Like It Is

Don’t you just love the Onion? A reader of Like It Is sent me this link, saying they thought of me when they came across it and hoped I would enjoy it. Thank you dear reader! I did. I am still enjoying it immensely. And what better way of saying thanks than to share the humour with you all. It is, in typical Onion style, both hilarious and sly. It had my full childfree appreciation.

A big thanks again to you great and mighty readers who not only read Like It Is, or comment on Like It Is but also send me such interesting links which at some point will appear on Like It is. Cheers, enjoy and read on, people.

NEW BRIGHTON, MN — Immediately following a physician’s examination for her menstrual cessation, 37-year-old events planner Janice Crowley told reporters Tuesday that she is “ecstatic” with her diagnosis of a rapidly growing intrauterine parasite.

“I’m so happy!” Crowley said of the golf ball–sized, nutrient-sapping organism embedded deep in the wall of her uterus. “I was beginning to think this would never happen to me.”

Get the scoop here: Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite

Technorati Tags: childfree appreciation

It’s Friday. Time for a laugh. And a timeless lesson on how Consultants can make a difference for an organization…

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When another waiter brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, “Why the spoon?”

“Well,” he explained, “the restaurant’s owners hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.”

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his spare. “I’ll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.”

I was impressed. And I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter’s fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, “Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?”

“Oh, certainly!” Then he lowered his voice. “Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we could save time in the toilet. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the toilet by 76.39 percent.”

“After you get it out, how do you put it back?”

“Well,” he whispered, “I don’t know about the others, but I use the spoon.”

Huzza sent me these. He said they were “sort of related to my blog.” I like the sly humour. How long did it take you to get this one?

A friend sent me these… you might have come across some of them before but they gave me a good laugh….

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.”

So he tied her up and went golfing.

*****************************************************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,”Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!” The husband said, “Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?” “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “Just get out.” Read the rest of this entry »

It’s Mother’s Day in North America on Sunday.  Mother’s Day in England is in March. So, thanks to my darling Canadian husband, I end up having two Mother’s days. I’ll never be a mother, and, though many think I should be upset about that, I’m not. Mother’s Day can be a time when the childfree can feel completely sidelined in more ways than one. Almost an excuse for others to give you that sidelong look and ask… “so when are you going to….?” Fill in the blanks.

But a friend sent me this today and I was so tickled (translation = it made me laugh) I thought I’d share it. Mothers or non-mothers, here’s a reminder that we are all someone’s daughter or son. And we’ll probably be wishing our Mums happy Mother’s Day.

Enjoy!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of
next week!”

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
” Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to
the store with me.”

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.” Read the rest of this entry »

Technorati Tags: Mother’s Day, childfree

I was sent this by my friend MonkeyMagico.

LOL! This is so funny! And I’m told by Facebook users (who shall remain nameless) so true.

Technorati Tags: Facebook

Now, I realize that perhaps if you aren’t a Brit, or more specifically, a Londoner, The Ten London Transport Commandments may not resonate with you in quite the same way they do with me. On the other hand, it was Kathy of A Likely Story who sent me this, and said it reminded her of me, so I could be underestimating my substantial North American Audience appreciation for the humour underlining these great (and long overdue in my opinion) suggestions. If so, forgive me .

After all, if you travel by transit/public transport in most parts of the world, many of these will be quite familiar to you. I am both a Brit and a Londoner – with a love/hate relationship with the Tube – and I have to say I hugely appreciated this. And I had such a good laugh.

Thank you Kath – this SO made my day. I’m in total agreement with practically all the Commandments – no surprise there - and the additional suggestions are even funnier. We’ll be in London later this year, and I’ll eagerly hope to see these on my Oyster card so hopefully it’ll get plenty of support.

And I’ve passed on the link to all my friends back home…I got great satisfaction saying that a fellow blogger from Denver Colorado sent me the link. Oh, isn’t blogging just great! Heh!

If you happen to be a Londoner reading this, do pass on the link as well – and check out the very neat Friday Cities blog.

Kathy, cheers mate – you rock!

The Ten London Transport Commandments

Technorati Tags: Londoner, the Tube, London, Friday Cities

You are going to love this! That’s if you haven’t already seen it. The scary thing is that what the cat is playing almost sounds like a tune!! (I thought it was “Chopsticks”).

Purrrfect!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZ860P4iTaM

Perhaps because I’d blogged about Valentine’s day I was more acutely aware of all the Valentine’s day trappings and interesting little things people were doing… So I thought I share what I noticed today going to and from work. Had to grin to myself.

1. 1. The Hallmark card shops were packed… mostly with guys. I have never seen so many guys in a card shop before! Looks like they’d nipped in to get that card for The One at the last minute. Just like Christmas… (heh)
   2. All the nice classy cards went very quickly. Spotted quite a few empty display holes and lots of leftover cards
   3. Even the crappiest simplest cards were bloody expensive!
   4. I happened to spot the prices of a bunch of flowers in one of the flower shops near where I work. Nearly $CDN40.00 for a smallish bunch!? So.. for an acceptable bunch we’re looking at say $CDN80 and up. But the alternative? Turn up with no flowers? On Valentine’s Day? Not worth the risk
   5. There was a queue (line) in the flower shop. Mostly guys.
   6. Flower wrapping services were available. Mostly guys in these lines.
   7. I did get wished Happy Valentine’s day – to which I replied “same to you.” It hadn’t occurred to me to say it first, because although I’m reminded of it, I just never remember it! Except when I blog