That leaves the rest of us one big mess to clean up and what a good thing we dont want kids! Because if we did WHO would be here to catch the falling world while they were busy changing diapers and wiping butts?

QUESTION EVERYTHING!

I asked my friend about this and she just said “Oh, well, the worse your day is with the kids, the better you try to make it look on Facebook or else you feel like crap.” (huh?, but…whatever.)

I had one mommie aquaintence who was constantly doing this, so I used to post things like: “Slept in until noon with my gorgeous hubs, now we are drinking margaritas on the beach!” just to annoy her. She is obsessed with the baby weight, so I would make sure to mention when I had second helpings of mac & cheese too. (So… I’m an a-hole. In this case…I defend my actions…she is just awful.) She defriended me, and at a party the other night one of my “cool”parent friends said; “Dude, when you used post that sh*t it made all of us with kids sick with jealousy. We all used to talk about how annoying it was to hear about how long your afternoon nap in the hammock was.” I was all like HA! That’s why I did it. Now stop posting pics of your kids dirty nappies….for god’s sake…STOP.

So…beware the glowing, all singing all dancing FB posts…it would seem they are from people trying to convince you that they are gloriously happy. Not all of course, I mean, I am sure parents are plain thrilled when little Satsuma or whatever gets her kindergarten diploma…but a good portion of those “my life is wonderful with toddlers!” posts are bogus. More than one person has fessed up now that I ask them directly.

And on a side (smug) note…
The rumers are true….every single one of my friends with kids says that their sex life is NON. I guess after being climbed over with grubby little hands and feet all day you just aren’t in the mood to get down.

I used to hear the “honeymoon” lasted two years…funny…this is usually when the kiddles start to come. I have been with my DH for over ten years…and trust…the honeymoon is still on.

I believe some parents DO love being parents. They’re gluttons for punishment in a way.

Other parents know they’ve been duped but a) want others to make the same mistake, misery loves company b) know it is far too taboo to proclaim their bundle of joy is making them stressed and unhappy and c) cognitive dissonance.

The article I posted provides an answer for why so many parents assault us with bingos about how fantastic being a parent is:

“When we have invested a lot in a choice that turns out to be bad, we’re really inept at admitting that it didn’t make rational sense.”

There ya go. Parents lie because they don’t know they’re lying. They have to tell themselves and other that their choice was a good one. The alternative is too painful.

A parent’s whole identity anymore is their parent status, they are just Mommy or Daddy. Browse the Facebook profiles or any other social network site of these parents, every picture and post is about their kid. Mother is martyr like never before, and it’s getting out of hand, in my opinion. They spend so much time telling us how wonderful it is, and how it’s The Most Important Job In The World (Take THAT, brain surgeons, oncologists & firefighters!) , they just have to let everyone know how much they are sacrificing & how satisfying & awesome it all is. If it were so damn wonderful, they wouldn’t have to sell it so hard. Funny how anytime you observe kids & their parents in real situations, it doesn’t look like the Kodak moments they paint for us.

I am 33 & married 9 years, my husband and I have such a great life together that I’m amazed all the time how it’s still so good. I always believed everyone when they told me “it’s only like that in the beginning”, but I never realized they meant “until the kids come”… My parent counterparts are so much older looking, more exhausted, generally more worried day to day, and fit the stereotype “mom” or “dad” look, it’s scary. I have worked hard to keep my body trim & healthy, I cannot imagine disfiguring myself with ruined abdominal muscles, stretch marks, a permanent poochy “mummy tummy” even after losing the weight, & stretched out droopy breasts (and stretched out other parts), I would be so depressed & unhappy. *Shudder*.

All in all, if people want to have kids and truly enjoy the parenting experience, I am happy for them. Finding what makes you happy in this short life is really the goal & not the same for everyone. BUT, for the love of God, parents – stop trying to beat it into my head how incredible every waking moment is, stop posting every minute of your child’s mundane day (Little Skyler ate peas today!!) on Facebook, and most of all, STOP implying that your life is so much more meaningful & important than mine just because you reproduced. It’s not!

I never had the “urge” to have children, and when I was forced to babysit and care for others children I came to the conclusion that I never wanted children. I have no preconceived illusions or fantasies about being fat, pregnant, with sagging breasts and strapped down with a couple of kids.

Now when I go to a store or restaurant and I see a harried mom with screaming kids I just whisper to myself “birth control, birth control”.

I have an incredible husband and I cherish our marriage. I don’t need children to validate who I am, or what I want in life.

Your article is SPOT ON!!!!!!!!!! I agree with 10000% of what you said!!! I could type the word BINGO!!! until my finger or my keyboard broke……..one or the other!!! Way to tell it like is is JB!!!

Thanks!!!

Steve Timm

YOU guys are all making an awsome point.
Most people will never admit these things coz they think it sounds heartless and horrible.

i have an almost 2 year old son and i love him to bits…but i must say having him really took a toll on my career which had to take a back seat. As he was constantly sick and in and out of hospital…..
I am 27 and my career stood still for the last 2 years as i only worked partime here and there.

I look at single people or even married couples without kids… to me they having a blast – going to theatre shows, doing sporting activities and doing tons of fun things without a care in the world.

I love the outdoors and doing things like road racing, hiking, running,surfing, sandboarding and many more but now i am limited simply coz i cant expect my parents or babysitter to look after my kid for long hours while im having fun.

I simply cant take woman who revolves their whole life around their children and never make time for themselves.
Some woman actually feel they have to have a child to prove they is capable and worthy.

I still believe that you come first. That a woman should have the freedom to have hobbies and go to gym everyday.

But it is truely something to think about coz kids really rip your time from you and they r unpredictable…………..

Although women have 9 months of temporary difficulty, the fact remains they are still pampered by many men and women (ie, family, friends, strangers) through gifts, money, attention, spa treatments, free dinners, and in general, people will treat her extra special all because she is pregnant. Heck, even the malls/businesses now offer pregnant women close parking like they do for handicap people. Furthermore, if she happens to have connections she will have midwives, or other women to help her during the first few months.

Conversely, men have to shoulder the all the financial responsibilities of taking care of the said pregnant woman with NO HELP. His boss could care less his wife is pregnant, he might have to work MORE hours just to make sure things are paid, and nobody will give attention to the husband and buy him free meals at all while his wife is pregnant. And even after the baby is born, a man will rarely get a break, all bills must be paid and the family must be protected at all cost otherwise men are looked at as failures/”deadbeats”.

This makes me think of something I read that said women will always be able to produce breastmilk for their child, but men will never always have abundant periods were they can hunt wild animals or find jobs to feed their families.

The bottom line is that when a couple chooses to have a family, it’s mostly the man who gives up the greater portion of his LIFE to be able to provide the resources to ensure a stable family life. For women however, it’s OPTIONAL, she can be a good SAHM, she can be Mrs. career woman, or she can flat out be a good for nothing mom/wife. Regardless of her choice seicoty will not critise her at all.

These spoiled children grow up to be fat, lazy, and unappreciative of what they were given in life. Also, even though these children had all kids of lessons in a wide variety of fields, rarely do these children grow into adults who have actually MASTERED any of it so what was the point?

The truth is, it does not cost much money to achieve excellence, some of your world class sportsmen, or well known businessmen started from very humble beginnings.