I like you am highly sensitive to loud noises. For example, when I go to the store and a child starts screaming and crying I have to LEAVE as quickly as possible. On several occasions I left the store without completing my shopping because I could not tolerate the noise level.

I am also a very anxious person who takes meds for the disorder (OT but I have been told to just get over it or suck it up. Uh yeah, I tried that for the first 25 years of my life. I know how THAT turned out) and I get VERY nervous and uncomfortable around children.

I don’t hate kids. I’ve met some kids I like and others I can’t stand. In fact, I have yet to meet anyone who is childfree who hates or dislikes kids so much that the person wants to wipe all children off the face of the planet. If I saw an injured child, I would do everything in my power to get help for that child.

Neither was a primary factor in my decision to have kids (my reasons are my reasons), but they certainly are good reasons not to have kids.

Some people don’t “get” being childfree because it challenges their view of the world, society, men, women, and marriage. It causes them to have to move outside their comfort zones. Nothing wrong with venturing outside our comfort zones.

-Jean

She uses the word hate, but she is genuinely not a hateful person by nature. Children truly make her feel uncomfortable when they’re around the general area. As in “ready to claw the ceiling” uncomfortable. So basically she hates the feeling she gets when children are around.

I’m not a hateful person either. I use the word “hate” as well. You can say this describes me rather well.

Children are unpredictable. I get that. They will be children. They will find some reason to have a blood curdling scream at the top of their lungs during dinner simply because they feel like it or want to grab attention. NO ONE can predict when that will happen. This is why I do NOT LIKE CHILDREN AROUND ME. At all. Period. I’m a highly sensitive person. Loud noises disturb me. Shrill actions and uncontrolled movement disturb me.

Quite frankly, no. I do NOT like children. At all. And yes, I do have a reason for that. It is what I just described. People who are not highly sensitive can’t get that. Or parents who have become numb to the extreme movements, sounds, and smells that children make don’t realize that others are NOT numb to those things. It’s also a known fact that women lose their memory and get “ditzy” during and after pregnancy. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s some sort of biological reason so as to help mothers get numb to shrill noises, uncontrollable behaviour, and horrible smells.

“I’d say it’s more likely you are hating the child misbehavior or screaming or misfit antics.”

I’ll clarify: I said my wife hates kids, not I. However, hate is a strong word. She uses the word hate, but she is genuinely not a hateful person by nature. Children truly make her feel uncomfortable when they’re around the general area. As in “ready to claw the ceiling” uncomfortable. So basically she hates the feeling she gets when children are around.

(I know this is pretty late, but I popped in just to see what went on, out of morbid curiosity)

I didn’t mean to come on again, but I just felt that I should reply to you, since you replied to me quite cordially. That’s the only reason I’m posting this only for you because you do bring up some excellent points.

“The fact remains (although you ignored it) that all children are most definitely not all innocent, sweetness and light. And, sorry some are pretty darn manipulative and nasty. Some are horrible. When kids kick an elderly man to death, I call that evil. ”

I agree with you here. Children are not perfect. That situation you mentioned is pretty evil, to say the least. What I ask here is where were the parents to discipline?

“Equally bad are the parents who have children and mistreat them in many ways. ”

I also agree with this. This is what I blog on most because I hate it far more than anything else. I have far more respect for someone who chooses to not have children than for someone who chooses to have a child and then abuses them.

“Sometimes children can be very horrible people.”

Look, you bring up some excellent points. Children aren’t innocent and I believe it’s the parents’ responsibility to keep their child from turning into a horror. But, like you said, some parents are neglectful and don’t care. The sad thing is that this horrible child most likely will turn into a horrible adult.

“And, yes, some childfree do not want kids because they just do not want them. Period. We are always asked why we don’t want them. And frankly it’s none of anyone’s business.”

You know, prior to meeting any childfree people I used to ask people that didn’t have children when they planned on having them. Now, because I’ve met some childfree people, I don’t ever ask. I never ask someone without kids why they don’t have kids. Like you said, whether or not to have children is none of anyone else’s business.

And that’s why I no longer blog on this subject. I’m sorry if you took my post the wrong way. It’s been a month since I blogged on that. A part of me regrets ever opening up that box, which I had no business opening up in the first place. Yet another part of me is glad because it has taught me to be more respectful of those that have different choices from mine. I just think I really have no voice in this matter because it’s not something I really care for. I’d rather just live and let live at this point.

Fortunately I am coming to the end of my fertile years, so I can expect all this to stop over the next decade or so. I feel for those in marriages or relationships where one wants kids and the other does not, because my first serious relationship broke up over this when I was in my twenties. Back then I knew I didn’t want them and I don’t want them now.

Disliking kids doesn’t mean we wish them harm. But I don’t see the point in trying to pretty up my opinion of kids just to make others feel better. I don’t like kids and I’m better off not having them. Thank goodness for blogs with common sense, that give the childfree a voice!

The fact remains (although you ignored it) that all children are most definitely not all innocent, sweetness and light. And, sorry some are pretty darn manipulative and nasty. Some are horrible. When kids kick an elderly man to death, I call that evil. Or when they carry knives with the sole intent of doing harm - and use it. When they terrorize neighbourhoods and communities. And when they kidnap other kids… well, let’s not go there, shall we? FTR, I don’t hate kids, I like some of them, (and that’ because hating takes energy and I prefer to use mine on better pursuits) but mostly I am indifferent to them - except if they are the ones I happen to like. Others have already given you their views and I don’t need to repeat them.

Equally bad are the parents who have children and mistreat them in many ways. With the number of abused children today, parents should be wringing their hands in collective shame at the trust they’ve betrayed.

Making blanket statements like “children aren’t horrible people and they don’t deserve to be hated…” is as meaningless as saying all kids are wonderful or all kids are bad. Sometimes children can be very horrible people.

And, yes, some childfree do not want kids because they just do not want them. Period. We are always asked why we don’t want them. And frankly it’s none of anyone’s business.

Not wanting kids “because”? This is the only reason I ever need, and I’m not interested in justifying it to anyone. Personally, I’d rather throw acid in my eyes than have children, but hey … each to their own. And generally speaking …I do hate children. I can count the number of kids I’ve actually liked on one hand and still have digits left over. If a kid and a dog were drowning in the river, I’d save the dog.

The whole thing about having to explain ourselves to parents is geting really old. I’m just waiting for the next parent to give me attitude, because I’m going to reverse-bingo them until they beg for mercy. Unfortunately, I don’t run across that many parents ; -) Seriously, why do you even care? If you’re happy playing families, what’s it to you, unless you’re just on some holier than thou superiority kick?

I think it would have been much better had she allowed that blog entry and its comments to remain and then posted her apology, instead of pulling the original entry and apologizing for something that no longer exists…especially when the comments she received may have helped her change her mind. It’s possible they could have helped change someone else’s mind about the childfree community, too.

But, you know, it’s her blog and she’s free to do with it what she will. Even if her choice is, in my opinion, pretty lame.

That being said, what I don’t get is why we’re denied to hate some kids. I don’t hate all kids for starters, but they have a potential for me hating them, depending on their potential behavior. When I see a kid in the commuter train, for instance, I always wonder will it stay put, therefore I like it because of it, but it still leaves me indifferent, or will it scream its head off and act like a total ass, therefore making me hate it and its parent for giving me a major headache. I hate some people I meet for the first time. Same goes for kids. Sometimes I don’t really need a reason.

I just saw that someone was trackingback my post. I was curious as to who it was.

And no, I don’t normally frequent CF boards or blogs. It’s kind of useless for me to do that. I just wanted some people who read this post to know that I really don’t hate childfree people and I don’t think they are all evil-child haters in the least.

What can I do to convince you people of that? I haven’t written on CFdom in a while because I shouldn’t. I’ve kept my nose out of issue, so to speak. So why are people still picking on me?

One of the commentors on my blog left the link back to this website. That’s how I found out about it.

FTR: I don’t think all childfree people are radical people that hate kids. My post says that.

” Bad parenting, Close minded parenting, Badly behaved children, Parents not disciplining them, Letting children become feral animals. Thats what we object too, and so should you as a parent.”

I do object to bad parenting. And I object to people who think they can parent like that. Children SHOULD be taught to behave, etc.

Since posting that nearly a month ago, I have run across many very nice childfree people. I’ve seen their blogs, postings, whatever and I can understand their POV. THAT is why I no longer feel I should post on this issue because A) I am not childfree myself and B)I shouldn’t judge others decision.

Also, if you browsed around my blog you’d notice there are some stories of bad parenting and bad parenting books. IMO, I would much rather be choose to be childfree than to have kids and treat them like that.

I’m just sick of discussing this issue. I don’t really care about what people decide to do in terms of childbearing. I should’ve never blogged on the issue.

So You did Come looking for this site, which is childfree.

If you read Dr Mohler about childfree (not childless), about this topic, Why follow his/her link to them. So essentially They caused all the aggravation, Because they have a Blind spot when it comes to children.

Not everyone who is childfree hates children, a lot of us dont like to see children hurt, or abused in anyway. Does that mean we would let them die. NO, So we can’t hate children as you seem to assume. If we went around beating up children, then yes. BUT we don’t.

You are assuming That all childfree are like those radical boards, Which are a rant board, Sometimes they say wow what great kids and parents, Did you ever see any of those topics, Or did you just Check out the bad posts?

Bad parenting, Close minded parenting, Badly behaved children, Parents not disciplining them, Letting children become feral animals. Thats what we object too, and so should you as a parent.

Just because we choose not to have children, doesnt necessarily mean we hate them. I love my cousins kids, i dislike most others, the badly behaved ones. And can you blame us.