As I read this article in the TimesOnline, a number of different thoughts coursed through my mind.
Michelle Obama – My No 1 job as First Lady is to be first Mom
Having been thrilled to bits at the election outcome in the US (no more having to listen to Sarah Palin’s goofs for one thing) I must admit that, as a childfree person, the title of the article didn’t exactly have me whooping for joy.
I think Michelle Obama will be a great First Lady. This is no silver-spoon-born-with-in mouth woman, but someone who’s earned her success, is brilliant and down to earth and a whole lot more What a change from past First Ladies! Even if she has given up her own professional practice to support her husband.
My only quibble as a childfree person is that I just would have liked her to also be considering all working women, not just those with children. better still – why not all women?
Her focus is on her children. But childfree families are also families. Contrary to popular myth not all childfree women are rich and living the Life of Riley. We also work very hard, have none of the benefits that those with children have – and might I add, because we are childfree pay the highest burden of taxes – few, if any benefits we are eligible to claim. Many childfree people are also taking care of elders – this isn’t the preserve of those who have children.
Parenting is hard (parents are always telling me how hard, ”but worth it” it is), being a single parent is even harder. The thing is having children is a choice, not a given. Everyone had – and has a choice as to whether to have children or not.
What I’d like to see more is of is people thinking a little harder before they have children, as an alternative to the “well, bringing up kids is hard work, but you should do it,” or “you’re married, why on earth don’t you have kids?” that is society’s rallying cry. Not to mention the “I’ll just have a kid because I want one, never mind about the father, I’m entitled.”
Right now there is nothing to counteract the pressures of our kid-centric society, on the contrary, there is plenty of pressure to have children whether or not you can actually afford them.
Childfree and single people – men and women - people pay the highest burden of taxes today. Just because we don’t have children – because we decided not to do so – doesn’t mean we don’t count.
Or does it?
One last thing. I think the Obama children are beautiful. I think it’s totally right that children, if you have them, should come first. But I’m already fed up hearing about how her children are the centre of her life, etc, etc.…truth be told, I don’t care. Once again I found myself wondering why it is that people who have children think that everyone else wants to hear about them. I know they are at the top of her priority list. And they should be.
I doubt that her kids will be at the top of any chilfree persons priority list. Not that we were expecting any real “air-time” however it would be nice to think we’d get a look-in.
What do you think?
{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }
I think you are overreacting and might have a lack of real offending articles to criticise? Like ones that make accusations about the lack of worth of cf’s or that claim we should raise the children of stupid parents. Michele Obama is just the kind of rolemodel parents need–especially worthless parents who don’t put their children first and are like fame? I can leave my kids with a random nanny while I go do drugs and strip dance (Britney Spears). I think you should just ignore articles that are about the brilliant First Lady, but don’t target us–I am sure a ton of articles will. My CF family will receive a tax cut under the Barack Obama plan
I had a bit of a job understanding your comment but…
“Like ones that make accusations about the lack of worth of cf’s or that claim we should raise the children of stupid parents.”
And where are these articles and claims? Care to share them? By the way, there are plenty of articles on this blog on similar topics.
Please go back and read what I wrote – instead jumping to conclusions.You make a good point about role models for parents but that wasn’t my point. I am not talking from a parents view or what would be a role model for parents. Neither was I saying Michele Obama isn’t an excellent role model anyway.Edit: CFL I didn’t understand your comment on being a role model until I read Emma’s comment below. I think I see the point you were making… and I agree. I’d still balk rather at calling them worthless parents… but I think I see where you are coming from now. Also, that might change if I was a more frequent visitor to the forums and read the rants about less than responsible parents. So, I’m slightly editing my comment here. I still have a question about your overreacting comment tho’.
If you wish to talk about “worthless parents”, feel free. That wasn’t my point the vast majority of parents do not fall into that “category.”To your thoughts about overreacting…to what exactly?
As we know articles target the childfree all the time…again, many of them discussed here. Sometimes I write about them sometimes I don’t. But any article that happens to catch my interest are up for discussion on my blog.
I’m not holding my breath on that refund. Even if I do get it, it’s a drop in the ocean compared to the money he’s going to screw me out of.
Britgirl: I do not share your enthusiasm regarding the recent election. However, I agree Michele is a intelligent and eloquent woman – I like her quite fine. I also do not agree with your subliminal suggestion that past First Lady’s have seemingly less than the qualities you’ve pointed out that you feel Michele Obama has. What is your basis for making such a statement?
Whether or not I voted for OUR president elect is irrelevant. When he becomes my president, I will respect him as such.
I love your blog and very much enjoy reading and joining in conversations regarding the challenges childfree people face – no matter WHO’S in office. I’m a very proud American who is becoming annoyed with all the rhetoric and bashing my country is taking from other parts of the world. No one has to live here. And if you don’t live here – good on you. There’s no where else on earth I’d rather live, even with all our problems. I find it amusing that the worst critics of my country are from those who don’t even live here, yet people from all over the world are clamoring to get in!
Str8Six. There is no subliminal suggestion. So I’m glad you said subliminal and not that I said it. All I was saying is that she is different from past first ladies. Am I allowed to say that? My actual thoughts are that she isn’t born into privilege and that she’s likely to be more active and out there – if you go by what she’s saying. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. If you think she’s no different say so.
I really don’t get your last paragraph at all. OK, you’re fed up with all the US” rhetoric and bashing” but what’s that got to do with me? Did I bash your country? Or doubt your pride in your country? If so, do please point out where, because I’m wondering.
She’s very different from Laura, Hilary, Barbara or Nancy. Laura and Barbara were so matronly and both just stood around with plastered smiles on their faces. Hilary and Nancy had their own political agendas and we (general public) often found them a bit annoying. Michelle is younger than all of them, has children younger than all of them, and seems much different. I guess time will tell.
…”someone who’s earned her success, is brilliant and down to earth and a whole lot more **What a change from past First Ladies**! ”
Perhaps I am misunderstanding here, but to me, this clearly delineates your [negative?] feelings on our past First Ladies regarding their personal success, brilliancy and down to earth ways. I cannot yet comment on what kind of First Lady Michele Obama is because she’s not one yet. It will be a few years before her involvement in various things *she* finds important is made. But all of our First Lady’s are ‘involved’ in one way or another with the things that THEY feel is important to THEM. Of course all First Ladies are different, are there any two people alike? That is redundant to say. And yes, this is your blog and your space and you are free to say anything you want, I would never even contemplate infringing on that and I appreciate your hard work in keeping it a great place to interact with other childfrees.
Regarding your last paragraph, it’s no secret the world detests the United States and has no qualms making their feelings known , you’d have to be living in a cave not to know that. And your very soft statement regarding prior first lady’s and being “thrilled to bits about the election outcome in the US” seems a bit indicative of your disapproval of how my country is ran; or, has been ran, in the past.
The reason I pointed out that I am a proud American is that I’m getting a little tired of people who do not live in this country contributing their great knowledge as to what our problems are, how to solve them and what needs to be done and changed, who needs to come and who needs to go or how thrilled they are Presidents, Senators, Congressmen or Mayors are now different people holding those offices. Your subliminal read-between-the-lines post seemed suggestive of this. My apologies if that is not the case. But I have NEVER commented on any blog, post or forum in another country regarding their politics, who is running their country and how I think the problem/s should be remedied, nor have I ever commented on any country’s leader. I could have, but out of respect I keep my nose out of it. We have our own problems. What makes me think ours is less than theirs? And what gives me the right to potentially insult, intentional or not, someone in whoms country I don’t even reside?
Political discussion is always a subject bound to raise eyebrows and generate potentially heated discussions. Just keep in mind, not ALL Americans are happy with the electoral outcome. And many of us didn’t vote for either of the two Presidential candidates in the primary’s.
str8six – I generally keep politics and religion off this blog because I don’t want a pissing war. This post was about MY thoughts on what I thought of a particular article and item – that of Michelle Obama’s focus on being first mom as a childfree person.Suddenly its been taken to be a critique and insult to the US!!?? That’s a real stretch.
On your discussion of First Ladies or First Ladies to be – I’ve said what I’m going to say on that and Phoena has summed it up very well.
On the rest: I think you have some issues you need to deal with. Frankly your comments and your reading into my post are so unbelievable that I don’t think I can even bring myself to respond to the detail because I don’t want to take this post any more off topic than it already is.
Suffice it to say – whatever you choose to do and say on your blog or any forum with regard to politics or anything else is up to you.
But on here, I do ask you not to read “subliminal messages” and infer what simply is not. Just stick to the topic and we’ll all be happy. If you think I detest the US, well I will leave that up to you. I’m sorry you feel that way. Nothing could be further from the truths and nothing you have said is based on fact, simply inferences. It’s sad, but I’ll live
And before you say I’m insulting anyone or anything… please have something a little more concrete. Not the case.
I’m glad you like this blog. But, if you feel as you do, towards me I will quite understand if you choose not to visit further… no hard feelings.
str8six, since when does speaking one’s mind automatically become an insult? Opinions and/or critics do not equal hate.
The thing is, US politics have a huge infleunce on world politics, and the US elections have been given an enormous media coverage in many countries, so it’s quite hard not to have an opinion in the matter.
You don’t want foreigners to talk about US policies? I’m half French and I remember very well when some Americans decided to boycott French products and renamed French fries “freedom fries”. What gave them that right? See? The petty “insults” do not only go one way.
This said, back to topic. I can very well understand it when Michelle Obama says “They’re the reason he ran for president – to make the world a better place for them and for all children.” But as a CF person, I tend to get rubbed the wrong way and feel that it means that having children is THE reason to want to make the world a better place. So of course the CF don’t care and live like there’s no tomorrow? Maybe I shouldn’t be taking it this way, but after too many bingos in very little time, it’s not easy!
Anyway, I’m wishing all 4 of them the best of luck at the White House. And I can’t wait to see the puppy they get
Str8six: With the risk of adding more fuel to the discussion..I must comment on something..
You said: “And what gives me the right to potentially insult, intentional or not, someone in whoms country I don’t even reside?”…
I know the above comment does not say much about your personal opinion on f.ex. the war in Iraq. But when it comes to your country, it seem like interfering with other countries are more the rule than exception.
With that said, I want to add that nothing sound more redicilous to me than listening to ungreatful comments about USA. I think especially many europeans seem to forget all the effort USA have done for us in the present and past. Personally I think USA is a great nation which I enjoy to travel in and I also distance myself from those who judge USA with unfairness.
Britgirl: At first sight I thought you were overreacting her comments about being a first mom. But after reading it through I think it was a good and well balanced post!
I think there are more votes to win by supporting the struggling families with kids than supporting the CF, and by “ignoring” the CF you aslo manage to keep up the pressure to conform. Personally I dont expect much from our politicians, but I think Barack Obama seem like an intelligent and great man!
I’m glad Michelle Obama said her first priority is being her children’s mother. I wish more parents felt… and acted … like that. If they did, perhaps the rantings we have on CF blogs and discussion boards about ill-mannered children and their oblivious parents would go the way of the dinosaurs. I’m hopeful that the Obamas will set an example for other parents.
I’m hopeful that our President-elect will consider ALL Americans when making policies, not just “working families,” which we all know is code for people with kids. I believe President-elect Obama and Mrs. Obama are both open-minded, forward-thinking individuals and I feel confident that the CF choice would be respected by them, especially since when I hear about revamping the health care system, I hear phrases like “all Americans,” not just “families” or “children.”
Time will tell what kind of leaders and role models they will be. I’m quite hopeful that they’ll be the best we’ve seen in a very long time. Of course, that’s not setting the bar very high, is it?
I voted for Obama and I am absolutely estatically THRILLED that he won. Now you know my bias.
That being said, I’ve seen interviews with the Obamas separately and together. Yeah, I caught her comment about how her children are her #1 priority, etc. etc. yadda yadda. To be frank and honest: it’s to be expected. I can’t even get annoyed at her statement. She is a product of the current child-centric world we live in so I’m not at all surprised. Sure, it would be nice if other people thought about the childfree, but at the present time it’s not quite going to happen. Yet.
Baby steps.
This may sound harsh, and it’s not racially motivated but in a way it is, as a Latina female, quite frankly I am fed up with ONLY seeing rich old white men as president. It IS time for a change. And right now I am just beyond proud and happy that FINALLY America as stepped back ON TO the world stage with the election of Obama and that we’re finally showing a different colour to one of the MANY beautiful colours of faces we have within our country.
Now. I say that in light of the fact that Prop 8 in California passed which has the homosexual community angered. While I too am saddened that it passed, I am not surprised. Personally, I think America is just trying to get used to the fact that we have a (half) black president elect. Even in 2008 this is still new for us.
Baby steps.
We have more work to do in enlightening people and having not just tolerance but acceptance of all different types of people. I’m sad to say that the childfree community is low on that list.
Further, from what I understand, Obama’s promised changes should benefit not just those with children, but others as well. I viewed his campaign speeches with my own life in mind – and my mom’s current living situation: very very poor, elderly, and no health care but meager medicare. And from what he said, his policies should benefit me and her.
Now, for the fluff. Michelle Obama is HAWT! IMO, she has more style and class than even Jackie O. And I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE how the Obama’s have open display of affection and how they just LOOK at each other. Sometimes I feel a bit embarassed because it can be so intimate. The children – they are going to be HEARTBREAKERS! This is one handsome and glamorous family.
One last thing. Listening to Obama speak, as I have said elsewhere, it is so refreshing and amazing that I don’t have to be embarassed that America will FINALLY have a president who is intelligent, can form complete sentences, express a coherent thought, and can make jokes rather than BE a joke. Considering that, really … I don’t care WHAT Michelle Obama’s first priority is!
LOL!! I used the term baby steps! tee hee!
My heart palpitations have lessened a bit…
so I will add one more thing.. The US is a great nation. Whatever happens economically and politically there affects the rest of the world. That’s the way it is. The rest of the world has opinions. We are all globally interconnected. I am a Brit. Think Tony Blair, Iraq and now Gordon Brown. I live in Canada. The US is Canada’s biggest trading partner. I can tell say with absolute certainty that most of the world was riveted on the recent US elections – throughout. Countries will always have their critics. I myself followed the elections from the start – elections in Canada didn’t even come close. And lastly tomorrow is Armistice Day. The 11th minute of the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918. We are in this together.
OK, now I will get off my soapbox now.
Lurker – yes, that’s why I thought a focus on all women would have been nice. But I can see there are far more votes for struggling families with kids.
@swissbarb – “So of course the CF don’t care and live like there’s no tomorrow? Maybe I shouldn’t be taking it this way, but after too many bingos in very little time, it’s not easy!”
And I do wish the Obamas all the very very best.
The thing is, apart from blogs and online you wouldn’t know someone was childfree unless you asked them. Whereas I believe there will be a much bigger focus on families (parents with children) than there has ever been. We should be used to it. But I always live in hope that one day our voices will count.
CFSix… so many points there that I will have to come back to some of them. Thank you for this perspective. You’re right, the CF won’t be high on her list, we have to accept that for now. Maybe one day…
“This may sound harsh, and it’s not racially motivated but in a way it is, as a Latina female, quite frankly I am fed up with ONLY seeing rich old white men as president. It IS time for a change. And right now I am just beyond proud and happy that FINALLY America as stepped back ON TO the world stage with the election of Obama and that we’re finally showing a different colour to one of the MANY beautiful colours of faces we have within our country.”
I hear you. I want to say… the morning after the election in Canada the feeling was incredible. People were sleepy, but people were making eye contact and smiled like I hadn’t seen before. It’s hard to describe it but waking up that day you felt something had happened… all the way here in Canada
Oh, and the Baby Steps… lol. But it was so apt!
CFSinceSix – baby steps! Too funny!
“One last thing. Listening to Obama speak…”
…on a lighter note… this man has an awesome voice!
@Emma – “Time will tell what kind of leaders and role models they will be. I’m quite hopeful that they’ll be the best we’ve seen in a very long time. Of course, that’s not setting the bar very high, is it?”
Baby steps, though right? One step at a time as CFSinceSix says…
“…If they did, perhaps the rantings we have on CF blogs and discussion boards about ill-mannered children and their oblivious parents would go the way of the dinosaurs. I’m hopeful that the Obamas will set an example for other parents.”
You know, I didn’t think of the example aspect at all when I wrote this post. But I think that was also the point Childfreelife was making…although it was phrased rather differently – and I didn’t get it. I was looking at it from a different focus. Now yours and CFL’s comment have got me thinking… that perhaps being an example to parents can and will make a bigger impact to childed and the CF. I didn’t think of that. Time will tell, but thanks for that.
The thing is, apart from blogs and online you wouldn’t know someone was childfree unless you asked them.
Britgirl, you hit the nail on the head. People have common needs and ambitions: a good place to live, decent wages, clean water and air — it’s not just restricted to people with children. It would be refreshing to hear politicians say that.
I’ve heard that Obama is reviewing Bush’s order to scrap family planning aid to overseas organizations and I hope one of the first things he’ll do is to throw that policy straight out the window. Women in developing countries should have the right to choose whether or not to have children.
What makes you think I’m going anywhere? Just because I point out that I do not agree with you doesn’t mean I’m never coming here again. I’m not that shallow. I’m not like a cat, I don’t hold grudges. So unless you ban me, I will continue to read and contribute to your posts.
I am a major minority in the childfree ring of people: I’m a Christian who is not a member of any church, I’m a Libertarian, I love my 2nd amendment rights and I’m a governmental (City) employee and desperately want the Fair Tax . I’m used to many more criticisms than a few people on a blog – there is no box I fit in, I’m used to it – bring it on. I have reasons to feel the way I do, and aside of my last post, do not need to elaborate on them further. I’m almost 40 years old and spent 9 days at ground zero as a FF/Medic; I have very thick skin.
At the end of your post, you state: “What do you think”? I stated what I thought.
Lurker: I have not made one statement as to my thoughts about the war in Iraq. Your comment is completely irrelevant to the sentence you quoted.
Swissbarb: I agree, the U.S. has the most influence with regards to politics, or, translated: money.
The world just wants our financial contributions and military protection. But that’s all. Well, sorry, it doesn’t work that way.
Freedom fries? Are you serious? You do realize if it weren’t for the United States, you’d be speaking German, right? France spits in our face. Thank God for the French GIGN. Don’t know what it is? Look it up.
Britgirl: I’m glad your heart palpitations have subsided. If you haven’t spoken to your doctor about it, there are some really great medications available for this anxiety disorder, one of the more popular ones being Concor. I’m NOT being a smartass, just the medic coming out in me
@Firefly – “People have common needs and ambitions: a good place to live, decent wages, clean water and air — it’s not just restricted to people with children. It would be refreshing to hear politicians say that.” Exactly.
And I too hope that FP policy gets reviewed.
Str8six “At the end of your post, you state: “What do you think”? I stated what I thought.”
I asked what you thought about the topic I wrote about, specifically, Michelle Obamas priority/focus on families and children. I believe you are yet to do that. For the record this blog is not about personal criticisms of contributors, implied or otherwise – from anyone.
You said to Swiss Barb…”I agree, the U.S. has the most influence with regards to politics, or, translated: money…”
That’s not what Swissbarb said. I believe her words were ” US politics has a “huge influence on….” Not that “the US has the most influence on…”
Oh, and about the heart palpitations? I was being ironic.
“For the record this blog is not about personal criticisms of contributors, implied or otherwise – from anyone. ”
Oh I see. But selective personal criticism is OK…gotcha
I stand corrected: Swissbard did state ‘huge’ influence as opposed to ‘most’ influence, as I stated. Whether it be ‘huge’ or ‘most’, politics is ALWAYS about money. And the U.S. IS the largest influence on world economics…right now.
About your heart palpitations, sorry I mistook your irony. I take medical conditions to heart.
@str8six “Oh I see. But selective personal criticism is OK…gotcha
”
I am not sure what you mean by “selective personal criticism”, and I have no intention of playing guessing games. I will say it again… this blog is not about personal critisicms of contributors, implied or otherwise. Change the record.
“I am not sure what you mean by “selective personal criticism”..”
It’s okay, never mind.
Anyway, I do think it’s fine for a mother to put her children first and in fact, that is the way it should be. I have no problems at all with Mrs. Obama stating that her children are going to come first – normal for a good parent as far as I’m concerned. But that’s why she’s not running for President -sorry ladies – you can’t have kids and give 100% to any one passion…at least not properly.
But, seeing as she’s not going to play any significant part in making major U.S. decisions, it doesn’t really matter. Unless of course, she catches her husband screwing the White House intern and uses that as blackmail
@ str8six “- sorry ladies – you can’t have kids and give 100% to any one passion…at least not properly.” I’d agree with you there. It’s either impossible or extremely difficult unless one is very wealthy. Still, I think of Cherie Blair (UK) who had 4 kids and is still a very prominent Barrister – was throughout Tony Blair’s two terms. But she wasn’t PM of course. Or running for President.
In fact, if we extend this to ordinary working women it becomes a bigger issue… often a choice between career or working and the children.
“In fact, if we extend this to ordinary working women it becomes a bigger issue… often a choice between career or working and the children.”
Exactly. And afterall, ordinary working women make up the majority of this base.
There was a (somewhat) recent post of an article on another CF board from an MD who is a mother who stated that her children will come first, and how she is having a ‘difficult time’ dealing with the stressors of being a doctor and balancing out breastfeeding and motherhood. Personally, I don’t want a doctor, particularly an ER resident, who doesn’t have their mind 100% on my medical emergency. You CAN’T DO BOTH adequately. Pick your poison.
Str8six:
Probably my lack of english do not always allow me to express what I really want to say. But to me it seemed like you felt insulted for someone outside USA expressing opinions about your country. My point is that USA does this all the time.
Well. No hard feelings from me.
I’m guessing that Michelle Obama expressing her feelings about her still young children as priority no. 1 was very comforting to those who voted for McCain out of fear that Obama was a very, scary unknown. She has presented herself as someone that the soccer moms in the midwest can relate to, not a career driven member of the liberal elite. It’s okay with me if that’s how they want to play it.
As the most liberal member of the Senate and the first African American president of the U.S. everything he does and says will be scrutized for proof that he is a radical alien, with bizarre ideas and priorities, ill-suited to represent all of America. Same applies to his family members. I think when you are out to build bridges one way to do that is point out all the things you have in common with those who view you with skepticism.
I guess I also don’t expect them to say anything about CF since the vast majority of people here have or will have children. Just not a priority issue since we have so many other huge problems to address. I’ll just smile and keep paying boatloads of income tax to ensure that other people’s children in my city will be educated. And God bless them, if by the time they receive their diplomas they will have only learned to think for themselves!
str8six -Freedom fries? Are you serious? You do realize if it weren’t for the United States, you’d be speaking German, right? France spits in our face. Thank God for the French GIGN. Don’t know what it is? Look it up.
1. I’m half German too, I speak it very well, thank you (btw that’s a joke!)
2. Thinking Europe is forever indebted to the US after 1945 is like saying the Germans should forever feel guilty for the Nazi regime: it’s not fair to generations who have never had anything to do with it. Or else you should also still be indebted for the French since general Lafayette fought for US independence. I don’t think it makes sense to use history that way.
3. If all countries had this attitude of “either with us, or against us”, the world would be an even bloodier mess.
4. I know what the GIGN is and what it does. Suggesting I don’t is rude.
No hard feelings though.
I feel I’ve already taken way too much space on “off topic” comments on britgirl’s post, there will be nom more from me on this!
Sorry about the errors and typos, I couldn’t get the edit function to work :-/
Lurker, your assumption was not off base, to be honest. I’m an American. I live in Dallas, TX. But I originally grew up in southern California.
The attitude of some (SOME) Texans I’ve run accross is appalling. It’s so small world and HICK. Honestly, they feel that we “should” be in “eye-rack” and “aff-gah-knee-stan” yet, they think the rest of the world should STFU about what we’re doing and keep their noses out of “our” business and “our” politics.
What these small world people don’t realize is that if, as a country, you participate in wars that happen on the other side of the world, trade services and goods with other countries, you, as a country, ARE on the world stage and, whether they like it or not, the rest of the world has a right to their opinion about the U.S. What we do DOES affect the world.
Need I say more when I mention two words: “economic collapse.”
For the record, I personally was not insulted or offended or anything like that regarding your opinion of the United States, nor of even Brit Girl’s opinion. For one, it’s your opinion, like I have my own opinions, and for two, like you have eloquently mentioned, actions the U.S. takes does affect the rest of the world. Yes, there are some Americans who not just realize it, but recognize it, acknowledge it, and actually want to work with people other than ourselves for a global village.
Which is why I was so ecstatic Obama won and why I said, specifically, that I felt that we as a country finally went back on to the world stage. And with that, I shall no longer stray off topic again.
Peach, yoh.
Wow, there seems to be a lot of defensiveness over the posts by Str8six. I think she made a lot of really valid points. And besides, they’re her opinions, I don’t think it’s necessary to respond to people’s every-opinions, nobody’s right, nobody’s wrong. We’d be here all day arguing.
Also, its my opinion that Lee has some VERY good points/opinions as well.
MY opinion of Michelle Obama in the role of “First Lady” is going to be well, interesting to say the least. She should stick to the role of MOM and STAY OUT of politics. If “MOM” is her “first” priority, then focus on that. I think she is going to be the driving force behind all the free handouts that the welfare mothers and “low income” mothers are going to start seeing. And not to sound racist, but I think she’s going to focus her efforts mainly on black women, maybe not coming right out and being so obivous about it, but that’s who I think is going to benefit the most. The childfree may as well be a colony of leppers living under a bridge somewhere. I think WE’RE going to see a tax increase because we don’t have families. Again, it won’t be so bovious, but whatever increase there is, will be modeled in such a way that the CF’ers take the hits. Whenever you elect a famblee-oriented president, and one who is so concerned with the black community, you can bet your fannies that they’re going to be looking out for “like-minded” individuals. And please don’t argue this point with me, I’ve read her Princeton thesis, a number of other things she’s done, and all of Barack’s books. Take it from me.
And a tax break? LOL Yea, believe that one and I’ve got a bridge to sell y’all. Mr. Obama promised the sun, moon and stars, all sorts of CHANGE, and now that he’s been elected, we’ll see the old “bait and switch.” I hope the CHANGE all the Obama supporters are expecting is really what we’ll get, but I doubt it. And I think Michelle Obama is going to have as much say as she can.
KFLL, ALL presidents have done “the old bait and switch.” And quite frankly, I really don’t know where you guys get the information that Obama is going to be handing out welfare checks. To assume they’ll focuse more on black people is, well, racist.
G. Bush handed out welfare checks. To rich old white men/people. Bailout, anyone? Haliburton? Blackwater?
Ok, Britgirl. Many apologies. I need to take a break. I’ll wait for your next CF blog entry.
“G. Bush handed out welfare checks. To rich old white men/people. Bailout, anyone? Haliburton? Blackwater?”
Precisely, but many people don’t consider that “welfare” or “spreading the wealth.” No, it’s only called “socialism” when lower or middle income people receive some type of benefit/tax break. If the wealthy individuals and corporations reap the benefits/huge tax cuts, the burden of which rests squarely on the shoulders of the middle class, well then it’s called “good for the economy.” The last eight years haven’t been good for my “economy” nor that of most of the people I know. It has, however, been a walk in the frickin’ park for all the rich white men and their companies.
“And I think Michelle Obama is going to have as much say as she can.”
You mean kind of like Nancy Reagan? Frankly, it’s only natural to me that a President would seek the counsel of his/her spouse. It simply means that s/he respects that spouse as an intelligent human being and is interested in his/her opinions. I see nothing at all wrong with that.
I have tons more responses to some of the comments left here, but in the hopes of keeping this relatively civil, I’ll just say that time will tell who is right about the Obama administration. I hope they match or exceed my expectations because I’d like the US to reclaim its previous reputation.
Of course, I have no delusions that the CF contingent is going to get some kind of special tax breaks. We are a very, very small minority of the population. Growing? Yes. But still a very small minority. As long as laws aren’t passed that specifically discriminate against us (like those the “momsrising movement” is lobbying for) I’m content for now.
As one of the other commenters said… baby steps. The first step is getting an intelligent, articulate, and internationally respected President in office. That will happen on January 20th.
I think that, while it reaffirms the idea of MOM as paramount in the society pecking order, it was a very clever strategy. This gives Michelle more freedom under the cover of “I’m a Mom, not a politician!” I suspect that she may be able to explore and/or champion causes that might not be “appropriate” for politicians. It also helps free her from targeting if her husband makes an unpopular decision, etc. etc.
No need for apologies
Swissbarb, sorry about the edit function. I will check it out.
Emma “Of course, I have no delusions that the CF contingent is going to get some kind of special tax breaks. We are a very, very small minority of the population.”
Yes, and the perception is that we have none of the problems that people who have children do.”
KFLL – defensiveness? – I think the replies were pretty well balanced considering. And I do recall that Obama promised to govern for “all Americans.” He’s the one who’s President – elect to be president.
KFLL: Be optimistic.
Cfsincesix: Unfortunately not the first time my english got me into trouble. Thanks for the interesting point.
Str8six: Look forward to read you comments on future CF topics in this post!:)
Britgirl: The best thing is to have a place to ventilate and i think this blog allows that. I was waiting for something about the election in USA and at least this post got a lot of comments. Even as european I felt almost depressed for 2 days after John Kerry lost his election. I can of course only imagine how it must feel like to be in the center of an election in the same way as the americans are. It is impressive to watch how dedicated the people are during the Presidental campaign.
I now go and join the others who already said enough..
I’ve never really liked the Obamas – yes, I know, blasphemy! This is just one more example of their crap, but I have to put the blame squarely on the people fawning over it as well. People who are as media savvy as they are wouldn’t try it if it didn’t work.
For. The. Last. Time: Woman does not automatically mean Mother, Preggo or Wannabreeder.
Sheesh…
Can’t we all agree that it is a breath of fresh air just to have someone as President who seems to be able to use logic and rational thought? Someone who might even be interested in educating himself, consulting others and then making the decision he thinks might be best for most people? Someone who knows the freaking Constitution? Who doesn’t consider a supreme court judgment or stolen election a “mandate” to do whatever he wants or think of himself as “chosen by god” to be President? While every leader promises to, no leader will ever be able to make EVERY person in their charge happy with every decision they make, nor should they.
It seems from the discussion that everyone is putting a lot on a man who visited the Oval office for the first time (ever) yesterday, which might help everyone gain some insight as to what these past 8 years have been like. As Obama himself said, “We only have one president at a time, and I’m not it right now” (paraphrasing, I don’t remember the exact quote). And to misquote Dick Cheney “You don’t get to work with the president you want, you work with the president you have”. Yeah, I’m happy, but more than anything I’m just relieved. I really like people who use their brains.
In case it wasn’t clear in my previous post, I just wanted to add that as an American, I am ecstatic about the election of our new president and was an active member of an org here that helped to raise funds to get him elected. I share the opinion of “bravewolf” in that the ways in which the Obama’s present themselves right out of the gate is of course, very strategic and very important. As Obama himself said in his acceptance speech, he realizes that he did not get every vote and he is out to win the hearts and minds of those who didn’t feel he would represent their best interests. As far as I know there is no visible CF political lobby in this country which is what it would take to become an action item on a federal government agenda. And, as britgirl stated, many with children think we are already ahead of the game financially.
For the past 8 years and prior, the Christian right has had a stranglehold on the political engine in this country and we all know that maintaining traditional “family values” whch includes children was/is priority no. 1 for them.
Non-traditional thinkers know that families come in all shapes, sizes and configurations. Which benefits are allowed to various types of households is also very much a state by state decison here. It will be very interesting indeed to see what federal mandates come down under the new regime.
Major policy change that reflects the interests of minority groups comes slowly but as others have said it never hurts to be optimistic and we’re off to a great start with a president who understands what it is like to be on the outside looking in.
Thank you britgirl for your time and space!
ps. tried to edit, but couldn’t. just wanted to add, I’m with feh, to wake up every day and know that there is an intelligent, thoughtful, rational person in charge of this country is a HUGE relief!
Thank you KFLL: I’m picking up what you’re putting down and appreciate your post more than you know !
“Str8six: Look forward to read you comments on future CF topics in this post!:)”..
Thanks Lurker, I’m not deterred at all by the responses to my posts. I’m the one who worked on all the various political sided differences when they were screaming for my help at Ground Zero. I’ve earned the right to state my opinion and I’ve left it at that.
Britgirl: C’mon with your next CF post!
“Just keep in mind, not ALL Americans are happy with the electoral outcome. And many of us didn’t vote for either of the two Presidential candidates in the primary’s.”
I’m glad SOMEONE said this. It needed to be said.
I’m always confused when candidates and/or their spouses talk about their kids during their campaigns. What on EARTH does being a parent have to do with being president? It makes no difference to me whether you’ve got 10 kids or none, and I don’t think it’s right to use them in your campaign to show how you are a ‘family (wo)man’ and ‘feel families’ pain’ or whatever. What a load of crap. They just use their families to further their careers. Anybody that actually deserves to be president will not be found actually running for the office. They’re off being successful somewhere and staying the heck away from Washington.
I’m SO fed up with the politics in this country…
Lurker… It didn’t actually occur to me to do a post on the US elections because I generally write about things that either impact the Childfree in some way shape or form directly or indirectly. When I came across the article in the Times I considered it fell into one of the above categories and was worth discussing.
I appreciate yours (and others) comments on this post – especially since I know English isn’t your first language. Keep ‘em coming
Sister Dino –
“What on EARTH does being a parent have to do with being president? ”
Frankly, it gets favour with the electorate (middle class) because the majority of people have kids and are suspicious of people who don’t.
That’s why they use it. Almost every elected leader and those running for election (Western World anyway) manages to bring their children into the picture somehow because they know it resonates with the majority of people. I think only Germany’s Angela Merkel did not (and I actually believe she doesn’t have kids). Our European readers can correct me on that one.
I recall in Australia some years ago that the PM (or similar highly placed person) told a childfree (I think) colleague she wasn’t fit to govern… because she had no children.
According to my knowledge Angela Merkel does not have kids and her opponents have been attacking her because of it.
Hello Britgirl and all!
This is my first post to the blog — I have enjoyed reading it for quite some time though!
This topic interests me since in my home state of Ohio, Gov. Ted Strickland was opposed by a religious-right candidate during the election of 2006, and the right-winger was supported by two groups called “Patriot Pastors” and “The Ohio Restoration Project.” Reports surfaced that one of the officers of these groups initiated a “whisper campaign” of emails saying that because Strickland married his wife at 46, had no kids, and lived apart from his wife (I’ve not been able to substantiate this) that he and his wife must be homosexuals, and that they would be “soft” on child molesters while in office.
Here’s a link to an article about it:
http://www.rightwingwatch.org/2006/07/patriot_pastor.html
Yes, it’s sad, but it seems in the eyes of many that having kids “legitimizes” you. I’m 38, married, no kids, and even within family circles, I’ve noticed that my interests or those of my wife aren’t taken as seriously, and our plans not seen to be as important, as those who have children.
Excellent job on the blog, Britgirl — it’s a valuable resource and I hope you’ll continue it for a long time to come!
Not wanting to be a blog-hog, but I just wanted to say, “hey!” to ChrisOH. Though I no longer reside, I grew up in Ohio so your post really resonated with me. Wow! What some of these groups will do in the name of God to get a bigger piece of the political pie. Too sickening really. Not to mention ignorant and most likely not what Jesus had in mind.
If you or anyone else finds this topic interesting there is a great book about America and the religous right called “The Myth of a Christian Nation, How the Quest for Political Power is Destroying the Church”. The author is Gregory A. Boyd.
I look at is this way about the whole kid thing. Once you’ve done something you cannot undo, I’m guessing that to admit it wasn’t such a great idea (if only to yourself) is incredibly soul sinking. Some are brave and will talk turkey, but for others it would just be too hard to get through the day–seeing as it’s a life sentence. I think that those who dismiss people without children are doing so only to make themselves feel better about their decisions. They have to make child rearing more important than anything that anyone else will EVER do because for many parents once they have children they often put their own personal dreams and aspirations aside out of necessity. So transparent really.
On a related note, one of my neighbors dedicated her life to raising her kids. Put her heart and soul into it. Despite her and her husband’s tremendous efforts, scrimping and saving, sending them to private schools and outdoor adventures, and language and music lessons not to mention providing truly loving care, both kids decided to drop out of college and move back home and are now both employed at minimum wage jobs. Mom alternatively went to work on the president elect’s campaign in another state for a period of three months. She found the experience so fulfilling she is now applying for work in DC away from husband and the back-to-the-nest pair. I guess she decided to save herself. What’s the old saying, the only person who can truly make you happy is yourself.
I don’t have much to add to what was posted above; I just wanted to commend you and others for paying attention to foreign politics. Most US citizens couldn’t tell you who the Prime Minister of Canada, the UK, or Australia are. They couldn’t tell you what the major issues effecting France are, or about the economic struggles of Argentina and Russia. It is sad that some of the better conversations I’ve had about US politics were when traveling overseas. It’s not just that people care about American politics because of the global implications of our policies, it is how much they more they know about all governments that is so incredibly refreshing. Many, if not most, Americans couldn’t tell you who their own Senators or Congressional leaders are. If we all paid more attention to world politics than we do to Brangelina’s babies or Julia Robert’s twins the world would most definitely be a better place.
As for Michelle Obama’s comments about being “first Mom” I do think she is doing what she needs to do to appease the majority of the population. One of the things people jumped all over Hillary Clinton about was how far Chelsea seemed on her priority list. Hillary Clinton is also advising Michelle Obama about being a first lady and I’m sure part of that advice is to come off as a down to earth mother. I am hopeful that through her role as “first Mom” to two young girls will make her and Barack more cognizant of women’s needs in our society beyond mothering; educational opportunities, access to safe and affordable birth control, protection against violent attacks. I had the same hopes for the Bush administration, but the Bush family seems to have very old fashion attitudes about women; they should marry young, become school teachers, have a few babies, and live happily every after.
I think there are three things you must declare yourself to be in order to get elected in America (and probably in lots of other countries as well): married, with children, and religious. Everything else is automatically suspect, and all three prerequisites are equally nonsensical.
My personal feelings about Michele Obama’s statement is that I hope she and her husband change some of the racist perceptions that still linger in the hearts of some people about African-Americans. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with her statement per se. If your husband is going to hold the most powerful office in the land, I would think someone has to make your children a priority and the best person is the other parent. A lot better than having kids and then leaving it for someone else to worry or care about. She actually sounds rather grounded to me, and I wouldn’t take her comments to necessarily reflect that her husband’s presidency is only going to care about families with children.
Lurker – thanks for the confirmation. And not only is Angela Merkel the first female Chancellor of Germany, she was also President of the European Council in 07 and Chair of the G8. She is one powerful woman. Sucks that her opponents give her such a hard time, but she’s so much smarter and I reckon they’re just jealous
Explosive – Thank you. I can’t imagine NOT being informed about other countries…and what’s going on… for one thing other people and countries are interesting for another it’s about knowing about the world I live in. I grew up learning as much as could about other countries and their histories and I’ve never really stopped. And there is always more to learn. I even know there is an election in New Zealand this month
“I had the same hopes for the Bush administration, but the Bush family seems to have very old fashion attitudes about women; they should marry young, become school teachers, have a few babies, and live happily every after.”
I read that and laughed aloud
ChrisOH – welcome and thanks for your first comment. I think the Religious Right are downright scary… and I have encountered, shall we say ,er… “lighter flavours” of them. And they are still scary. Thanks for the link.
“I’ve noticed that my interests or those of my wife aren’t taken as seriously, and our plans not seen to be as important, as those who have children.”
I’ve noticed it too. And yes even in families (not immediate family I’m happy to say). It’s like our interests have no legitimacy unless they are somehow related to children (or trying to acquire them).
Lee – thanks for sharing these. Used to be that after the kids were grown up the parents could get the life they put on hold back. Now the kids are moving back home (or not moving out in the first place) it really is like a life sentence – which of course we’re exhorted to embrace as the highest calling for anyone…
I found this article on the BBC on Michelle Obama – and we might expect from the new First Lady. Enjoy. And thanks again for the insightful comments.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/us_elections_2008/7723547.stm
I agree with Explosive Bombchelle, I also think that’s she is doing what she needs to do to appease the majority of the population. It’s about politics and appealing to the (childed) masses.
Also, not to get off topic but I was thrilled to see the election of Obama. Canadians do care about American politics a great deal — what happens down there affects us. Obama’s victory was on the front page of our newspapers for goodness sake.
I’ll take Michelle Obama’s views on parenthood over that certain other someone who really liked shopping and couldn’t name a newspaper she reads.
I caught onto a small side point and my comment is that really, it’s totally misguided and pathetic to make children your “whole life” or “number one priority” or whatever other assinine tags people assign them. Really, for someone to disregard their spouse like that seems so horribly insulting, I’d leave if I were married to someone who voiced such nonsense. The marriage should be your (or in case here, Michelle Obama’s,) priority. How sad to value children over the one relationship that is chosen, for life, and every single day, not just until college.