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by Britgirl on July reputable payday loan 18, 2011

These days very few people come out directly to pressure me into having kids. Wouldn’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa make any difference if they did – it would be a waste of time. I’ve done quite a bit to remove consolidating bills home myself from many images of kiddies and parenting, limiting any avenues consolidating bills home for suggestions. I don’t watch t.v. and I don’t (as several reputable payday loan disgruntled parents seem to like doing) go visiting parenting and mommy reputable payday loan blogs.

One of the best childfree decisions I made was to live downtown. Not only is there so much else to do, most of the people 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 downtown are single – or in relationships with no kids.  It doesn’t not paying payday loans mean there are no kids at all, but certainly no daily reminders. A huge help.

However not everyone is quite as fortunate in being left alone bad debt loans south africa to get on with their lives as childfree people.  A look at the number of bingoes they get is simply 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 one aspect of this.  Sometimes the pressure to have kids comes from family members payday loans that accept prepaid visa, sometimes it can be from friends, sometimes work colleagues, often it’s a more subtle 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 pressure from society or other external sourced.  Since we see very few positive bad debt loans south africa images of childfree people (although this is changing) everywhere to balance reputable payday loan the overly pro-natalistic pressure from society, it’s easy to believe not paying payday loans there aren’t many childfree people about – but there bad debt loans south africa are plenty.

So what’s your view? Do you feel pressure to have children? If so, where does it come from and how do you deal with it? If not have you any tips and words for other payday loans that accept prepaid visa readers?

Feel free to share your thoughts.

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{ 67 comments }

Mia July 18, 2011 at 4:22 am

After a while friends and family surrender, or at least not paying payday loans they stop talking to you about babies. I really don’t bad debt loans south africa feel any pressure know, but for sure that when i get home for holidays people will start questioning me. It seems payday loans that accept prepaid visa that the holiday season is the perfect time to talk about babies.

deegee July 18, 2011 at 8:11 am

Never got any pressure to have kids. Being single and male and 48 (now) helps. Having reputable payday loan a family which respects the personal decisions of others also helps 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6. My brother, 5 years younger than me, got married when he was 24 and did not have his first reputable payday loan and only kid until 12 years later. I do not know if he and his wife got any pressure from his in-laws, though. Either reputable payday loan way, he may have protected me from any pressure but it is not anything either of us would ever mention, as we are not very close consolidating bills home. Our mother passed away 15 years ago, not that she was the type to bingo, of course.

I’d rather they envy me for being retired for the last 3 years! :)

Dana July 18, 2011 at 12:04 pm

Right now all my friends are having babies. Some are cool about it, and some think it’s bad debt loans south africa downright ridiculous that i don’t have baby fever. Instead bad debt loans south africa of just smiling at their annoying comments, I’ve reputable payday loan taken to giving sassy responses and telling them flat out that I don’t bad debt loans south africa want to hear their comments, teasing or overall inappropriateness toward bad debt loans south africa my decision. Sometimes they get mad. I don’t care anymore. I’m bad debt loans south africa not telling them that they shouldn’t be pregnant because they’ll payday loans that accept prepaid visa miss their freedom. I’m not telling them that their bad debt loans south africa choices are stupid. They need to do the same for me.

Samantha August 10, 2011 at 10:45 am

Wow! I wish I had your backbone! My family’s trying to marry me off in the hopes that I’ll bad debt loans south africa soon after start having kids. Never mind that my sister already bad debt loans south africa has one (she wants another niece..?), my 2 brothers have four between them, and there not paying payday loans are three other little ones from a cousin. Nope, nor does it matter what’s bad debt loans south africa best for me. I think I’ll take your approach and nip it in the bud.

Valerie July 18, 2011 at 1:08 pm

I feel pressure from friends and family, especially when doing any activity cash til pay day that seems maternal or domestic. It makes me not want to post about consolidating bills home my culinary triumphs, or post photos of me with friends’ babies, because reputable payday loan I’m so tired of hearing “Oh, you look so good with a baby!” consolidating bills home As DH and I have been more open about our desire to be child-free, it has gotten better 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6, though.

Tabatha July 18, 2011 at 2:06 pm

I used to get pressure from my mom even when I had no boyfriend, she wanted grandkids so bad that she said she’d raise reputable payday loan it herself. but when she found out about my Essure she said she didn’t 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 care she had accepted it years ago? I was confused, she said she just liked to tease me. bullcrap bad debt loans south africa, she used to try and make me feel so guilty she doesn’t have any grandkids yet. I’ve got two younger reputable payday loan brothers though she’s got plenty of time for grandkids. my dad doesn’t know, I expect cash til pay day some pressure from him if i get into another relationship before he finds payday loans that accept prepaid visa out I don’t want kids. he was pressuring me and my ex a little to get married, that’s where most of the pressure reputable payday loan came from before, b/c my family is pretty religious and my dad didn’t 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 want us having babies out of wedlock, he didn’t know I had no intention of having bad debt loans south africa babies at all. being single helps to get the pressure bad debt loans south africa off. although now that I’ve found all these Childfree payday loans that accept prepaid visa blogs and groups online I’m ready if the pressure not paying payday loans starts up again. Before I just got used to people telling me I’d change bad debt loans south africa my mind, now I’ve got my Essure bomb I can drop and see the look of shock and horror on their faces bad debt loans south africa, I’m looking forward to it.

Rose July 18, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I avoid this kind of pressure largely by avoiding the people who would reputable payday loan pressure me, and situations where this kind of pressure comes up. I almost reputable payday loan never go to kids’ parties, baby showers, kiddy-themed events payday loans that accept prepaid visa, etc., and visit with my own family and in-laws on neutral ground, like a restaurant cash til pay day or a hotel. (This also helps me keep some of the indefatiguable political not paying payday loans windbags and religious zealots among them in check not paying payday loans as well.)

If some poor sod is unable to refrain from editorializing on the subject bad debt loans south africa of my reproductive status even after it’s made about 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 1000% clear that I’m not having children, that person payday loans that accept prepaid visa might as well be shoving me out the door, never to return. Too bad some people simply not paying payday loans can’t keep their fool mouths shut on the subject, because bad debt loans south africa the end result of their efforts is that I still don’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa have a baby and never will, and now the pregnancy-pusher and I no longer have a friendly relationship reputable payday loan. Nobody’s going to change my mind (or undo my snip, or grow back my cauterized endometrium) and I don’t reputable payday loan feel obligated to sit there and let anyone browbeat me on the subject.

Irish July 18, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Here’s the thing: I like children. But for about an hour. And then I think: consolidating bills home that’s me done. And I am so ready to go home and eat dinner with my partner/read a book/watch tv/play with my dog/sleep/make consolidating bills home chutney (ok, sounds random, I see that). But I simply don’t reputable payday loan want my 24/7 to be children children children. I see it from the outside and it’s not for me.

Yet because I’m 39 people friends now have children bad debt loans south africa and relationships shift because they can’t seem to sustain the ability to talk about not paying payday loans non-child issues (work, food, whatever) – and the most irritating 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 bit is when I’m in the middle of some profundity (8>) they break reputable payday loan off and say “look, look, he/she’s looking at you!”. So, for me it’s 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 not so much the pressure to have children or defend that – that’s a given, now, I suspect reputable payday loan – but the pressure to mould my worklife, conversation and soing payday loans that accept prepaid visa around people with kiddies. It’s not talking about 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 work because they’re on maternity leave. Not going for a glass payday loans that accept prepaid visa of wine at a weekend lunch because we are in a kiddies’ play spot eating coffee reputable payday loan and cake (endless bloody coffee and cake!!). Not being able to arrange a date in advance bad debt loans south africa. Not giving a damn about my life because – suddenly – payday loans that accept prepaid visa with children they are more important, fulfilled, contributing, socially acceptable cash til pay day. Sorry about the rant. But that’s the pressure from my end.

ralgal0707 July 18, 2011 at 4:16 pm

Thankfully my parents are (quietly) supportive and my friends payday loans that accept prepaid visa who know I hate kids are wise enough to not give me any grief about it. The biggest pressure honestly bad debt loans south africa comes from men in the dating world….maybe not directly not paying payday loans, but by refusals to go out with me when they see that my profile says “No” for “Wants Kids?” or who have stopped seeing reputable payday loan me for no other reason than I am CF. The pressure to have kids is great when faced with the prospect 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 of not ever having a partner because of my CF status. I have never liked or wanted 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 kids and I know I will never change my mind…at 35, it’s almost a moot point reputable payday loan anyway…but, that doesn’t mean I am not pressured by men in my dating age range who have finally not paying payday loans decided to settle down and want a family.

lisa July 20, 2011 at 8:22 pm

“The pressure to have kids is great when faced with the prospect reputable payday loan of not ever having a partner because of my CF status. ”

Someone made an excellent point on this blog some time ago – in essence reputable payday loan they pointed out that you’re not choosing between life without not paying payday loans awesome partner or life with awesome partner and kids – reputable payday loan your partner won’t be the same person anymore once you have kids. And YOU won’t be the same person bad debt loans south africa anymore.

I’m just about to hit 30 and I’ve noticed a lot of my friends and starting to get frantic bad debt loans south africa about meeting someone “in time” to have kids. What worries me more is that I’ll bad debt loans south africa finally meet someone who’ll be divorced after bad debt loans south africa having kids ruined his marriage, and I’ll have to decide consolidating bills home whether I can handle having kids around every other not paying payday loans weekend and the emotional baggage that comes with divorce bad debt loans south africa. So many men cave in – I want to meet someone “in time” for him to NOT have kids!

I actually think being childfree gives bad debt loans south africa us great freedom in our relationships. To so many people a successful relationship means payday loans that accept prepaid visa it starts early and lasts forever. But if you get together early only for fear of infertility bad debt loans south africa, and stay together only for the kids in spite of being miserable, is THAT a successful relationship 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6?

As for us – we have the next 50 years to meet the “right guy” reputable payday loan – or to enjoy relationships with ten different “right for now” bad debt loans south africa guys. If there are no kids you can have a romantic relationship for a time, then if/when you decide to, you can make a fairly reputable payday loan hassle free transition to friendship. If you both feel that you gained something 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 positive from the experience then it’s still a successful relationship not paying payday loans! Love does not have to happen by age 35, or last until age 90 to be meaningful and rewarding.

To the original question – my parents put me under payday loans that accept prepaid visa the most pressure. Not a lot, but I know they worry about me not having kids and mum once said that she thinks not paying payday loans it means she is a bad mother who complained too much when we were kids! She is a wonderful mother not paying payday loans – the best – and the only thing she has ever done that falls into the category bad debt loans south africa of “bad mother” is make that stupid, hurtful comment!

lisa July 20, 2011 at 8:29 pm

Oops – I said “my friends and starting payday loans that accept prepaid visa to get frantic” – but I meant “my friends ARE starting to get frantic”

payday loans that accept prepaid visa

Britgirl July 19, 2011 at 12:30 am

Some great and enlightening comments. Thank reputable payday loan you and Please keep them coming!

Rick July 19, 2011 at 3:59 am

I’m pretty much in the same boat as ralgal0707. My family doesn’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa pressure me anymore to have kids. The biggest pressure comes not paying payday loans from the dating world. I want to say I wish women would understand that I mean it when I say I don’t 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 want kids. They probably think I’m a fence sitter and that I might change 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 my mind. In all fairness I’m doing the same thing. Most people consolidating bills home that don’t have kids are fence sitters, I’m just hoping bad debt loans south africa she’ll fall on my side of the fence. So I try not to be too bitter. I have yet to come up with an effective way of dealing with it that doesn’t reputable payday loan involve alcohol.

Dating and being CF can be a nightmare. Inherently the number of single, available reputable payday loan CF people is smaller than the number of people who are simply 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 single and available. The fact that I want to find a person that compliments me emotionally and ideologically AND doesn’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa want kids can make the pickings very slim indeed.

hey July 20, 2011 at 11:18 am

YOu and ralgal should hook up :)

Melissa A. July 19, 2011 at 5:14 pm

I don’t get pressure from my family or my friends really. If I did I would bad debt loans south africa shut them down very quickly. I spend most of my time at home so I don’t have to deal with other random people telling reputable payday loan me when I’ll have kids, such as co-workers. I’m sure when I re-entre the world of work I’ll have to deal with it again reputable payday loan though.

lisbet July 19, 2011 at 8:48 pm

You know, my mother is the only one of her two siblings to have had kids, and my father has a childfree payday loans that accept prepaid visa brother as well. It never occurred to me that it was an obligation to have kids, or to get married (although reputable payday loan I succumbed to that one). I’m in Tokyo, where the low birth rate means reputable payday loan there’s even pressure from the government for people to reproduce payday loans that accept prepaid visa. But I see kids and the innumerable accessories and specialized schools that seem to go along with them here, and I immediately bad debt loans south africa think of better things I could buy with my money. Like cappuccinos. ;) Or even underpants.

nerd July 19, 2011 at 9:44 pm

I used to get pressure from my family, just little comments about when theyd meet grandkids 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 etc, but they know my views now and dont bother. My mother in law however used to lay on so much pressure, always bad debt loans south africa telling us we should grow up, stop being selfish and breed, dammit not paying payday loans! Always going on. Even when my partner got his vasectomy she kept saying she had read how it could be reversed bad debt loans south africa, and what about sperm donors. I think she may have finally accepted reputable payday loan it…however it could also be because my brother in law has recently got into a serious relationship bad debt loans south africa and while he was always an on-the-fencer, all his new girlfriend seems to talk about consolidating bills home is babies. How she loves them, can’t wait to have them, wants at least 4 and on and on. So that might bad debt loans south africa be the reason we are getting less stick now!
Friends…some just don’t not paying payday loans get it at all. Making comments if I actually hold another friends bad debt loans south africa baby or something like “oh, I thought you hated babies” consolidating bills home, that kind of thing. And even ones that do seem to understand, when they have their own kids, suddenly start presuuring reputable payday loan again. A friend who gave birth last week is constantly updating facebook and she sounds not paying payday loans almost scizophrenic – her posts alternate between reputable payday loan “oh my god thi is awful I am so tired, puke, poo, crakced nipples consolidating bills home etc” and “oh this is wonderful, you all must do this now, everyone go get preggers” (ok, slight not paying payday loans paraphrasing but you get the idea)
I also think there is a lot of presure societally reputable payday loan. I have noticed how the press will constantly refer to a woman payday loans that accept prepaid visa by how many kids she has (actress x, star of yy, and mother of 4, or singer z, a mother of baby wibble bad debt loans south africa etc), and the references in the media to childfree women as selfish, immature reputable payday loan, or career bitches mean there is pressure all round reputable payday loan. In my opinion anyway.

Samantha August 10, 2011 at 10:53 am

“I have noticed how the press will constantly refer to a woman reputable payday loan by how many kids she has (actress x, star of yy, and mother of 4, or singer z, a mother of baby wibble etc), and the references in the media consolidating bills home to childfree women as selfish, immature, or career bitches mean there cash til pay day is pressure all round.”

You know, I notice that too– “mom of 4 does whatever”, or “I’m a mom and I can… 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6.”– as if the greatest achievement for a woman is nothing more than reproducing consolidating bills home. But it’s never that way for men; in fact, if parental status is mentioned for a man it’s bad debt loans south africa an aside. &(*^%@g double standards.

Scott August 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm

What’s even more ridiculous is pointing out that a woman is a grandmother. Theoretically there 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 could be some achievement in giving birth (I mean, it sounds not paying payday loans like a nightmare to me, I know it ain’t easy) but you can’t make yourself payday loans that accept prepaid visa a grandparent! That’s giving someone credit reputable payday loan for something she had no control over.

If the parental status really was just a neutral piece of information reputable payday loan, then you would see famous people labeled as having 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 “zero children” or I prefer to tell people I have zero children consolidating bills home, instead of saying childfree or childless. To me, zero should be respected as much as any other 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 number of children.

Rhona July 19, 2011 at 9:55 pm

I have made my decision to not have kids known to all my friends and most family members (that I see or care to talk to) and all seen to accept bad debt loans south africa but one person. My mother will sometimes throw in a little jag here and there reputable payday loan when I at least expect it. Just this past weekend during a chat about gifts reputable payday loan for my sisters upcoming wedding shower, my mom said, “your sister bad debt loans south africa should be buying lingerie for your wedding instead of the other payday loans that accept prepaid visa way around”…not verbatim but close enough. I choose not to date (and have sex), get married or have kids and my mother not paying payday loans just will not accept my decision. She is not as bad as she used to be years ago but she gets in her jags (I think in an attempt payday loans that accept prepaid visa to guilt me into getting married and giving her some grandkids-not working) reputable payday loan when she can. At this stage, I either just roll my eyes and not reply or give her the cold shoulder. It all depends reputable payday loan on my mood.

sophie July 20, 2011 at 5:17 am

No pressure on my end; but then it could also be because I spend bad debt loans south africa zero time with the childed. I simply have no tolerance for conversations than run no deeper 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 than, “she sleeps through the night,” payday loans that accept prepaid visa or “she coughs up her food.” Yawn. I read 20 books per year, and refuse to downgrade bad debt loans south africa my intellect, so I avoid breeders like the plague.

HappyNow July 22, 2011 at 3:19 pm

I love, love, love this. You have totally hit the nail on the head. Breeders are boring and do not want to become one.
When my daughter was born 10 years payday loans that accept prepaid visa ago, I went back to work after two weeks because I could not stand the other not paying payday loans mommies. Bla. Who gives a shit if your kid is in the 80th percentile for size and sleeps five hours straight?

Aeris December 1, 2011 at 4:04 pm

…I totally agree! I find the breeders are the most selfish, as they extend not paying payday loans this selfishness to their kids. Tey take the people around them as hostages and you can’t say anything payday loans that accept prepaid visa because ”it’s CHILLLLDREN!”
I am a painter and I don,t piss off people 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 with the particular way this or that pigment is dripping.
So PLEASE don’t tell me how and when diapers bad debt loans south africa are dripping too!

Lucy November 11, 2012 at 3:07 pm

I hate those stupid mombies, sitting in their cafes with their payday loans that accept prepaid visa prams wiffling on about birth and tit feeding and every not paying payday loans other boring/disgusting story. I hate them. And dont get me started on breederbook, sorry, Facebook reputable payday loan.

Bree January 7, 2013 at 12:16 pm

My boyfriend & I also refer to people with multiple children reputable payday loan as “breeders” & it seems that is all they can focus on, or care to discuss. We are both 35 & bad debt loans south africa have been together for 8 years, so of course most of our breeder friends reputable payday loan are always asking when we are getting married because we are running reputable payday loan out of time. Neither of us are in a rush because we have no plans to have children. I got Mirena last year to make sure! Just over this past Christmas payday loans that accept prepaid visa holiday my boyfriend’s brother made a funny comment that justified our stance not paying payday loans (he & his wife have a 2 year old and a newborn) he said “If either of you even question that you might want kids, just come over to our house payday loans that accept prepaid visa where you can be annoyed all day, everyday.” Enough reputable payday loan said.

hannah August 7, 2013 at 6:47 pm

Sophie,
Many people with children actually do read, and they read not simply for professional bad debt loans south africa mastery, but also for ongoing intellectual and cultural stimulation. Whether one has children not paying payday loans or not really does not determine whether one reads; rather it is the desire to keep learning 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 that fuels the love of reading.

Lonely July 20, 2011 at 7:17 am

I am a 26 yr old woman married for 2 yrs now. pressure of having a child 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 is there from both our families. my husband doesnt want to have kids and live a lyf of his own…
I wanted this when i was dating reputable payday loan him but of late i have developed a sense of having a child. Still it is not that bad that i want to have it immediately… payday loans that accept prepaid visa i have discussed it with my husband. But he doesnt seem to take it seriously. I am living bad debt loans south africa alone with my husband wid not a regular job at hand and i at times feel very lonely, maybe becoz reputable payday loan of this i want to have a child….

Could you please help, how can i overcome this feeling of having a baby or develope a feeling 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 of living a childless life.

Valerie July 21, 2011 at 12:45 pm

I knew a couple who always wanted kids, but they got pregnant earlier than they otherwise 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 might have because the wife is lonely – she never sees her working 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 attorney husband. They have two kids now, one is a handful and the other is sweet, but needs not paying payday loans brain surgery this year. If you are bored or lonely, try a hobby reputable payday loan or a puppy first.

Lonely July 24, 2011 at 3:33 am

Thanx 4 replying Valerie….

resi October 29, 2011 at 8:34 pm

i don’t want to trivialize your feelings of wanting a child. when i say this i am only speaking from my own experience payday loans that accept prepaid visa. i have never wanted children and i still don’t, but you say you’re reputable payday loan 26 and i remember that when i turned 26 was the time that my body started to disagree with me on the matter. your body wants 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 you to have kids and as you get closer to the time when it can’t it starts to play mean tricks on you with hormones. i can remember bad debt loans south africa having thoughts of “maybe it wouldn’t be so bad”, and i’d payday loans that accept prepaid visa get weepy and feel lonely, but i got through it and realized that it wasn’t bad debt loans south africa what i wanted at all. i still get urges, but i am confident in my decision. i’m bad debt loans south africa not saying you’re like me, only that it is something to consider

Jenn July 20, 2011 at 12:52 pm

I’ve found that moving downtown has helped not paying payday loans relieve the pressure some, too.

I get more offhand comments with the assumption that I’ll have kids someday bad debt loans south africa than outright confrontation. I’m not super open with how steadfastly I intend reputable payday loan to not have them, particularly to people like BF’s parents, my father payday loans that accept prepaid visa, etc. Little things like, “And such-and-such will be great for your kids” payday loans that accept prepaid visa from BF’s mom, which is intended completely innocently reputable payday loan, so it’s not really an offense. We neither confirm nor deny, in those not paying payday loans situations. No reason to fluster her by causing a ruckus over a throw-away bad debt loans south africa comment.

BF & I aren’t married (obvs, or I wouldn’t bad debt loans south africa refer to him as “BF”), I’m sure the pressure will increase once that’s not paying payday loans changed… for now, we hang out with mostly childfree people, so any pressure that does come about is usually payday loans that accept prepaid visa squashed politely with an “It’s not for us.”

Magenta Baribeau July 20, 2011 at 2:28 pm

What really surprises me is when non-childfree people go, “What 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 do you mean, pressure? Come on! We’re not in the ’50s anymore.” And I go, this is exactly bad debt loans south africa why it’s surprising. Why do people care if we procreate or not? I still haven’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa figured out to this day why it’s anyone’s business what I do with my uterus.

I was on CBC radio the other day and you should read the amount of comments bad debt loans south africa (cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/story/2011/07/17/montreal-child-free-717.html) that generated! People kept calling this a “non-event” bad debt loans south africa, that we shouldn’t try to come out and ask for respect because no one cares… I found bad debt loans south africa this shocking. I wish no one cared! I wish people were OK with my decision. But that’s not the case. I am far from the “victim” type thinking bad debt loans south africa everyone is out to get me, but whenever you put your lack of interest for motherhood forward (especially online) reputable payday loan, people start attacking you, calling you names. The worse reputable payday loan one I’ve heard this far is that we’re “useless” if we don’t have kids. This truly bad debt loans south africa hurt me. To have people pass jugement on other people like that. I would never consolidating bills home call anyone useless, yet I am being called immature, selfish 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 and useless. Ouch!

Can I be a hippie now and just say, “Why don’t we try to get along bad debt loans south africa and find some common ground?”

Arcsis June 8, 2012 at 4:15 pm

I looked over that article & saw that it contained a poll; not paying payday loans none of the available options were really supportive of the couple & bad debt loans south africa their picnic. Curious. O.o

Jodykat July 23, 2011 at 8:23 pm

Greetings from London Britgirl.

Well yes, I did want children but it didn’t work out for me and I agree that the gap between parents payday loans that accept prepaid visa and the childfree may look subtle to some, but it can be a tough space to negotiate sometimes bad debt loans south africa.

Now that I’m in my late 40s, people ask me less if I’m ‘going’ bad debt loans south africa to have a family – but they still ask if I have one. Mostly I’m OK with that now, but I’d bad debt loans south africa still rather talk about something else. It’s bad debt loans south africa not the defining feature of my life. I couldn’t have kids. I tried. It didn’t reputable payday loan work. I grieved. I’m OK. And in fact, now that I’m 47 and childfree, I’m neither bad debt loans south africa blithe about the loss nor blind to its advantages.

What I do think we need is more childfree role models. Women who are middle-aged not paying payday loans, happy, fulfilled and rocking their life, whatever reputable payday loan shape that takes. Women who are late middle-aged and still going 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 for it. Wise old women who love kids, love life and love themselves. And who nobody ever asks anymore if they ‘regret’ not having 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 kids because it’s perfectly obvious that their life choices not paying payday loans and chances have worked out just fine.

I started Gateway Women partly as a quest to identify and celebrate 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 these women because sometimes I feel like I’m in a club of one. Nice to meet you Britgirl reputable payday loan and love your blog.

Jody x

Chrissy July 26, 2011 at 3:10 pm

I totally agree with you on the role model part. We need more assertive role models for women bad debt loans south africa, of all ethnicities, whose sole purpose for living does not revolve around reputable payday loan children. I’ll even take someone like Corinne Maier bad debt loans south africa who has kids but at least admits they’re not the be-all, end-all to womanhood bad debt loans south africa.

Chrissy July 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I’m a fence sitter at the moment, but only because of those not paying payday loans societal pressures that are difficult to dismiss, even though bad debt loans south africa I’ve never (from a young age) wanted not paying payday loans kids. Babies are adorable, but only because I don’t have to take care of them. I would get so mad when people would reputable payday loan say “Oh, you will want them when you’re older” or “Just you wait” when I pointed out some annoying payday loans that accept prepaid visa aspect about children.

Well, now I’m in my late 20′s and while I still have time, I feel the question is looming not paying payday loans more than ever now that all of my friends are breeding. My lovely boyfriend was a little miffed reputable payday loan when his friend (who just gave birth) asked if I was ready to become reputable payday loan a mother and I freaked out on her a little with a firm HELL NO. He asked if next time I could be a little more subtle consolidating bills home about it :) I guess I could, out of politeness, but kids are becoming not paying payday loans a touchy subject for me because the more I think about it, the more I don’t 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 want them but I’m also not blind to the fact that it’s not an easy choice to be CF either (as in, facing all the childed not paying payday loans comments, etc.)

I have noticed though in my search for CF commiseration that there seems consolidating bills home to be much more support for the CF woman in Europe than here in the USA. Maybe I’ll move to Europe not paying payday loans :)

Xaviere July 28, 2011 at 10:40 am

Ah, pressure. As a 32 year old hetero married woman, yes, I have experienced pressure payday loans that accept prepaid visa to procreate, particularly from my own mother and my MIL.

I have found that reaching a place of peace in regard to my decision 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 to be CF helps with pressure a LOT. Detachment! It gets a lot easier when I don’t take peoples’ 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 thoughtless comments personally (who would have thought 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6, amirite?).

I personally have found with mothers (at least mine), it helps consolidating bills home a lot to reassure them. Remember, most people who bingo the CF do it because of their bad debt loans south africa OWN anxieties and insecurities. So, with mothers, it’s that panic-stricken “Is it because reputable payday loan I was a bad mother?” Soothing my mother with the whole bad debt loans south africa “You raised me just fine, I just don’t want to reproduce is all” bad debt loans south africa has gone a long way in my case. Of course, this might not work for everyone (some of us CF people DID have terrible reputable payday loan parents, and that factors into individual decisions).

And I’m keeping some “helpful suggestions” consolidating bills home in my back pocket with my MIL. The main one will be, if she gets baby rabid, to lovingly suggest that she look into volunteering at the hospital (perhaps consolidating bills home testing newborns’ hearing?) so she can get a baby fix if she needs babies consolidating bills home in her life that badly. In my experience, really connecting with the person and getting to the reasons reputable payday loan behind the bingo are important. Of course, this advice 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 I’m giving (showing the person genuine love and concern) bad debt loans south africa is for when one is dealing with family and friends one actually cares reputable payday loan about; stupid acquaintances and other assorted 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 assholes (SA & OAA) can go hang for all I care.

Hell, I will say that the most vocal bingo-ers are people who are insecure about their consolidating bills home own paths in life, and they find solace in conformity. So they bingo like hell, because 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 they cannot conceive of (heh) not doing what everyone reputable payday loan else is doing. Herd behavior grosses me out, especially the Conforming Charlies and Charlottes 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 who think it’s their job to bring nonconforming group 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 members “back in line” using any means necessary not paying payday loans. Pee on them, I say.

Christine August 3, 2011 at 1:20 am

I’ve been in a very solid and happy relationship with my significant bad debt loans south africa other for 7 years, although not married yet. We just turned 30 and we are already not paying payday loans feeling the pressure from his family to start breeding reputable payday loan. We haven’t even decided we even want to have children and his mom is already trying not paying payday loans to give names to our non-existent kids. We’re not going to bother payday loans that accept prepaid visa arguing with the childed because they will never see it our way. We just ignore the comments payday loans that accept prepaid visa or change the subject.

jennyjen August 4, 2011 at 4:14 am

Ooh. This could be my life. Been with dude for 10 years, married for one. At our WEDDING last year Mum-in-law reputable payday loan (love her) drank a few too many lychee martinis and literally badgered me at my reception cash til pay day about how she has been waiting TOO LONG for more grandchildren. As we have a pretty cool relationship payday loans that accept prepaid visa I simply guided her to my sticky, overtired, filthy little nieces reputable payday loan and said: “Now don’t be greedy! You already reputable payday loan have these two!”

She laughed, she got it. But I have to say the ‘baby bedlam’ rant is in no way slowing down. She wants not paying payday loans more, damnit.

So I tried to have an honest, grown-up chat about it, going over all of the reasons 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 over the years that I have discovered why we are happier childfree. And why we will stay that way. All she could say was a dismissive; “Oh payday loans that accept prepaid visa, you’re just over thinking it.” WTF? I got irritated and replied, yeah, you know…over thinking not paying payday loans might be the problem. Maybe next time we buy a house we’ll just do it sight not paying payday loans unseen. Why waste time researching a life decision? Or a holiday payday loans that accept prepaid visa even, hell, we won’t think about it, we’ll just chuck some money bad debt loans south africa at it and hope for the best. Car? Eh, just hand me the keys to whatever is on the lot, I wouldn’t want to think about it too much.

Foolishness.

As I gently tell the most rabid of the bingo-ers, I have put more thought into NOT having reputable payday loan children, than most people ever do before going “what the hell, we’re bad debt loans south africa bored, lets procreate!”

I think about NOT having children all of the time, and I carefully weigh my options not paying payday loans, the pros and cons, the financial implications, etc. The exact same mental chewing over that almost reputable payday loan all childfree people do. I don’t hate kids, I don’t even not like kids, I have just CAREFULLY thought not paying payday loans, and discussed with my partner a great deal about why this is the best choice for us.

What is wrong with thinking something through?!

(I can answer that…and it is wrong to the person who doesn’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa share your view…but I digress.)

Rick August 9, 2011 at 12:14 am

LOL – “what the hell, we’re bored, lets procreate payday loans that accept prepaid visa!”. I will be using that line.

Jonah Green August 20, 2011 at 8:07 am

I find myself in a very difficult situation indeed.

I met my girlfriend when I was 20 – I’m now 27 – and I made it clear 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 that I didn’t want to have children. The very thought of having a child, particularly reputable payday loan so young, didn’t seem remotely appealing. Plus I could reputable payday loan never understand the ‘will-to-have children’ which other people bad debt loans south africa around me, mostly women, seemed to have. I do not reject payday loans that accept prepaid visa their desire to procreate. I just don’t entirely understand it.

In any event, must of my time is spent on human rights 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 issues and I love the work that I do. I know that having a child would make this extremely difficult bad debt loans south africa and complicate the other goals that I have set for myself in the future. In spite reputable payday loan of this, and in spite of my honesty in making my girlfriend aware that I did not want children reputable payday loan, she is asking me to change my mind.

She, for some reason unbeknown to me, thought I would change reputable payday loan my mind and develop a sudden desire for children. I think she felt she could bad debt loans south africa ‘change’ my mind and, by getting close to me, show me ‘the light’ so-to-speak not paying payday loans. Yet this would, in theory at least, require that I cease processing reality payday loans that accept prepaid visa in a particular way and entirely view things the way ‘she’ wants not paying payday loans me to – thereby abandoning my own independence of thought consolidating bills home (something I value more than anything in the world).

I honestly don’t know what to do at this juncture. Even though I care tremendously for her and would 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 do anything to please her, I feel that the joists are moving. I feel that our relationship, because payday loans that accept prepaid visa of mutually exclusive wants, is beginning to fall apart. For my own selfish 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 part, I wish she would drop her desire for children. I know this is a horrible thing to say, but I say it as I love her in every payday loans that accept prepaid visa way possible. Equally, I know she wants me to ‘want’ children and to give up my other reputable payday loan pursuits for the sake of a relationship on her terms.

I don’t know how this is going to end. I try to stop debates about children head-on cash til pay day and she has pressured me into at least ‘thinking’ about having children reputable payday loan. But the more I think – about the years of care, nourishment, sacrifice not paying payday loans, that go into having a child – the less I feel I want to have one. I honestly don’t know what to do. Any advice is greatly reputable payday loan appreciated,

deegee August 20, 2011 at 11:01 am

Jonah, I hate to say this, but you and your girlfriend will have to split. Whoever caves will end up feeling not paying payday loans bad while the other other will (should?) feel guilty.

You need to set her free so she can find a man who will want to have kids. And she needs to set you free so you can find a woman who is childfree like you are.

You two have an irreconcilable difference, a dealbreaker, which has only one outcome bad debt loans south africa – splitting up.

Jackie September 4, 2011 at 10:19 am

I think deegee is right.
If you had children, your life would reputable payday loan change beyond measure. For some people, this is a something they want. For you, this is NOT what you want. You would end up resenting payday loans that accept prepaid visa her for pressuring you into having children and many couples split up after having reputable payday loan children as their relationship has changed dramatically reputable payday loan. You really need to sit down with her and tell her EXACTLY how you feel, and how you will not change your mind. You have to be frankly honest bad debt loans south africa with her, as this is *your life* and having a child will change your life forever bad debt loans south africa, there is no going back. At the end of it, this is about a not-even-yet-conceived foetus, and you can walk away before bad debt loans south africa it’s too late. This will be very hard for you, for you both. She may hate you for it. But you will eventually get over her, you cannot put a child back. There payday loans that accept prepaid visa are many women and men who were pressured into having children and regret not paying payday loans it and hate being a parent. There are many blogs out there bad debt loans south africa testament to this, just google it. You will then eventually meet someone who is like-minded, and there payday loans that accept prepaid visa are more child-free women out there than you think.
I find it bizarre not paying payday loans that many women (and men) put the life of a not-even-conceived-yet-foetus ahead of their partners cash til pay day happiness, but that might just be me and my non-maternal thoughts.

Jackie September 4, 2011 at 10:19 am

Oh, and good luck xx

mary October 29, 2011 at 10:45 pm

Jonah, I went through this. In the end we split amicably and remain payday loans that accept prepaid visa good friends. It hurt at the time, but you get over these things.

We split up a year ago, and the other night I was reading my diary bad debt loans south africa entries from that time. And the months before. And the years before 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6. And guess what, I am FAR happier now than I was for the last YEAR of our relationship, because I spent 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 it thinking and worrying and second-guessing and feeling guilty for “getting in the way” reputable payday loan of his life. I thought I wouldn’t be able to live without him, but it turns out I now have a really consolidating bills home great friendship with him, without all of the agonising confusion that we had when we were together not paying payday loans.

My advice having been through it is this: end the relationship while payday loans that accept prepaid visa you still care about and respect each other (ie before it gets bitter and horrible) payday loans that accept prepaid visa. You will both eventually move on and you won’t look back.

Big hugs. I remember how much doubt I was dealing with this time last year. It’s payday loans that accept prepaid visa such a relief to have it behind me. Good luck and try not to argue about it – bad debt loans south africa just talk. :)

Scott November 8, 2011 at 9:29 pm

Everyone else has had great advice and put it better than I ever could.

I would just add that you have reproductive rights. That includes the right to decide not paying payday loans within certain parameters whether or not you will be a father cash til pay day. (I say “within certain parameters” because if you get someone pregnant reputable payday loan it’s out of your hands by that point, obviously.) Your sperm belongs to you. Your reproductive not paying payday loans status is up to you. You have the right to resist reproductive pressure bad debt loans south africa. You are under no obligation to make a baby with anyone. If you are with a partner who acts threatened when you assert not paying payday loans your rights to your own reproduction, then that partner is crossing the line into claiming payday loans that accept prepaid visa ownership of you.

digchild August 30, 2011 at 5:36 am

A married couple who chose not to have kids should not be pressurized into having reputable payday loan kids.This is because they could end up as terrible parents and blame others for the bad behaviour payday loans that accept prepaid visa of their kids.

MightyPutty September 2, 2011 at 1:56 pm

1. I have a Queen sized bed all to myself

2. I have money in my wallet that no one takes

3. I can stay up as late as I want, eat over the sink, play video games, jerk off without worrying about reputable payday loan disease, kids, etc

4. i have best friends and a cat I live with and am never alone

5. I am seeing a lovely transgender who knows what a man wants consolidating bills home and needs without having a kid (why I didn’t date one earlier is beyond bad debt loans south africa me and she looks like a girl, yes I call her a she because that is what she feels to be obviously)

6. I can hear out of my ears without screaming in them from a wife or kid

7. I can swear freely if i am really mad

8. I can spend a whole Saturday watching college football instead consolidating bills home of shopping at Babies r Us

9. Money goes to bills and entertainment and not bills and food kids will never eat

consolidating bills home

10. Let’s sum it up in three words. I AM FREE.

Jackie September 4, 2011 at 10:33 am

I’ve never really wanted children bad debt loans south africa, nor has has my partner. Years ago, when asked about children, I used to say, “probably not” reputable payday loan and avoid further badgering by being vague 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6. But now that I’ve been “bingoed” for over 10 years, I’m now used to it and am far more honest bad debt loans south africa and forthright about it. As far as I’m concerned, it’s mine and my partners business reputable payday loan and no one elses. Over the years, the questions have got more and more condescending, dismissive and personal reputable payday loan, down to asking, “What would happen in you got pregnant by accident?” bad debt loans south africa and my answers have been more and more honest. I’m never rude, and would never payday loans that accept prepaid visa question someone else’s choice to have children, so why do “they” question 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 *my* right to chose to be child-free.

Tabby January 22, 2012 at 10:55 am

My favorite way to counteract the ‘accidental pregnancy’ bad debt loans south africa gambit is to say, “Yanno, that’s hard to do when you’re STERILE.” not paying payday loans Now, to my best knowledge, I’m fertile. But the bingo player doesn’t reputable payday loan need to know that, now do they? *insert evil grin here* It’s more to make the point that the other person 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 is being rude by inquiring into a very personal area of life. If they continue, I simply say, “Look, you’re payday loans that accept prepaid visa annoying as hell. I don’t have to explain myself to you, so stop asking and get on with life.”

not paying payday loans

Yes, you can say it: I’m an acerbic bitch. I don’t mind; I was born this way.

Bunny Harriet October 24, 2011 at 9:07 am

I am nearly 24 and have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. Even at my age I’ve had the probing question 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6, “when are ya havin’ kids?!” when I say I’m not having bad debt loans south africa a kid because I have chosen to be childfree I get one of many responses:

“oh hahaha, I used to say the same thing when I was your age! You’ll change not paying payday loans your mind. It’s so different when they’re you’re own.”
“No really. You’ll change your mind.”
“I bad debt loans south africa actually didn’t think I wanted kids either but now that I’m a mom I am so grateful bad debt loans south africa. It is so amazing.” (this was from a woman with a 16 month old who has free childcare for 49 hrs a week compliments reputable payday loan of grandma and the kid is a SAINT. My point is her experience is atypical and I know she started reputable payday loan Paxil just a few months before).
“you’re too young bad debt loans south africa to make a decision like that!”

I love when someone says I’m too young. Why do people support teens and young reputable payday loan adults in their decision to have a child but won’t support 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 my decision to NOT have a child. It’s so backward.

Scott November 8, 2011 at 9:20 pm

One counter I’ve heard of but haven’t cash til pay day had the chance to try yet:

If someone says that you’ll change your mind, challenge consolidating bills home him or her to wager money on it. Say you’re willing to draw up a signed payday loans that accept prepaid visa document about it and everything. “If you’re so sure I’ll not paying payday loans change my mind, then you should be fine with betting $500 that I’ll have kids. What? You won’t bad debt loans south africa bet? Are you thinking that maybe I WON’T change my mind?”

Supposedly the people who have countered with this have never gotten any takers payday loans that accept prepaid visa. What does that say about hte bingoers?

resi October 29, 2011 at 8:25 pm

i deal with the pressure by understanding that the people pressuring me are not happy bad debt loans south africa with the decision they made to have children. if they were comfortably and happy with the decision they made to have children they would consolidating bills home not be bothered by or care about the fact that the decision i have made is different. they don’t reputable payday loan want to consider being child free a valid option payday loans that accept prepaid visa that can lead to anything but misery and regret because they are miserable and filled with regret not paying payday loans. people that are happy with their lives, families not paying payday loans, and the choices they’ve made don’t bother trying to make you feel bad about your own choices reputable payday loan.

Scott November 8, 2011 at 9:11 pm

Totally agree with you about other people reputable payday loan projecting. People who give you bingoes or pressure you into having children consolidating bills home are probably not listening to you. More likely they’re working out their cash til pay day own issues, or they’re talking to some fictional character they think reputable payday loan you are, or they’re trying to convince themselves. In many cases, they’re bad debt loans south africa not really thinking at all but just reacting based on a script they don’t even know they’re consolidating bills home following. Some of them may be genuinely happy to be parents but they just don’t think outside payday loans that accept prepaid visa their own experience very well.

Jerry Steinberg December 1, 2011 at 3:07 pm

The pressure to bear can become unbearable!

People should just mind their own business, and not pressure 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 their friends, their children, or even their spouse bad debt loans south africa to have children. Would you think it’s OK for someone reputable payday loan to force someone else to become a neurosurgeon, a bus driver bad debt loans south africa, or a ballet dancer if that person had no interest in that occupation? The same applies to the career bad debt loans south africa of parent.

Besides, if you find that your chosen occupation isn’t a good fit, you can always 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 change. Parenthood, however, can be a life sentence — you’re payday loans that accept prepaid visa legally responsible for those kids until they’re adults 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6, and morally for the rest of your life.

The person who will have to live with the consequences of a choice should be the only one making payday loans that accept prepaid visa that decision.

Jerry Steinberg
Founding Non-Father Emeritus consolidating bills home of NO KIDDING!
The international social club for childless and childfree couples reputable payday loan and singles
http://www.nokidding.net; jerry@nokidding.net

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Aeris December 1, 2011 at 4:22 pm

My gosh it feels so good to read you guys. I am a 30 years old woman living in Montreal payday loans that accept prepaid visa -salut Magenta!- and I am a hardcore childfree. My family is just fine with this, as they know me. I’m bad debt loans south africa a free artist and my children are my paintings and my cats.
The pressure comes from my boyfriend and my in-laws 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6. They are portuguese and for them, family is evrything, if not the only thing.
I’ve been trying reputable payday loan to tell my boyfriend (that I love deeply) about this, but he just doesnt believe me. He says that a-woman-wants-to-be-a-mother-period payday loans that accept prepaid visa. He totally brushes away my feelings saying ”for payday loans that accept prepaid visa now I’m not ready and by the time I am you’ll have changed your mind”.
Now he casually 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 drops (more and more often) that HIS son will do this, be like that, that HIS children won’t go to daycare payday loans that accept prepaid visa, that when he’ll be a father he’ll do that, blablabla….
It’s hurting me more and more and I lately reputable payday loan discovred it’s ruining my feelings for him.
I am even feeling not paying payday loans less and less attracted to him…
I really don,t know what to do :-((

Sakura2209 December 10, 2011 at 3:01 am

If he is like this towards you and not respecting your decisions and thoughts consolidating bills home, than he is not worth it. You deserve better. Cliche but true.

Scarebear January 26, 2012 at 11:45 pm

Xaviere,

Suggesting volunteer work is a good idea. I may try that with my baby-rabid MIL. When we were dating, DH told her we weren’t having kids and she grudgingly payday loans that accept prepaid visa accepted (though she did pout and whine for quite some time). Now that we’re married consolidating bills home she seems to think there was a statute of limitations on that decision bad debt loans south africa and that we are going to change our minds. I am considering telling her to look into being payday loans that accept prepaid visa a foster parent, or volunteering at the children’s hospital, but what is a good way to say that in a loving manner consolidating bills home?

Leslie Brooks February 9, 2012 at 6:30 pm

Oh God yes! I have never been kid friendly. I mean I love my nieces and nephews very much. I just never bad debt loans south africa had the maternal instinct and never heard the biological clock ticking 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6. It just never mattered to me. Then my mom got sick and the thought of having a child plus take care of my ill mother bad debt loans south africa just would kill me. Then last year I got a partiel hysterectemy but oddly enough that still 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 hasn’t stopped people from asking if I am ever going 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 to have children. My neighbor and I get into horrendous arguments about whether I should cash til pay day have kids. I tell I can’t, literally can’t have kids she now wants me to adopt. No matter payday loans that accept prepaid visa how many times I have told her I don’t like children she has a response (she has two children and can barely payday loans that accept prepaid visa take care of her own kids). Finally I just quit going to her apartment because I got tired payday loans that accept prepaid visa of argument.

Marcia Drut-Davis February 14, 2012 at 3:26 pm

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Kate May 12, 2012 at 2:19 am

I don’t really feel that anyone in particular pressures me – reputable payday loan just society in general. In the town where I live (in British Columbia, Canada) bad debt loans south africa, it seems like all people in my age group (30′s) are having kids. Most of my friends bad debt loans south africa have spent the past five or six years trying to find their dream not paying payday loans job or get established in their careers and then once they attained that they seem dissatisfied reputable payday loan and then they get pregnant, as if they are just moving on to the next thing to accomplish. It makes bad debt loans south africa me feel uncomfortable that nearly everyone in my social circle payday loans that accept prepaid visa has taken this path, although I don’t really feel pressured not paying payday loans to do the same since I have known for a while that I wouldn’t be having any kids. Up until a few weeks reputable payday loan ago, I wasn’t sure how to deal with my frustrations, so i have started my own site/blog, which seems to be helping bad debt loans south africa quite a bit, along with reading others blogs on this topic 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6.

digchild May 25, 2012 at 10:51 pm

I know of my neighbour who is being pressured by nearly everyone bad debt loans south africa around her to have more sons.She has a son and 2 daughters,yet she has succumbed to this pressure and is trying to have 2 more sons.I don’t understand not paying payday loans why initially people are pressured to have kids,then later they are pressured to have more sons if they don’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa already have at least 2 sons.I mean,having daughters isn’t a sign of infertility not paying payday loans and neither are daughters worthless.

Dawn June 19, 2012 at 12:17 am

I don’t feel pressure to have children, but I do feel a bit ostracized by my friends who do have children consolidating bills home.!

Christy August 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm

My husband and I lost our daughter to still birth and before 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 that a set of twins to a horrible miscarriage. I had been told that I was sterile so the twins were a shock payday loans that accept prepaid visa, afterwards my mother passed and we succumbed to pressure and hormones bad debt loans south africa and attempted to have a child. Since then, we have decided to become consolidating bills home child free. Nothing irritates me more now than MIL who I JUST met is already poking us about children payday loans that accept prepaid visa and posting cute things on facebook because “Oh my gosh I may actually have grandkids payday loans that accept prepaid visa.”…. she can poke his sister. We’ve worked damn hard to have this nice house, nice car, I like my designer bags and clothes reputable payday loan, money I don’t have to spend on children. I love my career reputable payday loan and my two pomerainians, who I dress up and carry everywhere. They’re better behaved not paying payday loans than 90% of the kids you see out today. I look forward to her openly confronting us about our decision.

Allendo October 6, 2012 at 7:18 pm

I have a friend whose 9 yr old daughter is constantly manipulating her. My neighbour 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 looks worn down and isolated by her uncooperative two yr old. My sister’s 13 yr old son took off to another state to live with his father bad debt loans south africa. Most of us know the impulse to run when we hear the squeal/scream/squawk of somebody else’s kiddy and how people can bring bad debt loans south africa themselves to cooo over the slimey, crumpled look of a bawling newborn is beyond bad debt loans south africa me. The stories are all around us, the spectacle of human beings, in particular “mums” bad debt loans south africa, reshaped into the dribbling vassals of their consumer reputable payday loan offspring is in plain sight. Yet, now 43, I have a hole in my life that might only be filled by one of those crumpled bad debt loans south africa, bawling bundles. Although in a relationship for 20 yrs, my age and lifestyle make that a generally uncomfortable bad debt loans south africa and unworkable thought. My mother died 12 yrs ago, leaving the hole I now feel. My gripe is the emphasis not paying payday loans that people place on their tribe, their own gene pool. If people could reputable payday loan make connections with others that were independent of whether you looked like them or not, fed directly into their reputable payday loan primitive sense of self, the need to breed wouldn’t be so strong consolidating bills home and the world would be a warmer place. Instead what I get is people reputable payday loan, mostly women (mums would’nt you know ) defending bad debt loans south africa their tribe and competing with you, as an example of CF living payday loans that accept prepaid visa, for psychological sustenance. You know the jibes, the back handed comments, the ones that denigrate 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6 what’s important to you. What’s my escape route? How do I find contentment payday loans that accept prepaid visa living amongst the mumma bears, as we all have to do. I tried payday loans that accept prepaid visa hanging out with lesbians and dog lovers but that appeared starkly to me one day as a crusty reputable payday loan and dried up way to live. What to do? What to do? That is my dilemma.

Katamari June 3, 2013 at 2:26 am

You bet I feel the pressure! My dad has been bugging me about giving him grandchildren since reputable payday loan I was 20 years old (I’m 26 now). My best anectode about this is when I went to visit reputable payday loan him with my boyfriend (dad lives overseas). On a day trip, my bf took a funny photo of me in a wind tunnel payday loans that accept prepaid visa where the wind billowed up under my dress and made my tummy look big. When we got back home to Australia 4 canadian payday loan pg 2,6, we looked through all our holiday snaps, which bad debt loans south africa is when I realised that my dad, in sorting through them, had decided to title consolidating bills home that particular photo “unfortunately not”. And that’s bad debt loans south africa subtle compared to some of the rants I’ve gotten from him.

I’ve learned not to take it personally at all. I know he’s only fixated on this issue bad debt loans south africa because he hasn’t had a very fulfilling life; he’s essentially reputable payday loan a bag of neuroses, anxiety and depression, and he thinks that having grandkids reputable payday loan would solve all that. My mum, in contrast, doesn’t feel the need to pressure bad debt loans south africa me because she is happy and satisfied in her life and doesn’t need to live it vicariously through me. (Parents not paying payday loans have been divorced for a long time btw.) When people pressure you about having kids, it’s reputable payday loan never about you. Case in point – my neighbour has just had a baby, and has also recently bad debt loans south africa taken to being very pushy in trying to convince me to have kids. I’m bad debt loans south africa pretty sure he’s trying to convince himself cash til pay day. :p

When I get pressured to breed, I feel pity for these people consolidating bills home who have unresolved anxieties that they are projecting onto me. They’re not worth my anger payday loans that accept prepaid visa.

Lauren December 27, 2013 at 9:59 am

I feel like people think I’m selfish for not wanting kids. It makes me self conscious reputable payday loan around those people. But I firmly believe no child should reputable payday loan have to be raised by someone that isn’t crazy about them. It wouldn’t payday loans that accept prepaid visa be fair to the child…how can that be a selfish thought?

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