Comments on: Having Kids Is Overrated… Let’s Hear It For The Boys

By: Josh

Josh — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 17:37:26 +0000

Karen, so if my solely reason to have a kid is because I want them to be with me if in case I either happen to be alone or disabled, am I dreaming too much? In your senior housing , were there any asian seniors? I once went to one for a voluntary function, and I only saw “white” .

I read this whole post, and I also read one article in another website, I am copying here one part which I think makes a lot of sense:

“As a couple, you both may want to spend more years together, to enjoy life and get to know each other more. Your child will benefit from this decision. Grow together with travel, time with friends and family, and dedication to your careers. This kind of life experience will rub off in such a positive way on any new addition to your family.
“

By: Karen

Karen — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:39:43 +0000

Josh, in theory it sounds great to have someone to take care of you when you get old. Perhaps in Asian culture, children have more respect for their parents. But in the USA, children have become very spoiled. I worked in a senior home, and so many old people were very sad because their children hardly ever (and if ever) came to visit them. Having kids is no guarantee that you will have someone to take care of you when you’re old.

By: Josh

Josh — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 23:53:18 +0000

Hi. In asian culture, one part that we cultivate is like when you get older, your kids will take care of you. Is like an investment. You give the best of education to your kids, and when you get older, or retired, lonely, then the kids will be at your side. I wonder if anyone thought of this? I am not sure if americans/europeans think in this way.

Myself, I don’t have kids, and I am not 100% sure if i want to have kids, but I don’t want to age lonely, or having to live in senior housing one day….
The thought of having my kid to support me (emotionally) when I am old, that sounds like good reason to have kid.

What do you think of my reason?

Thanks,

By: Danielle

Danielle — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 09:42:58 +0000

If my man has a vasectomy when I meet him, I could care less. I don’t want children to be honest. This read has proved me wrong in thinking that all men want with women is kids. Thanks.

By: krull

krull — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 11:42:37 +0000

I love my finance, we’ve been together for nearly 6 years. We just got a great new place together but I feel that this perfect little world will collapse one day when we have a kid. I don’t believe the species has any real point to propagate itself and I am so deeply opposed to reproducing that I worry it will jeopardize our realtionship one day. I’d rather have several nice housecats and spoil them.

I see having a child as a life-altering event that will siphon my money and free-time ultimately ushering in my death quicker then I would please.

An alcohol induced coma seems preferable.

By: FierceGeekChick

FierceGeekChick — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 14:54:09 +0000

If that’s what makes you happy, go for it. You aren’t likely to fine anyone around here who’ll try to convince you otherwise. If you WANT to get married and aren’t because of the threat of children, I think that’s a little silly. Marriage doesn’t have to mean children, and staying single isn’t a fail proof prophylactic. Realistically, it’d make more sense to say you’re going to be celibate to avoid becoming a parent, but again, if singlehood is what’s going to give you the happiest life you can have, more power to you.

By: thief0

thief0 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 03:35:56 +0000

As I’ve said in another post, I’m a young single man who has already decided not to have kids. What I’m thinking to do is, to simply remain unmarried to avoid children! That’s how strong my desire to be childfree is. What are your comments on that?

By: Lori F

Lori F — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 13:03:01 +0000

Wow,
This is great! As a bar maid for over 20 years I have heard more sad stories then I care to think about. I feel bad for the guys that have been duped into fatherhood who didn’t want it. I can’t tell you how many times I have been told that same tale over and over. Fella’s, the female of the species is far more deadly. Please, head for your friendly urologist and have a vasectomy. It takes less then 10 minutes, its painless and you will never have to fear unwanted paternity. Don’t allow the female to dictate.I am female, childfree by choice and I LOVE my freedom. Lets get serious about stabalizing population and stop having unwanted children just because someone’s biological clock is ticking.

By: roxetterachel

roxetterachel — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 17:10:25 +0000

the fathers i know in my circle of friends could be the authors of any one of those posts! they seem worn out constantly and make comments all the time about how much of a pain their kids are. the moms, on the other hand, live in moo-ville and all they talk about is their kids and kid-related activities. i feel sorry for the guys. marriage is about each other, and kids… well, they pretty much screw it all up.

By: Jose

Jose — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 04:57:51 +0000

Do you know how great is to have a vasectomy and have sex with your girlfriend without remorse?

By: CFGrl4Lyf

CFGrl4Lyf — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:17:55 +0000

I’m so thankful to find there’re more of us out there! I’d searched online before, but this is the first time I’m getting such a hit on this topic! It’s such a relief not to feel like a freak for not wanting to produce crotchfruit and spend the rest of my years being held responsible for them. I like my life the way it is. I’m responsible for myself and only myself. People get jailed for neglect for the most retarded things! When my (now ex) boyfriend wanted kids, and kept telling me I’d change my mind, I knew I had to get out of that relationship. I’m so tired of people telling me I’ll change my mind! Everyone says the same damn thing, and it just isn’t true, not for us CF people anyway. Thank you so much for this!

By: Melly

Melly — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 02:57:53 +0000

Those women now must facing fact that number of men in the world is much less than women. Men have big opportunity to pick. And I’m sure the smart ones, won’t pick them who already have children. Without loosing my emphaty to them, I just tell the truth.

By: Britgirl

Britgirl — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 00:29:13 +0000

CFSince Six – ditto. And my husband was the same… he met plenty of women looking for a daddy for their children before we connected.

By: CFSinceSix

CFSinceSix — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 19:08:54 +0000

expatgirl, no matter how much I liked a guy, if I found out he had kids, he was immediately dumped. I fore saw all the things you are currently talking about, and even THAT I didn’t want to put with.

I may have passed up some nice guys, but quite frankly they’re not worth the trouble that old baggage of children with a previous woman brings.

Good luck to you!

By: expatgirl

expatgirl — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 14:00:21 +0000

I wish my husband had thought of all this! He had two kids with his ex-wife and it sucks. They waste our time, money and are a constant sourse of tension. The idiot slut that popped them out used to call whenever, for no reason whatsoever. As if anyone gives a crap about her imbecile “thoughts”, every bloody visit is a drama, and the amount of money in child support is staggering. Then of course we pay for the privilege of babysitting these stupid brats when they come here. I had to tell my husband, before we were married, that this is not for me. Luckily, he understood and the visits have been curtailed, the phone calls put an end to – he calls the children on their cell phones once a week and thats that (yes, of course they have cell phones – the slut they fell out of doesn’t work, of course but the child support pays for cell phones), and the holidays are not assumed to be wasted on these children. What I would give to have them piss off forever! I dread every visit. They contaminate my home, and the sight of my husband touching them revolts me. If a price was named to be rid of them, I’d pay it. I’d sell my property, beg, borrow and steal. My friends are horrified – Would you want to be with the kind of man that abandons his children? Bla bla bla – YES! Desperately, totally and completely, YES! One is ugly, the other one stupid, and both look like their half-retarded moo. Thank goodness we are moving even further away and their visits will be once a year. I cannot wait! My husband so regrets ruining his and now our lives, but really, it’s a breeding cow’s world out there – all that a dumb slut needs to do is get knocked up and she never needs to work a day in her life. It’s appalling. The man is the one who is stuck financing these mistakes (well, and his new wife, too.) It is completely unfair, but that’s something to think about for the guys – you will be financially ruined by these brats whether you stay with the moo or not, your vacations and holidays will blow, and your sex life will diminish whenever the brats are in your house. Plus instead of adult food you get to eat microwave chicken nuggets and assoerted other crap all the while sitting on a plastic action figure. What fun!

By: 4evrchildlessgrl

4evrchildlessgrl — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 21:28:35 +0000

Thanks for that, I really needed it! I’m tired of feeling like a villain for not wanting kids! My family just doesn’t get it, that some people don’t want kids because they just don’t, and that it has nothing to do with something being wrong with us! I love kids to death, such as my cousins who are little, but I need my distance for the 24/7 kind of life. I want my own life and I’d like to find a man who’ll want the same things as I do. I’m only 18 so I’m not in a rush, but since I’ve known about what I’ve wanted for so long I know for a fact I’m not going to change my mind. I mean come on, it’s not like our species is dying out, there are millions of people who suffer because there aren’t enough resources to support them. It’s not gonna hurt anything to, (like “m” mentioned above) have a loving relationship with a spouse in place of like 20 years worth of stress and restriction. (and I should add that I don’t judge people who do make this choice, in the same way I’d expect them not to judge me) Personally I’m looking forward to becoming a successful doctor, getting my pilot’s license and playing endless amounts of sports and video games with my husband while having hot sex anytime we please.

By: m

Fri, 23 May 2008 22:43:14 +0000

I’m a dad — 2 kids, older teenagers – lovely kids, no complaints. Couldn’t ask for better kids But I regret having them and how it changed (destroyed) our life and marriage.

Having kids absolutely can ruin a marriage. And I disagree with a previous post in here (and others) that this happens because the couple didn’t know why they wanted kids, or didn’t really want them.

No. It happens because young parents don’t realize how pervasive, life-changing, and RELENTLESS an effect children will have on your life. We are fed these lines of bull from our parents, and child-rearing books, and from society in general, that it will be only “temporary”, that we will rearrange our lives and find ways to keep the “spontanaeity” there – “you just have to work at it.” That the reward of watching your children grow will be worth all the time you miss out on with each other.

These are the same idiots who describe giving birth as “a little uncomfortable” (no joke, that’s the term our childbirth instructors always used).

That’s how it happens, man. It looks like it will be nothing but joy and satisfaction to raise a darling child with the woman you love. Then you wake up 20 years later, look back on all the quiet, soulful, intimate time you have lost with your wife, and realize that you basically traded a passionate, care-free, loving relationship with a woman for 20 years of stress, work, and loneliness.

If just one man reads this, decides not to have children, and 20 years from now wakes up in the morning with his wife in his arms and thinks how lucky he is and how glad he is that they have dedicated their lives to each other, then my posting all this will have been well worth it.

By: mercurior

mercurior — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 18:28:26 +0000

and marie hilley, marybeth tinning, the lisa montgomery case. Deanna Laney (who stoned hers),

and these women who were obsessed with having a child and killed for it.

And these are “better” than us??????

http://www.crimelibrary.com/notorious_murders/women/women_killers2/12.html

These are women who want children so badly they will kill other pregnant women, just for the child.

By: Emma

Emma — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:50:25 +0000

Slight correction…her name is Diane Downs, not Diane Downing.

By: Emma

Emma — Sat, 22 Mar 2008 15:41:21 +0000

“Having children is difficult, but it makes you a better person. ”

Really? Then what kind of people must Andrea Yates, Susan Smith, Diane Downing, Debra Jean Mike, Susan Eubanks, Michelle Sue Tharp, and Darlie Lynn Routier have been before they had children? Children, I might add, that they murdered.

Interestingly, according to the American Anthropological Association, more than 200 women kill their children in the United States each year.

I think that’s a pretty good statistic to thwart the “having children makes you a better person argument.” But if you want to go on believing that women who choose to have children are somehow “better people” that those who opt for a different path in life, you go right ahead and live in your perfect little bubble world. Me? I prefer to live in reality.