This post is rather last minute but I thought I just had to blog my childfree take. My hubs and I have begun watching our Christmas film list. And we’re watching “About A Boy.” And it’s hilarious. I’d never really looked at all the childed digs that abound in this film, perhaps because of the title – and that the main character does end up kind of adopting a boy. And I absolutely love this film. Watching it today though we had a laugh at the scene where Will (Hugh Grant) goes round to visit his friends, who’ve recently had a baby.
The mother, with baby in tow, proceeds to tear strips of Will, for not being mature, and being shallow because he didn’t want kids. The large living room is in disarray with baby toys strewn around, thrown up food on the sofa. Will’s asked to hold the baby (presumably to absorb the baby-rabies that would make him want to have one of his own) and promptly gives it back to the mother.
The funniest thing was that then, the mother (remember she’d said Will was shallow and immature?) asks him if he’d like to be the baby’s Godfather. His reply is classic:
Among other things he says… “You must be joking!” Equally satisfying and hilarious(to us anyway) was seeing the shocked look on the parents face… how could anyone refuse to be Godfather to their precious baby?!”
Even better was Will’s next comment… “Besides, I’d be a terrible Godfather to little Imogen… I’m every bit as shallow as you think I am.”
Excellent. I laughed aloud.
Just that short scene highlighted quite a few childfree bingoes
Single man goes round to visit. Proud parents bring out the baby and start chirping about how wonderful having one is and how he should have one of his own. Mother gives new (and fragile) baby to single man single man reluctantly takes baby and then promptly returns it to mother – for fear of breaking it and doesn’t like babies anyway. Mother gives single man exasperated look in manner of “what, don’t you want to hold her? She’s adorable! How could you not love to hold my baby?”
Mother then reams out single guy (presumably since osmosis didn’t have time to catch/had no effect) saying that single guy is shallow, and lacks depth and when is single guy going to grow up and settle down (and have kids). In other words (as if you need them) Why don’t you have kids? Why aren’t you tied down? Oh, and I’m mad you’re free when so many of my girlfriends are just dying for a father for their kids/someone to give them babies. You’ll end up childless and alone… most people need kids to keep them grounded… you’re a selfish bastard…
Um. Will is single. He’s allowed to be selfish if he wants.
You have to wonder why then mother thinks that single guy is the best choice to be Godfather??
Delicious irony – as seen from my childfree perspective. I never really noticed it before.
Oh, yes, and the husband comes in with the other child, a precocious two year old and, when chocolate covered child blows a raspberry at Will, smiles indulgently and says… “they’re lovely really…”
Yep, bingoes galore (and I’m sure tongue in cheek wasn’t too far off).
I just had to share. I’m going back to “About A Boy”. 
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I can empathize with people who have a child and want everyone to love it as much as they do, but know that their CF friend won’t ever feel the same way as their other friends and may not even pretend. I feel the same way about my dog. The difference is that I would never dream of expecting my friends to feel the same way about my dog, go out of their way to pay attention to him or even acknowledge his presence.
What I don’t get is where politeness comes into this. You’re perfectly at liberty to feel kind of sad that someone isn’t as thrilled about your new child as you are. However, polite people do not make a fuss about it, nor do they expect that everyone bow down to their child. Many actually allow for the fact that this is an intensely personal experience and should be treated as such – not used as a weapon to coerce other people into going through the motions of sharing one’s pleasure in the situation.
This reminds me very much of religious fundamentalists, who seem more concerned with the *appearance* of their brand of “goodness” than actual charity and compassion.
I find it odd that something so stupidly COMMON and plebian as a screeching child is expected to elicit awe, reverence and hushed sighs of wonder. It’s not special to have unprotected sex, get pregnant and pop out a baby. Monkeys do it, cats do it, all sorts of idiots do it, bowel movements and breathing aside, it’s the most commonplace thing, isn’t it? I mean, since “everyone has children,” why is it so darn special that YOU did? I just don’t understand the whole “newborn on parade, come worship it” deal. Its a baby. It’s ugly. It smells of feces and lotion. It screams and drools. Seriously, it’s not a rare sight. I think people who spent their entire lives feeling like they are not special get to finally pretend that their child is, as an extension of themselves. Saaaad.
That was funny! It’s pretty much as it is, although I’m still young enough for not having friends and relatives panic about me not having kids, (only my mother does) and showing babies to me to make me catch the fever. Fortunately I’m not a member of the church, so nobody can ask me to be a god mother, and fortunately there are no new mothers around me.
But yeah… There’s some situations that I get into though, usually it’s in the form of a baby picture. “Isn’t she gorgeous?! Just PERFECT!” Uh… Right. Like every other under 1 year old on the planet. They’re all gorgeous and perfect until the world spoils them and they end up being the same kind of morons as the rest of us. (Well, to be honest I don’t see them as gorgeous. I see them undeveloped.)
Cool blog btw, I have to keep an eye on you.
Thank you for the laugh og217!! I couldn’t agree with you more! I got a dose of the “specials” today when I received yet another photo montage of a newborn. The mother didn’t ask a single question about me, my work, my husband or my life. It was all about, “the specialness and the love like no other”. I wanted to say, “You’ve not found a cure for cancer, you’re not being shipped aboard the next space shuttle flight and you haven’t come up with a brilliant and readily available form of alternative motor fuel. You’ve simply done what billions before you have done including the four legged and the invertebrates. And, how would you know that your love for your child supersedes the feelings I have for my husband and family?” Whenever I receive one of these e-mails I always have to go check in the mirror to make sure that I’m not invisible because it sure feels like I am since nothing about my life apparently warrants even a polite enquiry given the fact that I don’t have a child.
I think alot of parents assume that they have something that I want and don’t have. Perhaps this person never asks about my life because she doesn’t want to know what she’s missing, but she’s intent on making me notice what I’m missing.
Speaking of all babies being gorgeous, in the pics I just received the poor thing was a cross between a groundhog and Winston Churchill. The first thought that popped into my head was, “Oh dear!”
Hi Og217 et al!
I too fail to see what all the fuss is over babies. Perhaps it’s just being a male, but I just don’t get the obsessive need that many people (mostly women, but a few men too) have to hold a baby, “koochy koo” it, see baby pictures, etc. To me, all babies look, feel, sound and smell just about the same. They’re also just not all that fun or interesting — they can’t carry on a conversation or communicate in any meaningful way to me, and they can’t run or play like say, a puppy could.
I try to just ignore babies in public, but sometimes it seems the parents, if they’re, say, ahead me in the checkout line at the store, will turn and glance at me and smile. I just smile back and nod (to the parents, not the baby) and then go about my business. I wonder if they are surprised by my not doting over the baby?
I make it a point not to notice babies when parents are holding them near enough on purpose for me to coo and awwww. It’s not because I have a uterus that I am interested in babies. They bore the hell out of me.
Speaking of how people with traditional families view the childfree, I thought I’d share this link from CNN re: a recent appt by Obama. I apologize as this isn’t directly on topic with britgirl’s post. While most of Campbell Brown’s commentary is addressing sexim she does speak in support of childfree people and how they are assumed to have no life because they don’t have children. I’m sure the Gov of PA who made the pin-headed comments wasn’t home taking care of his kids when they were young. I’m sure his wife took care of the kids while he pursued his political career. As Campbell Brown points out, would he have made the same comment about a male? Uh, hello, it’s 2009 not 1950. My mother had six children and it wasn’t until the last of us had started school and she went back to work did she feel she had “a life”.
Even though the governor has kids I suggest he get a life!
http://news.aol.com/article/rendells-private-comment-caught-on-mic/267194
And yes ChrisOH, I’m sure that they are suprised by you not doting over their baby. I think the mother of “baby churchill” as I’ve dubbed him. was surprised that I didn’t drop everything and go running over to see the newborn. I find children who can talk far more interesting, if they are intelligent.
Sorry, forgot to include this link in the last post. This story is about how 1 in 5 young adults in the U.S. has a personality disorder! Hmmm, any parenting or lack thereof involved in that outcome? Job well done, is all I have to say….
http://www.newsweek.com/id/17161
That sounds like a funny film. Boy, Hugh Grant really does play the same character over and over again, doesn’t he? Sounds like the same character he played in that film “9 Months”.
Anyway…I wish JUST ONCE these types of films wouldn’t end with the Hugh Grant character “coming to his senses” and having a child (whether bioloical or adopted). Wouldn’t it be great if someone wrote a film in which the childfree character was the HERO (instead of the shallow, bumbling idiot) who taught everyone else a lesson about what is really important in life?
Childfreeeee I felt the same way about a book I read some time ago, “The Family Way” by Tony Parsons, it’s about 3 sisters, one gets pregnant, one supposedly can’t have kids, the third one thinks she doesn’t want any, well guess what at the end of the book all 3 are pregnant and thinking this is the best thing that could have happened to them. Bo-ring.
Excellent movie.
Hope I never have to explain myself for not wanting to be someones godfather.
@Bravewolf: I also think for the first time they realize that not everyone’s as enarmoured of their offspring as they are. It’s a shock. One they need to have more often.
@og217: Ah, but you see, somehow it’s special
And deep down I think they feel that somehow they are better or more evolved for having produced a child. It’s like they’ve somehow “arrived.” And if you go worships and bask, well, you can catch the glow and… arrive too! Saaad.
@Sebastyne: You don’t have to be a church member to be asked to be Godmother/father. Sometimes I’m tempted to say “not really” when asked the “isn’t s/he gorgeous?” question. I haven’t been able to bring myself to do it because I know the mother probably would never recover
Funny how we always have to hide our feelings and be mindful of theirs but they never have to so the same for us (those who haven’t/don’t want kids.
@ChrisOH: “I wonder if they are surprised by my not doting over the baby?”
I’d put money on it;)
@Lee: Thanks for the link… haven’t checked it out yet, but I will. I enjoyed your other links by the way. Good stuff!
@Childfreeeee: Actually, to be fair he didn’t “Come to his senses” as such. He didn’t have a child and he still didn’t want one. He didn’t even adopt and he didn’t end up with Marcus (the boy). BUT since he was frequenting single parent groups in order to get a date/relationship when he found one it came with strings – and a 10-14 year old child. He wanted the relationship so…
I found it harder to believe that Rachel Weiz’s character had such a crazy child.
It’s a very funny film, though. I recommend it. Hugh Grant is hilarious and I just loved how the film slyly gets at all those cliches. At the end, it’s told more from The Boy’s viewpoint..;)
@SwissBarb: And predictable
I watched it with new eyes. I’d never really clued in on the double standards when I watched it before. The look on the mothers face when he essentially said f%&*k off – absolutely no I will not be Godfather, was priceless.
@Lurker – One of my favourites
@Childfreeee – He plays those parts very well… young – ish, rich, single, bachelor…great catch just ready for someone with baby rabies to tie down with babies
@all – thanks for all your comments! My comment reply tool puts all mine at the end when replying… even though I’d like them to come after the comment itself. Oh well. Needs a little fiddling with.
Know that I read each and every one of your comments even though I’m not always able to reply to each one. You all have better comments than I do anyway
Lee – thanks for the double standard by Rendell comment! The smirk on his face at the end of quote said more about his real point of view rather than his “apology” afterwards. He may not even realise that he holds this backwards view, like a lot of people not even realising that they hold racist beliefs when they think that they are progressive or worldly. Preconceptions and prejudices die hard, especially if that was the way one was brought up.
That’s a great comeback on that character’s part!
This post was interesting to me because my boyfriend’s sister is having a baby. I wonder if he’ll be the godfather. Since we’re not married, we’re not “really” committed, so I won’t be the godmother. Which is fine because I respect the Catholic church too much: if that kid ever ended up with me I couldn’t promise I’d raise it Catholic.
Anyway, while I am making a baby scrapbook for her (I’m into paper crafting and this was the only way I could make myself excited about the whole situation) really, personally, I don’t care. Of course, I had to endure the “ooooh! look at her! she’s soooo cyooot!” while pointing at pictures of a sonogram. I was pretty much in a captive audience situation. bleh.
Atleast the boyfriend and I have already discussed things. I suspect, however, things will change once she gets here. Nevermind the possible bingos from the grandparents. They’re excited. They’ve been haranging her to have kids. It’s not necessarily her fault she couldn’t get pregnant right away.
Yeah, the “gorgeous” newborns who “look EXACTLY like John and have Mary’s eyes and Grandma’s feet,” etc., etc., etc. Um, WTF – it looks like ET and has Michelin Man’s arms and the vacant stare of the half-witted maintenance man in my office… Wait, did I say that out loud?