Kids Love Parents Unconditionally, Even as Adults. Seriously?

I mean, seriously?

My readers have done it again. Thank for sending me what has to be one of the more ridiculous posts I’ve read in a while. Keep the links coming everyone…they are much appreciated because they invariably make for great discussions. On to this week’s find.

What’s ridiculous about the 40 Reasons to have kids (apart from some of the 40 reasons to have kids), is that it’s supposedly a “one-up” type reaction to Corrine Maier, the oft-lambasted mother who says she regrets having kids. Actually worse than lambasted. Because she’s been rather too honest about what many mothers secretly think, she’s probably been branded wrong – to put it mildly.  So the National Post felt it had to respond in kind… with 40 reasons to have kids.

40 Reasons to have kids?

It’s interesting how parents got their knickers in a twist at Ms Maier… because they were not her audience. Single (childfree) women were her main audience. But that didn’t seem to matter to those who felt moved to tell her she was an evil, selfish woman. Sound familiar? And she’s not even childfree!

Here’s what one reader said about Ms Maier and the childfree…

“I do not understand the debate concerning choosing to have children,” wrote Heather Moore. “To me, it’s simple: The human mandate is to procreate. Otherwise there is no reason for our existence. My experience has been that children are a great blessing, and a hell of a lot of work. Those that choose not to have children, as kids would ‘cramp their style,’ are selfish, and all attempts to couch their childless stature as a valid choice ring hollow.”

Luckily we don’t require Heather Moore’s understanding.

And here is a rebuttal to another article by a pro-child-corrine-maier-is-wrong-you-must-have-kids brigade – far more balanced.

In defence of not having kids

Back to the 40 reasons to have kids…how’s this for a reason?

Nothing smells better than freshly washed kids.

Note that most of the reasons to have kids are because of what the kids do for their parent’s?

It’s not that any of these reasons are untrue… what’s odd is the need to make a list in the first place. On the other hand, if we childfree listed the times we’ve been told why we should have kids (regardless of what we want) some of these are probably on the list anyway.

I’ll leave you to make up your minds… as always share your thoughts. What do you think of the list? Of the fact that it was needed?  Here’s a thought… what if we listed all the reasons people have bingoed us with… it’d be more interesting than these 40 reasons….except it will be called. 40 reasons you MUST have kids.

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49 thoughts on “Kids Love Parents Unconditionally, Even as Adults. Seriously?

  1. Pingback: Naruto and Frieds Dress Up « Naruto

  2. lisa

    That list is appalling. Most of those things are either completely untrue (you need kids to get to meet the neighbours, or that kids make you slow down and appreciate life – seriously?), annoying (they like to bake – great, a big mess for me to clean up and I don’t even like cake) they cancel each other out (sound of happy kids playing is just as common as the sound of angry kids fighting) or just plain unrealistic (implying that the kids mow the lawn? haha)

    A few I especially wanted to respond to:

    -Their successes give you reason to feel proud, if not because you helped, then because they are related.
    //…or is it because you no longer have any successes of your own to feel proud of. Apart from your BEAUTIFUL KIDS of course.

    -You get to colour, paint, cut and paste whenever you like.
    //I get to do that now, because I don’t have kids to look after.

    -Kids make you laugh more, and that creates good brain chemicals.
    //Enough to counteract the stress that is slowly killing you?

    There is certainly nothing on that list that made me think for even a second that I was missing out on anything by not having them…. well, anything GOOD at least!

    I suppose the need to make it came out of insecurity. It isn’t geared towards helping people make an informed decision (as the “why not to” lists usually are).

  3. Lee

    With a few exceptions I can make the same statements about my husband or friends or family members (I do love a freshly scrubbed mate ;) ) .The difference is I didn’t create aforementioned humans to supply me with reasons to live.

    As far as Ms. Moore’s dreary comment about how selfish the child-free are; I’m still waiting for someone to provide a valid explanation re: who suffers as a result of my child-free choice. Am I meant to believe that I am carrying unfertilized eggs who are pining away and resenting me for not providing the opportunity for them to meet the sperm of their dreams? Child-free = selfish is a spurious correlation.

  4. Pingback: Role Reversal: When Adult Children Should Talk To Parents About Money

  5. Amysue

    About half of her resons are on my list NOT to have children.

    Seriously? Watching the sun rise at hockey practice?? If I want to watch the sun rise, I’ll do it under my conditions, thank you very much.

  6. Lurker

    The list even strengthen my desire to NOT have kids. Actually I was expecting some good points to make me think twice about the CF choice..

    Anybody read “50 reasons to NOT have kids…and what to do if you have them anyway”?..Not bad at all..

    1. Britgirl Post author

      @ Lurker I must say when I went to the list I expected sterner stuff. I thought it so pathetic that at first I wondered whether it was a joke. But then I saw “Nothing smells better than freshly washed kids…” and thought, maybe, maybe not, because I’ve actually had someone say that to me. As well as kids loving you unconditionally. Maybe we’ll get the writer over here laughing at us for believing it. Or writing a rebuttal on the National Post :)

  7. Xena

    This list is so pathetic I’ll chalk it up as a point for the Child-Free. Even with the few items I might consider pluses, Ms. Moore was desperately grabbing at straws: “Who takes out the garbage?” and “Kids like to fold laundry.”

    They can’t even begin to compensate for the amount of garbage/laundry they generate. They can’t do these things at all when they’re babies and you’d have to nag them to do it when they’re teens.

  8. Soldatka

    It’s a pretty rubbish list. Really, if having kids was so great, you’d think there would be better reasons than this. I’ll fold my own bloody laundry, thanks.

  9. emma23miller

    What was really funny to me is how the writer put in those 4 “reasons”:

    “-Chinese checkers.
    -Monopoly.
    -The Game of Life.
    -Risk.”

    I guess she just didn’t have enough reasons and needed filler :D

    BTW, Cathy Naus wrote a whole article for the post:
    http://www.nationalpost.com/related/topics/story.html?id=1938093

    “At some point after my third child was born, I decided that I would stop trying to keep up with meetings and goings on in the evening with friends. I began to focus on being at home, deepening and enjoying family life, while I had the chance”

    Totally strikes me as the breeder, no-life-outside-the kids type (and also reeks of “a woman’s place is in the home” idea the post is so fond of). She also homeschools her kids. Of course.

    1. Britgirl Post author

      What always there is how they simply can’t accept that a woman’s life can be rich without having kids. Or the notion that anyone could possibly regret having kids…. because they personally don’t! Because it’s not their life script, it must be wrong and as far as they are concerned, that’s all there is to it.

      You can almost hear the superior sub-text “just wait till get to 50, THEN, you’ll see… THEN you’ll regret it. And yes, the Post just lurrves those thinkers. Poor homeschooled kids… they might do better if they were exposed to rather broader thinking…

      1. M

        Here’s the thing about that “Just wait, you’ll regret not having kids when you’re 50 (or whatever age)” rejoinder: you know what? Maybe I might have a twinge of regret when I’m biologically past the age when it’s remotely a good idea to have a child au naturale, but there are a lot of things I’m sure I’ll regret not doing (hiking the complete Appalachian Mt. Trail, seeing the glaciers in Patagonia before they’re all gone, etc. – although I’m going to try like hell to do them anyway). Doesn’t mean I can’t satisfy that “parenting” urge with more volunteering with children or becoming a teacher or providing a stable foster home or growing closer relationships with (grand) nieces and nephews! I’ve always felt that it’s more important for me to pass on what I know than my DNA anyway and who is to say that any kid I birthed would inherit the traits I’d like to see passed on either? This whole emphasis on having biological children as the only pathway to fulfilling that “parenting urge” is ridiculous.

  10. Bravewolf

    Why does this woman feel she needs an excuse to enjoy board games, life at a slower pace or creating art? There seems to be a real notion among parents that kids “legitimize” enjoying simple things, which I find offensive – like someone is “weird” who wants to enjoy these things without children to give them an excuse.

  11. boxermom

    While I thought the list was laughable from the very first point, (do they really believe their kids love them unconditionally?) I think they’re making a point by getting the childfree to talk about it. I believe the list was flippant on purpose – poking fun at those of us who say we don’t care about them, the breeders – and yet we troll articles like that one so we have something to talk about. Sorry Britgirl, if you think it’s odd they made a list then why did we as well? The lists we childfree may have made are possibly better thought out, more serious and realistic and might even have some reasoning to enlighten the fence-sitters but at the root of it, it’s still a list defending our position and they have as much a right to do that as we do. Besides, if their list was serious and supposed to be their equivalent for the ‘pro-kids’ argument, then those who haven’t made a decision yet have excellent reasons to not have kids from our point of view and those not-so-excellent reasons for!

    I love reading this blog and have been keeping up with it and reading through the archives for quite a while now but I’m sad to see the trend in topics and communication starting to sound quite a lot like the breeder’s attitude. It’s getting to be a “tit-for-tat” board instead of a positive place for people to come and discuss the decision to be childfree. We all need a place to vent on this topic I know, especially since our choice isn’t the most popular one in our culture, but I would argue though that I’d rather feel better about my choice in a positive way instead of by completely negating their decisions and reasoning (no matter how odd, shallow or silly). If we take the high-road then no matter what, they come out looking the worse for it.
    I don’t believe the “40 Reasons To Have Kids” list was at all serious. Yes, those might have been secondary reasons for them to choose their lifestyle but really, if anybody was going to make a list defending their position they would not choose to use reasons that are so easily shot down. Take a breath or a step back – have a laugh but really, it shouldn’t matter to us so much! I’m going to take a long walk on this beautiful fall day with my dogs – not a care in my world and not a kid in it either! Don’t mean to be a downer but thought we needed some perspective.

    1. Britgirl Post author

      @Boxermom – “and yet we troll articles like that one so we have something to talk about. Sorry Britgirl, if you think it’s odd they made a list then why did we as well?”

      Thanks for sharing.

      First, everyone has a right to air their opinion on the posts. For the record neither I nor I believe readers who send me very interesting links asking for my opinion or readers’ opinions “troll articles like that one for something to talk about.”

      Any article touching on aspects of being childfree is of interest, fair game and worth discussing and commenting on. My point (which you missed, or perhaps I didn’t make clearly enough) is why they felt the need to make a list to specifically “one-up” the childfree – which is why it was written in the first place. Of course they have the right to make a list a post, they are free to do anything they want. And I’m free to comment. I thought the list was rather pathetic, but that’s me. Maybe the list wasn’t serious, who knows – but that’s neither here nor there really. And if their point was to get the childfree talking about it… so what? As I said, everyone’s free to comment as to their thoughts about whatever posts I do… or not.

      Now to your criticism of this blog. My approach is quite simple: I blog about anything and everything I think is interesting or I think is worth writing about when it comes to being childfree or related to being childfree. And that means anything. My approach hasn’t changed since I began blogging – except perhaps that I now get more links sent me from readers with interesting articles to blog about – which is a wonderful time saver for me. My view is my own… except where I use the views of readers and when it comes to posts, people can disagree with me on the articles if they wish. Again that’s what the comments are for.

      I don’t sit here scratching my head thinking “hey, I’ll do a tit for tat to be just like… those pesky… parents!)” For one thing I have neither the time nor the inclination.For another, I’ve no need. And there is no “trend.”

      If you feel the topics are becoming “just like the breeders attitude” or you don’t like the topics here anymore – well, what can I say? Perhaps it’s time to move on to another blog that’s more suitable or just not read Like It Is anymore. I won’t be hurt, honest. :). I hope you decide to stay with us but if not, best wishes and thanks for your contributions to the blog!

  12. Irishgirl

    I had to address the comment made in the post. I just had to. I’m not taking the high road, because someone that obnoxious needs to be challenged.

    “I do not understand the debate concerning choosing to have children,” wrote Heather Moore. “To me, it’s simple: The human mandate is to procreate. Otherwise there is no reason for our existence.”

    Ah, evolution and evolutionary psychology – the last resorts of blithering idiots. Let’s put this to bed, shall we? In prehistoric times, the man only stuck around long enought to ensure that the infant (who carried his genes) and the mother (the safeguard of his genes) were safe, typically for about 2 years. After all, reproduction is the only purpose in life, so the man have to impregnate as many women as possible. But I don’t see Moomy MacMooMoo claiming that men should leave their partners and infant children because it’s, like, biology and there is no purpose in life other than procreating. This looks like – to use the ancient tool of understatement – an attempt to take the parts of a dubious science which you like to justify whatever it is you want to do, while ignoring anything inconvenient.

    “My experience has been that children are a great blessing,”

    Yes, YOUR experience.

    “and a hell of a lot of work.”

    So effing what? What exactly does this have to do with the topic? This just looks like a desperate attempt to point out that she’s doing THJITW (TM).

    “Those that choose not to have children, as kids would ‘cramp their style,’ are selfish, and all attempts to couch their childless stature as a valid choice ring hollow.””

    And your attempt to couch your life style choices in psudo science so you don’t have to take responsibility for your actions is pathetic. Grow up. Your only reason for having children is “well, I have a functioning uterus, therefore I MUST have babies! It’s my only purpose!” (See her first quote.)

    If having children was really so fulfilling, the fact that some people don’t want them would’t make you feel so threatened. You wouldn’t feel the need to use strawmen (“Cramp their style”? Nice way to dismiss all the aspects of parenthood we don’t want.) People who are truly happy with their lives do not see red when someone else doesn’t want the same things. I’m not furious because other people want different relationships, don’t want to live in the suburbs, not be teachers or choose to have religious faith. You just seem like someone who went into motherhood because it was the done thing, and is now defensive because other people realise that they have a choice.

  13. Josh

    I think these 2 are my favorite:

    -You never have to grocery shop alone — and they help load the bags.

    -Grocery shopping alone sometimes feels like a special treat.

    Seriously, I’m pretty lazy, but I don’t mind loading and unloading my grocery bags a couple times a month. If you can’t handle that, how in the world do you keep up with the brats the rest of the time.

    On the follow-up point, why is doing something you would otherwise hate, so long as it’s away from the kids, a reason to have kids? Nothing says “I’m glad I had kids” better than saying you’ll do absolutely anything, no matter how much it sucks, to get away from them for awhile.

    I’m sure there are some good lists out there, but this is a joke.

  14. Anne-Marie

    I didn’t even finish reading the list. I’ve seen enough students screaming, shouting and mistreating their parents before their tenth birthdays to know that if the first line is a crock, there’s no point in even continuing to read.

    And while I never behaved overtly rudely to my mother growing up, I do not love her unconditionally, and really never did. I suspect her feelings towards her 3 children was more one of duty than unconditional love as well.

    I think this list was a lame attempt at humour, with a dash of delusion in there.

  15. emma23miller

    I thought the point of this blog was to have a discussion and share information with like-minded people. I don’t see a need to censor ourselves and only talk about the positive, that’s not how life works. And you can have a positive attitude in life while still enjoying venting, ranting, and poking fun. (:

    If everyone “takes the high road”, does not call attention to items in the news relating to being childfree and instead just chuckles to themselves quietly when they read something silly or obnoxious, then how is the blog supposed to work? With people just saying “Oh, I am so happy being childfree, aren’t you?…what a nice day..”
    That would make for a boring blog.

    There are negative and even venomous childfree blogs out there, this one is not one of them.

  16. Lurker

    The archives of this blog are filled with insight, perspective, reflection, humour, respect and understanding of the audience.

    Can one ask for more:)

    If that list was an attempt to start discussions within or attack CF “groups”, then I would say its like using a bow and arrow against a tank. In other words, who cares! There are anyway few valid excuses for such a crap-list.

  17. boxermom

    Won’t be back don’t worry all – tired of all the whining. There were interesting DISCUSSIONS here found in the archives. Lately it seems just *here’s an article*, everybody reads and then starts quoting and whining. What about a topic about….our most enjoyable moments about being childfree…no article needed? Or what activity(s) we put most of our efforts into outside of our jobs? What makes us feel happy and fulfilled? Just saying…searching the news for more to pick at is getting old because that’s the easy way to do it, have some imagination.

    1. Bravewolf

      Alas, poor blog! I knew it, BritGirl: a blog
      of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy: it hath
      brought me new posts a thousand times; and now, how
      abhorred in my imagination it is! my gorge rims at
      it. Here hung those posts that I have replied to I know
      not how oft. Where be your gibes now? your
      gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
      that were wont to set the table on a roar? Not one
      now, to mock your own grinning? quite chap-fallen?

  18. Asp

    To paraphrase something I read elsewhere on the web: Whenever I don’t like a group of people/am bored of their discussions/don’t like their attitudes, I simply terminate contact with them. I don’t understand the need to have an insulting grand finale before leaving – I blame reality television.

    Personally, I would agree with boxermom that the articles of late have not been very controversial and therefore have not sparked much actual “discussion”. Here’s the thing: There is nothing wrong with that. You can’t visit the opera and have a five star meal every single day. Sometimes you just want a movie and a trip to McDonalds (I suck at making analogies).

    1. Britgirl Post author

      @Asp…thanks. The objective of this blog isn’t to be “controversial” although that doesn’t mean we won’t discuss controversial things. The very fact we are childfree generates controversy in and of itself. I think there’s been plenty of discussion on all posts as a whole. If some prefer to describe the discussion as “whining” I’d say they’re a whiner themselves. Over the years we’ve discussed a range of topics, covering almost every aspect of being childfree. It’s a mix and it always will be. I get email from readers all the time, either sending me something they found and thought would be good for discussion or sharing a personal experience they had, asking for my view and suggesting readers might like to discuss. I consider them all. I don’t recall Boxermom writing with any suggestions, so to come and “whine” about the articles on the blog now really doesn’t cut it. But I’m sure there are plenty of other blogs that talk about how nice it is to be childfree and ignore everything else.

      Domino and others have said it. And if it’s okay for a news media outlet to publish (often inaccurate) stories about childfree people and childfree living, I find it hard to understand why we’d be ignoring it here.

      1. Asp

        Erm… this is one of those cases where I hate internet communication. If I somehow managed to offend anyone, I am sorry, it was not my intent. I am a big fan of this blog, and I was not trying to critisize anyone or tell you how you should run your blog. If I somehow gave you that impression, again, I am sorry. Reading my comment again, I can see how I might have given the wrong impression and my only defense is: that is why I rarely post online.

        If I misunderstood what you were trying to say… well see above.

        Anyway, one of the things I like about this blog is that even when the discussion is about a non-controversial issue, someone always manages to deliver the “wise words of the day” as we say where I live. Keep up the good work!

        1. Asp

          Oh ****, seems I managed to mess up my comment again. The last paragraph was supposed to be used for another comment. The way it is written makes it look like I am being sarcastic. I’m not, I swear!

          There just isn’t enough proofreading in the world to make up for my shitty online communication skills…..

          I’ll shut up now.

          1. Britgirl Post author

            Hey – No worries… I understood what you were trying to say :). I didn’t take it as being sarcastic. Gotta love online communication.

        2. Britgirl Post author

          EEK! – Asp, no, you didn’t offend, far from it. I was just expanding in response to your comment. If it came across differently, my apologies. No need to for you to apologize :)

      2. M

        @ Brit Girl – just wanted to chime in and say that I’ve enjoyed reading your blog – keep up the good work! There’s been a lot of great discussion on posts and as someone who’s found herself moving closer and closer to defining herself as CF (with not a little push back from my partner), it’s been immensely helpful reading similar stories and differing viewpoints from others on this blog. Entries about the “positives” of being CF are nice, but the benefits are kind of self-evident, in my opinion, and don’t need that much discussion or affirmation – at some point it becomes more a “patting one’s self on the back” kind of exercise; there’s more to be gained from discussing the more complicated aspects of being CF – how to navigate friendships, relationships with your family, public perception, etc.

        I agree with Domino and others who have pointed out that as a minority, it is a good idea for CFers to be aware of what’s being said in popular media about being childfree and how childfree people are being portrayed in order to combat stereotypes and sweeping generalizations. I would never assume that someone is lazy, self-entitled or smug just because they are a parent and it only seems fair for those with kids to do the same by not immediately assuming that the childfree are bitter, hard-hearted child-haters – it just sucks that the latter has to be pushed for far more than the former. There are definitely examples of both sides of the spectrum – and since they tend to be the loudest and most obnoxious, they get the most attention – but I’d like to think that most of us fall in the middle and respect each others’ choices without seeing them as a reflective judgment of our own lives.

    2. M

      Not a bad analogy. Iif I had a 5-star meal and a trip to the opera every day, it would cease to be such a meaningful and enjoyable treat. Also, I’d be the size of a house, those 5-star establishments do not skimp on the butter or foie gras. I’ll take that movie, but substitute a Chick-fil-a for the McD’s – their chicken & waffles fries are laced with crack, I tell you!

  19. Domino

    We need to keep an eye on how we’re represented in the media, whether directly (i.e. article about being CF) or indirectly (article in praise of having children, which needs to draw on its opposite – being CF). We are – and I believe always will be – a minority. We need to be heard. Some of that involves commenting on things we find insulting to us as a group. If it’s not okay to insult people because of their ethnicity, it’s not okay to insult them because they’re CF. If we ourselves don’t promote this and call attention to it, no one else will do it for us. It won’t do to stay quiet and hope that if we keep to our own world, we’ll just be left alone.

  20. Lurker

    If this was one of the “uncivilized” blogs which one of the comments here make me associate with, I am afraid people would be throwing stones a long time ago.

    When it comes to have children or not, I must admit i dont know if I would have managed such dramatic change in life. Even if they smell good and would help me to carry the groceries..the sleepless nights and the general extra burden would probably be too much. I will be 40 in a couple of years and cant see how I would be able to sacrifice the way a father needs to. At least not if a happy life is the main objective.

  21. CFOverseas

    Hi,

    I agree with Domino. Part of the reason we need to keep an eye on the media and misrepresentations is to avoid the inaccurate messages and misinformation. I am not sure if this is a good comparison, but by keeping an eye on the mainstream media and responding we get to help to change the status quo. So, 30 years ago a young person trying to make up their mind about whether they are gay or not and whether they should come out and live their lives as an openly gay person would not have received much positive and truthful information and messages about being gay (as a perfectly good, normal thing, etc.). Language was all pejorative, negative, words for gay people were used in a negative way (queer, etc.). But slowly the message has got across (in the mainstream western world, I am not talking about religious places, etc.) that being gay is just another way to be, like having red hair, or freckles, or stubby toes – it is just diversity and it all has its place in the mosaic of humanity. And now “queer” is positive word owned by that group, and taken out of the negative.

    In the same way. childfree has that positive connotation for us, away from the negative of “childless”, “spinster”, “barren”, etc., and it gives us a common community (with plenty of diversity within it, no two childfree people are exactly alike). If we are not careful, the message will be that “childfree” a positive word is now a negative one. Somewhat like how “feminist” was transformed from a positive strong word to a negative one (in some circles, not everywhere of course). So, misappropriation of the word “childfree” and misrepresenting our lifestyles and choices has to be monitored and rebutted to get our message across to all, especially to those who are “childfree” but don’t know enough to “come out” yet. Bias in the media about not having positive stories about the childfree needs to be nipped in the bud before it becomes the only voice out there. Of course there will always be dissent and debate, just like there is still negativity in the media about being gay, but it is no longer the dominant message – the dominant message about childfree cannot be allowed to be negative, and it is our duty to monitor it.

  22. Lee

    CFOverseas! Wow! Yay! Brilliant!

    I so agree with EVERYTHING that you communicated. So much strife is created in the world because of fear about “the other”. Haters try to disenfranchise by claiming that those (gays, feminists, child-free) who don’t subscribe to their belief system are somehow less than–less human, less kind, less moral, less generous etc. It’s the way all political parties and most religious groups operate and it’s about gaining and maintaining control. The focus is always on the ways we are different, not the ways we are alike. It’s called divide and conquer and it’s been used rather effectively for centuries.

    When I read the list that BG posted my response was, hmmm, I like to do or can do some of those same things that this mother likes or does, I just don’t do them with children–nor do I need to. In fact I could have made that list (again with few exceptions) and not even have mentioned my reproductive state. I have to admit I don’t really think much about taking out the garbage or folding the laundry. Getting someone else to do it for me isn’t really a big life perk in my book. ;)

    I think a list like that while maybe being somewhat flippant, also tries to portray people with children as all good, wholesome, salt-of-the-earth humanists. The truth is it’s basically a press-release. In fact, it reminds me of the latest Target stay-at-home mom commercials running in the NYC area. Those of us capable of critical thought (BG’s readers for instance) know that what you see is not always what you get. We know that not all parents are loving, caring, compassionate, cookie bakers and not all childfree are bar-hopping, self-absorbed, immature hedonists. But those are the images that are are pushed in the media and we need to stay on top of them and say, “Hey, wait a minute!” or “What about this?” If we want to break down the barriers, we need to be aware of what they are, who is creating them, who is buying into it and why. As you so brilliantly pointed out, that is what all of the movements have been about–civil rights, gay rights, women’s rights. I think whenever a minority has succeeded in breaking new ground they have always done so by being hyper-vigilant and over-communicating in the early stages of change until perceptions stabilize around a new accepted norm.

    I think as more and more media outlets have consolidated, the cultural message is propagated and owned by a handful of people who have the power to promote “norms” that reflect their idiosyncratic world view. Fox News in the U.S. is a prime example. When you represent the other voice or other voices you have to speak up more often and a little louder to be heard.

    Re: Like It Is, I am often astounded by how much BritGirl produces while working full-time and having a life. She’s not getting paid to provide us with a service and she doesn’t control how people respond to what she writes. We are all guests here. We’re not perfect, but I think most regulars try to be honest and supportive. If some come here and want more dialogue and discussion (it seems like there is always plenty to me–and BG modified board functionality to encourage it) then they need to help create it and respond when someone engages them. In my experience, you usually get what you give. If you don’t care for the vibe, no need to be rude–just move along now.

  23. december_clouds

    This woman seems to be using her child as an excuse to be childlike. I notice a lot of this in the UK. People are always telling me to have children so I can “be like a child again.” I didn’t like being a child in the first place.

    Anyway, why are:

    -You get to listen to children’s choirs several times a year.
    -Kids think that bugs and fossils are very cool.
    Kids are not self-conscious about dancing/ singing in public.

    Good reasons?

  24. Kawi

    Britgirl, thanks for this blog, I really appreciate coming here to read your posts and many others. You rock!

    As for the list, my view is that somewhere somebody possibly saw the reasons not to have children list and felt a need to generate one with reasons to have kids. That’s fine. I don’t have a problem with that. All I can comment is that from my standpoint, many of those reasons for me do not require offspring on my part :-) And others, well…still, no thanks.

  25. Miss Q

    “You get to listen to children’s choirs several times a year.”

    I thought this was supposed to be a list of reasons to HAVE kids?

    1. Josh

      LOL, I thought the same thing too. I hated that crap when I was forced to be in them as a kid. If I ever did have a kid, I’d be skipping those events.

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  27. Lee

    You’re welcome britgirl. As far as escaping cubicle nation, I hear ya sistah! I broke out a few years back which greatly enhanced my peace of mind.

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  29. Pers

    Wow…those 40 reasons the National Post gave are lame. Most are board games. I can play board games without a kid around – who knew?

  30. Patrick

    Only reason to have kids is because you want to. Before you have a child ,you have no bleeping idea what it is all about. It does seem like a miracle when you see that baby for the first time. Lot’s of work,and eventual realization that they are imprinted from their genes, and that how ever much you want them to learn from your experiences, they will in fact create their own. I love my kids, and accept the fact that I had hand in their making… But after that they really are their own people. If you choose not to … Have kids, a partner,eat peanut butter sandwiches, or whatever, you live with your choices. Loving another person is risky, and accepting the yoke of responsibility to become a parent is an incredibly risky endeavor. I don’t remember how I was able to exist as an individual, and do miss that independence. I have made the choice, and hope only that I provide my kids with enough guidance to be able to find happiness in their lives.

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