For me it could be difficult to fight for the CF status because I have a lot of interaction with kids and parents in my job. Most of times I enjoy meeting the kids and also sometimes the parents, but I cant help catching myself thinking I am just giving away a show since I keep silent about my own reproductive choice.

After reading all the interesting comments here it sounds to me I am not the only one “adapting” when it comes to our Cf-status. I dont mean that we are afraid of expressing our choice, but that we put up with more than we sometimes feel comfortable with.

The focus should definetly be more on who are not capable of having children. The society are not prepared to deal with all the misbehaved kids. And because we never know who is going to end up in jail/be a murderer etc..Its a really bad argument to tell someone having kids because of their bright or beauty.

Strangely all the people i have talked too, who used to bingo me, suddenly says nothing about it ;-).. I have no idea why? LOL

They see my passion, my vehemence, It may not be for everyone speaking to others, and thats good too, i just can and do talk about it only of my skills.

mercurior - LOL. Hopefully they then learn that having a kid doesn’t give them the secrets of the universe and that they think before they meet the next childfree person

I was thinking of this post and all the comments this week. And I thought how sad it is that, after all the struggles women have gone through to be seen as independent thinking individuals, rather than support women regardlesstheir choices women are the harshest childfree critics in our pro-natalist society.

Telling a woman of any age that she’ll “change her mind when she meets a man/gets married/her husband wants children… is so backward in this day and age, it’s hard to believe that thinking still exists.

I support every person that rejects that backward thinking… and those of us who have had to endure it for years -more power to us.

I don’t mind an intelligent discussion on the whole thing and I will happily answer questions. I think that people should be allowed to ask and learn as long as they’re not going to stand there telling me how I’m “wrong” and that they know me more than I know myself. I always emphasise that I do NOT speak for every childfree person and that everyone has their own reasons.

I am so lucky to have friends who have children and they are really understanding about my decision and support it. First ever time I told some of them, they were quite shocked and a couple of them horrified but when I explained myself, they understood and although some to this day totally disagree they quit lecturing me.

Alternately the parents I meet who do not make such remarks are the ones who have also gone through the same thinking process I have and chosen to have children. Because it was a conscious, deliberate choice for them, they don’t find the childfree choice threatening. It’s just a different choice to theirs. They have already done their thinking. Another’s decision has no bearing on their own.

Only the people who don’t think about it beforehand get angry and by then, it’s too late. You can’t change your mind about kids once they are there.

i have gotten the You’re being immature for not having kids, having kids make you grow up. once people see my passion for not having kids.. I think people on this board know that LOL.. they generally stop.

I hate, i mean really hate, the idea that a stranger knows more about my life, than i do. I know i would be a bloody awful father, i have problems, that these people dont know. yet they assume they know better

as if spooting out a kid, somehow gives you the secrets of the universe. thats what i really hate. and i go for them.. i rip them a new one. but thats me. perhaps the next time they speak to a cf, they may say i wont say anything incase merc hears about it..