Comments on: About http://thebritgirl.com The Interests of a Childfree Brit Living in Toronto Wed, 23 May 2012 19:02:31 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Nicky http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-2/#comment-19075 Nicky Mon, 09 May 2011 18:03:12 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-19075 Whatever. Whatever.

]]> By: Sylia http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-19074 Sylia Mon, 09 May 2011 17:58:46 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-19074 That's fine, whatever. What I think is harsh is the fact that you meet those who disagree with you with a rather junior high snotty "you're whiney and pathetic and I'm not" kind of attitude. It really discredits the content. I might be too used to reading academic blogs these days where people actually treat each other with a level of kindness, despite disagreeing. That’s fine, whatever. What I think is harsh is the fact that you meet those who disagree with you with a rather junior high snotty “you’re whiney and pathetic and I’m not” kind of attitude. It really discredits the content. I might be too used to reading academic blogs these days where people actually treat each other with a level of kindness, despite disagreeing.

]]> By: Nicky http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-19073 Nicky Mon, 09 May 2011 17:49:11 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-19073 Sylia... Yes. My response. Firstly - last time I looked it was my blog so I think that gives me the right to respond as I see fit. You don't have to read it and you certainly don't have to comment, especially if you're offended by my "harshness." But if you do wish to comment again - read the rules first. And read them carefully. Secondly - there are several hundred comments and posts (yes, on this very blog) that run the gamut of responses from both myself and other commentators on a wide variety of topics to a wide variety of people...and going back to 2006. I suggest you read a little deeper before you decide on what's "harsh" on this blog. I'm in a reasonable mood at the moment so I've decided to leave up your comment... despite your rather ill-informed presumptions. Sylia… Yes. My response. Firstly – last time I looked it was my blog so I think that gives me the right to respond as I see fit. You don’t have to read it and you certainly don’t have to comment, especially if you’re offended by my “harshness.” But if you do wish to comment again – read the rules first. And read them carefully.
Secondly – there are several hundred comments and posts (yes, on this very blog) that run the gamut of responses from both myself and other commentators on a wide variety of topics to a wide variety of people…and going back to 2006. I suggest you read a little deeper before you decide on what’s “harsh” on this blog.
I’m in a reasonable mood at the moment so I’ve decided to leave up your comment… despite your rather ill-informed presumptions.

]]> By: Sylia http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-19072 Sylia Mon, 09 May 2011 17:33:40 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-19072 You have a nice blog and have some great points, but seriously? Do you really have to be so pompous with people? Or is that just sorta your gig and attraction to get people to read your blog? Claire's comment from a blog post I came across while surfing for research: "I found out today that my husband of 3 months doesnt want anymore children (he has 13 an 17 year old daughters from first marriage) and we have a 19 month old son. I am only 24 and i married him under the impression we would have one more as he always said “get the next out quick, dont want a big age gap” I do understand that he now wants time for himself in life and to fufill dreams of his own, and im all for that. But its not easy to just except that you will never have another child when you always wanted one. My son brings so much joy to both our lives.. im not trying to justify having kids, its an individual choice. I have told my husband that i except the decision but just need some time to adjust." Your response: Claire – good for him. Looks like you should have done your homework a little more thoroughly. And, since you probably didn’t bother to check, this is a CHILDFREE blog. And our choice here is to discuss childfree related things. So we’re really not interested in how much joy your kid brings to both your lives, or your whining that now you want another because you’ve always wanted one. I personally could care less. You need a parent blog. Go find one. This isn’t it. Yeesh. Harsh. I'm not sure if you'll even post this comment since it's critical of you and this blog and you don't seem to like it when people are critical but whatever, I just had to say.... You have a nice blog and have some great points, but seriously? Do you really have to be so pompous with people? Or is that just sorta your gig and attraction to get people to read your blog?

Claire’s comment from a blog post I came across while surfing for research:

“I found out today that my husband of 3 months doesnt want anymore children (he has 13 an 17 year old daughters from first marriage) and we have a 19 month old son. I am only 24 and i married him under the impression we would have one more as he always said “get the next out quick, dont want a big age gap” I do understand that he now wants time for himself in life and to fufill dreams of his own, and im all for that. But its not easy to just except that you will never have another child when you always wanted one. My son brings so much joy to both our lives.. im not trying to justify having kids, its an individual choice. I have told my husband that i except the decision but just need some time to adjust.”

Your response:

Claire – good for him. Looks like you should have done your homework a little more thoroughly. And, since you probably didn’t bother to check, this is a CHILDFREE blog. And our choice here is to discuss childfree related things. So we’re really not interested in how much joy your kid brings to both your lives, or your whining that now you want another because you’ve always wanted one. I personally could care less.

You need a parent blog. Go find one. This isn’t it.

Yeesh. Harsh. I’m not sure if you’ll even post this comment since it’s critical of you and this blog and you don’t seem to like it when people are critical but whatever, I just had to say….

]]> By: Not-a-Mama http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18994 Not-a-Mama Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:23:19 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18994 Hey Britgirl! Just found your website today, and wanted to say thank you. It's exactly what I was looking for! I look forward to catching up on all your posts! Hey Britgirl!

Just found your website today, and wanted to say thank you. It’s exactly what I was looking for!

I look forward to catching up on all your posts!

]]> By: FlowerPower http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18783 FlowerPower Mon, 13 Dec 2010 09:49:52 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18783 Hi, What about writing about "Is Christmas different for the childfree?" ? Hi,
What about writing about “Is Christmas different for the childfree?” ?

]]> By: Benny http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18780 Benny Fri, 10 Dec 2010 15:58:25 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18780 Hi Britgirl, I discovered your BLOG today, which has had me almost crying, laughing and clapping in equal measure. (I'm a man btw) Despite what various people would have me believe, I'm not the only man or woman who simply DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN. A friend and I were chatting the other day and she questioned why all of our mates are suddenly "dropping sprogs" (KIDS). I admitted that although children are great, i've never wanted children, and never do. When she said she felt the same i nearly fainted! She's the first girl i've heard say, emphatically and indefinitely, that she doesn't want to be a mother. She also told me a story of one of her friends who was honest enough to admit that, (although she would never hurt or leave her kids and loves them dearly) that if she had her time again she'd prefer not to have had children. The work, worry, sleepless nights, etc etc are just too much for her. And thats just the first 5 years. Her honesty impressed my friend and I, and I felt guilty for feeling a pang of sympathy. There's no going back people! For reasons other than this "the child" question has been heavy on my mind recently, although my opinions on having them have not changed. Reading your blog and various comments and posts on here today has (believe it or not) been a real comfort. I just wanted to thank you and all your contributors. Keep up the good work Britgirl! - Benny Hi Britgirl,

I discovered your BLOG today, which has had me almost crying, laughing and clapping in equal measure. (I’m a man btw) Despite what various people would have me believe, I’m not the only man or woman who simply DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN.

A friend and I were chatting the other day and she questioned why all of our mates are suddenly “dropping sprogs” (KIDS). I admitted that although children are great, i’ve never wanted children, and never do. When she said she felt the same i nearly fainted! She’s the first girl i’ve heard say, emphatically and indefinitely, that she doesn’t want to be a mother.
She also told me a story of one of her friends who was honest enough to admit that, (although she would never hurt or leave her kids and loves them dearly) that if she had her time again she’d prefer not to have had children. The work, worry, sleepless nights, etc etc are just too much for her. And thats just the first 5 years. Her honesty impressed my friend and I, and I felt guilty for feeling a pang of sympathy. There’s no going back people!

For reasons other than this “the child” question has been heavy on my mind recently, although my opinions on having them have not changed. Reading your blog and various comments and posts on here today has (believe it or not) been a real comfort. I just wanted to thank you and all your contributors.

Keep up the good work Britgirl!
- Benny

]]> By: Trish http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18553 Trish Fri, 06 Aug 2010 19:54:52 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18553 I can relate to a lot of things on your list, but items 67 and 68 particularly jumped out at me. Six Feet Under was amazing; The Wire is a very close second! :-) I can relate to a lot of things on your list, but items 67 and 68 particularly jumped out at me. Six Feet Under was amazing; The Wire is a very close second! :-)

]]> By: Melissa http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18496 Melissa Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:59:41 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18496 Great list! I love british humour too. Great list! I love british humour too.

]]> By: Luci http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18300 Luci Sat, 22 May 2010 18:16:27 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18300 This is awesome about you and your husband! I met my fiance on the internet too, it's already 3,5 years but so far still long distance [we have met irl too, but cannot move together yet]. But unfortunately about jobs and the way the situation is right now... a lot of people, including me, would be glad to have even a job they don't really enjoy because it's still better than not having a job. Even for people with a university degree like me it's hard to find a job... of course I'm still trying, it's not like I only sit around complaining! :D This is awesome about you and your husband! I met my fiance on the internet too, it’s already 3,5 years but so far still long distance [we have met irl too, but cannot move together yet].
But unfortunately about jobs and the way the situation is right now… a lot of people, including me, would be glad to have even a job they don’t really enjoy because it’s still better than not having a job. Even for people with a university degree like me it’s hard to find a job… of course I’m still trying, it’s not like I only sit around complaining! :D

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18294 Britgirl Fri, 21 May 2010 17:20:21 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18294 The funny thing is that if you try to dissaude someone trying to conceive you will never win. They just think you are trying to keep them from having something you already have. And by that time they don't care or don't believe their figure will be affected. However if you are asked by a person considering being childfree then you should simply be honest - their are pros and cons. While you probably can't talk to what it's like being childfree you can give the unvarnished truth of rearing children. Most parents paint a rose-tinted picture and leave out key facts because all they want to do is convert. The funny thing is that if you try to dissaude someone trying to conceive you will never win. They just think you are trying to keep them from having something you already have. And by that time they don’t care or don’t believe their figure will be affected. However if you are asked by a person considering being childfree then you should simply be honest – their are pros and cons. While you probably can’t talk to what it’s like being childfree you can give the unvarnished truth of rearing children. Most parents paint a rose-tinted picture and leave out key facts because all they want to do is convert.

]]> By: Michael http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18266 Michael Mon, 10 May 2010 22:51:37 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18266 I think the answer to this is simple. By the time a couple is announcing publicly that they are trying to conceive, *the decision has already been firmly made.* They may be very very poor at their pros and cons analysis, but in their minds the due diligence has been done and the matter is settled. Thus your concerns seem to them as an overreaching, perhaps rude intrusion into their decision making process. Though I applaud your efforts at warning the hopelessly naive, the best technique might be to simply smile and say "I'm sure you must be so happy." If they express doubt it may be an invitation to comment further but I doubt it. I think the answer to this is simple. By the time a couple is announcing publicly that they are trying to conceive, *the decision has already been firmly made.* They may be very very poor at their pros and cons analysis, but in their minds the due diligence has been done and the matter is settled. Thus your concerns seem to them as an overreaching, perhaps rude intrusion into their decision making process. Though I applaud your efforts at warning the hopelessly naive, the best technique might be to simply smile and say “I’m sure you must be so happy.” If they express doubt it may be an invitation to comment further but I doubt it.

]]> By: just a gal into bikes http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-18265 just a gal into bikes Mon, 10 May 2010 13:20:38 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-18265 Hi Britgirl, I enojy your site for the most part, of course there will be comments that are offensive for both non-parents and parent side but overall I thoroughly enjoy your site and copming across so many different points of view. I'm a mom and to be quite honest I've never been in love with anyone or anything as I am with my children, BUT when my friends childless friends tell me they're are trying to conceive I honestly ask them: Are you sure you want to do that, you have such a beautiful figure are you scared about losing it? They get crazy mad at me but I'm just trying to warn them, yes it's none of my freaking bussiness if they procreate or not but it's not all of us parents who try to "convert" everyone into joining our mommy club. I ask you what is the appropriate answer in this case? when my friends tell me they want to have tons of kids but have none yet and don't know what they're getting into. Should I LIE and say it's a bliss and omit the hardships of losing your sleep etc or should aI warn them and tell them kids are not for everyone, are you sure? you will need lots of patience etc etc etc. Either way I end up getting the short end of the stick, what should I say??? maybe I'll just shut up and not say anything, just oh congrats! good for you and leave it at that. I really would like to talk about it without offending anyone. anyways that's my rant for the day! love your blog and have a wonderful day, Hi Britgirl, I enojy your site for the most part, of course there will be comments that are offensive for both non-parents and parent side but overall I thoroughly enjoy your site and copming across so many different points of view.
I’m a mom and to be quite honest I’ve never been in love with anyone or anything as I am with my children, BUT when my friends childless friends tell me they’re are trying to conceive I honestly ask them: Are you sure you want to do that, you have such a beautiful figure are you scared about losing it?
They get crazy mad at me but I’m just trying to warn them, yes it’s none of my freaking bussiness if they procreate or not but it’s not all of us parents who try to “convert” everyone into joining our mommy club.
I ask you what is the appropriate answer in this case? when my friends tell me they want to have tons of kids but have none yet and don’t know what they’re getting into. Should I LIE and say it’s a bliss and omit the hardships of losing your sleep etc or should aI warn them and tell them kids are not for everyone, are you sure? you will need lots of patience etc etc etc.
Either way I end up getting the short end of the stick, what should I say??? maybe I’ll just shut up and not say anything, just oh congrats! good for you and leave it at that. I really would like to talk about it without offending anyone.

anyways that’s my rant for the day! love your blog and have a wonderful day,

]]> By: Valerie Stachurski http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-17946 Valerie Stachurski Wed, 17 Mar 2010 17:57:33 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-17946 I agree you are a most fascinating woman! I'd love to interview you someday. I think you'd be a great role model for many women, I agree you are a most fascinating woman! I’d love to interview you someday. I think you’d be a great role model for many women,

]]> By: MesaMuffinHead http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-17817 MesaMuffinHead Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:00:44 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-17817 Hi Britgirl, I am sitting here trying to think of something to say that would affect you as much as the way your writing does for me, but I'm not having much luck. I really enjoy reading your posts and wonder that it must be odd that strangers have a sense of who you are and get pleasure out of learning about a person without meeting them. Anyhow, I'm glad that there are people that are willing to "put themselves out there" like you are and tell it "like it is." One of my MBA professors has told me that blogging is very important in this new social media world. Maybe I'll get up the courage one day to start my own. Hi Britgirl,

I am sitting here trying to think of something to say that would affect you as much as the way your writing does for me, but I’m not having much luck. I really enjoy reading your posts and wonder that it must be odd that strangers have a sense of who you are and get pleasure out of learning about a person without meeting them.

Anyhow, I’m glad that there are people that are willing to “put themselves out there” like you are and tell it “like it is.”

One of my MBA professors has told me that blogging is very important in this new social media world. Maybe I’ll get up the courage one day to start my own.

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-14583 Britgirl Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:28:46 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-14583 To everyone who's left a comment here... they are much appreciated and very humbling! Thank you! To everyone who’s left a comment here… they are much appreciated and very humbling! Thank you!

]]> By: Britgirl http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-14582 Britgirl Fri, 10 Oct 2008 02:11:40 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-14582 Hello Kate, thanks for your kind comments :D. Feel free to use my disclaimer, all you need to do to credit it is link to my name - Britgirl. If you use Wordpress, just make a link in the same way as you'd do when you create a post. If you're friends with Timethief she'll tell you how she did it. I have your email, so I why don't I send you it as text and you can edit it. Cheers! Hello Kate, thanks for your kind comments :D . Feel free to use my disclaimer, all you need to do to credit it is link to my name – Britgirl. If you use WordPress, just make a link in the same way as you’d do when you create a post. If you’re friends with Timethief she’ll tell you how she did it. I have your email, so I why don’t I send you it as text and you can edit it. Cheers!

]]> By: Kate Rawlins http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-14581 Kate Rawlins Fri, 10 Oct 2008 01:56:46 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-14581 Hi - I'm a 60yr old + woman, 6 weeks blogging, and trying to put together my blog pages. I saw your disclaimer language on Timethief's page and I'd like permission to use some of it. May I please? I'm so new at this, I don't know what I'll use exactly, but I've seen the names listed as credits, and I'll try to figure out how to do that also. Any help/advice you can impart, would be welcome and apprecited. Thank you, Kate p.s. your site is fantastic! Geez - from your 100 list, that's the first time I've seen that, to the "spams eaten," - and the first time I've seen that -everything is professional yet personal. Congratulations. Hi – I’m a 60yr old + woman, 6 weeks blogging, and trying to put together my blog pages. I saw your disclaimer language on Timethief’s page and I’d like permission to use some of it. May I please? I’m so new at this, I don’t know what I’ll use exactly, but I’ve seen the names listed as credits, and I’ll try to figure out how to do that also. Any help/advice you can impart, would be welcome and apprecited. Thank you, Kate

p.s. your site is fantastic! Geez – from your 100 list, that’s the first time I’ve seen that, to the “spams eaten,” – and the first time I’ve seen that -everything is professional yet personal. Congratulations.

]]> By: Elena http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-14221 Elena Tue, 19 Aug 2008 17:19:19 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-14221 Just came across your site and I absolutely love it! I just recently wrote an article about parents wanting us to be as miserable as they are and boy, did parents get pissed! http://unscriptedlife.net/articles/im-convinced-misery-loves-company I am glad that there are logical, educated women out there such as yourself that are advocates for those women who have been thoughtful enough to think through a life altering decision rather than just "doing it" b/c that is what is expected of us. Thank you for such a great site! Just came across your site and I absolutely love it! I just recently wrote an article about parents wanting us to be as miserable as they are and boy, did parents get pissed!

http://unscriptedlife.net/articles/im-convinced-misery-loves-company

I am glad that there are logical, educated women out there such as yourself that are advocates for those women who have been thoughtful enough to think through a life altering decision rather than just “doing it” b/c that is what is expected of us. Thank you for such a great site!

]]> By: Pootle http://thebritgirl.com/about/comment-page-1/#comment-13786 Pootle Mon, 07 Jul 2008 21:38:21 +0000 http://thebritgirl.com/?p=7#comment-13786 Hi Britgirl! I'm a Britgirl too and happened to stumble across your site today. I'm SO pleased that I did. You're an inspiration. My husband and I moved to the US from London over 2 years ago for his work and I too had a very successful life there; wonderful family and friends and a sucessful career in the business world. We've always questioned our decision to have children but when we moved to the US we decided I should give up my career and move to a 'sensible' area and start a family. This is what people kept telling us we should be doing, especially at my age (!) and especially because my husband is an expat out here and would could be a better time? We could never bring ourselves to lose the birth control ... we started listening to the voices inside our heads telling us this wasn't for us (after pushing it to the back of our minds for years) and after a depressing couple of years of losing sight of who I am, realising what we really want, and not listening to other people telling us 'we'll regret it' I've decided it's time to take control of MY life again! We no longer feel guilty about our decision and it's time now to get my career back on track and move back to the city! Something I have felt awful about doing but now I know that was such a foolish mindset! I'm so looking forward to reading your blog again, you sound just like the type of friend I'd enjoy meeting over a glass of wine! Thank you for making me feel that there's not something wrong with me and it's O.K to be childfree. x Hi Britgirl!
I’m a Britgirl too and happened to stumble across your site today. I’m SO pleased that I did. You’re an inspiration. My husband and I moved to the US from London over 2 years ago for his work and I too had a very successful life there; wonderful family and friends and a sucessful career in the business world. We’ve always questioned our decision to have children but when we moved to the US we decided I should give up my career and move to a ‘sensible’ area and start a family. This is what people kept telling us we should be doing, especially at my age (!) and especially because my husband is an expat out here and would could be a better time?

We could never bring ourselves to lose the birth control … we started listening to the voices inside our heads telling us this wasn’t for us (after pushing it to the back of our minds for years) and after a depressing couple of years of losing sight of who I am, realising what we really want, and not listening to other people telling us ‘we’ll regret it’ I’ve decided it’s time to take control of MY life again! We no longer feel guilty about our decision and it’s time now to get my career back on track and move back to the city! Something I have felt awful about doing but now I know that was such a foolish mindset!

I’m so looking forward to reading your blog again, you sound just like the type of friend I’d enjoy meeting over a glass of wine! Thank you for making me feel that there’s not something wrong with me and it’s O.K to be childfree.

x

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