Merry Christmas You’re Working
I came across this article in today’s (Monday December 15th)Globe and Mail. As a childfree person, given the season it was especially relevant – the inference that, since you don’t have children:
- Christmas can’t possibly be important to you
- You have no family to spend time with
- You’re quite happy to come in and “cover” over Christmas – note we are talking expectation here
- You’re available to fill in while parents take two weeks off without a blink
- You have no life
- Your time off is less meaningful (than those with children)
- If you do have a life it’s of less importance because, hey, you haven’t sprogged so you can’t possibly need the time off (and parents do…)
I will leave you to read through the post…. and especially the comments.
Putting aside the 21 year old weather girl’s dubious expectations of paying her dues, the fact is that if you are single or childfree, in many companies there is an expectation by the childed and some others that they (the childed) get preference when it comes to taking time off at Christmas.
Reasons include those I’ve listed above. My views echo this one by Jennifer Hunter:
“legally people are entitled to take vacation time, and should be free to do so at a time of their choosing, not a time designated to be convenient after those who have children have submitted first dibs. While it is nice if co-workers can accommodate each other during the holiday season, no one should be forced to do so, simply because of their social status.”
Here is a comment from Shannon –
“I can understand the point of view of commentators and those quoted in the article, who feel that they should have as much right as any other person to take holidays over the end of December and beginning of January. I agree.
However, as a single mother whose babysitters and daycares have consistently informed me each year that they are not available to care for my child over the two weeks surrounding Christmas and New Year’s, and who has no family that would be available or capable of providing back up care, if I was not allowed to take one week of my three weeks of yearly vacation around Christmas, I would be forced to either take leave without pay or resign from my job.”
Well, Boo–bloody-hoo! So, what she’s saying is, because she’s can’t get sitters WE should care? Um… my advice. Take leave without pay or resign. It’s pretty simple, really. Actually it’s not a case of “those who feel they have as much right to time off…” we DO have as much right as anyone else to take time off over the Christmas period. Parents – single or otherwise don’t have more rights, they just think they do.
I have as much right to take my vacation entitlement at Christmas as anyone else. And while I may offer to come in, that does NOT imply that my needs are any more or any less important than any other worker in the office, childed or no.
I usually do come in between Christmas and New Year if I am not travelling simply because it’s pretty quiet. I take days off early in the New Year instead. But it’s my choice. It’s always been appreciated, but the moment it starts being “expected” that those with kids somehow get preference, I will react. My mum is a nurse and she worked night duty shifts when we were growing up. Because she was part of an emergency service, they used to rotate the time off… some would get Christmas and some would get New Year.
And I believe there should be no requirement for childfree or single people to explain why we want time off over Christmas. (Yes, we get asked that too and it’s ridiculous). Vacation/time off/cover should be decided fairly and equitably and quite frankly it’s nobody’s business what they are doing with their time off.
I have heard some stories of childed people actually stating they should have the time off on the basis that they “have kids and Christmas is about kids” and “they need to see smiles when kids open up their pressies in the morning…yadda, yadda.
And you will see some very interesting views in the comments.
I thought one of the best ones was by Zanny…
“You have to stand up for yourself. If you want to take holidays at Christmas let your boss know well ahead of time.
If someone says they deserve the time off more because they have kids simply tell them you don’t give a sh!t about their kids. You are only a victim if you let it be so”.
Hear, Hear!
If you are single or childfree when it comes to time off over Christmas – or any other vacation time for that matter – ensure you are proactive if and when you want the time off. Negotiate and insist on an equitable solution. State early on that you intend taking time off over the period. And don’t feel you need to explain… you don’t.
Share your thoughts – and if you are single please feel free to add yours too!
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Technorati Tags: childfree, childfree
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I used to work as a computer instructor at a community college, and Halloween was a big issue there. Every time there was an evening class on Halloween, students who had kids would complain that they couldn’t attend class because “there’s no one to take my kids trick or treating” or “I just have to see little Susie in her Piglet costume as she’s trick or treating…it’s so adorable!”
I refused to cancel class if it were on Halloween — I had a policy that they could have so many absences during a quarter before a grade was deducted. If they used one of those absences for trick or treat, then got sick later in the quarter and had to miss time that put them over the limit, too bad for them. So I told them to choose their absences wisely, then just went on with the class without them if they chose to not show.
Of course, *I* was still expected to be there and on time at any given class time to teach the class, regardless of what day it was.
My husband and I don’t have jobs which give us opportunity to take a long vacation very often, but luckily we’ve never been denied a vacation request in favor of a person-with-children who “needs it more.”
It has, however, been insinuated often that my husband shouldn’t mind his irregular schedule and should be willing to take overtime at all times because, “what do you care? you don’t have a family.” To which he always responded, “yes I do, I have a wife. Who I like and like to spend time with.”
I would be glad to work on Christmas, but only because I am not a Christian. However, both of our business places are closed on Christmas Day. But there are places where people do have to work, and I feel that if you don’t get your vacation request in, it doesn’t matter whether you have children or not: you work. It is unfair to assume that, because one has no children, one has no family and no desire to have off for Christmas Day.
I think it should be first come first serve. If I get to my boss first then I get it off, if my co-workers do then they do. Luckily I work with grandmothers mostly and they really have no say in that department but then again, I don’t celebrate xmas so I’m fine with working. Other holidays, that’s another story.
In my old workplace it was expected that if you worked Xmas then you got time off at New Year, and vice versa, and taking the whole holiday period off was permissible if you were going away, but you had to get in fast. It was a case of first come, first served.
Prior to that I served up a mighty guilt trip to a boss who wouldn’t agree my holidays in advance so that I could arrange a flight to visit my family many miles away; I told him that if he could eat his turkey dinner while imagining my dear old grandmother weeping into hers, because she couldn’t be together with her grandaughter, then he was welcome to allocate my holiday to someone else. He caved in sharpish.
Just because we don’t have kids doesn’t mean we don’t have families.
I’m the ONLY childfree person at my job, and so it’s generally assumed that on the holidays where we’re only open a half-day and the schools are closed, then I’ll come in an hour early to cover my coworkers shift, which I don’t mind because it’s only an hour and I get out an hour earlier for doing it, and it’s not like it’s a busy day anyway. Thankfully no one at this place has really given me shit about my vacations – I just took a week off to play World of Warcraft last month – but I have worked at places where it was assumed that I’d come in on Christmas morning because “you don’t need to unwrap gifts as soon as you get up.” I don’t care if I’m asked to work a holiday, but you’d better believe I get pissed as soon as they assume that I’ll do it.
At my job, it’s a case of first come first served. Plus, I work in a field that if for some reason (sick child, roof leaking, major snow storm, you name it), you can work from home. My boss is the best. She doesn’t care about seniority and we all got along fine for vacations. That way, I was able to take a day off to play World of Warcraft too!
There was an article on a similar subject on http://unscriptedlife.net/articles/working-it-out
My comment on that article was: my BF is a public radio journalist, for some time he worked the news shifts and whenever someone (childed, as nearly all his coworkers are) couldn’t cover an evening/night/weekend/holiday shift, he was the one they called. Or it’s the way his monthly schedule was systematically organized anyway. It didn’t matter what strain this put on our relationship, it didn’t matter how working very irregular shifts affected his health… he doesn’t have kids, so who cares!
The most recent update? Now BF prepares his own radio shows, he’s doing a recorded series these days and needed additional studio time… they gave him one in the late afternoon on the 24th………………… no comment!
Such discrimination makes me glad to be a civil servant and to be free as a bird when it comes to taking holidays or time off (well, I do like it for other more important reasons
).
In my profession as an RN, there is much less arguement over days off. There is an abundance of shifts (Four 10 hour shifts, three 12 hour shifts, three 8’s and one 12, five 8’s -all considered benifited full time) that allows more days off all year round and since we’re open 24/7/365 out of necessity holidays are negotiated fairly. What my employer does is posts a sheet with the major holidays on it and we rate them by order of importance to us 1-5 (our holidays are Thanksgiving, Day after Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas and New-Years). Then as the schedule is being made, they fit in the slots for who wanted what. Most everyone is accomodated and never is it assumed some people will work just because they haven’t got kids. Halloween is more of an issue for me. It isn’t a given holiday but those with kids complain about not getting to see their kid in the costume and go out. I happen to love that night! My own family did not celebrate it, in fact, sayed in the house with all the lights off in order for the trick-or-treaters to not come by! I don’t go overboard but I love passing out candy and putting up some scary decorations at the door and carving a pumpkin! I get to see all the neighborhood kids and they’re excited to show off their costumes to me – (perfect example that being childfree doesn’t mean I hate kids) and we’re not even mentioning the adult Halloween parties and scary hay-rides! I had to stand up for myself this year as a childed person excused herself from work to go trick-or-treating and while they let her do that they went straight to ME to pick up her slack when I had already had that day off. NO SIR!! That did NOT go through. Although I got my day off, they just went to the next childfree person and got it covered.
I find it incredibly insulting to hear someone say that we are not a family, or that I don’t have a family. “Family” is not synonymous with “hideous screeching litter” and having one doesn’t define families. I haven’t been asked to cover holidays for people, but it is irritating that I have to be here and take time off for dentist appointments, or to take my husband to a doctor, while the milking brigade that is our admin staff jets in and out for all sorts of random crap, half th etime running errands like grocery shopping, and its overlooked, since they are “frazled new mommies.” Whoever said “I don’t give a sh!t about your kid” was right on. I’m a frazzled new wife, homeowner, sudoku player, whatever. Who cares? In the words of Madonna: I’m not your b!tch, don’t take your sh!t out on me.
What I always did was put in for my vacation months in advance. If the boss tried to change it — and I had a few who waited until it was almost time for me to take off to do so — I informed them that I had made travel arrangements that could not be changed.
I loved this comment :
“DINKS (Double income no kids) and SINKS, are not creating the future tax base, who will be paying for their own medical bills.
So they can contribute in other ways.
In some respects, the baby boomers, who had 1.7 children per family (some were dinks and sinks) contributed to the present health care crisis by not having kids 25 years ago. We have no nurses and doctors in training and the boomers are in our hospitals.
So, at the very least they can babysit the phone.
Suck it up.”
(yawn) so here we are back on the old “people with no kids are not contributing to society”. Actually, the health care system is in crisis because of the crap pay and moronic management, but we’ll blame the childfree anyway, because it’s covenient and I’m ignorant. Whatever.
I like working Christmas in an office job, because it’s quiet, you can skive off early because there’s nobody there to check on you, and I get to save my vacation time for when the places I want to go are not overrun with screaming hellions on school vacations. So laugh it up Bob baby, it works for me!
I agree with the first come first served thing.
I would be happy to work over Xmas if I didn’t have travel plans esp. if I got overtime. However hubby would not be so happy. He’s Muslim but celebrates Christmas and he really looks forward to spending most of them with me. I think it should be a choice not an obligation! Lucky as a teacher this is a non issue for me but I agree that it should be first come first served!
I would like to know which companies will give a holiday easier to childed people than to childless people.
I can understand that when it comes to asking favors or needing an extra hand, that the manager would not call all the childed people, since they know already the answer will probably no. So, they end up asking childfree people instead (or as you want to state it; people who the manager can rely on. But also childfree have a right to say no, just as much. You do not need an excuse to say no, if it are not your normal working hours.
And about getting a day off or holiday, don’t you make a contract for that?
I am a childed person and I know that it is hard to combine children with a job. When going for job interviews, I did not get many jobs because of the fact that I am childed. And I did accept that. When I finally did land a job, it was only because they were desperate and I could even get the job under my own conditions (less hours, more holidays, etc). But it also does mean that I am back on the street if they find someone with the same capabilities who is childfree.
Everybody makes choices in their life and it will all influence other aspects in our life. What is fair? Who knows? All I know is that we can’t have it all! Choices will have to be made.
Suzanne: I’ve always wondered about this when people claim they weren’t hired because they have kids. How on earth would the interviewer know whether or not you have kids? If you think you would be discriminated against for having them, why wouldn’t you just NOT mention it?
EmmaSteinfels,
There are questions an interviewer can ask that are not illegal. I learned what they were while I was job hunting. And I asked them too when I would interview. The questions asked are regarding availability. One of my favorite questions to ask at one particular job was how I needed to be available on weekends and evenings and would the be available to support me.
I got all sorts of answers. One of which (now, I NEVER asked the guy his age) was how old he was and that he’s “done his time” etc. etc. I recommended against hiring him. Sorry, not for THIS job you haven’t done your time. (And he was just creepy all around to boot.) Some even voluntarily TOLD me about their children and time restrictions. Frankly, I’d rather know that ahead of time. All things being equal, I wanted the person who had availability for me.
Suzanne,
I don’t know where you live, but here in the United States, some states have what is called “right to work.” There are no contracts. Well, maybe if you do contract work. But generally speaking there are no contracts for time off and it’s considered a “benefit.” i.e. An employer doesn’t even HAVE to legally give you vacation time. They do so to attract employees. That’s how it is here in Texas. Which SUCKS.
It seems that in the main, first come first served operates which is good to hear or at the very least getting the request in first is important. That at least is so much better than being expected to work the holidays simply because you don’t have kids.
Boxermom – so it looks like Halloween is the one to watch. And there is still the expectation that a childfree person will give up already book vacation to cover. Interesting.
@Swissbard – it seems the discrimination is alive and well where your BF works. What a shame.
@Kat – I saw that comment too and had similar thoughts. For some ignorance is bliss. I also don’t mind going in between Christmas and New Year… it’s wonderfully quiet – you can get work done undisturbed. And I can keep my vacay for more useful times.
Suzanne – don’t know all the circumstances, however if you proved at interview that you could do the job (i.e. you’re able to make arrangements for childcare etc so that there was no impact on your ability to do the job) it’s hard to eliminate people just because they had kids. Also don’t know what type of company it was. I am pretty sure that in Canada a company could get into hot water for discounting a person simply because they had kids. Here they are not even allowed to ask if a candidate has children.
Which is not to say it doesn’t happen. Unfortunately (and not saying this is you) some intervewees start by saying they need time off for their kids activities, or somehow give the interviewer cause to thing their performance is going to suffer because of childcare responsibilities. Basically they shoot themselves in the foot.
No employer is going to be keen on that. As CFSince Six says… they need to know the candidate will be available to do the job in the stated hours otherwise it’s a problem.
First time piping up – hello!
I’ve been pretty lucky that my jobs haven’t hit me in this regard. For a long time my work environment was one where nobody had kids and we worked most holidays so we could take time off when we wanted it (the office was never so crowded as the 4th of July when all the part-timers who had other full-time jobs came in too). Other places it was simply first-come-first-serve, though people who were traveling somewhere tended to get preference. I hadn’t actually thought about it much until recent years when a lot of my age group started having kids.
Recently, I was asked to take care of one of my closest friend’s 2-year-old kid while she has to work the day after Christmas. She doesn’t have any time off left because she’s had to take sick days through the year every time her kid gets a sniffle, because the daycare won’t let him in. (Of course, the daycare is also where he gets most of those sniffles.) And the daycare is closed over the holidays, similar to what someone above was saying often happens. I finally said no after dithering about it a lot. I am flying cross-country to visit my mother (my family!) and local friends for a week, it’s not like I live nearby anymore… I want to visit with HER, not babysit her kid, and I find it very weird that she turned to a person she sees once or twice a year to ask this. I’ve never taken care of a kid that young (I’ve hardly ever been in charge of a kid younger than 12, and they’ve always been at an age to communicate well), but she brushed off my concern and said he was easy. That’s not much reassurance. He’s a two-year-old kid I’ve met three times for brief durations and I doubt he even remembers me.
I sympathize that daycare is both expensive and inconvenient in many ways when it’s really needed. But… I didn’t say this to her, and I won’t, but… she chose to have this kid. It’s a lot of work and a lot of inconvenience and a lot of expense. Those are all reasons I don’t want any. And I don’t really want to give up part of my vacation to care for a kid because she has to work.
Not quite the same thing as the original topic, but it tied in and I’ve been dwelling on that request for some time now. Hope that’s okay!
Lianne, I see the tie in.
1) A parent came to you thinking you didn’t have anything else to do (since you don’t have a child like she does) and so she decided to ask you. Why doesn’t she ask other childed people who DID get the time off to take care of her kids? If he’s “so easy,” one more brat to their brood on that one day should be “no big deal.”
2) The fact that she dismissed YOUR plans in favor of what she wants is insulting. Glad you stood up for yourself.
What parents tend to forget and is that just because we’re adults doesn’t mean we’re not someone ELSE’S child. So we’re in a “family” too, if only by that regard.
I just had an interesting thought – if having children is so imperative, yawn, then shouldn’t the people without children have oodles more time off? You know, so that they can meet someone to breed with? Shouldn’t singles get all of December off just to schmooze around cocktail parties and pick up someone? And those poor married couples with no children should get “Sex Days Off” like they do in Russia so that they can have sex and hopefully breed! (Yes, there is such a thing – some state in Russia declared some random days “sex days off” in an attempt to boost population growth. Whoever gave birth on that day got a free refrigerator. Whoopee! A refrigerator in Siberia, just for me! Probably wouldn’t even need to plug it in, lol. And a screaming kid as a bonus! Where do I sigh up?)
HA OG217! Now that’s a funny idea!
A few things…
If most companies are first come, first served, in the vacation department, why does anyone think it’s appropriate to get special treatment when they get their vacation request in late? The dates of most major holidays are known well ahead of time, so it’s not like these things are unexpected.
What is this need to do whatever family based present opening ritual on the exact day of the holiday? The week before, the week after, or in a different month altogether, when you’re shopping for and/or opening presents the result is going to be the same. And when it comes to shopping, it just might be better to have it done.
Why do parents, or anyone really, feel it is a requirement to take off to travel on holidays in the first place? It’s a well known fact that when EVERYONE ELSE is traveling at the same time the weather is at it’s worst, it’s going to be a horrific experience of waiting due to overload on the system and/or weather delays. This is the exact reason why I will NEVER set foot anywhere near an airport during November and December. Why not celebrate christmas with the extended and distant relations at another time so one can enjoy a quiet, lower stress, vacation at home in December?
I put in for holidays in advance and never had any issues. It’s last minute stuff that seems totally slanted. If I have to be out of the office last minute for a chipped filling or a burst pipe at the house, its not as easily accomodated as a daycare “emergency”.