Stop The World. Don’t Do Another Thing. Don’t Even Dare Die Until…
3 08 2008…you’ve beheld the 8th and 9th wonders of the world. Twins!
It’s a funny old world, methinks. But these two posts from D-Listed made me laugh. And so of course I had to share it with you, wonderful childfree readers. For today is definitely not your day. No-one cares about you, because the eyes of the world (well, a good portion of it) are turned heaven-wards – sorry website and magazine-wards with feverish anticipation. I mean, it’s been on the International NEWS, dammit! Today is the day for the Brangelina Loons. Today’s the day that the $15million pics of the TWIN messiahs get released to the world. (US$ 15 million for pictures of babies ???!!). Faarrk!
Some are going potty (no pun intended, honest) with anticipation, cancelling everything except the most urgent bodily functions to be the first to gaze upon the golden babies. Clearly, these are no mere babies, right?
Get the scoop here:
Sunday Is The Most Important Day Of Your Life
I really can’t add any more to it except to say I enjoyed it hugely. Thank God for some sane irreverence. Here’s an excerpt to whet your taste-buds:
“Yes, it’s true. People Magazine won the exclusive rights for the first pictures of Brangelina’s chosen twins. It’s rumored that they paid around $10 to $15 million, a record. Of course, the money is going to charity. I think the name of the charity is the “We’re Fucking Saints And You Know It Fund.“
Actually, it’s more likely Monday will be the crazy day. Since that’s when the Brangeloonies (love that name) will officially be in raptures. Or perhaps they’ll have experienced the rapture after gazing worshipfully upon the blessed ones. Simply brangiful. Sigh.
And, don’t forget to read this one too.
Better get down on your knees and get those dark glasses on. The light will be truly blinding. You’ve been warned.
Wonder if the Brangeloonies would like frankincense and myrrh with that…
Technorati Tags: childfree
Ooh, I have a comment already… like - isn’t having 19 pages of pictures of your new borns a little like.. um.. selling them out?
Where are the adopted kids?
Don’t forget to read the comments on d-listed. They are funny.
Of course no one cares about the adopted children. The only thing that matters are the couple’s natural born children. Yes, they look like any other babies out there. Bald, wrinkly, and itty bitty. That’s about it. Then all they’ll be ugly, loud, smelling shit machines. Etc.
You’re not going to see how they’re really going to look until the kids hit their teens.
Meh… *yawn* Yet another boring celebrity worship article.
I was already assaulted with numerous opportunities to see the new wonder twins on my way over here. Gah. I shall be offline for a solid 48 hour window beginning in 4… 3… 2… 1
Stepher
I’m tired of all their organized pure bliss already. Angie wears black all the time but for the cover pics they dress the whole gang in heavenly white.
Do people IRL really look at babies like this? Those adoring gazes make me a little sick.
This whole mess makes me tired of humanity.
bconrad - I noticed the transformation to white garb too.
I wonder if those unable to have kids will now sue for mental cruelty? I mean, childfree folk are frowned on for daring to mention not wanting kids where there are women who are trying to have them, so this hoop-la must be grounds, surely?
Celebrity worship in the extreme. $15MM to publish pictures of babies and fake adoring gazes!! Mad.
I am beyond tired of hearing about every celebrity’s newborn miracle, or soon to be born miracle, or their heroic efforts to get pregnant. Get over it already! Who cares? Aren’t there more important things going on in the world?
I am living for the day when I can turn on the news in the morning and NOT have to see or hear about something baby-related. I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath…
So, so, so fake. We don’t even hear about Shiloh any more - when was the last time that poor kid was seen out in public anyway?
Wonder if she’s going to call these two “blobs” and rave on about how “she doesn’t feel as much for them as the adopted ones.” Blecch. I think you’ve proved the point - can we stop now?
My stupid breeder-wanna-be co-irker bought that stupid magazine and the others were almost all on their knees, worshiping the pictures of two fuckin’ ordinary babies. I don’t get it. I refuse to look at them. They’re flesh loaves, just like any other. They just happen to have been hatched by famous and rich parents who are not better than other people.
Mrs. Ogre, those kids, and others like Paris Hilton, et. al. are members of what my friends and I like to call, “The Lucky Sperm Club.”
Good one, CFSinceSix!
“Frankincense” and “Myrrh” would have been excellent names for the Dynamic Duo.
(BTW, my username refers to plant propagation, NOT human reproduction.)
Am I the only one who thinks all babies look exactly the effing same? You can’t even tell the black ones apart from the white ones half the time. What exactly is the point of gawking at these particular ones? I don’t get it. I may be interested in seeing them all at the age of 16, just to see if they resemble their parents, but babies? I can walk around my office and see pictures in people’s cubes that can, for all intents and purposes,be carbon copies.
og217, I’m in complete agreement with you. Pretty much ALL babies look the same. Except maybe for hair. But other than that, they look like doughy puffy mini-peoples.
@CFSinceSix - “they look like doughy puffy mini-peoples”
Christ, that’s generous.
I wouldn’t even have added the ‘mini-peoples’, but then, I am an evil child-hater.
I saw the magazine at the checkout…most times women were leafing through it. I refused to even pick it up. It’s a matter of principle. The only reason people are interested in these children is because of who they belong to. I have to say I respect the few celebrities who manage to keep their private lives - including kids - out of the limelight rather than using them to further their own ends (i.e. feed off the attention their kids get).