On Having Patience, Respect and Understanding
1 01 2008If you haven’t read AlphaGirl’s response to The Search For Common Ground, then go and read it. It’s worth it.
I must say this same partial quote on the childfree blog:
“Parents deserve our respect, support and understanding. Sometimes they just need a “wider berth” to get through the difficult years with younger children. Have patience!…..”
was the very one that jumped out at me and hit a nerve. Hence my response on the blog, though I went into less detail than AlphaGirl. And I also know and respect the blog author.
I enjoyed AlphaGirl’s response hugely because it touches on only some of the things that seemingly are oblivious to many childed. Note the terms under which she will give parents “wider berth.” Well said AG. Respect has to be earned. It isn’t a given, simply because one has given birth or produced offspring And let’s not forget what we, as childfree people still put up with daily.
I thought it deserved a mention here. The wonder of childfree blogs! And Happy New Year!
You Have To Be Kidding, Right? by Alpha Girl.
That was a great response/rebuttal to the PW entry. I didn’t comment on AlphaGirl’s blog, only because it’s a PITA to sign in to Blogger, which I hardly ever use, even though my own blog got it’s start there. But I will say this: If anything, the “wider berth” (Do I want a wider birth) also can extend to us childfree as well. Parents need to be more understanding of our indignation when their “pride and joy” does something that would piss off their parents under different circumstances. They need to understand that, while we may or may not know what it truly means to raise a child, we do know that there is such a thing as common decency, and that it can be taught at a very early age.
Signing into Blogger prevented me from commenting too. Can’t count how many times my comments have been “eaten up” by Blogger
But I agree with you. I don’t think parents need a wider berth than they already have. All bets seem to be off when it involves their own child… everyone else seems to come second and has to put up with things they should not have to.
I find it infuriating when people regard children’s needs as more important than adults’ needs. A few years ago a friend of mine went through a period where she allowed her son to crawl everywhere and anywhere that they went. Her reason was “because he needs his crawl time”. For some reason she thought that this need that her child had trumped everybody else’s needs.
In an art gallery he crawled all over the exhibitions, moving different components around so they were no longer in the right place. She was eventually told that, like everyone else, her son was not allowed to touch the exhibits.
In the grocery store an old lady accidentally ran over his finger with her shopping trolley. She hadn’t seen him in front of the trolley. The old lady apologised profusely, however she did wonder why she let the baby crawl around where he could be hurt.
My friend was furious that people were not being as baby-friendly as she thought they should be, and she expected me to support her in her anger. I didn’t. Eventually she got over that parenting technique.
What is it that makes some people think that everyone else should take their child’s needs into account?!?!?!?
I’ve been meaning to comment on this post. I like the purple women blog. Really. She’s very gentle.
When I read that blog entry, I too stopped at the line that you have quoted here.
Sorry, but something or someone will not get my automatic respect. They do have to earn it. I’m tired of automatically giving parents a “wider berth” to what they have to deal with. I have own issues to deal with and do not assume that people just want to automatically hear about them.
Until childfree people in general are treated with the same respect that parents EXPECT simply because they are parents, then I’m not going to automatically respect parents. I am already forced to give them “wider berth.”