it enough. The beginning of a new year is a time of hope and expectation for us all. The New Year is also a time to review commitments and set new goals. Don’t forget to set yours especially if one of them is to contribute to a childfreeblog!
There are two main things I want to do in this post. First, an update on Like It Is.
I’m quite pleased at how successful Like It Is has become as a place to discuss observations, experiences and life in general when it comes to being Childfree. While staying true to being my personal thoughts and opinions on any topic that catches my attention – and some that are brought to my attention – with readers comments it’s become more than just one person’s view of things.The comments, conversations and different perspectives contributed here all combine to prove that we are all different, but we are united by one thing. That we are childfree by choice and we’re happy about it. As others have found us they’ve been impressed by the range of topics, the depth and the quality of the childfree discussion to be found here. Well done everyone.
When I started Like Is I was able to post about three times a week. With working full time, that has always been a challenge. This year I am taking on some new exciting new commitments (which I may reveal at a later date) that are going to impact my blogging frequency. So, my commitment will be to post once a week – more if I am able to. I’ll still be reading and responding to your comments. And of course, if you find any stories, links etc about childfree issues (including your own) that you think I’d be interested in, please continue to email these to me.
When it comes to the childfree voice being heard there’s still a lot more to be done. In fact, we haven’t even started.
Which brings me to my second point.
Childfree blogs. Why are we here? Why Like It Is? As far as this blog goes it’s a place to share as childfree people. While as humans we share many commonalities, as childfree men and women we are united by the fact that we have made a choice not to have children. We are not parents in waiting, and we are not childless. Often times finding a comfortable, accepted place in our child-centred society is difficult because other’s make it difficult, never giving up trying to convince us we’ve chosen wrongly. It’s rare that we can share our feelings freely in our daily life, and instead we find ourselves silently putting up with overriding sentiment – that everyone is parent, or, if they are not, they want to be.
On-line it is a different story. This childfree blog is a place for childfree people to share stories, thoughts and experiences, get encouragement or vent and let off steam if they feel like doing so. Without having to worry about whether parents get offended or not. That’s why we’re here. It’s not a place to be overly polite (or overly rude for that matter) neither is it a place to be strait-jacketed to make the conversation suitable for all. I don’t believe in being all things to all people. That is a recipe for disaster. Your either annoy your core audience and you’ll never please your non-core – who nevertheless will always seek for you to do so.
I’ve always said parents are welcome here as long as they understand that this is a childfree blog, not a parent blog. While many childfree people have parent friends, it’s a rarity for it to be the other way around. Hopefully that will change and maybe reading blogs like this can help with that, but it isn’t the prime purpose of Like It Is. Anyone visiting here to pontificate about how selfish and immature we are, (or similar crap) or to tell us how sublimely happy they are looking for ways to have more children and how we are missing out – is going to be sent away with a flea in their ear. That stuff belongs on mommy blogs. Keep it there.
Here’s to another year of childfree blogging, childfree blogs, childfree conversation and our voice.
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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Thanks for the blog.
It certainly is great to have somewhere to catch up on other childfree people’s stories and feel like I’m not a freak for not wanting to be a parent.
I’m looking forward to your future entries, whatever the frequency!
There must be millions of stories with no children in them. Suppose your children are grown up? Can they be mentioned here then?
Britgirl, I for one am glad you’re here. I guess for all the years that I didn’t have to deal with stories from parents about their babies and children, it’s all being made up for right now. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say the coworker’s wife had the kidlet, others have kids, and so you know what the discussions are all about now. Even the disgusting stories.
I can’t really be CF on my own webpage. And when I write about stuff, it has nothing to do with children, but with what I see and have experienced. So your blog, really, is my one CF refuge here. I’m really grateful you’re here. Many of the CF forums I’ve found (it’s been a while so there may be new and may have changed) were about rants, were moderated by parents (go figure that one) or just not really a space I fit in. There’s one I’ve been on for years, but we’re a small group and have moved on to simply talking about life, and now our elderly parents and us growing older.
Your blog gives me space to be CF and freely express what is going on and what it is like to be CF in a childcentric world. I have much to say but also the fact that this is not *my* blog, I do curb my writing. I can be prolific.
At anyrate, I’m really glad I found your blog last fall. I am a regular reader. Yours is one that is level headed, your views are along the same lines as mine, and I enjoy your writing. (To lurking parents: BION, not all CF people hold the same views. *gasp* We all have differing opinions on things!)
Anyway, Yes! Here’s to another CF year!
Decided – Looking forward to your reading and commenting. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
GB – The point has never been “stories with no children in them” so I’m not sure what you mean by that. Since being childfree is as much to do with never having had children as well as the actual decision if you’ve had children and they’ve grown up, then you’re not childfree. I think the objective of Like It Is is clear. Having said that, anyone is welcome to contribute as long as their comment is in line with the objective of the blog and they stay within our childfree parameters. A review of the posts in the Archive (and I might add my disclaimer) and this post will provide a pretty good idea of what is – and isn’t welcomed on this blog.
CFSinceSix – Thank you! I’m glad you found Like It Is too. I am still smiling at this point you made..”I have much to say but also the fact that this is not *my* blog, I do curb my writing. I can be prolific…”
But seriously, I truly appreciate your comments and input.. and I know that they also help other CF people to identify. Here’s to another CF year!
Happy New Year and thanks for the awesome blog!
Count me in as another lurker who’s VERY glad you’re here. I’m having my uterus removed on the 17th of this month, and I think it’s a good thing for the world as well as for me…
I’d like to wish all the “childfree” that they will understand the impotents of children and even if they are in the way sometimes it is worth it.
what would you do if your parents also thought “childfree” ?!
We wouldn’t know about it!
Uh oh. . .I smell a bridge dweller!
well i wouldnt be here so it wouldnt matter what i thought.
impotent, well that happens when i think that a kid could be produced..
if your children has a chance of cerebral palsy.. would you still have it and let it suffer and possibly an early death.. “If your child suffers from cerebral palsy as a result of birth injury or some other cerebral palsy related medical malpractice” so why not avoid the possible causes of it.
isnt that more caring that the answer. of having baby after baby.. will your life end if you dont have children, name ONE thing that a child can do for society (if you mention it can cure cancer its equally possible that it could create a disease that wipes the planet out).
of course the cynic in me says of course you want more children and more children to suffer, so you can sue the hospitals, and make money for yourself..
I have been reading the archived posts to this blog for over a week. I am currently trying to decide where I fall in this continuum and if I want to be childfree. Does anyone have any resources they can direct me to. I feel all of you have opened my eyes to a world that i never knew existed. I am 34 and finally realized that it may be society that is directing my so called desire to have children and not my true self. Any advise would be wonderful. One question . . . did you always know you wanted to be CF or was it a decision you labored over?
this is a good place to start its not as militant as some sites, some sites are breeder pleasers. bratfree.com is more of a militant site.. theres a whole spectrum of childfree people, people who hate kids, who like good kids, who like kids but dont want any. some who cant have children, but have embraced the cf lifestyle.
i co run one, its not as militant, its pretty quiet. your best bet is to search for childfree and dont let one group make you think we are all like that.
http://thecfcouple.proboards37.com/index.cgi
i Knew i was cf but i didnt know there was groups out there, i thought i may have been a freak and all on my own. i met my wife online and as i talked to her i discovered i was childfree. and i feel more at ease with myself because i KNOW i am.
my wife knew since she was 6 years old.. some people know from the start some grow into it .
as i said this is a great start to look at the childfree life. not too militant and not too apologetic.
I appreciate your comment and will look into other sites as well. I am aware of the attitudes out there. I have experienced them when trying to come to terms with my needs. Like I said, I am new to this life of being CF. I have always thought I was going to have children . . . you get married, you have kids. I see the immaturity, the poor thinking that was involved in that. It took my husband openning a discussion where previously he has always stated he wanted kids, now does not. I now had to evaluate why I wanted kids to begin with. I hit a roadblock and now am here reading and reading and reading. It is inspiring. I am a lover of children (I am a teacher) but I love my life with my husband and the experiences we have together. I will know I will never feel “unfulfilled”
Lisa, welcome. I love BritGirl’s blog. She always posts provocative and thought provoking blogs.
I have always known. Just known, since I was a wee kid that I never wanted kids and had always expressed it (until that expression was supressed with all the “bingos” we CF people hear all the time.)
One thing I want to say: know that you CAN have a fulfilling life without children. Know that your life has meaning without children. Know that you are a full and complete woman without children. Know that you can and do have a satisfying life without children.
Good luck!
Welcome Lisa – Your comment has inspired my next post – which will probably be up when you read this. One thing i highly recommend is reading books about childfree people too. Although there aren’t a ton of these and some are rather dated there are several and they make very interesting reading. They certainly helped me when I was making my decision. I think I read everybook I could find on being childfree! One of the best contemporary ones I recommend is “Childfree and Loving It” by Nicky DeFago. I’m so pleased you find LikeIt Is inspiring… appreciate you spending time here. I also started our simply thinking I’d have kids one day… everyone had them and it was the norm. It was expected. I questioned that norm for a number of reasons, realizing that just because something was good for one person did mot make it necessarily good for me. It was quite liberating, realizing I had a choice – and I could exercise it. All the best!
All the best.
Britgirl – I agree, this is very liberating. I have always been a strong woman – but never felt this much personal strength. I just ordered a few books from Amazon (5 to be exact – I am an avid reader). If that was not in my order I will add it to the lists! Thanks.
CFSinceSix – Your comments are well taken and hit the point I am realizing, my life is extremely fulfilling and full of amazing experiences. Would I really want to change that?? I see many of my friends who are in a life that revolves only around their children (I understand for them it is their life) but I could not imaging not having a life of my own. I have been consistenly told that is selfish!