My thanks to a reader, (let’s call her “Sally”) who sent in this very interesting article and link. As the Sally says, it’s probably not unique to the childfree.
I’ve made few if any changes to it because it didn’t need any changes. So anyone who thinks it’s “whining” just look away now and don’t read on.
I also read the article at the link below. And what I will say is this:
I was brought up in an apartment. We were six kids. The walls were pretty thick. But my parents were ALWAYS mindful of the neighbours – and as such if we were rowdy we got a telling off and were told to stop being noisy. None of this “be tolerant cause children need to be children rubbish.” What the..? Neighbours have every right to peace and quiet and you, dear parent, are responsible for seeing your kids understand that and abide by it. Of course that means you must be willing to control, sorry parent them since kids go as far as they are allowed to go. If you can’t or won’t, move out and get a house. Apartments are not for everyone. They are for those who accept that everyone has the right to a peaceful abode.
I am thankful I live in a condo now where it looks like there are no kids. We’ve lived here for 5 years. If there are any kids they are very quiet as we never hear them. So everyone’s happy. I must add we do have strict noise controls in the condo rules. Everyone signs up to them and our property manager takes all complaints very seriously. I just don’t understand people who seem to think everything should be relegated to the whim of kids’ noise. Having kids is not the benchmark for “tolerance” and said “tolerance” is often a thinly-veiled order to “suck it up, buttercup – not our fault you’re childfree.”
Anyway, enough from me… for now. Read what Sally says and share your thoughts.
Sally’s story starts here:
“My husband and I live in a brownstone condo in NYC. With the exception of the nutters who moved in with their screaming child and then moved out within nine months, for six years we have enjoyed a blissfully quiet, childfree existence neighbor-wise.
That is until one month ago. A family with a toddler moved into the unit above us
and as God is my witness it sounds like a herd of buffalo up there. Their child seems to be possessed by the devil as he cannot walk, but only runs back and forth and back and forth on HARD WOOD FLOORS, dropping his little toys, which are
made of cement, as he goes.
This fun fest starts at 7 a.m. and continues to 8 p.m. when they put him to bed. I work from home and my quality of life has plummeted. I’m so stressed I can barely focus and I feel like I’m being held hostage by a three year old.
To make matters far worse, Ms. stay-at-home mom has her girlfriends over EVERY afternoon from 2 until 5 pm and they brings their kids who also run around, scream and drop things.
Yesterday there were FOUR strollers in the hallway. I honestly thought my head was going to explode
from the noise. I mean it’s not like there aren’t at least ten coffee shops within two blocks from our building, yet they must turn our building into a daycare center. GET A LIFE!!!
Because we are civilized human beings, last week we left them a VERY nice note introducing ourselves and explaining about the lack of soundproofing in pre-war buildings and how the running shakes our entire apartment. We asked if they would be kind enough to put down rugs and rug pads to absorb the shock on the hard wood floors. When we moved in our downstairs neighbor mentioned that she could hear our cat running up and down, so we put down thick pads and thick rugs in the main rooms, including the kitchen because we are not jackasses. And I can say with a great degree of confidence that a 10 lb. cat makes far less noise than a 3 year old human.
In our case we have been ignored by our neighbors and now we have to take on a battle royale. I’m sure that because it’s a child making the noise they think we should just suck it up–because that’s how kids are. Or they’ll label us child-haters or worse. To me, noise is noise and I don’t care who is making it–
but I certainly don’t think you should get a free pass because it’s a kid. I see this as just another example
of the entitled parent phenom. We actually pay more than they do to live here, but yet because they
have a poor harmless child, in their minds, their rights supersede ours. They moved into a quiet building with
an existing community of quiet owners and apparently we must accommodate them. So now we either move, which
means selling which could take months and taking a loss in a crappy market or we sue or we report them to the city. In any case, it will be a major stress fest on both sides and undoubtedly unpleasant all because they can’t put down carpet and tell little Johnny to walk instead of run. GRRRRR.
In my desperation to find a solution, I discovered this older article in the New York Times which
I thought you might find interesting and may be relevant to some of your readers. Because now all the young parents
want to maintain their edgy NYC persona they refuse to move out to the suburbs, even though it would
actually be better for their children because they would have space to run around. I don’t know what it is
like in Canada or London but as you can read in the article, children are becoming one of the most frequent cause of noise complaints in NYC. In a very noisy city, that is a pretty frightening development.
I particularly enjoyed (sarcasm) the comment by the mother in the article who said that being a parent makes you more sensitive and understanding. As childfree we hear that all the time, but I’ve never heard it applied in this context. I think my situation is a perfect example of how truly selfish people with children can be. Because really in what way is she sensitive if she doesn’t understand how she is disturbing her neighbors and that they have
rights too? I know that she means that another mother would understand that life isn’t always perfect and kids will be kids. But as is clear in the case outlined in the article, she is not being particularly sensitive or tolerant of her neighbors who chose to not have children and have different kinds of lives. Her sensitivity extends to her offspring. Oh, how very self-sacrificing!! In my mind that doesn’t really count.What would be self-sacrificing would be if she said, “Hmmm, because I have a child maybe I can’t live in a charming pre-war brownstone because of the type of architecture used to construct these buildings since my son runs around like a demented and evil Chuckie doll every day and I have no intention of controlling his behavior or actually parenting him.” Instead, I’ll make my neighbors sacrifice for a child that is not theirs! Awesome!!
Plus, I can GUARANTEE that if she had someone above her waking up her little darling from his nap with blasting hip-hop music her tolerance and sensitivity would undoubtedly be imperceptible to the offending party. I would also bet if she couldn’t earn a living because she couldn’t concentrate in her own home, she would probably feel remarkably less sensitive about noisy children.
While my comments and this article may be construed as “whining” by at least one of your readers, it was on my mind today 
and I wanted to share the story with you as yet another way those with children try to get over on the childfree.
Sorry for the rant and thank you so much for listening and for all that you do!”
Sally’s story ends here.
Thanks to “Sally” for both sharing – and writing this article. It must be a nightmare situation to be in.
Here’s the article link – I read the article: The noise children make is a growing source of complaints
And here’s the comment from the West Side Mother:
“I think you become a more sensitive person when you have a kid — you have to become more tolerant and understanding,” the Upper West Side mother said. “You kind of realize that life is not as tidy as you’d like it to be.”
My response to that? You don’t need to have a kid to be tolerant and understanding. And frankly I find it neither tolerant nor understanding if you expect other people to live with noise created by your offspring. My own parents never thought their kids had the right to disturb others just because we were kids.
What are your thoughts? As always feel free to share on the blog.
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Well, it’s happened the upteenth time: A load of kids being herded up and down the stairwell of our block of flats on what was a pleasant and quiet Sunday morning. Once again, peace was shattered. As I was near to our door at the time and the noise was on the landing, I angrily decided that I should have a word with the so-called adult accompanying the little shriekers. I politely got the attention of the bottle-blonde woman as she shepherded them through the door out onto the stairs, and asked if she realised how all the noise echoes through the building… Her response; it’s a birthday today. Well, there seems to be a birthday most days, and every time these little brats are never asked to keep the noise to a low level because there might be people in the flats who would not like it. I heard her complaining to someone else about my comment – presumably to another moomy. Why am I wrong to want some quiet? My life is full of noise, and any time I can get just to read and relax in some relative quiet is greatly valued. But no, I’m a bitch. I grew up constantly being disciplined; slaps with hands or rolled-up newspapers, stern voices, often volcanic tempers, emotional blackmail – all just to make sure I grew up having consideration for others. It seems that no discipline is taught nowadays. Maybe I should shout and scream up and down that woman’s stairs and use the excuse that it’s my birthday and I can behave any way I like, and see how she likes it….. God, I’m so hacked off!
Sorry Freddie, but you’re not a kid, so even if it was your birthday, it would be worthless. A kid is automatically the most important person in the room…all others’ needs and rights be damned. God I hate the mindset of parents…
I’m also part of a childfree couple and new tenants just moved in upstairs, including what I assume is a small person. We spend more time at home than most people because of our studies, so all day I hear the running back and forth and the screaming from the child(ren) and mother. It’s maddening. We will be moving in about a month so I likely won’t complain. For our next home, we will definitely be looking at units on the TOP floor.
I am dealing with the same issue. I live in an apartment and the landlord moved a family with three kids above me. They are so loud at times that the walls will shake and my pictures threaten to fall of the wall. I finally complained to the Landlord only to find out that her children are contributers in the “free for all”. Yesterday, the parents decided to leave the kids in the Landlords care as they went out. Leaving them in the Landlords care means, they will stay at home and invite all of their friends over while the Landlord stays in her own apartment. I was told by the landlord that she did not have time for these complaints and that I must be hearing things. I then get a knock on the door from the Mother of the children living upstairs to tell me “I understand this is your day off, but it is my kid’s day off too”. I was floored. I was raised that wild activities are not for inside and are only allowed outside IF it does not disturb others. (EX: football game etc). I also have a problem with the Landlord’s children runing up and down between the breeze ways or behind the apartments by the tenants windows (causing all dogs to bark) but do not Dare talk to her about it. So basically, I have 10 Months left on my lease and unless I want trouble from the “Parents Club”, I will have to bite my tongue and endure. I raised three kids on my own and I NEVER allowed them to be loud. It is disrespectful. Whatever happened to “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? What do you do when you cant even get the Landlord to help?
I can totally relate to you and sympathize with your situation. The laziness and thoughtlessness of the majority (like 90%) of the parents out there is infuriating and depressing. Inmates are running the asylum and if you point this out, you’re the one with the problem. Hang in there.
As a mother of 3 I am having the same problem, but all of you have to understand there is so much that a parent can do to control the noise. I have an infant that is learning to walk and happens to fall and now after 3 week at my new apt i have my neighbor complaining. Already on my 2nd notice by the 3rd I get evicted, for what because my son doesnt know how to walk yet…and to mention that we are barely even home, so the few hours we are she is compplaining, I do turn down the tv when is to loud dont even turn it on most of the day since I have my things to do aswell so is just my son, what is a mother to do, strap the kid to a stroller or high chair just beacuse we had the bad luck of living in an apt that is not equiped to be quiet, we do have extra carpeting aside from the one that is there, so all these complains are sometimes annoying and nerve wreking, they are a little exagerated and please dont act like no one here was never a child and never made some kind of noise…
My advice – don’t move to an apartment where your children could potentially cause problems for other people living in the building. This is possible by waiting until you can afford a home to have a child, living in family friendly buildings, renting newer or more sound-proof apartments, purchasing additional floor rugs or foam, or renting on the bottom floor.
I chose not to have children, for a reason. I should not have to endure the consequences of having children because other people chose to do so. I don’t smoke pot, have house parties, blast music at 4:00 am etc – and if that were my choice I certainly wouldn’t expect others to accept my lifestyle. Parents often fail to realize that children are JUST as distracting and it is unfair to label people who get frustred as “exagerating the problem”. We may have made noise as children, and I would hope that my parents took measures (as above) – but I do not have children and therefore should not have to live with the consequences of having one.
My advice: if you can’t understand that children will make noise, objects will fall and life will happen above you in an apartment, don’t live in one. Or pick an upstairs apartment yourself. Children are not banned from upstairs apartments, and although coming courtesy should be for the parents to prevent the child from acting wild, downstairs neighbors have to understand that there will be little excited footsteps running around, and the child might fall down sometimes.
I have a 17 month old. I take him outside to play often, he is not at the jumping off of furniture stage, but I do stop him from throwing toys and slamming his bottom on the ground. I will NOT stop him from playing. And I will not strap him down in a highchair so the neighbors don’t freak out.
Our downstairs neighbor is an older handicapped man. Our landlord even told us that he is a bitter man that makes complaints on every little problem he sees. He literally stands with a broom and waits for a noise so he can bang on our floor. God forbid a case of dr. Pepper falls over again.
I lived in the same apartments on the middle floor, hated the occasional noise our upstairs neighbors made. So I moved to a higher one so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. If you can’t handle apartment living, even when the neighbors are considerate, get out.
Jenna — nobody wants your stupid kid running non-stop for hours. Find a building that is full of families. Don’t just move into one full of quiet tenants. You are a problem tenant and it is only going to get worse.
I have a tenant who moved in with their daughter who has a two year old that runs in the hallway constantly. and it is very annoying. I agree with your reply
I recently moved out of an apartment because of things like this. One of my neighbors had a 5 year old son. Every afternoon and on some weekends, a grandmother-type friend/relative would babysit. Her idea of babysitting was to drag a chair into the breezeway and watch the little hellion run and scream up and down the hall where it echoed to no end. There was a lawn at the end of the hall. If she would have had the kid play there (all she would have had to do was turn her chair 90 degrees), it wouldn’t have echoed and wouldn’t have been an issue. The child also yelled and chased my dog whenever he saw her even though I had asked him and his mother repeatedly to knock it off.
Most days I ignored it. On day I was home with a migraine and couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled out a copy of the lease that said the breezeways were for entering and exiting the apartments only and asked the courtesy officer to remove them. That launched WW3 in our hallway. I won the battle (can’t argue with the lease) but ended up leaving because the situation just became so unpleasant. I now live in a much better place where the apartment doors are set facing away from each other and people don’t gather in the hallway to hang out.
Well, I for one have a child and live in a condo. Yes, she makes noise. More so when she was younger. She did have tantrums. She did get earaches. It DID happen. However, she slept through the night from a very young age (I was lucky, not forceful). Therefore, my neighbors had silence from 8pm till morning. Now, I have a new neighbor- a lovely (sarcastic) leftover hippy from teh 60’s who likes to get her “folk trio” together at all hours of the night to play music…LOUD music. I have asked her kindly to please keep it to reasonable hours. However, she works nights and wants to play in the middle of the night. She hammers pictures up at 3am. I have had to keep my daughter home from school due to lack of sleep. She doesn’t care. So what do I do?? We are relatively quiet and I am always respectful to her and when my daughter and friends are running around, I stop them. Now I think I will not. Let her have a slumber party with jumpropes! Advice? What would all of you childless folks suggest??
As hard as it sounds, a tooth for a tooth doesn’t work well in situations like those. Those people are wrong and rude, and will just do more outrageous things to piss you off. A tooth for a tooth doesn’t work because the other party here is most likely stupid and got problems. Sinking to their level will just make it worse.
Look at your lease contract and see if you can fight from there. Call your landlord or better, call THEIR landlord. Also if they do that again at 3am, knock on their door loudly and nonstop until they change that behavior (but don’t get your hopes up). I’ve been through this and I know exactly how bad you feel.
If everything fails, look for a new apartment! On the day you move out, release a bag of bugs from the petshop into the crack of their doors! Of course I’m just joking, well…maybe half-joking. People like that really get on my nerves!
Best wishes
Most cities have noise ordinances — loud noises are not allowed in mine, for example, from 10 p.m. through 7 a.m. First I would contact my landlord to complain — many will have a form letter they will send to such tenants educating them or reminding them of the city ordinance. If it continues, call the police.
In general, children and pregnancy are seen as acceptable excuses for otherwise offensive behavior. There is no excuse for disturbing the peace of your neighbors, whether in a mansion or an apartment. My parents had a large surrounding yard when we grew up but we were not allowed to be loud everywhere, leave the yard a mess with toys, and we were taught where it was OK to make noise and where we had to be quiet. I now live in a condo on a top floor and I am very careful not to turn up music or TV up too loud, or let nieces and nephews run or scream when they are here. Thankfully, they are very well behaved but that is because they were taught to be that way.
I’ve seen too many examples of terrible behavior being justified by pregnancy and parenthood. Noise, unreliability at work, creating messes in public areas, expectation of accommodations that are beyond reasonable. It’s not that non parents don’t commit the same offenses, but there is no free pass for them. If you have an adult party and the music is too loud, the neighbors can all the police and the caller is not an intolerant human hater. If you bail out at the last minute at work with the flu frequently you are lazy and subject to disciplinary action, if you are out with morning sickness or take repeated maternity leaves, you are a trouper and protected by law. If a drunk vomits at a bar or in your car, they are a boor, if a pregnant woman vomits all over the inside of your car or on the floor at a restaurant, don’t you dare be irritated that she didn’t offer to clean up or gasp, be prepared by carrying barf bags as many chemo patients do, the poor mother is suffering for the sake of preserving the human race. If I prosletyze at work, it is prohibited by company policy (as it should be), but if a parent brings girl scout cookies in and you don’t buy a case you are a mean, cold, bitter person who hates the world even if you spend the money that didn’t go to the cookies on a donation to a charity that works towards saving the environment or homeless people.
I don’t mind making certain accommodations for parents and their kids, but I’d like the standard to be set where both parents and childfree folks have to be considerate. I don’t mind working longer hours as long if I am paid more and recognized for doing more work(don’t start that argument about how moms are super efficient and do twice as much work in half the time, there is no scientific evidence for that one, and it is flat out a joke if you look at jobs like surgeon, or any job that requires physical presence or extended intervals of intense focus). Childfree workers would not be as resentful of parent workers if company policies were people friendly, not family only friendly. Give everyone x days of leave, not only parents. Give everyone whatever flexibility is available, not only parents. Have benefits that both parents and non parents can use. And for healthcare benefits, pay 100% of your employees dental or medical insurance, not 50% for employee and children. I wouldn’t mind letting families board the plane first if parents would keep their kids from kicking my chair and running up and down the aisles or cancel their trip if the kid is sick and contagious. I would be happy to celebrate a friend having a baby if they got excited when I get the job of my dreams. I might not ever want to be around the baby ha ha but I could appreciate that it was important to my friend. It is unfortunately rare, at least in my experience, for that type of reciprocity to happen. In fact, there are only a handful of parents I know who are like this.
Great comment SS – I thought it would make a great post – so I’ve made it into one. I thought it really should be a post in its own right.
Wow that’s exactly what’s happening to me right there.
I left them a note, they didn’t care, they said it was a kid so I had to suck it up.
I told my landlord and he keeps on saying he will tell them but never does.
And to make things worst my roommate says he doesn’t care.
I’m definitely going to have to move.
Look into a rent abatement… these are legal clauses that can be used when the “quiet enjoyment” clause in your lease is being violated. It’s the only thing that renters have to protect themselves from noisy children.
I bet if they are threatened with having to pay several hundred dollars additional per month – the noise will come to a quick end.
I got three kids. I live in NYC and plan to continue to live there. You too have an option of moving out to the suburbs, just like I do. I will certainly put up the pads on the floors, but frankly I don’t think they will help much since kids will run around. I don’t think there are laws preventing kids living in the apartment and I can’t make them fly. When I was complaining about the hip hop music all night, the city did nothing. I am concerned about your peace and I will certainly not play any loud music ever. And you are guaranteed peace when they go to bed. Until then – well, you will have to suck it up!
Ham, you just can’t tell people who pay their rent to suck it up. If you’re constantly disturbing the neighbors with your loud kids, then you are a problem tenant.
If it’s a building full of families and kids, that’s one thing. But, what if I’m living below you and have to stay home sick? Don’t I have the right to some peace, too. Some buildings just aren’t right for kids.
Let me move above you and run back and forth non-stop for hours and see how you like. Stop being a one – sided parent.
There are also clauses that can be used in a rental agreement known as a “rent abatement.” Basically, it would allow the tenant to have the noisy family cover a portion on the rent. I suggest trying that and charging them $250 per month. Legally, it is possible… check into it.
I have been dealing with the noise of children for 2 years now. When our upstairs neighbour moved in, they have a 9 year old child. She make alot of noise, but I passed it over as she excited she has a new house, She’ll calm down soon. Boy I was wrong. She has her friends over all the time. They run and jump and scream and making tons of noise. Once I had to go upstairs and ask the mother to ask them to keep it down becuase they were jumping up and down on the floor above my head. “Oh they are just playing a dance game in the wii” But they stopped thank god. But I never got sorry, or anything, for all the noise they made.
Now they have a toddler who is learning how to walk. She wears her little toodler shoes in the house. I dont mind, a baby needs to learn things. What bothers me is when at 7am when she gets up they let her run through the whole apartment including the room which is right above mine. Even if they closed off that room untill later in the morning so they arent waking us up.
The oldest has her toys scattered all over the backyard. I wouldnt be able to walk to get something from the shed without tripping up in something, and she hasnt played in the yard since the summer, so all that junk is sitting in the yard untouched for 2 months.
We would like to complain to our landlord. but here in the provinces tennants aggreement it states that noise from children is not a reason for a unpeaceful living arragement.
I would love too move. But we cant afford it, we pay good rent here. We dont want to cause awkwardness between all of us, they are really nice people. But to them their children are spoiled and can do no wrong.
Yes I know kids make noise. But people with children need to have some respect for the people who live below them. I respect they have children and with we have people in we make sure it is not loud after 11pm, Which is the law here. But it needs to go both ways. We respect them, but they dont respect us it seems.
One way you might address the toy issue is to bring up the potential liability to the landlord. If a tenant or guest trips and is injured by those toys, they could sue the landlord for having unsafe conditions.
As for the noise, depending on the city/apartment rules, and proximity of other neighbors, could you sacrifice a few weekend mornings and play loud music or vacuum at 6am in the room under their bedroom? It sounds like you have tried to address the problem in reasonable and polite ways and they have ignored your rights.
Found this article while doing a search about noisy neighbors. I am in situation involving two couples with kids who live above me in a three-story condo building. I have owned and lived in my place (on the second floor) for four years with really no problems related to the upstairs units, until they moved in. I am not a “child-hater” and I agree that some level of sound is to be expected, but there is a point when it becomes excessive. Now on a fairly regular basis I have to listen to stomping and running and jumping up and down and wrestling, in addition to screaming/yelling in the stairwells and hallways. I use high velocity fans and wear headphones to drown out some of it, but you can still feel the vibrations. The parents see absolutely nothing wrong with this because apparently they have convinced themselves they are the only ones who live here. Some people are just ignorant and you can’t change it. If you say anything (which I tried), you are the one who has the problem, so you have to find ways to adjust your life while they continue being the way they are. There was a time when landlords could be a little more selective with who they allowed in their units, but with the housing market the way it is now and many people being underwater with their mortgages, the sad truth is that a noisy tenant who pays rent is better than no tenant and no rent. If you own in a place that is dominated by renters, you are literally trapped with them and their lifestyles.
I am sad to say that I am now in this club. My boyfriend and I live in an apartment with people who just don’t care that we live beneath them. They have a 2yr. old girl who also likes to run back and forth and drop things that sound like cement. We have complained and they promised to try to keep her queit but it last for about three days and the noise is back driving us crazy. They also like to invite other people over and let their kids over to run to and when we tried banging on the ceiling to let them know they were being too loud they simple stomped back. We then went and talked to them and they told us they are tired of us banging on the ceiling (we only did it twice in 1 month and a half) and told us its their play time. I am really tired and can’t believe that people believe that others are just suppose to suck it up cause they have kids. I pay rent too and I really don’t think if things were different, they would care why I’m loud on their heads. I know that we could have chossen the upstairs apartment but we chose the downstairs one because we work out and it might have been too noisey for an upstairs apartment. It’s called being considerate. If we can do it, they can do it!
There is a implied clause in all lease called “quiet and enjoyment” which the landlord is suppose to up whole and is enforcement in court. My landlord was forced to evict two different tenants because I my lease was being breached. You don’t have to put up with it!!!
On one hand it’s somewhat comforting to know that there are others like me, as evidenced by this topic, that think loud kids don’t have a place in older condos with poor sound insulation. On the other hand, it’s sad to see so many people with the opposite point of view, that of an entitled parent who thinks their kid has free reign just because ‘they are a kid’. Glad I stumbled on this website, since I’m now sucking up a similar situation.
My wife and I found a nice condo on the lake, and we had a couple viewings (unfortunately in the morning/early afternoon. My advice: make sure before you commit to a new place that you spend some time in the unit in the early evening, say 6-8pm. You’ll definitely learn about your neighbor’s habits this way. Lesson learned). First night I go around to the neighbors to introduce myself and offer the typical “If we’re ever too loud in here please come by and let us know”. My heart dropped when the guy upstairs answered the door with what appeared to be a 1 year old human in his arms. Since then, every night from 6-9pm I hear madness above me. Running footsteps that sound like a grown adult, hard things getting dropped on the floor, and tons of furniture being dragged around. Its awful, and when I get home from work I just want a quiet evening in the condo I am paying for. I haven’t said anything yet, because I don’t know how to bring the topic up. Realistically I know the response will be “we can try to keep it down, but a kid is a kid afterall” so I don’t even want to waste my time.
If I had known there was a family of 3 in above the unit, I would never have taken it. I would have looked for another one, and no lake view is worth dealing with the sound of a kid running, crying, throwing/dropping things, etc. Personally I think a landlord or HOA should notify potential tenants that there are small kids in adjacent units as a courtesy and in order to avoid future complications and complaints. Unfortunately people just want to rent out their place and will avoid disclosing the unpleasant information.
Sometimes I feel like I am too responsible and too considerate regarding others. I wish I had the ability to forget that there are people living all around me, and live my life doing what I want. My wife and I want a dog badly, but we wouldn’t think about getting one while living in a condo or apartment because it is unfair to both the animal and the neighbors. So how is a kid any different? Because it’s human? Unfortunately between the ages of 0-8 years a kid is not much more advanced than a dog, and yet people seem to ignore that fact because they decided to have a kid in a condo/apartment.
At this point I have no idea what I’m going to do and my only solution thus far has been to simply stay out of my OWN unit from 8am to 10pm. How ridiculous is that? Being forced out of your place by someone who thought they needed to reproduce before buying a house. Ridiculous.
I agree that we are not required to be tolerant of another’s obnoxious offspring because they choose not to teach their offspring to be mindful that there are others around them. We can actually hear a six and eigtht year old below us run around and wrestle. They are making our floor vibrate, shake and jerk. When we try to go to management, they claim it is not possible for us to hear them when they are below us. It was also suggested that we were not tolerant of children. We are not required to be tolerant of ignorance. It is constant bang, slam, pound, stomp, stomp, run, run, and when we try to fight back they cannot take it. They can dish it out but not take it. We’ve tried calling the cops, reporting it to management and so forth. My husband’s health has taken a turn for the worst; plus he has M.D. so the shaking of the floor, if he is in the process of walking, (he can still walk; his balance is limited), has caused him to fall quite a few times. We are in the process of starting a paper trail and trying to get out of our lease right now. This is no way to live. Our lease guaranteed us a peaceful dwelling; but management refuses to help us in any way. Grrrr….
Also, when I was growing up, if we got too wild and out of hand, we were made to calm down and settle down. If I slammed a door I was made to come back and open and close it at least ten times without slamming it. Being a kid does not mean they should be allowed to do whatever they please. The parents are not doing these kids any favors. What is going to happen when they get out in the real world where there are rules they have to follow; but they were never taught? The parents that do nothing to get their kids to settle down are selfish and just do not wish to take the time.
am tempted to print this article and comments and put in upstairs neighbors mailbox. Since they moved above me 4 yr.s ago and had a boy 3 yr.s ago things have been pure hell and getting worse: she is pregnant and expecting any month now AND they don’t plan on moving. I’ve been unemployed for 4 yrs. and could not move if I wanted to, my landlady knows i can pay her from my savings for now but a total stranger would never rent to a long term jobless person like me (my credit report is shot too most like) and i am not sure I won’t end up homeless so in addit to dealing with all my personal stress I am woken any time from 6 am by the kid running and jumping right above me in his living room but for some reason his favorite spot is on my bedroom end rather than over my bathroom or kitchen, he is shouting and screaming, this continues till he leaves for daycare around 830 and resumes once he gets back home between 4-5 and on w/e it’s an all day free for all, I am dead tired and cannot fall back asleep once he leaves as my nerves are too shot, being noise sensitive to begin with. I believe he has ADHD, it seems he cannot sit still EVER and he never plays up in his room which is on the 3rd fl. (I live on the ground level they have 2 stories)so i’d not hear him. Now that he’s talking he is talking loudly and because he shouts his parents have taken to shouting as well, i can actually hear snippets of conversation w/o trying to. The kid goes to bed some time around 8 but then its the parents turn to stomp around till 1am or later. They put hardwood floors in 2 yrs. ago, that was really fun, I had to leave the condo during the day, pounding for hours for weeks on end, i wondered if each wooden panel was hand malleted with 3 dz. nails each or what. They didnt put any carpeting on so now the kid rides his tricycle or bigwheel up there too. I also think he bowls and plays basketball in addit. to his favorite activity: jumping up and down the furniture. He is not a large boy at least not yet but there is a constant boom, boom noise, i literally picture him running up to the couch, jumping on it and then jumping to the floor over and over again. Shortly after he was born I left them a note because they used to put some childrens songs/music/cartoon on when they got up and I normally sleep until 8-830 and I had explained how my bedroom was under their speakers apparently so other than not blasting Barney with ” i love you, you love me” kiddie songs at 7am it’s a regular noisefest “a herd of elephants” as said elsewhere. This very moment they are engaged in bowling, that is what is sounds like, I cannot imagine what else it would be. on w/e and eve. the parents engage in moving around the furniture for their squaredance group (that is exactly what is sounds like, furniture being dragged and dropped and then thump, thump thump of people wearing hard soled shoes). He screams and screetches NOW and the baby isnt even born yet, i expect things to get much, much worse once it is. The parents NEVER raise their voices to him, they let him scream and cry and run and jump, God forbid they think of sending him to his room, he’s almost 4 so i imagine old enough to be alone untill he can calm down. Unfortunately i do not overexagerate. The noise is a DAILY relentless occurance, he is NEVER quiet unless he’s NOT home. Oh and my next door neigbhor has started snoring and his bed/bedroom is on the other side of my bedroom wall. I pray i get a job just so i can move into a small house/cottage/shack or cabin, with no neighbors/rd. within 25 ft. otherwise i am screwed. My other problems are the next door neighbors b/r a/c 6 ft. from my bedroom window on May-Oct. all nite, noisy like a huge idling truck AND the dog walkers who stand outside my unit in my yard area at 7am or earlier and shout at their dog. Living in a house beats apartment living by leaps and bounds, esp. for us noise sensitive folks who like our privacy and dont’ want to feel like we are living in the same rooms WITH the neighbors. It’s like everytime either neighbor has a party, I am there too even tho I’m NOT, the last time it was the kids birthday and they were all singing i culd barely restrain myself from singing happy b-day too but i suspect sound doesnt travel as much upwards or they’d be a bit more considerate. Now what to do bout the snoring neighbor?
I have noisy neighbors in my duplex and i can hear their children running and jumping all day long. i’m a student and i need some peace and quiet which i enjoyed before they moved in. now its a free for all for their kids. i’ve complained to the landlord and to their faces. the first time i knocked on the door, this sweet little lady answered and her child bolted out of the door, right past me and began monkeyingaround on the banister of the stairs. i calmly stressed my qualms about her kids. she said she could do whatever she can but makes no promises. we have a park literally across the street and i have yet to see (or hear) the kids over there. there are plenty of other neighborhood kids to play with but they refuse to let their children outside. i heard the repercussions of what she did to the little boy who bolted past me, as he was crying nonstop for an hour after she closed the door.
this is my main complaint. i don’t care that the kids are loud, they are kids. but we have a park for a reason and its absurd that this “parent” won’t take her children to the park to play. there is a big open field, a playground, and a basketball court for everyone to use, yet this lady refuses to let her children play on it. these kids are lacking the needed stimualtion of the outside world that they so desperately crave. i see why my generation is so apathetic now. because our parents are/were just like these parents. they don’t give a shit.
the only solution i’ve come up with is to better the situation and my wife and i are moving into a rental home with 2 of our friends. if i’m 45 years old with living in a duplex with two obnoxious kids and my neighbors have had enough of me and my miserable life because i refuse to take my children outside, please, shoot me in the head.
I posted in november as crying and i am happy to say that our landlady let us move to another apartment. This did not happen without a lot of complaining. The lease had some clause in it that after 6 months we could move to another apartment and continue on the same lease. It is better, we are now the upstairs tenants and currently there are no children around us, thank goodness! Good luck to all of you maybe you have something like this in your lease. After 6 months we are still moving hopefully to a single floor flat with no one above or below us.
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