More bingoes a little later. Or maybe not.
This particular childfree bingo is cleverly disguised as a supposed or intended compliment, and is usually casually tossed out at your average childfree person with such certainty it almost makes your head spin. Like, how does 2+2 equal 6?! But, yep – Bingo Is His Name-O.
It can come in various guises and isn’t particular to men or women – regardless of whom it’s directed at, it’s still stupid. The bingo of course is the gushing “ooh, but you’d make such good parents/such a good father/such a good mother!” WTF? I tell you I’m childfree and you tell me I’d be a great parent, based on… based on what, exactly? Because children like me? Or something you discern that in all my years of knowing myself I’d never actually discovered myself. It’s a mystery, since usually the people who say this usually know next to nothing about me or the childfree person they happen to be addressing. Yet somehow they know we’d make great parents??
Personally I think that childed people say this to childfree people when trying to get them over to the childed side. Whatever their reason it’s a subtle version of “you’ll change your mind.” Or rather – “you should really change your mind…look at how good you’d be!” And note, it can be based on something as simple as getting a child to go to sleep, reading them a story or simply if the child takes a liking to you. I mean, please!
A friend of mine goes to see an old friend of his. They knew each other when they were at school. My friend who we shall call Sam is happily childfree. His friend (who’ll we’ll call Bill) is divorced and has two kids. His lifestyle is isn’t one that Sam would want to imitate. Turns out that Bill’s ex-wife had insisted on having the kids – even though he was a bit on the reluctant side. Obviously not reluctant enough as it turned out, since it takes two to tango. Anyway, x years after the divorce, he’s just happy to be able to see his two kids as frequently as he does within the agreement.
He doesn’t see them every day, but he does get to see them which is something.
Yet, not too long after getting together with Sam, Bill loses no time in asking Sam “did he never want to be a father?” Sam says no, he never did.
That doesn’t stop Bill. Out he pops with “But you’d have made a great Dad! And kids like you”
“Er, no I wouldn’t have made a great Dad,” Sam says. Kids like me, yes, but that hasn’t a lot to do with being a good parent.
Next Bill says “well,having kids was the best thing I ever did. You’d have like being a Dad. I highly recommend it.”
Sam decides he’s made his point and only adds that nope, he likes his life just as it was (he’s happily married by the way) and had no regrets. He certainly had no wish to swap places with Bill – ever. And he’s pretty sure not being able to see your kids except on scheduled visits can somewhat dampen the wonderfulness of being a father. Not ideal.
It never fails to amaze me that people trot out the “oh you’d make such a good parent” rubbish knowing next to nothing about the person they’re speaking about. And they seemingly know next to nothing about parenting either. This being the case it can only mean that they don’t really care what the childfree person’s point of view is, the only thing that appears to count is the fact that unless the person’s breeding (or showing signs of wanting to actively breed) they need convincing that they really should be parenting.
Worse, to counter this bingo you can get caught up in a lot of negatives if you try to disprove the bingo. I rarely try, usually just shaking my head and saying I’ve no wish to become a parent regardless of whether or not I’d have made a great parent.
Of course there are variations of the bingo. Such as the “right” parents breeding the “right” kind of bright, smart babies. And I’m sure you can think of several more. Some childed people only need to see children and childfree folk getting along and out comes the bingo. Sometimes not even that.
Do the childed possess some kind of special power that can tell whether a childfree person would be a “great parent?” Does the fact they’ve reproduced give them some special way of knowing me (or anyone else for that matter) better than I know myself?
If yes, then I’d certainly like to know how that works. I mean, I would never dream of telling anyone they’d be a great parent even if they were actively contemplating reproducing. Even parents who thought they would be so-called “great parents” didn’t really know it (and obviously we can see that some who thought they would be “great parents” should never have had kids in the first place.
So, if the answer is no, then my advice is for the childed to engage their brains before their mouths, lay off gushing nonsense about who’d make great parent, and leave childfree people to live their lives as they see fit – as happily childfree with no need for children.
{ 39 comments… read them below or add one }
Brilliant story..haha! Its obvious who`s got the misery in his life. But what make some feel better, than trying to point out the imagined emptiness of others lifes.
I have experienced similar situation. A distant relative, which I spoke twice to the last 15 years. Dont exactly remember how we entered the subject, speaking to him in the streets on my way to the grocery-store. But during those 7 minutes of conversation, he managed to tell me how I should really become a father, and how he highly would reckommend it. Also…”It was ALL worth it”!
Happy childfree day!
i spent many years working out who i really was, i know i am bad tempered sometimes, i know i dont have much respect for fools.
i like my stuff in the right place, i have my own system. i have my own routine. and i get that bingo mostly from people who dont really know me.
they make a judgment on 1 hour with me or a little more or less, and judge me to be a great father, a smart father, who needs to pass on my “greatness”.
they dont have to live with me, if i was someone else i wouldnt want to me to be a father. if i did have a child i would neglect it. because i get so wrapped up in things i forget to eat or drink. so I know me better than anyone.
I’ve had this one a few times. I think one reason why even though I may have been bingoed, more often than not I also just shrug with a clear indication that this conversation is over. Most people get it, atleast, most people in my life have.
I’m 39. I’m not getting bingos lately and your recent blog posts have been making me accutely aware of whether I’ve been bingoed lately. So far so good. *knocks wood*
I’d get this bingo when I was younger. A lot. Especially by family. And like I’ve mentioned in my last post about no longer trying to educate the uneducated, I’ve not bothered to try and disprove a bingo. Because really, you can’t. You can say, “I’m not an early person” and the parent will respond with, “You’ll adjust.” There’s always some sort of response by the parent to your “disproof” of the bingo. And heaven forbid you say you don’t like kids. You’ll either be met with an aghast gasp or the other bingo, “It’s different when it’s your own.”
The response to bingos, IMO, is to end the conversation. Period. I don’t even really want to discuss my not wanting children. I remember the few times I was bingoed with the “good parent” one. Again, being a smart ass stops the conversation – and I have said this. “Of course I’d make a great parent. I make great money, I’m smart and educated, and I’m an all around great person.” Or simply say, “I know.” And stop it right there. I mean, what can you say to that? Nothing, really.
I guess I have a way of nipping that conversation in the bud that many people cease with the bingos. I can see, however, how annoying it is. Why do I have to defend my lifestyle choice? I didn’t put it up for them to judge. And when I’m being bingoed I take on that attitude and the “discussions” usually cease.
As with most bingos, this one is all about joining the parenting herd. God forbid you be different and make a different choice! I find most parents who gave me this bingo (or most others) felt somewhat threatened by my childfree status. It was as if I had exposed to them another way, a way they could have gone if they’d bothered to think about what they wanted to do in their lives instead of just blindly going along. The parents who actually thought and decided tend not to throw around bingos. They’re happy with their choice and allow for me to be happy with mine.
But the parents who toss out the bingos, well, that’s a telling tale in itself!
“But what make some feel better, than trying to point out the imagined emptiness of others lifes” – Lurker –
I think that pinpoints it, LOL. I couldn’t have said it better myself!
Ukshell. I have read most of former posts and comments here, in times when need of some support for my Cf-choice.
RMS. I also experienced, how content parents do not bingo so much. But the contact I had with them, before they decided to reproduce, are still less. But I assume, this to be caused by their need to make other priorities?
Cfsincesix. I have to admit, that Cf-life and especially Cf-blogging, is still partly a “secret” part of my life. But in future, I want stand defenceless and accept bingos, even if I see how you risk loosing an argument. Maybe though, the best thing is to just end the topic before the argument starts, which is much like what I do today.
Mercurior. They are right…I can already see what an fantastic parent you would have been..:)..Really sure you are not up to it…(Ps! If this is a really bad joke in the first place, its probably not doing any better, when someone not native english-speaking, is trying to hit it..).
I love bingos, but then again I love to argue. Funny thing is, I’ve only gotten this particular gem from people who do know me. I get the idea they think it’s a complement.
My bf’s sister once said “You are so good with those kids, you’d make a great parent.” after watching me hang out with the kids for a couple hours. I just turned to her and said “Of course, I am drunk and everyone knows kids LOVE drunks.” Funny thing is, she hasn’t bingoed me since…she hasn’t talked her mother or sister out of doing it, but she’s certainly stopped.
dont worry lurker.. i read it as dark sarcasm..;-)
i obsesse about things, i suffer from insomnia, and when its really bad, i have to watch zombie movies.. they put me to sleep.
i am clumsy, i have nearly knocked myself out just by sneezing. i have broken so many things. i slipped on a non slip mat, my shatter proof glasses shattered, i blew up a chemistry lab..
When friends are discussing their desire to have children, we should respond, “Eh. No. You really shouldn’t. I don’t think you would make good parents.”
As for me, I know I would make a good parent. Still doesn’t want to make me become one!
Lurker said:
Being CF is a secret for me as well. I’m not overt about it. I have a personal web page but I don’t talk about being childfree on there at all. I have coworkers who are parents but don’t nag me about it. Generally speaking, I simply don’t like talking about being CF except for here on BritGirl’s blog.
i am a more obvious cf. i co run a forum, i run a cf blog. i tell everyone.
on this board and others.. but its not the whole of my life. i have other interests, being cf is one of them.. but i write stories, i do some spreadsheet work, i research.
i have no problem in being more vocal, in fact i can be vocal for those that arent, if i can get one person to think about why they have kids then i am happy. but thats me. i love this blog. but i talk and talk as you may have noticed
As usual, these are all thought provoking comments – thank you!
“As for me, I know I would make a good parent. Still doesn’t want to make me become one!”
Nessie – So true. I wonder why childed people find it so hard to get over that. The fact that I – or any other childfree person doesn’t want to be a parent – or parent – is the only thing that counts…
not:
Whether it’s worth it… I don’t care.
Not what their parenting experience tells them… it’s irrelevant (and I don’t care).
Not even how much they lurrve their kids – and “couldn’t imagine life without them…” (and how many times have we heard this one?) that’s a product of their own limited imagination and not my fault.
“i am clumsy, i have nearly knocked myself out just by sneezing. i have broken so many things. i slipped on a non slip mat, my shatter proof glasses shattered, i blew up a chemistry lab..”
Oh, and your suggestion for a response made me laugh. Great response!
Ah, but mercurior – isn’t it amazing how that can be so easily brushed aside? Somehow, miraculously it would all disappear
Lurker and RMS – I can safely say that contented parents never bingo – at least the ones I know don’t. In fact, most of my friends who are parents tell me I’m wise to be childfree!
CFSince6 – Another great response. And you’re right why do we have to defend or justify our choice? I have to be in the mood to educate – apart from blogging of course. Sometimes I nip the conversation in the bud, like you, other times I do tell them, because it may be the one and only time they ever hear something different. My reproductive choices are my business. but it probably won’t surprise you to know that there are some childed people who have never met anyone who doesn’t willingly want children. Imagine what it would be like the other way around!! And wouldn’t it be nice if the childed and wanna-be childed didn’t insist sharing their reproductive choices – and the attendant details – with me!
I have not been bingoed in a while which is good but thats because most people who know me know the scoop.
I did get asked on the phone at work a while ago but it wasn’t a bingo per se….I was chatting with a colleague who I don’t know in person (just on the phone occasionally) and she was talking about her daughter’s music lessons. I’m not sure how the topic came up but it was germaine to the conversation — I don’t recall feeling that she worked her kid into out chat. I’m chatty and we talked about this topic for a bit. She then asked me what lessons my children took….I guess she figured we were the same age (which indeed we are)…I told her I don’t have children and she seemed surprised but did not ask further. I did not tell her I was childfree — none of her beeswax, really — I don’t know the woman. But it was odd.
Another thing I was thinking about. I know a few other women who don’t have children and I sometimes wonder if they are childfree like me or if they are childless. I never want to ask that as I imagine it could be upsetting if the person wanted children.
And I also thought of a reply to “you’d make such good parents”….
“I don’t think we would because we don’t want children….and that wouldn’t be fair to them, would it?”
Love the response to the “you’d make such good parent”.
I’ll be using it for sure! Thanks!
Sorry Lurker, I meant I absolutely agreed with your comment….!?!
I thought you had summed up parents bingoes perfectly with that one phrase…. the whole thing about parents trying to pick holes in CFers *supposed* lackings. I was jealous I’d not thought of phrasing it like that myself in the past, hence my comment. I was being complimentary.
I am CF, I’m not here to knock anyone!
Hello
UkShell. I just did not know exactly how to respond…I wasnt looking for glory…hehe…
Once I was mistaken for a TROLL, because I was not clear enough…not good at all..:)
I also like to keep a low profile.
Mercurior..I must admit I had a good laugh from your comment too.
Britgirl. Most of my parent friends, I known from childhood years. I dont mind to a degree hearing about or be with their children. I understand, that some opinions about bringing children into the world, I dont need to discuss with them about. I can see how my own rythm and priorities are somehow different from theirs, and honestly I can see how our lifes go different ways.
Is all this making me very sad..Not really!
Hi all, my post doesn’t relate directly to this particular bingo as in responses to it, but more to the actually being a good parent part of it.
My mate Rob from work and I went out for a walk to the mall in our lunch break a few days ago and we bumped into a woman he knew. I walked on to let them catch up. When he caught up with me a few minutes later he said that this friend of his was in a really bad mood because she was pregnant again (8 weeks). She said to him, “I’m not happy at all about it I’m really pissed off”. I asked him why was she whinging about it, why didn’t she book in for a termination. He asked her the same thing and he said she looked at him in horror and said, “But that’s killing a child”. Talk about being a bloody martyr! I think it’s far worse to bring a child into the world that’s not wanted than having a termination if you’re not ready for another child.
Anyway, more on the direct topic. I bumped into an acquaintance the other day who is 28 weeks pregnant and she kept telling me that I would change my mind about having baybees because her and her hubby did and that I’d make such a good mother. I asked her what changed her mind and she said she was out shopping one day and passed the baby clothes section with all these adorable clothes and thought “That’s what I really want, a baby, a cute baby to dress up”.
Aussie Childfree said:
Imagine me rolling my eyes. And THAT is why she had a baby? Everytime I pass the baby clothes section I think, “Thank GOD that’s an expense I don’t have!”
Generally speaking, I simply don’t like talking about being CF except for here on BritGirl’s blog.- Cfsincesix
I can relate to that! Sharing here, dissolve the issue for me.
Time for some good Cf-sleeping (sorry mercurior…). Good night everybodyl!
I have only had a bingo like this once.
Some friends of ours has a 1yr old. We did our best to stay in contact with them through the pregnancy and becoming parents, and like to see them happy with their baby. They are good parents.
We have never kept our childfree decision a secret from any of our friends, but it’s not a normal conversation topic. A few months ago the conversation somehow turned to whether we would have children, and we had to reveal that we didn’t want to be parents. They are good friends of ours, and they clearly enjoy being parents so we tried to put it delicately, and not offend them. Luckily it seemed to work, because their response wasn’t defensive, and didn’t annoy me.
They said that parenting definitely isn’t for everybody, but they had presumed that we were more interested in children than we are. They said that they thought we would probably make good parents, but then again they thought we would probably make good accountants too, and they would never expect us to do either of those if we weren’t interested.
Conversation quickly changed topic, and we happily moved on. We still see each other regularly, and neither of us bring up the topic. Part of me wonders if they still think we’ll change our minds, but I’m glad they didn’t say something like that!
)
Lurker – Looking back at my original comment I realise I could have phrased better. It can be read in a different light to what I intended. I’ll be more careful in the future
Anyway, glad we sorted it out 
BritGirl – looking forward to your next entry. Reading your blog makes me feel better in this childcentric world
UKShell. Yes, when looking more into it, I now see how it can look like you mock someone…but I think you have to twist the meaning much around to think so….and I did not….I got your meaning first time.
Just wanted to express, that after reading almost all the comments from earlier posts here, by you and the other longtimers…I found much support.. and it would have been impossible to not pick up something. But thanks anyway!:) Now! Finally I hope we have sorted it out..haha..:)
I often find myself thinking: ” This is no illusion, I am really so happy its not me”, when I see parents strolling their kid in the baby-wagon. My conclusion is, that I like kids and think as myself as good parent-material, if I just could overcome my agony for parenting:)
CFSinceSix. Ha! Got a good a laugh the image of you rolling eyes
Now imagine me trying not to roll mine when acquaintance was telling me what made her want a baby! Instead I smiled politely and said “awwwww”. I am the great pretender 
Aussie Childfree,
Really, that is all we can do. Politely smile. It’s called being courteous. And by my count, childfree are far more courteous to breeders and parents than we, as a group, have received from them, as a group.
I’ve had to do the same with a coworker whose wife recently had a baby. I hated that baby shower – surrounded by parents and them telling their stories, I had money extorted from me because it was assumed I’d willingly give.
I admit, my motivation for that was to keep peace at my job since I like it there and at the time I liked my team mate. Now.. he’s an even worse prick lately. And such a breeder!
yes there is being courteous, but sometimes that can bleed over into being a pushover. its a fine line.
i am always polite, unless someone has a go at my family then the gloves are off, i try to put a balanced view. neither pro or anti.. just balanced.. and it does work on occasions i have had a few people on the fence and they say.. maybe i wasnt right..
i just like putting the view of the cf.
I get this particular bingo all the time. You wanna know why? “Because you are so good with your dogs.” Yes, I’m very good with two furry creatures who eat once a day, crap outside, can’t talk back, sleep all the time, stay home alone while I’m at work and think the world revolves around me. Just like having a kid, right?
I don’t get this bingo or any other bingo tossed at me any more. Once one has made it clear to friends, relatives and co-workers that they aren’t interested in such discussions and, that you will not raise to nibble any bait, they give up fishing.
Granted that giving up does take some people longer than others to accomplish but I helped them along. Whenever the subject matter was aimed at my childfree state I walked away from the conversation. It didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing I just got up and walked away without a word being spoken.
However, I have observed that some other younger childfree folks like to be bingoed so they can enjoin in battle and reassure themselves that their decision was the correct one. Or, alternatively engage in the battle so they convince others to make the same choice. MEH
Never forget that if you are firmly decided, then you do not have to convince anyone else that your reasons for remaining childfree are sane and legitimate — you do not even have to share them with a single soul. Your reporductive choices are your own personal business and no one else has a right to pry into your personal affairs.
i think that it can be a good thing to be more upfront. but it can also give a bad image of the cf.
A lot of the younger cf are the more radical,more vocal, and that shows that the older cf have had an effect on the younger. its becoming more and more accepted by the newly cf. and they will fight back however they can at the injustice.
like any movement, as it grows and people know the truth, feminist organisations in the 60’s, the black rights in the 50’s, the gay rights in the 80’s all started by a similar process. so yes you get more rabid but you also get the people like britgirl like aussie like cf since 6, and lurker and many more who are the more stable, who actually can use the power of these people.
so anything that helps us as a group, is good. (but there are massive divisions that we need to solve before we can truly become accepted, some have the idea that all cf are women, that men are the breeders forcing women to have children after children. that religions are to blame for all the breeder actions. THIS is what is going to cause more problems within ourselves we have the power of self destruction) at least this is my opinion and thought.
I consider myself a quite newly decided Cf, mostly because I am still within the age, where many people start to reproduce.
Being Cf, is not the most essential part of my life either. But if you sit on the fence in this matter, like every other matter in life, you stand much weaker when your decisions are being tested.
My strongest card, is that I really dont envy the parents, even if I can become facinated about their kids.
If I start to doubt myself, I think about overpopulation and remind myself of the less attractive parts of parenting. The extra FREEDOM and money, is also important.
Having a child, seal your fate. I find no logic reason to reproduce, its all about selfish and emotional longings. If the worlds survival depended on it, I would surely take my responsibility.
Its time to start planning my next vacation. Beach, palm-trees and nice meals.
i have been 3 years KNOWING, but even before then i sort of knew. as i grew older i realised i dislike 95% of all children. How arrogant some of these children are, they know it all, even at 7 or 8 they know better than an adult.
i could never see me being a father, if i was with a woman and she felt she needed a child i would have said oh go on just leave me alone. I was fooling myself. Once i realised i wasnt alone, that we area group exists, it was a very liberating feeling. i didnt need to hide what i knew in my heart. i could come out and say, no kids for me.. the sense of peace and enjoyment the idea has, is something i would love to spread the idea you dont have to have children to be fulfilled. I am an activist in fat acceptance, childfree and mens rights (i want everyone to be treated the same, the 3 i mention affect me personally so i fight for equality and for those reasons)
Thinking back on it, I never really liked to conform.
I started to question, wether I wanted to live life in stress and worries, for the sake of raising a child.
At first, I sometimes felt acting against my instincts. I started to read numerous articles and message boards about being Cf. But I was maybe more a fence-sitter during this time.
I made my permanent decision about 3 years ago. Been evaluating my choice since then, but finally stopped jumping back on to the fence, and know I made the right choice.
Its not my responsibility to produce children, for either future wife or potential grandparents. I have informed them all about where I stand in this matter.
If today`s young people, think more about the Cf coice, that would be progress. Maybe not for the owners of the large coorperations, but surely for the planet.
I am not very militant when it comes to being Cf, but for those preaching from the Cf bible, I want stand in the way. We need to reduce the number of people in this world, if we want to deal with alle the problems of war, pollution and poverty.
Wow, I wish I was surrounded by people who fully accepted the decision I was very clear about nearly 13 years ago… so many of my friends and family give me hell “for my own good” because I’m going to “grow up and realize I made a major mistake.” Because of hearing that over and over and over I started getting a bit more militant if not for me then for my oodles of female cousins under the age of 20 who get both direct and subtle messages that they will have children some day “because that is what women do.” If any of those children grow up and realize their reproductive destiny is in their own hands then my battlescars were well worth it.
It would indeed be great to be surrounded by folk who simply fully accepted the childfree decision. Unfortunately the reality is that most childfree folk are either surrounded by, or come into contact most frequently with, people who don’t accept it, even when they say they do. These people take it upon themselves to base their assumptions on “what everybody does” and “what they did” to come to a conclusion that if one says they are childfree they are simply going through a stage en route to parenthood.
While I’m confident about my own decision (enough to blog about childfree stuff) I always remember that there are many who aren’t as certain, or as confident get bingoed out of nowhere and have no means with which to deal with the supposedly well meant but ultimately thoughtless comments coming their way.
It was because of the stupid things that childed people say to the childfree that actually got me writing this blog – although at the time I had no idea that there were so many childfree people out there.
Brightfeather – you’re fortunate to be able to simply walk away. And I think may be easier to end a conversation with friends relatives and some co-workers. When people don’t know you and still presume, it’s not often easy to walk away – particularly when you’re in the middle of a meeting for example.
I’m not personally aware of anyone who likes to be bingoed for any reason… however I think the more people that hear that there’s an alternative to having kids the better, and the only people they are going to hear it from are those are childfree.
It seems to always be appropriate to talk about getting pregnant, not being able to get pregnant, having one kid, 2nd and 3rd kids, parenthood, everything kid related . while that is the case I think we need, in our own small way, to speak up for ourselves whether it’s replying to a bingo or correcting some childed ignorance.
Lurker – “Preaching from the childfree bible”? I hope you don’t think that’s what we’re doing here, because it’s far from it There is no childfree bible, every childfree person is different and I would say what unites us is that we took a decision not to have children and are happy with that decision. Unlike most childed people I have yet to see childfree people advocating that everyone should live a childfree life (though it would clearly have been a good idea if some had). From the time one is young, particularly women, it is drummed into them by everyone that our sole purpose is to breed children. There is a full list of “Though shalts” all geared to breeding. While there’s no childfree biblel, there most certainly is a childed one. I’m childfree and I could quote you chapter and verse!
Decided = “They said that parenting definitely isn’t for everybody…”
You know that phrase is beginning to irritate me… like only a certain type of exclusive person is qualified to parent, when in fact it takes no thought to become pregnant, they’re probably only doing it because it’s expected or some other predictable reason, and since you’re stuck with the child you’ve no choice but to parent it – good or bad.
Being child-free definitely isn’t for everybody. You need a spine, you need balls, a certain feistyness, a good bullshit reader and the ability to own your own identity – and your own mind.
EBC – “If any of those children grow up and realize their reproductive destiny is in their own hands then my battlescars were well worth it.”
Hear, hear!!
Britgirl. “Unlike most childed people I have yet to see childfree people advocating that everyone should live a childfree life (though it would clearly have been a good idea if some had)”.
I think this summed it better up. There is definetly no Cf-bible. But if someone more agressively than me, want to express the Cf view, thats fine. Even just so people can see there is an option.
I am childfree too! A minor procedure 3 years ago, made that certain. And yes, I can understand your agony about all the quotes you get for making an “unpopular” choice.
The whole society is build up around having children. Just because having them, takes so much effort, and no parent would manage if it was different. The funny thing today, is that so many parents still wants to live their own lives, as if they did not have kids. I guess seeing someone not chosing to have kids, do not make their feelings any better. Struggling every day, to get time and money meet, no wonder they feel the need to attack those living less worried. But the mistake is their assumpiton, that Cf people are low standard, with no abilities except running from responsibility. This could not be more far from the truth. I wish the parents focused more about talking sence into those obviously not capable of parenting, instead of attacking a group of people, which is not a treat to anyone. Better to take advantage of what Cf people can contribute with, because we are not just a group of people only wanting to play, sleep, travel and have a clean house.
I recieve quite some pressure, from different people around me. I have mostly been easygoing, parents never had much problem with me. But! I have no desire, to be guided every step the rest of my life, even if I dont plan to escape my duties to the society.
Its nice being less dependent of our stupid politicians, its great some idiots with kids (not all of course), will not influence my life the same way they would if I had kids myself.
I would prefer 364 days per year of bingos, if only 1 day was filled with the sence of satisfaction my life has, by knowing I followed my own choice instead of taking the “easy” road like so many others.
This blog is great! Glad I got this off my chest.
My husband and I used to get this bingo, particularly from his mother. Once my husband’s brother produced the first grandchild, the pressure was on for us to produce a cousin.
We couldn’t so much as look at our baby niece without getting some variation of this bingo: “You look so good with a baby” “It’s people like you who should be having kids” “You’d be great parents” “Your niece needs a cousin”
Feh. I kept thinking “For cryin’ out loud, lady, I’m 40 years old. The factory is CLOSED.”
It all went away two years ago when I had a hysterectomy. Now I get the bingo in the past tense: “You would have made great parents”.
Lisa: “It all went away two years ago when I had a hysterectomy. Now I get the bingo in the past tense: “You would have made great parents”.
Speechless. it would be funny if it wasn’t so blooming annoying.
i would have made a good astronaut too, apart from the fact i am clumsy, i am too tall too fat, too…
i would have made a good demon king.. for pretty much the same reason..
i would have made a good millionaire too but for 1 thing.. i dont have any money;-)
I just discovered this blog, and enjoy it immensly.
Just wanted to comment that it’s funny, but I get told by my childed friends “I’m glad you aren’t having kids, you wouldn’t make a good parent”. I don’t know if that’s an insult or an attempt at being supportive….