Either that, or he has a (century-out-of-date) Lamarkian view of evolution (i.e. the passing on of acquired, rather then genetic, traits– get and education, and your kids will be born knowing calculus!)
But yeah, that’s just messed up.

@ Rebecca said “She didn’t consider that I would never, ever marry somebody who expected to raise kids. Withholding my plans to remain childfree would be downright CRUEL.”

Yup– whether or not one wants to have kids is definitely HIGH on the list of things that needs to be out on the table as soon as the relationship looks like it’s getting serious.

A few answers:
15. I am– a child is a human being, not a little 401(k) with arms and legs.
(When people ask this, I wonder if they named their kids Roth and Ira)

28. What if no one became a doctor/firefighter/garbage collector? Then we’d have a health crisis, several major cities would burn down, and we’d all be stuck in a big, stinking mess.

37. HELL no!

38. Darn, I know I left it around here somewhere… unless we accidentally threw it out when cleaning up last week. Oh well.

I had this conversation once:

Me: “Why would I ever need to have kids with my (hypothetical future) husband?”
My friend: “Because you love him!”
Me: “I don’t need to have kids to prove that.”

She didn’t consider that I would never, ever marry somebody who expected to raise kids. Withholding my plans to remain childfree would be downright CRUEL.

LOL! That is close to what the breeders do; spew forth both the crotchlings and the vitriol without much thought.

Oh yes and I too wind up with that amazing piece of knowledge that dogs aren’t children. When people say that, I normally respond with “I know, that’s one of the reasons I love them.” I also add that dogs don’t verbally say “I want,” don’t need school uniform and don’t throw tantrums even if they can be naughty in their own ways and puppies can be nightmares.

We both believe that being parents is a calling that God gives you, just as He would call you to be a missionary, pastor, teacher or accountant. To help encourage others, this is a verse that my husband and I hold onto dearly: Genesis 18:19 “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household…” People want to know where we get our ideas from, there it is! God calls certain people to be parents and we’re just not one of them.

It’s very eye opening to read through those 40 questions. I’ve been asked most of them in my life and have endured many eye raisings and not so subtle overheard comments, not to mention the blatant comments as well. So this is just my long way of saying, thank you for your strong stand and for so beautifully writing your convictions! You’ve been a huge blessing to me!

~Aryn

i get that one too cf4life.., but i have an even better one.. i should breed because i am white.. not only is this racist.. but WTF??

Have read this by people (that we whites should breed) and it makes me see red! I am (very happily) married to a wonderful olive-skinned Egyptian moderate Muslim with brown eyes and curly black hair whose mother tongue is Arabic (but of course he now speaks English too) NOW do those racist bigots want me to breed? I didn’t THINK so!
Annoys me too when
people say to breed for your religion (basically) because HELLO when the kids grow up they might NOT choose their parents’ religion. For e.g. I was raised Christian and I am now an EX Christian. We have a friend raised on Communist Germany with NO religion from her family or society, basically raised atheist who is now a Muslim.

I actually had one person state they didn’t feel people who don’t intend to have children should be allowed to marry, and not as part of the point being made about the arguments against homosexual marriage. In one case, the same person who said that also argued that couples should not live together before marriage because, “what if you discover you can’t stand each other?” I’m still trying to figure out how either discovering that once married was better or how being married would prevent it.

http://childfreelife.wordpress.com/2008/06/13/link-love/

Cheers!

I’m not saying I UNDERSTAND breeder logic, I’ve just been on the receiving end so much I can spew it forth without thought.

When you consider people who clearly should not have had kids…like teenagers to name just one group – talk about fitness to be a parent or who’s “meant to be a parunt” never seems to be an issue. I’m not sure I’ve said exactly what i mean here, so – thoughts?

Being [finally] sterilized, I have given up trying to legitimize my very own adult decisions and just tell those who don’t know us: “Yea I know…we keep trying”!

“People like you should have children?” – my uncle recently visited from Nigeria and started with this one. Apparently the “wrong” black people are having children and I should breed to save the race, or else my education would be “wasted”. He seems to think the only reason to educate females is to make better mothers. I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that he said it or the fact he thought it would work.

Megs – acutally there are a number of cultures (and seemingly some are Western) who believe that sending a girl to college almost guarantees she’s going to “rebel” against the “natural order of things.” And because of that in some cultures girls can’t get an education because their parents don’t want to chance it.

CF4Life – The bingoes won’t be far away. Some see marriage as the subtle announcement that you’re going to have the kids, and are shocked when people say they aren’t going to have them. I hope your dad and stepmum don’t put the guilt trip on you.. but if they want grandkids they will try.