1. If one needs/is looking for scientific data to support the childfree decision, the most recent studies done do conclude that child free couples are happier than couples with children.

2. Who is to say that parenting is not “an experiment” for a lot of people. Given the fact that it in all cultures it is taboo to admit you don’t like being a parent, assuming that everyone does enjoy it is rather naive. For instance, if you type “I hate being a mom” into Google, you’ll get over 23 million hits.

3. Whether you choose to parent or not, there are no guarantees that you will have a meaningful, fulfilling life unless you have made the effort to create one.

4. If you would like to gain some insight into the reality of old age for many people in the U.S., volunteer in a nursing home or retirement community. Those who have children are lucky if they see them twice a year.

5. The writer seems to assume that the only reason that people choose to not have children is so that they can amass a fortune or live a life unfettered from responsibility. There are wealthy people with children who leave the “mentoring” to nannies and there are medium income childfree people who volunteer (mentor) in their communities. There are medium income parents who don’t mentor their own children, let alone other other people’s, and there are childfree millionaire/billionaire philanthropists who, in a variety of ways, help to support/educate/mentor thousands every year. While it’s easy to bin people, it’s not particularly useful

6. You will most likely not ever get a definitive ruling from on high about the childfree choice. Obviously, what makes people happy varies greatly from person to person. However, as I type this, the planet is deciding for everyone what works and what doesn’t. We cannot continue to sustain the current level of population growth without doing more permanent damage to the environment. In the coming decades we will reach a tipping point where life as we know it will be ecologically unsupportable.

however..although the no-kids lifestyle might suit someone NOW..how would he feel when he was 59?

would he still prize the relative social independence and financial freedom?

or would their lustre have begun to wane..and a deep-seated primordial desire for genetic survival and a new role as mentor and elder begin to emerge as a rival in his psyche?

it would be interesting to know what child-free people (particularly men) feel as they are on their deathbed.

could it possibly be a vague but definite sense of ’something being missing’…no matter how many millions they made and spent in their lives?

i guess its hard to know, the child-free experiment is only really beginning.

which doesnt help current deciders much!

Of course, if you listen for it you can squash that argument early. And at least there are no chances for getting oopsed.

There are so many angles to explore from the childfree man’s point of view, and I would love to hear more of them and blog them for discussion.

I’m younger than either of you, and believe me, my ego was once huge enough to fulfill several life times (younger time and flush with cash, people, drugs and alcohol were once mere objects), but I also long ago realized questioning the moral majority of any clique brings out all the nasty stereotypes and opinions!

Don’t get me wrong, I am CF and have been all my life (I’m nearly 31) and have faced every bingo (and more – being female) that you have.

However, being a little bit older than you – and please don’t take this as a patronising comment – I have also learned that one size does not fit all.

Much as it pains you, there are people out there who DO want children. Not all of them are ‘breeders’ – many of them are fine and fit parents – and they have made a mature and reasoned choice to have children. This does not make them ’sheeple’.

On the other hand, CF people have made the considered and rational choice to NOT have children. This does not make them ‘rebels’, ‘deviants’ or ‘outwith the herd’ – they have simply made a choice.

I am not in any way mocking or degenerating your feelings – just pointing out that the fact that we have chosen to be CF does not make us in any way superior to or better than those who have chosen (please note my use of the word ‘chosen’) to have children.

A superior attitude and use of derogatory language (particularly with reference to women) will not get you far in any world, CF or otherwise.

I congratulate you on your obviously mature and rational choice, but would caution you against lumping any section of society into one fallow category, lest it jump out and bite you on the a*se.

Best of luck.

Such decision will not be changed to satisfy anyone else and once it’s done it won’t be reversed because a) it could be potentially health-endangering b) it’s expensive c) I’ve made up my mind. This procedure is far from being a disadvantage. I think childfree couples can be actually more fulfilling than breeder ones because the former’s members have the opportunity to enjoy one another in the fullest possible terms due to the fact the bond they share is not about children at all (they have the chance to focus on both themselves and each other) so that provides a solid ground for a very rewarding long-term relationship. Furthermore, more often than not, childfree-minded girls and women tend to be cooler, smarter, funnier and far more interesting (and, from a male perspective, I’ve got to tell you that I realise their natural charm/beauty lasts longer) than female breeders. The typical breeder lifestyle is possibly one of the most boring things ever. I think that men and women who regard their SOs as mating partners behave in an insulting manner because that reflects that they see them as little more than walking wombs/sperm donors.

Thus, I think it’s fairly reasonable to conclude that childfree men and women are actually more thoughtful, mindful, respectful and considerate than their breeder counterparts.

Britgirl, kindest regards and best wishes to you and to all of your readers!

“To have your parents discussing things involving MY vagina and my husband’s penis is enough to make me retch. In what alternate universe is this an acceptable topic to bring up?”

Love this comment!!!! Now I just need to figure out how to put it into a comeback for a bingo – that will shut bingoers up quickly!

Just kidding!

2nd ad was for Home Depot… young wife gets gift for young dad…and he’s very happy – until she gestures to her tummy (obviously has bun in oven) which is even GREATER, more perfect, more wonderful gift than silly old hammer drill.
Insurance. Home. Very Guy.

Boys, they are talking to you, so that vasectomy might be the only line of defence. And since you will also come under pressure to reverse it, best to be prepared for the pressure.

I think a lot of the poison directed at women who are childfree is done so because of old, ingrained thoughts that women are allegedly easier to bully, push around and manipulate into following the crowd. But if more childfree men gathered in a group and make their voices just as loud against mindless breeding, I believe a lot of the childfree opponents would have to back up.

I did a double-take when I read about the second relative giving you the bingoes…. a man! Normally I imagine women being the ones who are so nosy as to question someone’s reproductive status and men being more circumspect. Since you’re in your early twenties, I’m sure you get the “you’ll change your mind when you’re older” argument from family and other busybodies, but I think it’s awesome that you have come to this decision so early. Kudos and thanks for sharing.

Britgirl… I love the redesign, btw.

Thanks for sharing your story, childfreeman. I used to think ( because of the way males talk) that I’d have no trouble at all finding a man who didn’t want children, but the opposite ended up being true. Two husbands, both of whom ended up wanting children. Hence, two divorces.

I was starting to wonder if there were any men (besides the one I’m married to now) who honestly didn’t want kids, and it’s nice to know you’re out there.

(Why?)

Because, I think, men have a lot less personal involvement (no pregnancy, no breastfeeding, no expectations of being the primary nurturer), they’re less likely to have a strong desire to NOT have children.

And women, because of their larger involvement, are probably far more likely to say “No! GOD no!”

Your reluctance suggests to me you’re aware that your part in being a father would involve a lot more than donating sperm.

But with 7 men on your team you might have a very different situation. Can’t wait to hear