Like It Is

I promised I’d print Lydia Lovric’s response to Christine’s letter. So, with Christine’s kind permission, here it is. I have to say it’s been a while since I’ve read something quite so patronizing and just plain uninformed. There are obviously no reasons that are good enough for not breeding having kids as far as she’s concerned. While tossing a sap at childfree people by acknowledging that “there are some people who truly shouldn’t have kids,” she then goes on to underline that:

“a lot of couples today are purely selfish in their desire not to have kids.”

Let’s see now, how many childfree couples did Ms Lovric interview? Which childfree literature/childfree sources did she consult? How many older couples “spending thousands and thousands on fertility treatments” did she actually talk to? Yet she knows that these older women are people who are/were childfree? And as for the survey she quotes that shows more than 70% of childfree (or childless as she calls them) women regretted their decision – that would be an interesting read. Even if it were true, this smacks of the “you’ll regret it one day…” bingo.

According to Ms Lovric (who sprogged up became a mother last October) we selfish childfree folk know nothing. And we are going to discover that (gasp!!) there’s more to life - and it’s kids! But read on. Her letter to Christine saved me bothering to send her a letter of my own… Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Lydia Lovric, childfree, childless, childfree

Census confirms many Canadians see kids as burden, not a blessing

This article from the Province came to me courtesy of ChrisW. Thank you Chris and Christine.

It’s great when readers send things they think you’ll be interested in. Particularly when it’s something like this. By “something like this”, I don’t mean Ms Lovric’s piece, which clearly shows that Lydia Lovric does not get it, however isn’t about to let that get in the way of a story.

Take this excerpt for example:

“So why are so many Canadians shunning parenthood?

For many, it boils down to materialism and selfishness. Today’s twenty- and-thirtysomethings seem to think that travelling the world, driving fancy cars and living in luxury condos will give them more joy in life than raising children.”

Whew! Talk about preaching. And assuming she knows more Read the rest of this entry »

Good Evening, Lydia,

I read your article and I did find it interesting. However, people in general, can and often times do, choose not to have kids for many viable and non-selfish reasons. And sometimes those non-selfish reasons can at surface level seem selfish, but when in fact are not. Here are some examples that readily come to mind.

(1a.) asthma and diabetes run strong in my husband and myself’s families…I grew up with it since I was 1 years old. Why would I put another soul through the kind of sickness and suffering that I went through all of my life? That would be very selfish of me. b) Diabetes can worsen the quality of life, why would I be selfish to put another soul through that?
Diabetes can lead to poor circulation and gout.

2.) If you know from the very beginning, that you could not handle some brats incessant screaming and acting up, and you know that you would have zero patience, ..why abuse the child or worse than that to a child, because you have not enough patience or tolerance? that would be selfish.

3.) Is it selfish to say no to having kids, because you have a lot of debt or do not make enough?

4.) Is it selfish to like peace and quiet in our daily lives?,

5.) Is it selfish to want to have the freedom to choose when and where we like to travel or eat dinner at ? I do not think it is wrong for anyone to choose a life that works for them. We have wonderful friends, family members and hobbies/interests that keep life enriching and enjoyable and meaningful for us.

I would like others who think peoples life’s ambitions are to get married and have kids….to understand that many others choose a happy, valid childfree way of life and to not try to force their views onto already happy, well-adjusted childfrees or for the people sitting on the fence and are undecided.

Thanks for listening. I hope this explains things better.

christine, chris and da birdies.

Technorati Tags: childfree

It was bad enough to read of the parents having the sextuplets Watching the medical profession and most of the press “oh” and “ah” over the latest “miracle” of the multiple births (most likely by IVF and super-ovulation) was pretty sickening. What about hearing that the sextuplets were struggling for their lives, and would probably have health problems all their lives?

Babies don’t do a lot for me. But every time I thought of those babies I felt sad for them. And angry. Angry at so-called parents who appear to be quite willing and able to take a risk on these babies lives because, wait for it – they wanted a child. Nothing else mattered and IVF was the way to go,even if they were going to produce six babies. Six! And, should you be thinking well, they couldn’t foresee this, it was suggested early in the pregnancy the foetuses could be selectively aborted. But they believed in the sanctity of life, they said. So the mother refused. Seems odd that now they are willing to risk those same lives, particularly as two have already died. Read the rest of this entry »

And this time, who better to do it than a sleazy politician who simply loves to engage in point scoring. This time it is Jack Layton of the New Democrats, who is accusing the banks of “gouging customers with the fees they charge to withdraw and deposit cash at ATMs” (Automatic Tellers, or Cash Points if you’re a UK reader).

Mr Layton, in an election style street corner rant, said that for a bank to charge a customer who wants $40 or $60 of their money out from an ATM is unfair. And that the $19 billion profits Canadian banks made last year should be enough to waive ATM convenience fees.

Yes, of course we all hate banks making money. We have no problem shelling out over inflated payments to buy a gas guzzling new car that drops a third of its value as soon as you drive it from the showroom, or taking out a mortgage of several thousand dollars to buy our dream home. We are happy to pay $1.75 for a plain tea, several times a day, Read the rest of this entry »

The birth of sextuplets today in Vancouver Canada, is being hailed as a miracle. I scratch my head as I read the article in the Toronto Star. Am I missing something here?

For whom is it a miracle? For science? For the march forward of IVF?

When I think of these six premature children I feel very very sad for them.Those tiny children are struggling for their lives, yet they didn’t ask to be here. When I think of the mother, my blood just boils. As soon as I heard of these multiple births I just knew it had to be IVF. I hadn’t yet read the story. But, actually no, not just IVF. Apparently, if you can’t afford IVF, you can go the cheaper route of superovulation
But first this is what struck me the most:

• Obstetrician Dr. Timothy Rowe, who heads the division of reproductive endocrinology and infertility at the University of British Columbia, said today that he is deeply concerned about the chances of survival for the six babies.
• Rowe said the six premature infants will face several health challenges, including underdeveloped lungs and blindness.
• The four boys and two girls were born at B.C. Women’s Hospital on Sunday, almost 6 1/2 months into their mother’s pregnancy.
• The six tiny babies were likely conceived through the use of fertility drugs, he said.

Instead of in vitro fertilization (IVF) treatment for infertility, it’s likely the mother underwent superovulation, Rowe said. That’s when a woman who is unable to naturally have children injects a group of drugs over an eight to 10-day period so her ovaries can produce several mature eggs during a menstrual cycle. Read the rest of this entry »

Wow! I don’t know about you, but I always get excited about a brand new year. I say goodbye to the outgoing year that will soon be no more – with thanks for having come through it, and not too much dwelling on the fact that now we’re a year older – at the same time as I look forward to welcoming in the brand new year.

At work today, we left early, with everyone saying “Happy New Year and “See you you in 2007!” Then there’s the one minute before midnight, doing the countdown when we step from one year into another…

Being a Brit abroad, with my family in England I mark the start of the new year twice. At 7 pm in Canada it will already be 2007 in England and we’ll have wished everyone there a happy new year, before we celebrate the new year here in Toronto.

The New Year brings to mind those things.. called Resolutions. I don’t make new year resolutions because somehow I never ever managed to keep them in the past. For some strange reason fwhenever I made new year resolutions the action set up a corresponding and immediate invitation to break them. By the time March came around they’d be abandoned and forgotten them.

But I do review the year, what I’ve done, become, achiieved, what I’ve learned (or not) and set goals for the year, which I write down and review at intervals through the year.This really works for me. I’ve been doing this for several years now and have found that I achieve most of the goals I write down. It’s actually pretty amazing to look back during the year and see the goals I have achieved - that of course means I set new ones. The key for me is not merely thinking them, but writing them down and setting a time around them. There is something very powerful about writing down goals and intentions. I believe it sets in motion the elements of what is needed to bring the goal. And the journey is always interesting!

So what about you? How was 2006 for you? Did you have a high point? A low point? Surprises? Are you looking forward to 2007? Do you set goals? Or do you make resolutions? If you make resolutions, how well have you kept them? What works for you?

Wishing you a safe, happy and prosperous New Year!

We had such a wonderful time in Montreal and Quebec City. As a Brit used to hopping on a plane to go on holiday, driving to our destination was really something quite different for me. When going on holiday within Canada and to the States Canadians tend to drive, since it’s where they are going is usually but a few hours away by car. I’d hesitated in the past, but now can’t wait to do it again. Our experience was wonderful –romantic, relaxed and leisurely. No waiting for planes, rushing to airports. lugging luggage to the various gates which are always miles away from where you actually check in. I really relished the difference.

A picture is worth a thousand words I believe, so our photos on Flickr will hopefully help capture the story of the fantastic time we had. Right now I’m working on re-naming them our photos, and will upload to my Flickr site over the next few days. I’ve uploaded some already, and some are also on the blog, so feel free to have a look. And enjoy.

As I mentioned in my previous posts on Quebec we spent most of the time walking – almost all it uphill, exploring Old Quebec, taking photographs, taking in the stunning views, and sampling the excellent gastronomic delights of Quebecois cuisine and hospitality in the great restaurants. Portofino, the photo in my current header is one of the restaurants we went to that came highly recommended – it did not disappoint. It is known as the best Italian restaurant in Quebec City. Oh my! It was amazing. The walking was great exercise – there is nowhere that is flat in Quebec City – especially visiting the Citadelle and the Plains of Abraham. We are pretty fit, but boy, did we feel it the day after. We had great weather, and the one rainy day was the last day we were there, so that worked out very well.

My husband is into beer rating (he has rated over 1,700 to date from all over the world) so we also visited a couple of Brew Pubs and Microbreweries – La Barberie being one of them. La Mere a Boire was another – where we could taste (and he could rate) some interesting Quebec beers. It was great fun – just us and whatever we wanted to do. I think the most pressing question we had was “Where shall we have dinner this evening?”

So, for those interested in visiting historic Quebec City – I would highly recommend it. People told me I would love it and now I know why.

I absolutely did.

Education Originally uploaded by TownieBrit.
One of the amazing sculptures we came across during our walk through Old Quebec City, on Rue Sainte Anne. It’s hard to describe how I felt when I saw this, but when I did I absolutely had to take a photo of it and pray it captured the sense of the surreal.

Originally uploaded by TownieBrit.

Just a few of the over 200 photos we’ve taken so far in beautiful historic Quebec City. Over the next few days I’ll be uploading most of them to my Flickr photosite, so if you’re interested in seeing more you can see them there.