As I read this article in the TimesOnline, a number of different thoughts coursed through my mind.
Michelle Obama – My No 1 job as First Lady is to be first Mom
Having been thrilled to bits at the election outcome in the US (no more having to listen to Sarah Palin’s goofs for one thing) I must admit that, as a childfree person, the title of the article didn’t exactly have me whooping for joy.
I think Michelle Obama will be a great First Lady. This is no silver-spoon-born-with-in mouth woman, but someone who’s earned her success, is brilliant and down to earth and a whole lot more What a change from past First Ladies! Even if she has given up her own professional practice to support her husband.
My only quibble as a childfree person is that I just would have liked her to also be considering all working women, not just those with children. better still – why not all women?
Her focus is on her children. But childfree families are also families. Contrary to popular myth not all childfree women are rich and living the Life of Riley. We also work very hard, have none of the benefits that those with children have – and might I add, because we are childfree pay the highest burden of taxes – few, if any benefits we are eligible to claim. Many childfree people are also taking care of elders – this isn’t the preserve of those who have children.
Parenting is hard (parents are always telling me how hard, ”but worth it” it is), being a single parent is even harder. The thing is having children is a choice, not a given. Everyone had – and has a choice as to whether to have children or not.
What I’d like to see more is of is people thinking a little harder before they have children, as an alternative to the “well, bringing up kids is hard work, but you should do it,” or “you’re married, why on earth don’t you have kids?” that is society’s rallying cry. Not to mention the “I’ll just have a kid because I want one, never mind about the father, I’m entitled.”
Right now there is nothing to counteract the pressures of our kid-centric society, on the contrary, there is plenty of pressure to have children whether or not you can actually afford them.
Childfree and single people – men and women - people pay the highest burden of taxes today. Just because we don’t have children – because we decided not to do so – doesn’t mean we don’t count.
Or does it?
One last thing. I think the Obama children are beautiful. I think it’s totally right that children, if you have them, should come first. But I’m already fed up hearing about how her children are the centre of her life, etc, etc.…truth be told, I don’t care. Once again I found myself wondering why it is that people who have children think that everyone else wants to hear about them. I know they are at the top of her priority list. And they should be.
I doubt that her kids will be at the top of any chilfree persons priority list. Not that we were expecting any real “air-time” however it would be nice to think we’d get a look-in.
What do you think?
Technorati Tags: childfree, childfree, childfree
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Britgirl, I think the BBC article you posted a link for puts things more in perspective. Perhaps the whole “mom” comments come from the fact that there have been very few sitting presidents with school-age children, and therefore the whole notion of balancing the role of mother and spouse have never often come into play. Anyhow, I think it’s obvious that Barack Obama (and all other presidential candidates and winners) would never rise to prominence without the support of their spouses, and it’s also fairly obvious to me that she values her relationship with her husband- you only need to watch them together to see that there is a natural intimacy between them and that they consider each other to be a true partner.
Great post.
It always seems to me that the First Lady’s biggest concern is ALWAYS demonstrating that she is a wife and mother, period. Everything else is secondary. I remember when Bill Clinton was running and Hillary was given a makeover to look “softer”. I believe she also changed her last name from “Hillary Rodham” to “Hillary Rodham Clinton” around that time because God forbid, America would never been able to accept a woman who kept her own name as First Lady.
I love the Obamas and they are a beautiful family – an example of what a good American family should be like. But I agree with you that it gets tiresome when First Ladies constantly feel the need to reinforce that they are mommies first. WE KNOW. We don’t care.
For those with kids its definetly a positive thing to focus on being a morther or father.
I think when Michelle Obama with such success states being a mother is her first job, then it sends also a positive message to other mothers.
I think it’s beyond pathetic. Your husband has been elected President and you think the most important thing you can do is wipe snot??? Eeew.
Truly, I think you overthought this comment. Thinking from a single person perspective and a new mother perspective, I RESPECT HER COMMENT. As a single person, I could not fathom worring about anyone else BUT myself and then whoever else I chose to worry about. I ranted and raved about the bad little kids that came through my retail store and tore up my shelves. I, along with others talked about the mothers & fathers who had “bad” children. how can you bring a child in this world and just let them be so disrespectful esp. in public. Now that I am a mother, I never want someone to talk about me the way I talked about others. I pride myself on being a mother. Understand that yes, her job is to be the first lady…but after her 4-8 years is finished, she will still be a mother. think of many of our presidents children…weren’t Bush’s girls in the news for drinking all the time? Maybe if someone thought, my job is to be a parent first…this could have been detered. Don’t be upset that she knows what her ultimate role is. When we complain about our youth stealing, robbing, being unwed with babies, doing drugs & alcohol, dropping out of school, and shooting up schools….ask yourself, was that parent honestly a parent first? Definitely, I cannot control everything my son will do, but I know I will do my best to have his morals and attitude shaped to make the right choices. That is where we fail as parents, friends and foes. Stop knocking each other down.
Britgirl
“I recall in Australia some years ago that the PM (or similar highly placed person) told a childfree (I think) colleague she wasn’t fit to govern… because she had no children.”
You were referring to Bill Heffernan’s disgusting remark about (now deputy PM Julia Gillard). Apparently he felt she wasn’t fit to run the country because she was “deliberately barren”. I don’t recall him being pregnant, but hey, maybe he has had a sex change. Real class act jerk this one.
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2007/05/02/1177788183427.html
http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,21658142-5001021,00.html
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